So sorry for the extremely late update, life got in the way!
Finally got to write this Lily chapter and it turned out quite long so I'll have to finish it in another instalment.
Thanks for all the lovely comments etc. so far, it means a lot!
Chapter Ten: Harvey, Lily and 'Someone Special'
Harvey had an ease about him once he put down his phone. His mother was overjoyed to hear from him, although she didn't overly show it. They were far too alike in that way. She had sounded sweet and friendly, and surprised nonetheless.
"Harvey, I would love to come see you. It's perfect timing actually, I'm free all weekend."
"That's great Mom. I'll arrange your travel from Boston, you don't have to worry about a thing."
As he hung up he didn't even realise how much he was beaming. That signature grin overtaking his entire face. His panic attack less than twenty minutes beforehand quickly becoming a distant memory.
He felt like change needed to happen. And he had to be the one to make it happen. This time. His mind quickly drifted back to the only redhead worth thinking about. I have to let her be happy. With him. If he wasn't going to be the one in her life directly contributing to her happiness, then he was determined not to be the one taking it away from her either. Not anymore.
As Harvey was leaving the office he stopped before getting into the elevator fully and side-eyed the wall on his left. He took a step back and turned to face it. The doors slid closed without him inside. He was staring at the proud letters up on the wall. He decided that this night would be the last night his former mentor's name would remain up there. Living in the past and putting things off due to fear had only cost him what he loved most so far.
Knowing Louis wouldn't mind, seeing as it was inevitably going to happen in the coming days anyway, he had asked Gretchen to organise for someone to come take 'Pearson' away, before she went home.
Harvey had been surprised at three things that night;
How bittersweet the moment turned out to be.
How he wanted a special someone to be there with him.
How said 'special someone' magically appeared just as he was wishing for her.
…
After he and Donna had shared drinks in his office that night he couldn't help but notice her increasingly somber mood as the hour ticked by. As much as he wanted to pry into what was weighing her down, he decided to keep it as a 'work friends' celebratory meeting. He didn't want to test the waters with her just yet. They had come almost full circle in less than a week and he wasn't willing to cause any more turmoil between them. He decided to try and cheer her up by mentioning that he had called his mother that night instead.
"Harvey, that's wonderful! It's so nice to see you on good terms with her, you have no idea." Donna beamed softly, looking up at him from his office leather couch with a tooth-bearing grin as he stood before her, refilling their glasses with scotch.
He sat down beside her then after handing her back her glass, leaving a good two feet between them. He gave her a soft, mellow smirk before replying, "Thanks Donna. But we both know that it's you I have to thank for that." he offered, taking a sip from his glass whilst side-eyeing her.
She shook her head and flashed her eyes up to the ceiling briefly with a half-smirk, "Please. I merely encouraged you to go see her that time, you did everything else." she responded in modesty, mirroring his drinking after she had finished her sentence.
"You're never gonna let me give you credit for that are you?" he laughed, looking into his glass.
"I didn't do it for credit, Harvey." she smiled, causing him to look back at her, "I did it because you were in pain and I wanted you to be happy."
Happy. That word again, he thought as he let out a light scoff.
"What?" she quizzed, knitting her long brows into concern.
"Nothing.. It's just.." He thought before adding, "I'm not happy, Donna." He paused briefly again upon noticing her reaction, "Not to sound ungrateful, in any way, I mean.. what you did for me in terms of my mother, made me so much happier. That weight that's been on my shoulders since I was a teenager is gone now.."
She dropped her glass to her lap, eyeing him up somewhat nervously, "But you still have other weights." she finished for him.
"Exactly." he nodded, taking a sip.
Donna was fairly certain that at least one of those weights was her. If not all of them. After all, Harvey had tried to offer her something in terms of a relationship that night at his apartment. The night he kissed her. But he didn't offer her enough, he didn't offer her what they would need in order to survive as a couple if they were to finally take that plunge, so she reluctantly turned him down, for another man.
She wasn't ready to have this conversation, especially not after her unsuccessful rendezvous with none other than Mark himself. All she wanted tonight was a drink or two with her once best pal, where they celebrated him now being the first name attached to the firm.
"What made you call her, now?" she asked, thinking and hoping it would steer the conversation away from her and Harvey. Trying to avoid or change the subject, just like he used to do all those years.
"Because. I put off showing her that I loved her for so long. And I'll never get those years back. Ever." He stopped to look her in the eye, "But I can make sure that I don't lose out on any more."
Not breaking eye contact, she inhaled a sharper breath. This wasn't just about him and his mother anymore. She relaxed her shoulders, realising how startled she must have appeared then, "Well good. I'm proud of you Harvey. You've come a long way."
"Just not long enough. Right?" he teased.
There was a pause in conversation as they let all the words sink in. Donna swore she saw him inch towards her ever so slowly, maybe even subconsciously so, "I better go, it's been a long night." She shuffled in her seat then, "And again, I'm so happy for you Harvey." she smiled, eyes sparkling.
He nodded slowly, looking down to the ground at her feet as she stood up, "I'll take that as a yes to meeting my mother this weekend then? I asked her to the City. I'm sure she'll want to see where I work at some stage."
"It would be an honour." she replied in surprise, "I can finally find out what you were really like with the ladies in high school.." She wondered if that was inappropriate considering what their relationship was like now, but shook the thought. It was just a joke between two old friends.
"I don't think you wanna know." he laughed warmly.
"Oh I don't want to know. I need to know." she said in an exaggerated tone.
They shared a chuckle before she gathered her coat and bag and made her way out of his office.
"Good night, Harvey."
"Good night, Donna."
Each of them practicing the voices they only use for one another.
Being so civil was torture for them both. Especially when they really wanted to rip each others clothes off.
…
Lily arrived outside her son's building bright and early the next morning. He was out front waiting for her. As she climbed out of the cab he skipped over to give her a quick, warm hug before taking her bags off the driver and tipping him handsomely. They made their way up the elevator and into his apartment.
"Wow. You really live here?" Lily remarked in both shock and pride at physically being able to see how well her estranged son had done for himself. She moved her head around his apartment taking it all in before walking over to the glass paneled walls to their left, and making her way out onto the balcony to take in the view of the City.
"I really do.." he smirked, placing her weekend bag down on his kitchen counter.
She made her way back inside and over to her son, "This is amazing, Harvey. I'm so proud of how well you've done for yourself. In spite of everything.." she trailed off, looking away slightly.
"It's alright I suppose." he said modestly.
Lily noticed how he didn't seem proud, like he didn't care. She threw him a quizzical stare.
"I guess I'm at that stage now where I'd rather have a home than a bachelor pad.." he said humorously, still unable to hide how much he actually meant it.
She pressed her lips together and creased her brows, offering him a sympathetic look that only made him turn away to make them some coffee. His mother tiptoed over to him as his back was turned to her, him facing the coffee machine, "No 'special' woman in your life then?" she asked inquisitively.
The metal spoon bounced against the marble counter-top as he dropped it down, his body freezing over, stiffening. He let out a quiet sigh, remembering the conversation he had with his mother in Boston months prior.
"Why now?"
"Someone very special to me convinced me that I needed to."
He knew exactly what she was hinting at. They may not have had the most typical mother-son relationship over the years, but right now she was in full mother hen mode. He gathered the two cups in his hands and turned to her with a mock warning look on his face, "Mommm."
She took her cup and sheepishly followed him to sit at the kitchen island, "What? A mother can't ask about her own son's love life now?"
"You can.." he said sitting down, "But I don't have to answer." he teased lightly, taking a sip of the hot drink, eager to put the cup between him and her curious gaze.
She let out her own little smirk as she sat down at the corner of the island, adjacent to Harvey, "I guess I just assumed there was a special someone in your life after our last meet back home, Harvey. I don't mean to pry."
"It's okay Mom, I think that's what mothers are supposed to do."
"I guess I'm a little out of practice with you, aren't I?" she smiled sadly.
"We're here now, making up for lost time and that's all that matters." There was a silence that went on a bit too long for his liking so he filled it with the first thing on his mind, "And anyway, that 'special someone' was just a friend."
"Female, yes?"
He let out a laugh, "Yes.."
"Well then sorry son, but I don't think she was just a friend at all." Harvey frowned in perplexity at his mother's bold statement, "The look on your face when you mentioned her in Boston told me straight away that she was more than that, Harvey." She gave him the stare he has seen from Donna a million times over the years. He knew he would have to give her something back.
"Alright you win." he said in defeat, before briefly fixing himself on his stool.
Lily responded to his words with her own satisfied grin, before sipping her coffee.
"She's been my bestfriend for as long as I can remember. But at the same time she's so much more. She is special."
"So?" she quizzed.
"So, what?"
"So why isn't she here right now being introduced to me as your significant other?"
"It's complicated Mom. I don't even think there's enough time in the world to get into it."
"Stop complicating it then. You always do that. Make it simple. Explain." she demanded with assertiveness in both her voice and posture.
The young boy in him did what his mother was telling him to. He explained it to her in the simplest sentence he could think of, "I'm in love with her." he stated, glancing down afterwards, "Only her. For the last thirteen years."
Lily inhaled deeply. She would be beaming only for the forlornly expression painted on her son's face, "And what's keeping yous apart, Harvey?" she asked.
"Me.." he sighed, "just me and my damn fear."
Lily had never had to see a lovesick Harvey before because she hadn't been around in his life since he was a teenager. It really hit her then how much her behaviour and lies during his childhood affected him and still have a hold on him to this day, "You're afraid you'll hurt her aren't you? Or lose her.. Because of your upbringing.. and what you had to witness as a child. Because of me." she whispered toward the end.
"I can't keep using that as an excuse Mom. I'm a grown ass man now. I should know that I can give her what she needs. And I tried to tell her everything, I did. But it got intense and I bottled up, again. And I had to watch her walk out of my life. Well, my personal life at least."
She furrowed her brows at him in confusion.
"She works at the firm Mom. I have to see her every day."
"Harvey.. how much does this woman mean to you?"
"Let me put it this way.. if she weren't in my life, I wouldn't be sat here talking to you right now. I'd still be holding on to all that anger and resentment. Probably for the rest of my life."
"Well, did you tell her that you are in love with her? That can make all the difference you know? Because it seems after all these years of her knowing you, and observing you, that she would have more reason than anyone to doubt that you are."
He couldn't respond. It was all too true.
"She needs to hear it, Harvey. Go see her?" Lily was eager to see her son happy, especially since she felt it was her fault he couldn't make things work with the woman he loved.
Harvey couldn't help but let out a light-hearted chuckle at the irony, "That's almost exactly what she said to me about seeing you."
"Hmm, I think I would like this woman. A lot. I must thank her."
"Okay. Hold your horses. This weekend was meant for you and I, to catch up and so you could see what my life was like. Lets not get ahead of ourselves." he laughed, knowing he would really only love for his mother to meet Donna.
"Well does that mean I'll get to see the firm then?"
"If you want."
Lily was eager to see her son's workplace of course, especially seeing as he had the family name stamped on it, but she was already inwardly thinking of sussing out who this 'special someone' was whilst she was there.
…
As morning rolled into late afternoon, Harvey had taken his mother to lunch where they talked about everything and anything. On the way out of the restaurant Lily filled him in some more on Marcus and the kids, both laughing at how cheeky his youngest was getting.
"Good. I hope that'll take Marcus down a peg or two." Harvey grinned as they strolled back to Ray's car.
Lily couldn't help but wonder if Harvey ever thought about starting a family of his own. She didn't bring it up however, they had had enough heavy talk that morning, she wanted to keep him in good spirit. And besides, she knew she would have to meet this special woman in his life before she did some more digging of her own.
They both hopped into the warm Lexus, their bodies shivering in protest of New York's bitter cold air.
"Where to, Harvey?" Ray called out.
"Specter Litt." Lily answered for him.
Harvey gave her a questionable glance, and nodded to Ray.
"It's about time I see that fancy office of yours don't you think?" she said with an innocent smile.
Straight away Harvey wondered if Donna would be there. It was a Saturday so it wasn't always a sure bet who would be in, and at what times. They often worked weekends but now that they weren't as close, and with her new position as COO, he was never completely confident that she would be there anymore. He hated that. However, he loved the idea of her meeting his mother. He didn't really think into what that meant but it warmed his thoughts and that was enough. For now.
…
The unlikely pairing arrived at Specter Litt five minutes later. Lily noticed her son's slight unease in the elevator. He was anxious and she didn't need to ask why.
The doors pinged open on the 50th floor and Harvey gestured her out with his left hand, in a very gentlemanly manner. As they made the turn for his office he looked at hers before his own. It was empty. He was somewhat disheartened at the sight. They made their way into his office and he offered his mother a drink out of habit. She politely declined. Instead she looked around the room, just like she had when she arrived at his apartment that morning.
"Again. Very impressed, Harvey." she stated proudly.
He looked around with her this time. This, he was proud of. Something he had worked so hard for.
Her eyes landed on the more sentimental items in his office. The records, the record player and then the painting. Well, an oversized picture of her and Harvey with the painting. He looked to his mother, noticing how surprised and happy she was that he had a piece of her there with him, in his place of work. He was about to comment on it when he got a call from Louis, shaking them both from their thoughts.
"I'm actually at the firm right now, I'll be there in two minutes." Harvey said as he hung up.
"Urgent work stuff?" she asked with a smile.
"Yeah, Louis needs my signature on a-"
"You don't need to bore me with the lawyer talk I'll be alright on my own for awhile." she assured him.
"Good, he was gonna come to me but I said I'd save you the trouble of meeting Louis today." he joked, "I'll be right back."
Lily turned back to the picture on the wall as he walked out. It was the definition of bittersweet. The way Harvey was looking up at her whilst she was painting. So much adoration in his little angelic face. And yet, she put him through hell by forcing him to lie to his father about her affair all those years.
She didn't know how long she had actually been standing there, just staring at it. The only thing pulling her attention away from the picture being a forced cough in the doorway.
"A-hem." Donna muttered, pretending to clear her throat so the woman would turn to face her fully.
Lily spun around and smiled brightly at the stranger. Donna needed only take one look at her to know who she was. She wore nice casual clothes, so definitely not a client, and anyway, she had his soulful eyes, "Oh my god.. you must be Lily." she beamed, remaining just inside the doorway for now.
Lily looked at the striking redhead, impressed at her guessing ability.
"Harvey mentioned you were coming to the City this weekend, and then I walk by his office and see a woman lovingly gazing at that picture. I mean it has to be you." she grinned, walking towards her now, outstretching her right arm, "I'm Donna." she finished.
Lily recognised the name. Probably Marcus bringing it up in casual conversation back home from time to time. Straight away she wondered if this could be the 'special someone'. One look at Donna and she could see why Harvey would be in love with her. She was stunning. And friendly. And quick-witted.
"Nice to meet you, Donna. Yes, I'm Lily." she chuckled, shaking hands with the woman before her.
"You have no idea how nice it is to meet you.. finally!" Donna replied, lowering her voice and quirking her brow.
"Harvey hasn't exactly wanted to show me off much has he? Not that I blame him."
The pair shared a knowing gaze, before Donna brightened her smile again and looked towards the large canvas on the wall, "Well, things have changed now haven't they." she said warmly, hinting at Harvey's new found interest in repairing the damaged relationship he and his mother have shared.
Lily was almost certain that Donna was who she thought she was. She had that ora about her. Even without that much words, she still seemed to show how well she knew Harvey. She decided to plant some of her investigating seeds to see if they would grow, letting her know if she was on the right track. She kept her body facing the painting, as did Donna, and turned her head to her son's colleague.
"Yes. Harvey tells me that I have "someone special" to owe for that. I hope I get to meet her, I must thank her." she said in a tone implying that she knew this certain someone was Donna.
Donna couldn't control her heart then as it seemed to be skipping inside her chest. The thought of Harvey referring to her as 'someone special' in his life, to his mother of all people, melted her heart ..and her brain. She kept her composure though, and turned her warm gaze to Lily, "I'm sure she wouldn't need it. Seeing you here, with Harvey, would be thanks enough."
If that wasn't enough to confirm to Lily that she had just met the woman her son is secretly, not-so-secretly in love with, Harvey's own face was. She caught him out of the corner of her eye before Donna did, standing in the glass frame, a huge smirk on his face that he couldn't even try to hide. His eyes planted firmly on Donna as she had her back to him still proudly looking at his picture.
"Well, isn't this a sight for sore eyes?" he teased, causing Donna to jump ever so slightly, only Lily noticed.
"My two favourite women finally in the one room." He made sure to use a tone that implied he was joking, it would be too awkward to say it in a serious manner, what with him barely seeing his mother over the years and his current sticky relationship with Donna. But it wasn't a lie, they were his favourites.
Donna caught her breath quickly as her eyes lit up once they met his. Again, only Lily noticed. Any shadow of a doubt the older woman had was gone now, the chemistry these two shared even without yet conversing properly was almost intoxicating.
"And it could have happened long ago if you weren't so stubborn!" Donna joked back, knowing he would see the non-seriousness in it.
"I second that." Lily said, sending a cheeky glance to Donna.
"Okay, I leave for five minutes and already you two have plotted to gang up against me?" he retorted in mock annoyance.
Harvey looked to his mother then, dying to see her reaction to Donna being there. She raised her brows at him, letting him know she knew exactly who Donna was. He bowed his head down as he tried to hide a creeping smile.
"Oh don't worry Harvey, you got here just in time. We were just about to discuss your grunge phase." Donna played with him, knowing full well he did not have a grunge phase.
Lily let out a sweet laugh, impressed at Donna entirely.
"Now that was one phase I never went through!" Harvey stated, lowering his gaze at her, feeling the need to set that record straight, causing the women to giggle.
"Well it was great to meet you Lily. Really." Donna beamed, turning to face her, "I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay, and don't be a stranger now."
"I think we'll be seeing a lot more of each other somehow." Lily responded, causing the other two to guess what she meant.
Donna nodded feeling slightly awkward and began making her way out the door, passing Harvey. Lily looked at her son, noticing how he clearly didn't want her to leave just yet. It was so obvious to her how much he was enjoying having them all together like this.
"Donna?" she called out, causing her to turn back, "I'm sure you're busy right now, but how about the three of us go for dinner tonight? I feel like we have lots more to discuss."
Donna tried her best to mask the concern at the idea. Her and Harvey were desperately trying to make it work as colleagues, going to dinner with him and his mother seemed to be crossing the line. But even though she wouldn't admit it to herself, she did in fact want to cross the line again, especially after the date she had with Mark and the feelings he forced her to shine a light on. She was well aware that her and Harvey had much to discuss in terms of their relationship, she was just enjoying the warmer water they were in at the moment, not knowing how long it would last. She couldn't help but notice Harvey's hopeful glance in her direction. She looked back and forth between them both.
"If it's alright with you, Harvey, I would love to." she smiled at him, slightly bashful and already half regretting her answer.
"Sounds perfect to me." he replied with a long, soft smile, one Lily hadn't seen until now, "I'll arrange something soon and let you know." he nodded to her.
His mother stood there as the two broke their ogling gaze and Donna left for her own office. She looked at the ground with a huge grin on her face and then to Harvey.
"Don't even start." he warned lightly.
She held her hands up at her shoulders, "I didn't say anything."
"You didn't have to, mother."
"Alright. Anyway we have dinner reservations to make!" she said chirpily, making her way toward him.
"Already have a place in mind, I'll sort it."
Harvey was thinking of Del Posto, the restaurant he and Donna always eat at for their 'work anniversary'. It was a special place for him, so it seemed fitting.
…
It was 9 o'clock now and Harvey and Lily were waiting in the restaurant for Donna to arrive. They had only been there ten minutes but Harvey was already eyeing up the doorway every time someone new walked in. He was unable to mask the pure disappointment painted across his features whenever it wasn't her.
"Staring at the door won't make her magically appear you know? She'll be here soon." An amused Lily commented.
Harvey furrowed his brows at his mother and shuffled in his chair. He had to reserve a larger table this time around seeing as it wouldn't just be him and Donna like it usually was. He managed to book a nice intimate corner table for the trio, "I don't know what you're talking about." he smirked, like a love-struck teenager.
"Don't give me that. You think I'm blind? I know exactly who Donna is mister.."
"Oh yeah? And who exactly is Donna then?" Harvey knew her answer to that before he even asked it.
"Someone Special, of course." she grinned in a lower tone.
Harvey shook his head and pressed his lips together, playing with the napkin in front of him. He let the subtle jazz music in the background engulf the silence between them.
"I knew it the second I met her, son. And then I knew it again when I saw how you looked at her. And yet again when she looked at you." Lily had adopted a more serious expression now, "What exactly is keeping yous apart? I know you said it's you Harvey, but I think a strong woman like that wouldn't let you push her away.. so?"
"She's seeing someone." Harvey muttered in disgust, still looking down at the table as he slouched back against the chair.
"Oh. Harvey I'm so sorry. Is it serious?"
"That doesn't matter, Mom. She chose him. I have to let her try and be happy. Now I've had enough of this topic."
"But it does matter."
Harvey was becoming agitated now and about to snap back when he saw her entering from the other side of the large room. Her molten locks seeping out over her long black coat. His features softened at the sight of her, causing his mother to look behind, towards Donna. She was looking around the dimly lit restaurant when Harvey rose his hand in the air lightly to usher her over. She spotted him and a toothy grin captured her face. As she was walking over Harvey rose from his own chair to pull out Donna's, making Lily smile.
"Harvey, you're quite the gentleman tonight. Is this just because your mother's here? Tryna look well-behaved?" Donna mocked as she gave Lily a quick hug.
"Just enjoy it while it lasts." his mother chuckled as they broke their embrace.
"I'm always a gentleman and you know it, Donna." he remarked as she sat down and removed her coat.
Harvey couldn't help but take her all in as he went to sit back down. She had changed into a deep maroon lacy dress with short sleeves and a long exposed V-neck. He never ceased to be amazed at how good she always looked.
"Donna, you look amazing." Lily exclaimed, eyeing her up and down, "Doesn't she Harvey?"
Donna looked down and chuckled at Lily, not one bit clueless as to what she was trying to do, "Absolutely beautiful. As always." Harvey said warmly and casually, not wanting it to sound like a big deal, even though he meant every word.
The redhead stiffened at his response for a second before recovering, "Forever the charmer." she said rolling her eyes at Lily jokingly.
"Oh I don't know about that.. I never heard him call anyone beautiful growing up. He was always too cool and serious for that." Lily countered with a devilish gleam in her eye.
"Alright Mom.. Now are we actually gonna eat tonight or just take the piss out of me?" Harvey interrupted, with a nervous laughter as he ushered the waiter over.
"Usually food is number one, but I'm kind of enjoying the latter.." Donna teased, glancing toward Lily.
What have I gotten myself into, Harvey thought as the three of them settled into their evening together.
…
The trio had just finished their mains when Harvey began looking uncomfortable. He desperately needed to use the bathroom, but he had anxiety about leaving the two women together for even a brief moment. God knows what they would discuss, especially with his mother being in full on cupid mode.
"You okay there, Harvey?" Donna asked with a giggle, looking up from her plate as she played with the leftovers with her fork.
"Fine." he murmured.
"You can leave us together you know? We won't get up to too much while you're gone. We may however, share some embarrassing stories about you." she winked, placing some fallen honey strands back behind her ear.
"I'm sure I have some old photos that I had Marcus put on my phone, you'd love them Donna." added Lily, playing along.
Harvey angled his head and rolled his eyes, his lower lip dropping in dissatisfaction at the pair.
"Harvey go! Before I start with the prostate jokes!" Donna quipped.
"Please, Mike's bad enough." He threw his napkin onto his plate and jumped up, "I'll be right back." he stated in a deep tone, giving Lily a warning look that she pretended not to notice.
The two women shared a chuckle as he rushed off into the distance.
A waiter came over to clear the table then. Lily leaned toward Donna when he left, "Okay so I'm guessing we have less than five minutes. So spill."
"Spill on what?" Donna laughed nervously.
"You and my son." she responded with a telling smile.
"Lily.."
"Don't try and deny it, I may be getting old but I still have perfect vision you know. And hearing for that matter!" she insisted.
"Look, Harvey and I are just getting back on good terms after a few spanners got thrown in the works.."
"What spanners?"
Donna was impressed at how assertive and relentless Lily was on the matter, "We blurred the lines a bit.. and it ruined our friendship. So now we're just colleagues. Or 'work friends' I don't know.." Donna trailed off, staring at her glass of wine as she swished it around in circles, before taking a large sip.
"So why are you here tonight then?" Lily asked bluntly, but warmly.
Donna raised her brows, creasing her forehead in shock at the question, "Because you asked me and I know how important you are to Harvey, especially now that he's fixing things with you."
"Because you're in love with him?" Lily asked with intent, more of a statement than a question.
"What?" Donna exhaled, completely taken aback, her eyes blinking uncontrollably.
"You're here because you're in love with him." reiterated the older woman.
"Lily. I respect you, a lot. But you've seen us together for all of two minutes. You can't possibly believe that I'm in love with him aft-"
"Maybe not." she cut in, "But I can say that he is very much in love with you and yous would be foolish to let whatever yous have go over some 'blurred lines'! I mean, you have to blur the lines for something to start in the first place?" Lily said trying to stay composed knowing how invested she was becoming in her son's happiness.
Donna didn't know how to respond. One of the few times that has happened to her in her life.
"The person you're seeing? Do you love him more than you love my son?"
She looked Lily right in the eye then, confusion written all over her face, "Harvey told you I was seeing someone?"
"Yes, he did."
That made Donna feel so many of the things she was desperately trying to keep at bay for now. The fact that Harvey had brought up that she was seeing someone, to his mother, forced so many questions to the front of her mind.
"Well I'm not ..anymore." Donna whispered.
"So why aren't yous two ironing things out then?"
Donna was becoming increasingly fed up, as much as she genuinely liked Lily, now there was an added person sticking their nose in to comment on her intricate relationship with Harvey God Damn Specter, "Because Lily, it's not that simple. He chose to commit to another woman over me and then I tried to show him how I felt and he shot me down. Then he tried to show me how he felt, but it was too little too late."
Donna looked up at a baffled Lily. It took her all of two seconds to realise why her face was so stunned, "You didn't know about Paula, did you?" she asked sheepishly, inwardly cursing herself.
"That's the first time I've even heard her name." Lily answered, pressing her lips together.
"I'm an idiot. Please don't tell Harvey I told you, he'll probably want to tell you himself." she pleaded lightly before biting the inside of her lip.
"I don't think he wants to tell me at all." laughed Lily, "But that should tell you a lot."
"What do you mean?"
"Well you're clearly pissed that he chose this woman over you, but he hasn't even mentioned her to his family. I mean, I'm assuming they broke up?"
"Yeah.. they did." Donna responded.
"Well, I know he mentions you to Marcus quite a bit.." Lily could see Harvey closing in on them from her view of the bathrooms, "and now that I've met you, I know that you're his 'someone special' that convinced him to come see me." she finished in a near whisper.
"So, how much shit did yous talk about me while I was gone?" Harvey quizzed, taking his seat.
Donna was staring at the table with her slightly bulging eyes and mouth agape, still absorbing Lily's last words, and what they actually meant. She was brought back to the present when Harvey forced a cough whilst staring at her, slightly concerned, "What? Did she show you my bad hair cuts throughout the years? 'Cause they were not my fault, I was a kid and she was not a qualified barber!" he joked, desperate to lighten the atmosphere.
She looked up at him with a forced smile and shook her head, "No, we just talked about the firm mostly."
Harvey caught the guilty expression his mother held and gave her an angered look. He looked back to Donna who was taking a drink now and his face softened again.
"I'm not feeling too well you guys, must have been the shrimp! I think I'm gonna take a cab home."
Donna inhaled deeply, all too tempted to roll her eyes. Subtle, Lily. Very subtle.
Harvey wasn't convinced either, "What about dessert?"
"Yous can share mine." Lily offered with a cheeky glint in her eye.
She gathered her bag and gave Donna a warm, meaningful hug, "If I don't see you again before I leave, I wish you all the happiness, Donna."
"Thanks Lily, you too." Donna smiled back, still slightly shaken as she went to take another drink.
"I've got the spare key, Harvey. I won't wait up.." she said before walking away, all too pleased with herself.
Donna almost spat out her wine, "Oh my god, could she be anymore obvious?" she chuckled, her now blushed cheeks pushing upwards with her growing smile.
Harvey just grinned in response and they both looked at each other. The events of the last week hitting them both like a truck.
Kissing. Confessions. Falling out. Kissing again. More confessions. Making up. Hand holding. Dinner. And now an intervening mother.
"It's sweet though." she added.
"That's one word for it." he countered, "I'm glad you got to meet her Donna."
"Me too." she beamed, "I'm glad you finally invited her to your home!"
He looked at her again, just taking it all in. Taking her in. Not knowing if he'd ever get to have another dinner with her like this again. Part of him knew she only agreed because his mother being in town was such a monumental event for him.
"Are you happy?" His question completely catching her off guard.
"Why do you ask?" Her eyes locked on his.
"Just making sure is all." She quirked her brow at him, not buying his response. He shuffled in his chair before coming clean, "Alright, it's just last night, after your date you seemed.. I don't know.. not happy? I know you didn't wanna talk about it so I didn't persist." He watched her face closely, awaiting a response.
She took in a deep breath, causing her chest to rise quite a bit. She wasn't even aware that she was tapping the edge of the table with her dark red fingernails, "Things didn't work out.. with Mark and I." she admitted, looking back at him when she finished.
He made sure to keep his face as straight as possible. He didn't want any delight escaping. It made him feel awful, he genuinely wanted her to be happy, but it wasn't as if Mark was the love of her life and if he was quite honest, she didn't seem all that bothered by it now, "I'm sorry to hear that Donna." he said in a raspy voice.
"Are you?" she smiled at him cautiously, with her left brow raised higher than the right.
"Well I want you to be happy. I always have."
"Just not with anyone that isn't you? Or anyone that is you for that matter.." She almost spat the words out of her mouth as if they were burning her tongue. Lily's own words moments earlier had inspired her latest verbal outburst. Shocking them both equally. She looked at him with pain in her earthy brown eyes for the first time that night.
"I thought I was clear that night you called to mine, Donna." he defended in a more solemn tone.
"Drunk is what you were that night, Harvey. And you weren't clear at all." she stated somewhat harshly, remembering his inability to tell her exactly how he felt.
Harvey cocked his head slightly, "And kissing you wasn't clear?"
"Not when I could literally taste the whiskey off your breath!" she exhaled, almost too loudly.
He knew she was right and he gave her a sorrowful look before exhaling deeply himself, "I'm sorry Donna.. for being drunk, I am. But I'm not apologising for kissing you. Because I am not the slightest bit sorry about that."
The tension between them was almost suffocating, the weight of it nearly burying them.
"Well that makes one of us."
"So you regret kissing me?" He sat up even straighter, brows crossed in defense.
"Yes, Harvey! Look at the mess we're in. It got us nowhere!" she whispered, loudly.
"How can you think that? My relationship ended because of where this got us!"
"So you do blame me for that then?" she retorted, shaking her head.
"No! What I mean is, it was worth it if it got me to stop denying what we have."
"Which is what exactly?" She needed him to say it.
"Something a hell of a lot more than just a friendship and you know it. Not that we even have that anymore.. this 'work friends' shit is driving me crazy!" he huffed.
It was surprisingly relieving for them both to be discussing the elephant in the room after all the niceties over the last few days.
Donna paused, before inhaling as much air as her lungs could capture, "I almost slept with Mark.."
Harvey looked confused at the timeliness of her confession before she continued.
"It was after you told me about you and Paula and then I saw her at work.. it was too much. He was married Harvey.. and I willingly went to his hotel, knocked on his door and I would have went in only for a text from Rachel made me change my mind.." she said angrily at herself.
He looked at her stunned, yet just wanting to grab hold of her, to comfort her.
"Still like what you see?" Her sparkling eyes met his again.
"Donna.." His pitiful gaze was too much for her.
Her eyes began to well up as she stared out the nearest window, feeling the need to escape.
"I can see what you're doing. Trying to make me see you differently. So I won't want you. It's not gonna work." he said with determination, "Even if you had of slept with him.. I could never judge you for it Donna, for anything." Harvey meant every word, no matter how much he despised infidelity, Donna was his weakness, his exception to the rule, to every rule, even her rule.
He wasn't wrong, part of her was pushing him away, but mostly she just wanted him to know what was eating at her, "I should go, before too much is said and we're in yet another awkward position at work afterwards." Donna rose from her chair with regret and collected her coat and bag, "Good night Harvey, I'll see you Monday." she smiled sadly, partially testing him, to see if he would fight for her.
There it was again. That sinking feeling in his stomach. Pulling him down when he should be getting up to chase after her.
But what he wanted to tell her, what he needed to tell her.. it was so much easier to say in his head.
I'm in love with you, Donna.
.
.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll have to extend it into a part 2! I know he's taking forever to say it but I think that would be so true to his character because once those words are out of his mouth there's no going back. And also how hard would it be to say that to your bestfriend? Just a few chapters left so it's coming! Please let me know what you think! :) x