I sat awake in my dormitory, listening to the soft breathing of my roommates sleeping. It was, according to the clock that gently ticked away time above my bed, three am.
All I could think about was Nott's.
Initially, I hadn't wanted to go. The idea of spending an evening with Malfoy, pretending to be "la-vahs" seemed about as appealing as playing leapfrog with a Unicorn.
But then something had changed. We'd kissed, and I'd faced my feelings. I was starting to care about Malfoy, but I didn't know how it could be stopped. I groaned, frustrated at my uncontrollable teenage hormones.
The evening had been... pleasant, up to a point. His personality may have been enough to make me wish I was a lesbian, but my, could he dance. Having taken dancing classes at a young age, I knew myself to be capable on the dance floor, and in all honesty I should have expected the same from my partner, but yet it didn't seem plausible. In truth, he was fantastic.
Bloody brilliant. Let's chalk that up on the 'Malfoy's Attractions' list, shall we Astoria? As if I wasn't having enough difficulty controlling myself around the git.
Matters were only made worse my his gentle manner all night, and "to dissuade the students, as is the purpose of the evening", his hands had become very comfortable very quickly with my skin.
I shivered, recalling something he'd said to be at the beginning of the evening.
"Astoria,"
My gaze flickered to him immediately. My first name sounded alien in his velvet voice, his tone a caress.
"Tonight, you're my lover." He said it as a foreigner would, 'la-vah'.
His eyes roamed my face, his hand coming up to turn my cheek in his direction.
"Act accordingly." he gave me a quick, almost lazy kiss on the cheek, before straightening and offering me his hand.
"Shall we?"
My cheek continued to burn. I couldn't help but feel it was right, natural even, to act like that with Malfoy. We'd been separate from the others, aloof, very much a couple. Companionship in our isolation. I knew he felt as much contempt for many of our peers as I did, and it drove the act to a much deeper level. He may be an arse, but I could understand him, as well as being drawn in by his many complexities.
Draco Malfoy. His name was a question that I desperately wanted the answer too.
My thoughts shifted. Was it wrong that I spent so much of my life obsessing over someone I didn't even like? Daphne had made things impossible between us, and yet I liked the distraction from the constant worry about Mother.
Things had taken a turn for the worse.
She was still unconscious, but her frame was rapidly deteriorating. Her arms were limp from lack of use, her muscle wasting away, her face slack and uninhabited by the usual sparkle of life that I needed so much.
I was to see her tomorrow. I needed my sleep or the visit would be unbearable. The world did not need to see grouchy Astoria fighting with her sister as tensions ran high by a hospital bed.
I sighed, and slipped out of my bed before carefully navigating my feet into my slippers. A nice, steaming mug of warm milk with hazel should do the trick; and the house elves would love to be of service, no matter the time.
My feet made a faint echo as I slid slowly down the empty corridor towards the stairs, the only noise my heart obediently pumping hot blood through my veins.
I froze as I reached the entrance of the common room. Two voices were conversing rapidly, in hushed tones. I knew immediately my sudden appearance would not be welcome, and so I ducked into the shadows to listen to the secrets spread in the dark.
"You think she suspects?" The voice seemed familiar, if a little rough.
"Not yet. It's merely a matter of time. She's not an idiot Draco. She wont turn a blind eye either." Even my faithful heart seemed to slow at this news - and I was shocked to recognise Nott's voice.
"I can't leave her alone." the voice was a whisper.
"Love will make fools out of the best of us, and you are certainly not the best."
Malfoy's voice hardened. "I am nobodies fool," he sneered. "Least of all love. I merely find her intriguing. If you believe me to be making a mistake, say so. I'm in no mood for your damned nonsense."
I heard Nott laugh, a small, sarcastic one. "You were nobodies fool, I think you'll find you've been adopted. You need to focus, Draco, and start looking for opportunity. The Dark Lord has wished it, and so it must be done."
I could almost see the look of Malfoy's anger in my minds eye.
"Yes, I realise that, Theodore. It was me that got entrusted with the task after all. Try showing some respect."
This time Nott laughed in sheer amusement. "I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter. Everyone knows you only got selected due to your family's... mistakes."
"I'll ignore the slight due to the fact that you've been drinking, but it's time for you to go to bed." In spite of it's scratchy sound, Malfoy's voice was steel.
"I think I will. Make sure it gets done Draco. I won't be happy if I have to finish what you started."
"It will be done." His tone clearly portrayed that the conversation was over, and I panicked as I heard the swish of Nott's cloak coming towards the stairs, and inevitably my hiding place.
Nott paused as he walked past me, smirked and disappeared up the stairs, his voice floating down towards me.
"Goodnight, Astoria."
I sighed. Now Draco had been alerted to my presence, I had to show myself. I stepped out of the shadows.
Malfoy's outline was filled with tension as he looked into the dwindling fire.
I remained silent as I drew nearer to the sofa where a shock of white hair stood out against the smooth blackness of the leather, his portrait drenched in firelight.
"Hello."
He remained silent, and I took the opportunity to apologise for my behaviour.
"I'm sorry I was rude to you."
His face flickered was something I couldn't decipher.
"Don't ever apologise to me. Not to anyone, but especially not to me. I don't deserve it."
That was unexpected. I edged closer, and then moved back again at the smell.
"Are you drunk?" My voice was flooded with naive surprise. Was it really that shocking?
He finally looked at me, his eyes were slightly bloodshot, the smell of firewhisky evident.
"What do you care?" The voice was hoarse; rough. He said the words slowly, as if he was savouring the taste of them.
"I don't." My words were too quick, too rushed to be innocent.
He smirked, and I flushed.
We sat in silence for a moment longer.
"I'm not the man you think I am, Astoria. I cheat, I lie, I kill... so why are you still here? Is there no beginning to your good taste?"
"Sorry, I didn't realise this was a pity party. I forgot my party dress." My voice oozed with sarcasm.
His eyes flashed dangerously.
"This isn't a joke. It's a warning. You know what they say. 'Those who play with fire always get burned'. I'm a Death Eater. You shouldn't be near me. It's too dangerous."
"I also know that the very same people say 'those who speak in clichés lack the wit to think of things to say themselves'. You're not that bad. Don't pretend you're all hard now you've made friends with Daddy's cult, and got yourself a big, bad tattoo. You don't scare me, Draco Malfoy."
I don't know why I was protesting so hard. Secretly, I'd loved him trying so hard to get me. I got a thrill from his threats. Was I so desperate that I needed to convince him to continue? I felt sick with myself, but I didn't stop.
"You're wrong. I do scare you. I scare myself more. I'm trying to help you. I'm not going to argue with you any longer. Stay. Away. From Me."
He got up to leave, but I darted out of my seat to stop him.
I was pissed now. Sparring with Malfoy had become a constant I loved. He couldn't deny me the pleasure of beating him verbally by turning the other cheek and refusing to satisfy my need to fight.
"If I'm wrong, tell me everything you know that can contradict me. I can spare ten seconds."
He looked at me, and that more than anything was what let me loosen my grip enough for him to shake my grasp. Hs eyes were blank, the intelligent flame that usually resided there snuffed.
Without another word, he too disappeared up the stairs. I growled in irritation. Perfect.
Malfoy looked like hell, smelled worse, had the unflattering complexion of self-pity drawn all over his smarmy face and had just left me alone in the dark... and yet I still wanted to repeat what had happened in the class room.
I was beginning to understand Daphne's insane obsession, and the thought horrified me. Shoving all thoughts of Daphne aside, I ran up the stairs once more, my mind turning with the overheard conversation and Malfoy's contrasting behaviour to the evening, and spent hours tossing and turning before falling into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.
Tomorrow was not going to be a good day.
A/N So, like ten chapters in, and a plot begins to emerge. Ha.
I really appreciate every review, and I thank ColouringCrayons and .Wannabe-Fantasy, whose reviews always make my day. Thanks!
OH! And I need a good summary for the story. If anyone can help at helping me sum up my ramblings, I would credit them and be eternally grateful, if anybody is interested. ^-^