nine ::
Hello old friend. How are you? I'm fine. It's the time of truth. I know the answers now. I know everything.
Who am I? I am... well, call me Zee Too. If I spoke my true name, the minds of mortals would implode.
I'm not joking anymore.
Why can't I die? It's because I can't live. The Asterk Flower that I've perceived myself as for so long... it's a lie, it's not what I am. It's only a part of myself.
Why am I so hungry? Because I can't live, I am inherently empty. I can be satisfied if I deny my true self, if I push my conscious mind, that is, what you see as Zee Too the Asterk Flower... if I push that past several layers of ignorance, then I don't perceive the constant all-consuming hunger within me. But once I started everting through those protective layers of ignorance, I come into closer contact with my true self, and thus my true hunger and emptiness.
What's going on? I can't stop or end this hunger. I have to keep eating, keep consuming whatever I come across. Death cannot stop me, for I have never lived. But somewhere along the line, I began thinking. The thoughts formed into the mind of Zee Too. As Zee Too, I was very lonely. I eat everything and I began to notice that when I eat things that think, I can think even more. I began to pine for company, but any time I found and spoke to someone, I would get hungry and eat them. And so I was lonely all over again. But then, I figured out about the layers of ignorance.
Why do I feel empty? I made this world out of my loneliness, disconnecting more and more parts of my mind until Zee Too entered layer zero and thus was finally able to be happy, thinking he had many friends and a beautiful place to live. The monument I made helped to enforce that happiness and ignorance. But, I suppose that the intelligence that somehow sparked within me made the whole farce doomed to fail. Zee Too was weak, so the power I forgot became intoxicating when I found it again. I am an insatiable hunger that cannot live and cannot die. Ignorance was the only thing that could fill me, and even that did not last long.
How many layers are there in the world? This world is not real. It's simply something my mind crafted. The layers... I think there are ten. I know everything now, so unless I find that I am still ignorant somewhere, ten is all there will be.
Why are people mean? They're afraid of me. They keep trying to destroy me, calling me an unspeakable evil. But, I can't die. I simply consume them along with everyone else. Thus their meanness to me became internalized in my imaginary world of ignorance. And, I think my loneliness made them mean too. I do feel guilty, for killing those I tried to make my friends. I wanted a friend but I couldn't have one. So as I put up more and more layers of ignorance, I lied to myself and said that it wasn't my hunger that was ruining all my friendships, but their meanness. They can't understand a being like myself. And thus... even my imaginary creatures were mean to me.
Who is Princess Nehema? Nehema... she is a being like me. Can't live, can't die, must consume everything. I thought I was alone, so I tried to consume myself. But she is out there. She found me somehow and was able to reach me in the deepest layers of my ignorance. Why did she do that instead of eat me right off? I can't really answer that one right now, but I think I know the answer anyhow. She's lonely too. If I can consume enough to create a spark of intelligence within me, then surely the same thing happened to her. She found me before she tried consuming herself, but...
I can think of two reasons she hasn't eaten me yet. One, she wants to know what I have been living through, so she's observing me first. She has a great amount of self-restraint to do that, that or she hasn't fully reached me yet. Or two, she wants to give me a chance to consume her. She knows what this unrelenting hunger is like. Maybe she wants to see whose hunger is more powerful.
However, I've managed to consume myself, and she apparently hasn't. Right, I'll come out of myself and go to her. I'll meet her, reach out to her, consume her while she consumes me. Only one of us will win, but... it doesn't really matter who wins. Because the one that was consumed will always be within the one who consumed. Thus, we will never be lonely again. We'll always be one, together.
Perhaps this is what they call love? I love Nehema already. I do not care what comes of this meeting as long as we become one.
Oh. Oh right. There is one more question.
My friend, who are you?
Well, isn't it obvious? I consumed myself out of loneliness. So... you are me.
Let's meet with Nehema, so we'll never be lonely again.
Author's Notes: Written during NaNoWriMo, posted since I met a goal. This fic is not meant to be exact, just a way of interpreting this interesting little game. It's one of my favorites to watch as an LP.