I'm Pouring Out

Emerson stood on the edge of the room, waiting for what exactly she wasn't sure. Tom had looked up when she and Hal had entered the room but he hadn't said anything. Hal had taken the seat beside Tom and just stared at Ben, willing him to wake up. For a brief moment, Emerson wondered when Matt and Anne were but she didn't have to think very hard before both eased quietly through the door.

Anne smiled gently over at Emerson who was content to stay by the door. Matt barely spared her a glance before moving to Ben's vacant side and taking his hand in his own. Anne moved over to stand beside Emerson. They both just watched the small family soak up each other's presence.

She knew she was more than welcome over by the rest of the Mason clan. She'd been considered a part of the family before she and Ben even started their…whatever they were. She'd been a part of the family when Ben even hated her. Tom had urged her to pursue Ben. It wasn't like they hated her. It was Emerson who didn't know what to do. She wanted to curl up in the hospital bed with him and hold him until he woke up. She wanted to kiss him and tell him she wanted to be his partner.

It was so trivial to call it "dating" or "boyfriend-girlfriend". The world didn't need "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" anymore. If you wanted to be with someone, you were. Maggie and Hal were partners both in combat and in life. They leaned on each other emotionally, physically and mentally. Tom and Anne were married if you wanted to get technical but all they did was exchange rings. There was no ceremony and no official saying vows and no witnesses. Just the two of them, expressing their love for each other and going from partners to spouses.

Emerson wanted that with Ben. She wanted to tell people that she was his partner, girlfriend, companion, consort, life-partner, lover, whatever he wanted to call her. She wanted to be all those things and more. She wanted everyone to know it.

"You don't have to stand there, Emmy. You can come sit down." She turned watery eyes to Tom Mason who smiled kindly up at her. She shook her head and felt a few tears trail down her cheeks. Tom drew his eyebrows together and stood slowly. "Why not?" Emerson blushed, embarrassed. She didn't want to say out loud, to her chosen life-partner's father, that she would rather lie beside him then sit at his bedside.

Tom must've read something in her expression because his face softened and he clapped Hal on the shoulder. "You can lie down if you'd rather." Hal turned to his father and smiled when he saw how red Emerson was. "We can come back later. Matt." The younger brother startled at his older siblings booming voice.

The conscious Mason boys each smiled at her as they passed. Hal winked. Anne rested a comforting hand on her shoulder and nudged her forward. "Physical contact helps people heal faster, Em. You'll both feel better for it." The woman rubbed her back soothingly before also departing leaving her alone with Ben since before he left.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and slowly inched closer to him. She took in his appearance for the first time. She could see a bandage taped over his left side from the top of his ribs almost to his hip. The second set of gauze was taped just beneath his left pectoral muscle. She assumed that the through and through was on his left side considered that that gauze wrapped around almost the entire length of his left side.

His face was calm for the first time in a while. He was turned slightly away from her and the light shined across his face, planting shadows on the right side of his pillow.

Emerson edged around the foot of the bed and came to a stop on his right side, the mostly bullet wound free side. She crouched down and carefully unlaced her boots, slipping out of them easily. She didn't pull the blanket back. She just lay atop them and curled up against his side. His skin was warm beneath her cheek and she shivered. She was careful to avoid his bullet wound. She didn't want to put any pressure on it and cause him pain. She rested her right hand palm down on his abdomen, the muscle hard beneath her fingers but covered by a smooth layer of soft skin. She felt her fingers absently tracing over the flesh.

She pressed her ear to his chest and listened to him breath, letting it lull her to a state of semi-consciousness. She felt herself drift on a separate plane where nothing could bother her and everything would turn out all right in the end. She let her mind drift to places she hadn't let herself go in a long time. She thought of her mother, her beautiful mother who died during the first wave of attacks. She was reminded of a time when she was younger and she would get sick and her mother would hold her in comb her fingers through her hair and sing.

Emerson felt herself start to hum softly. A steady rhythm of notes streaming from her throat. A soft melody that drifted through the room and settled her into a state of peace. A slow song that brought tears to her eyes, it was so peaceful and tender. She could hear the piano in her head and the smooth tenor of the singer who sang her favorite version.

She opened her eyes and watched her fingers trace random patterns across the exposed skin of Ben's chest. She felt the words pass her lips as tears welled in the corners of her eyes. "You ain't seen nothing like me yet." She whispered her voice cracking. She flattened her palm over his heart and felt its steady beat like a prayer.

"Go to the ends of the earth for you." She tilted her chin up and watched his face. He looked so peaceful. He looked his age beneath the harsh lights of the infirmary. His face was smooth of any wrinkles and he looked relaxed for once. Emerson raised her hand and smoothed her fingers over his cheek, trailing across his jaw and tracing the cupid's bow of his lips. They were slightly chapped and she could see a thin line of blood on his bottom lip.

She sang the last line of the song softly while tracing the cleft of his chin when she felt fingers combing through her hair. She brought her eyes up to his face and watched as he slowly gained consciousness. His eyes clenched shut and she could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed thickly. He blinked several times before his cerulean blues blearily met her chocolate brown eyes.

Her chin trembled slightly before she pushed herself further up the bed and pressed her lips to his. Ben grunted and tangled his fingers in her hair, holding her to him. Emerson swept her tongue through his mouth and traced his teeth, memorizing his taste. She pressed herself closer, shifting her legs to tangle with his and felt his hand come down and cup the back of her knee, bringing her leg up and over his hip.

He hissed suddenly and pulled back, wincing. Emerson smoothed her hand down his neck and wrapped her arm around his back, gently fingering a spike along his spine. "You were shot, Ben." He smiled good-natured and tugged her closer, his hips fitting nicely in the space between her legs. She inhaled sharply and placed her hand gently around his neck. "Ben, you could've died."

His smile dropped away at the seriousness of her tone. He looked down at the space between them and nodded. "I know but I heal fast." She nodded and rubbed her thumb up and down the column of his throat. "But you're not indestructible. I'm not ready to say goodbye to you." She licked her lips and hooked her foot over the back of his knee, holding him in place. Ben rolled his eyes up to hers and searched her gaze.

"When I heard about what happened, I freaked out. I ran down here from the library and just sat outside waiting for news. There was blood on the wall and I thought about all the things I never said to you." She could feel Ben's eyes burning a hole in her forehead but she kept her gaze focused on the hollow of his throat, tracing the tendons with her fingers.

"I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me and how badly I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She felt his arms tighten around her but she pushed on. "I wanted to tell you that I want a family with you. I want a whole brood of kids running around with your eyes and your smile staring at me every time I turn around. I want to be able to look at people and tell them that you're my partner, my lover. I want to wake up every morning and see your face next to me. I want you to hold me as I fall asleep."

She brought her eyes up to his and almost wavered at the intensity that she was met with. She felt like Ben could see into her soul and dissect it every which way. Ben could see right through her. She was afraid to say the next part. "I want to make love to you, Ben." She felt his chest deflate with the breath he'd been holding and his fingers in her hair tightened almost painfully. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and dropped his eyes to her lips.

Emerson wrapped her arm around his neck and pressed her lips to his, dipping the tip of her tongue inside his bottom lip. Ben's hand ran up the length of her thigh and rested on the curve of her ass, pulling her tighter against him and molding the length of her body to his. Emerson sighed against his mouth, threading her fingers through his hair and engulfing his shoulders with her arms.

She opened her eyes when she heard the door open. "Well, it's good to know you're feeling better." Ben pulled away and turned his head to face Lourdes. She smirked at them and approached the side of the bed that Emerson wasn't on. She jerked her chin at Emmy and waited for the older girl to slide away from Ben. Ben groaned and rolled his eyes, shifting to his back. Lourdes smiled and carefully prodded his wounds. Ben hissed when she probed a tender spot on his side but otherwise was silent. "You're healing pretty quickly which shouldn't be a surprise. I imagine you'll be back to full capacity in a few days, a week at the latest. No strenuous activity until I say so, alright?" She grinned at Emerson's deep blush before leaving them to themselves again.

Ben chuckled and turned his head to face Emmy who had covered her face with her hands. "It's not that big of a deal, Em." Emerson snorted and pulled her hands away, glaring at him. "My friend just basically told us that we're not allowed to have sex until she says it's okay." Ben waggled his eyebrows suggestively and released a deep belly laugh when Emerson scowled and moved away from him. "Ah, come on; don't deprive me of your comfort just because I made fun of you." Emerson held firm and only moved closer to him when his strength won out.

She relaxed when Ben buried his face in her neck and closed his eyes, holding her close. "I'm going to go back to sleep." Emmy nodded and stroked his hair, closing her eyes.