A/N - THANK YOU so much again for the reviews and support for last chapter. I am really getting in to this story now. I do have a plan for it, but I would LOVE to hear anyone's ideas, suggestions for what they would like to see happen.
Okay, this chapter is all about our fav, Daryl, enjoy :)
(I confess, I haven't done a final sweep for any errors, as wanted to get this chap out while I had the chance and still haven't sorted out a beta!)
Daryl sped down the deserted highway, the wind whipping through his hair as he picked up speed. The road ahead was long and he had no idea where he was headed. But right now it didn't matter.
At that moment all that mattered to Daryl was getting away, losing himself completely in the moment.
Nothing felt quite like riding a motorcycle to him. The thrill of being at one with a two wheeled machine, the risks involved often heightening the enjoyment for him. It had been a long time since he had felt this free.
Racing on, he thought about what could happen if he never turned back. It had been a relief to find some sort of civilisation again, but really and truly did he fit in there?
Before the turn he had been nothing but some redneck asshole, white trash despised by most of society. Why should that be any different once he was no longer needed for his hunting, fighting and survival skills? What use would he be to anyone then? He thought, visualising his future now.
His eyes straight ahead he rode further and further away from where he had come from.
Riding out alone in the middle of no-where, reminded Daryl a little of his life before the outbreak. Back in those days in a completely different way, there had been times so awful that the only way he could escape was to take off on his own out in to the unknown for a ride, often for days at a time. Not that anyone would have noticed much back then. But it had always been a good way for Daryl to clear his head, to get some perspective on what really mattered, on where he was going.
But he'd slowly come to realize that when he ran, he was only running from himself.
The person he had been before the turn was gone. The angry introverted guy that used to mindlessly follow his older brother around, hadn't been a true reflection of who he really was, Daryl could see that now. His true self having slowly been emerging ever since he had had hooked up with his new family.
Daryl's life right now couldn't be more different to his old life. He was more than aware that his absence these days would be very much noticed if he took off for a while. He had somehow in this new crazy world, managed to find people that cared about him, loved him even, a place where up until now he had fit. But that didn't stop him from still needing his own space occasionally when things got too much.
Back at the very start of the outbreak he had gone off on hunting trips to try and process just what the hell was happening to the world. Hunting was what he was good at it, it gave him a purpose.
Daryl had needed to get away right now for a whole host of reasons, he thought, skidding around a corner throwing up dust.
He knew he had been out of line to Beth; she hadn't deserved the harsh way he had lashed out at her, a lump forming in his throat as he replayed their last conversation. His heart sinking a little, as he remembered the hurt look on her face as she had walked away from him earlier that day. A hurt that he knew he had caused. He could tell that she still kept herself going by trying to look for the good in things and the last thing he wanted to do was to knock that out of her. He also knew he needed to make things right with her again, and he would work on that.
But Daryl couldn't think about Beth for the moment, he had other things on his mind.
He was angry, so angry at the world again, angrier than he'd been in quite a while. Baby Judith might not be his actual flesh and blood, but he loved her like she was. He still remembered so vividly the day she had been born, the way he had felt when he had first laid eyes on her minutes after she had arrived in to the world. He had never seen a baby so young before, so innocent, precious and tiny, so peaceful. And he'd vowed then to do everything in his power to make sure she made it, to protect her and give her a shot at life. He'd taken it upon himself to go out on a desperate mission to find the baby formula so urgently needed to keep her alive, knowing that he'd die before he came back without it. He'd saved her back then and she was all their baby now.
The little girl may have entered their world in the most horrific circumstances after losing Lori, her mother. But as she grew they couldn't have asked for more of a bright shining light than Judith Grimes the lil asskicker. She signified a real hope for them all, a reason to keep pressing on, for her, for the future.
That sweet little baby girl hadn't deserved what had happened to her with that damn dog, Daryl thought angrily. He wasn't a doctor, but he had observed first hand the way the savage beast had mauled her tiny face, and he had seen enough dog bites in his time to know Judith would be lucky to keep her eye as a result, even luckier for her vision to remain intact, surviving in the current twisted dark world with that kind of handicap would be tough, real tough, he thought.
They may have a doctor back at the safe zone, but Daryl wasn't stupid, he knew the score. What he had meant by his little outburst at Beth earlier, even if he hadn't worded it in the best way, was that having a doctor alone was no guarantee that Judith would come out of this okay. That was just the way the world worked now; there were no big hospitals anymore, no miracle drugs and teams of skilled medical people to jump to your rescue. If you got sick, you were pretty much screwed.
The thought of baby Judith being harmed in any way made Daryl sick to the bottom of his stomach. He wished he could share in Beth's optimism, but he knew only too well how cruel the universe could be.
Racing on even more, the speedometer creeping up and up, the machine visibly shook as Daryl pushed it to its limits, his hands gripping the handle bars tightly, eyes fixed fiercely on the long empty stretch of road ahead of him. The unknown.
He thought back to the horror he had felt when he had first heard the yells coming from Carl.
Daryl knew it had been bad even before witnessing first hand the wild beast's jaws tightly clamping down on to the helpless little body of Carl's baby sister. Daryl would never forget the look on the little girl's face, and he thought how he should have been quicker, he should have moved faster, had his crossbow closer, if he'd only managed to get it a few seconds earlier, the damage could have been significantly less, things could be different now. But he'd been off his game, too engrossed in his conversation with Beth, his guard for danger had been down, he'd known Judith had been out there with Carl, but he just hadn't been paying enough attention.
They'd spent her entire life successfully protecting her from walker bites only to let her get bit and risk potentially losing her to a damn stray dog.
The pain of losing Judith would be just too much for Daryl, for all of them, he knew that. The pain of losing Sophia still haunted him. The feeling of complete and utter helplessness that had drowned him when he had first seen Carol's daughter coming out of that damn barn. He hadn't been able to find her, to save her. And he hadn't been quick enough to save Judith either.
But Judith wasn't dead, she hadn't turned. This was different. Judith still had a chance. He had to cling on to that.
As much as Daryl wasn't a fan of Ryan, he had to admit he had done a great thing in saving Judith's life the other day. He wasn't a bad person. He'd probably done far more good in his lifetime then Daryl could ever dream of, he thought, reflecting on all the bad stuff he'd done with Merle over his lifetime. Helping people and saving people's lives hadn't really come in to it, not even close. Not until...
Snapping back in to reality, Daryl suddenly came to a crashing halt.
He'd found a sweet spot, something worth stopping for.
The view was stunning, the air so clear, he could see for miles. There wasn't a soul around, just beautiful nature.
Slowly, he climbed off his bike and sank down on to the ground, exhaling, placing his hands behind his head as he looked out some more. It was so quiet, so peaceful.
He found his mind wandering to Beth again.
He couldn't put in to words how it felt to have her back, to know she was safe. But she seemed to have changed, to have grown up so quickly, she didn't seem so much of a young girl anymore. Which both confused and excited him. In some respects, he could no longer just brush her off as too young to think about in that way anymore, thoughts he'd always tried to keep buried even from himself. Any feelings he might have experienced for her, even just tiny flutters he'd never properly understand, now being no different, his feelings towards her being so confusing to him still. He sensed in a way that she wanted to get closer to him now after their time alone together. But could he really risk getting too close to her?
Daryl had also seen the way Ryan looked at her. Ryan was closer to her age and despite his arrogance Ryan was a decent guy he could look after her, Daryl felt sure of that, and she should be with him he thought to himself. That was right.
But however much his head tried to tell him that, he couldn't quite figure out why his heart was telling him something different.
He drew in another long deep breath, glancing up at the sky, it would be getting dark soon, and he had just enough fuel to make it back to camp. He didn't belong out here on his own, he belonged back there with his people, he knew that.
He climbed back on to the motorcycle revving the engine turning it around, and a large cloud of dust quickly formed as he sped off in to the distance back the way he had come from…
A/N- Thanks for reading, would love to hear your thoughts.