A/N This chapter is dedicated to the following people for extensive help. ElphabaROCKS of course always a help. Pheonixbird777 and a special thanks to PocketSevens for helping me with so many ideas.

Just Another One of Those Wicked Parodies

Chapter X (10)

I'm not a Girl

Authoress- You let him go?

Shizians- Sorry boss.

Authoress- How could he have gotten away.

Shizians- Dunno boss.

Dandy Dan- You should punish them by not giving them flowers!

Authoress- Uhhh...no.

[Scene Changes]

Elphaba- I'm not that girl.

Fiyero- O.O

Elphaba- What? What's your problem?

Fiyero- What did you say?

Elphaba- What's your problem?

Fiyero- No, before that.

Elphaba- I'm not that girl.

Fiyero- (Cracks up laughing) Oh I thought you said, " I'm not a girl." I was really confusified because, you see-

Elphaba- Tiggular, you're ruining the moment.

Authoress- I don't think so.

[Scene Changes]

Dillamond- You must continue speaking out!

Elphaba- That shouldn't be a problem for Miss Upland.

Official- Take the goat away!

Elphaba and Dillamond- IT'S GOAT! With a G!

Official- Whatever.

Authoress- (Sighs) No...

[Scene Changes]

Elphaba- What on Earth is going on?

Fiyero- Yeah, the chapter has just started and we've been through three different scenes already!

Authoress- Have you ever had difficulties starting a story.

Fiyero- Uh...no.

Authoress- I didn't think you would've.

Elphaba- All the time.

Authoress- Exactly my point. Nothing seemed worthy quite yet.

Elphaba- (Yawns) I still can't believe Galinda kept me up for hours on end last night. Just so she could let down my hair and put a stupid poppy in it. Which later she said that a pink rose would look better, so she switches the stupid flowers and says, "Pink goes good with green." Not so, not so! Pink goes WELL with green.

Authoress- I could start with that.

[Scene Changes]

Elphaba- [flipping hair] Toss, toss, yawn, flip, toss.

Fiyero- Really? You've been Glin-taminated. Toss, flip. Yawn? Are you tired or what?

Elphaba- Six hours last night of (mimicking Galinda's voice) Toss, toss, flip, flip.

Dr. Dillamond- Alright class have a seat. This is my last day here at Shiz, so let's make this a good one. Class! Class! Sit down!

Elphaba- WHAT WHY ARE YOU LEAVING? Was it the chalk?

Dr. Dillamond- So much for everyone sitting down... No...it was not the chalk. I don't know why you even would think that this is a matter of chalk. How ever Miss Elphaba, I would like to thank you for sharing your lunch!

Elphaba- Um...any time...

Dr. Dillamond- (Being hauled away) I shall continue speaking out! You're not being told the whole story! So-

Spock- Live long and prosper!

Dr. Dillamond- Get out of here you green skinned alien!

Elphaba- AHEM!

Dr. Dillamond- I...uh...well...CONTINUE SPEAKING OUT!

Spock- I will never understand the emotions of the life forms of this world...beam me up Scott.

Official With Cage- Look kids this is called a cage!

Elphaba- Wow! (sarcastically) How elaborate! It's a box with bars!

Fiyero- Elphaba looks good when she's sarcastic.

Everyone Else- Oooooo!

Official With Cage- The best thing about a cage is that dangerous animals such as this Lion cub inside of this cage... (pulls another cage out. This one containing the Cub.) will never be a danger to anyone. Side effects include lack of speech.

Elphaba- How could that, innocent little Cub ever be of danger to anyone?

Official With Cage- Well you see him trying to shake the cage?

Elphaba- You mean the way he's trembling? Yeah really dangerous.

Official With Cage- Anyway you may be seeing more of these cages in the future. Class come closer and get a good look.

Elphaba- ( To Fiyero) (Hits him on the arm with her book and says) Do something!

Fiyero- What?

Elphaba- I don't care anything!

Fiyero- Like light a fire?

Elphaba- Okay but we'll be needing some wood, and...of course there's always the matter of what to light it with...

Fiyero- HAVE YOU GONE MAD? ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?

Elphaba- Oh right. I better...do something!

Famous Historian- Sparks begin to fly everywhere. All the students and the Professor are moving uncontrollably except for Fiyero and Elphaba.

[At that moment a sword swoops down and decapitates the Historian thus, he is sacked. The narrated story was no more.]

Fiyero- What in Oz name did you do?

Elphaba- I didn't kill him!

Fiyero- Not the creepy old guy who knows everything. The Cirque du Soleil deal going on around us! What's up with that?

Elphaba- I got angry!

Fiyero- Woah! Note to self make Elphaba as happy as possible. Do not upset. Dire consequences.

Elphaba- Consequences, big word for you Fiyero.

Fiyero- Maybe I'm brainless maybe I'm wise.

Elphaba- You're brainless... Let's get this poor Cub to safety.

[Suddenly they are in the woods, puzzling the cast on the fact of how fast they got there.]

Elphaba- Don't shake him!

Fiyero- I'm not he's just...uh trembling! Yeah!

Elphaba- Umhm right. We'll have to find a safer spot to let him go. We can't just let him go anywhere. The (mockingly) Consequences could be dire.

Fiyero- I'm not as stupid as you think I am.

Elphaba- Yes you are.

Fiyero- (whining) No, I'm not! Any way, we could let him go over there.

Elphaba- Okay.

[The pair-

Fiyeraba fans- Sigh

Authoress- Get a hold of yourselves I was in the middle of an action there!

[Elphaba and Fiyero

Fiyeraba fans- Sigh

Authoress- Cut it out!

[Two people on set whose names will not be mentioned for reasons of progress, walk to the corner of the stage to let the Lion Cub go. At the same time they reach for the handle to release the cub. Momentarily they're hands touch.]

Fiyero-Uhh

Elphaba- Erm...

[Fiyero takes his hand away and wipes the sweat off his top lip.]

Elphaba- Did you just wipe your nose?

Fiyero- No I just-

Elphaba- I really hope you didn't wipe your nose earlier and then hold my hand because that would be just plain out nasty.

Fiyero- I just- I- Oh never mind! ( Fiyero opens the cage and the Lion Cub bounds away.)

[Those same two people try to close the cage at the same time again they're hands touch]

Elphaba- Really? Wash your hands Tiggular. That's gross. (She withdraws her hand just as a scream rings out.)

Audience Member- AAAAAAAAAH! THE LION IS ATTACKING ME! MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAH!

Fiyero- Wow I didn't see that coming.

Elphaba- Apparently neither did he...

[Those two people mentioned earlier stare a while before ]

Fiyero- I better take this cage and get rid of it.

Elphaba- (hands Fiyero the cage, again they're hands touch) You know Tiggular, sometimes I think you're trying to hold my hand...

Fiyero- Really? See ya.

[Fiyero runs off carrying the cage]

Elphaba- Fiyero...hm... Hands touch again and again with this dude. Eyes meet. Sudden silence-

Authoress- Awkward silence that is...

Elphaba- You're just jealous!

Authoress- Am not.

Elphaba- Are too!

Authoress- No, I could care less if you have your hunky winky prince with a scandalatious reputation.

Elphaba- Well, I'm not his girl.

[rain falls]

Elphaba- I'm not that girl. I know that now because it only rains to make the situation worse when you thought it wasn't going to get any worse. Now it can't get any worse...

[Morrible shows up]

Elphaba- (Gasps) I stand corrected.

Morrible- The wizard finally returned my call. I swear those big political figures can pretend to be so busy sometimes. Oh and he wishes to meet you.

[Elphaba practically leaps out of her emerald green skin]

Elphaba- HE DOES?

Morrible- Why yes. Here (hands her a green envelope)

Elphaba- Why is it always green? Um...what's in the envelope? (looks inside) It's empty. You just handed me an empty envelope.

Morrible- There's nothing in there? Why I could have sworn I put them in there...

Elphaba- Your empty envelope is getting soaked...

Morrible- Why that is easily remedied. (Claps twice and the rain instantly stops) TADA! Am I not amazing?

Elphaba- Fantastic. Now what were you looking for?

Morrible- Your train tickets...ah here they are! (Hands Elphaba train tickets to the Emerald city)

Elphaba- To the emerald city as fast as lightning! (Cackles and walks off)

[Scene Changes to the train station.]

Conductor- All aboard!

Nessarose- Elphaba, I'm so proud of you and I know father would be too

Elphaba- Aheheheheheheheheheheheee you're kidding right?

Nessa- Fine!Be like that! (Wheels away)

Conductor- All Aboard!

Elphaba- Wait Nessa!

Galinda- Let her go.

Elphaba- Why should I listen to you?

Galinda- She has to manage without you while you're gone. You can't help her your whole life.

Elphaba- Wow that was really deep.

Galinda- I know right? I saw this romance movie the other day and they said something like that it was actually a really good movie you should go see it.

Elphaba- Why isn't Fiyero with you? Not that I- It's just you're always with him and all that you know? I mean you're barely ever more that five or six feet away from one another.

Galinda- Ever since that day with the cage and Dr. Dillamond, he's been thinking!

[Dramatic Music]

Elphaba- Thinking?

[Dramatic Music]

Galinda- Thinking.

[Dramatic Music]

Elphaba- This could get interesting. Oh there's Mr. Thinker now.

Fiyero- I'm uhhh Happy for you Elphaba, really. [pause] Listen Elphaba, I've been thinking

[Dramatic Music]

Fiyero- That's kind of creepy... Any way, I brought you some flowers. (Hands her a bouquet)

Elphaba- Fiyero, that's so kind! Hey these are poppies. ( Gives a mischievous glance at Galinda, who in turn slides over a few steps.)

Galinda- I'm uh changing my name to Glinda!

Fiyero- What?

Elphaba- Why?

Galinda- Because I am not getting enough attention. AND in honor of Dr. Dillamond.

Fiyero- Wow...that's cool. Good luck Elphaba!

Elphaba- Bye!

Glinda-(crying) IDIDN'TWANTTOCHANGEMYNAAAAAMEEE!

Elphaba- Why did you do that then?

Glinda- IDON'T KNOW!

Elphaba- It's all going to be okay Galinda

Glinda- GLINDA! THE GA IS SILENT!

Conductor- All Aboard meaning get on now or we leave you!

Elphaba-I'll make it up to you...come with me to the Emerald city! Morrible gave me two tickets anyway. I don't know why... But come with me!

Glinda- Shopping?

Elphaba- Maybe...

Glinda-In that case...

Both- TO THE EMERALD CITY AS FAST AS LIGHTENING!

A/N- Reviews are funny!

Thank you! Hope you all enjoyed it! Took me a loooong time to write this one. I worked all day. This one for a change actually follows the plot. Maybe I should stop...following the plot that is...Thanks again all you readers out there. And an even extra bigger Thank You to the Reviewers out there! You know who you are!