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Chapter 10 – You Made Your Bed, Now Lie in It

Killian raked the man in front of him. Neal was about his age, he guessed. Average height and nicely muscular, as far as Killian could tell through the three-piece suit he was wearing. He had a short circle beard and neatly brushed up brown hair, which was impressive, considering the long travel from New York. But it wasn't until Killian reached the man's eyes that he felt threatened. The soft brown eyes of Emma's ex-boyfriend revealed the depth of the love he still held for her.

Pushing his jacket aside, Neal shoved his hands in the front pockets of his slacks. "You haven't returned any of my calls."

It wasn't an accusation.

Neal swallowed hard and the way he looked at the blonde woman who was not long ago his – with pain and deep longing – reminded Killian a child that was missing his blanket.

Sympathy warred with animosity. And Killian couldn't decide which to side with.

"I'm sorry." Emma's small voice made Killian's gaze jolt back to her. And her hand that slipped from his hadn't gone unnoticed either.

A muscle in Killian's jaw twitched and sympathy lost the battle.

"August told me I'd find you here." The hopeful smile the man gave Emma caused Killian's hand to fist at his side, but it was the mention of the guy who eye-fucked Emma all through high school that made him want to ram it through one dark-haired, blue-eyed man's face.

"August?" Killian interjected and while Emma turned to look at him, Neal didn't take his eyes off the gorgeous blonde in the berry-pink summer dress. Killian couldn't really blame the ex for appreciating the view. Something he himself had done only an hour ago. "Marco's August?"

"Yeah," Emma heaved out a breath, obviously feeling uncomfortable with the whole situation. "We became friends in college and we kept in touch ever since."

"He went to Columbia?" the confusion had Killian reeling. "Wasn't he supposed to go to NYU?"

"He was, but he switched universities at the last minute."

Killian's lips curled in a sneer. "How convenient..." there was so much more that he wanted to say about the guy who had been determined to steal his high school girlfriend, but he stopped himself to Emma's pleading gaze.

Stepping closer, Neal caught Killian's gaze. "Neal Cassidy." He held out his hand.

Killian shook it and gave him a brisk nod. "Killian Jones."

Neal paused for a moment and his eyes took on a speculative gleam. Then he snapped out of it and asked, "May I?" he gestured at space between Emma and him.

Killian nodded.

Cassidy took a step aside and Emma followed. "Did you get any of my texts?" his voice lowered intimately.

"Yes." Emma whispered back, her voice giving away how nervous she was. "I'm sorry I didn't text back… it just…" she glanced at Killian. "There was nothing left to say…"

Shoving a hand through his hair, Neal moved backward. Then he exhaled harshly, his gaze drifting to Killian and back to the woman who was clearly frustrating him at that moment. "You're leaving me for him?" his tone hardened, his chin jerking toward Killian. "It is him, right? The guy you hated enough to burn your yearbook so you wouldn't have to see his face?"

Emma shifted with obvious discomfort as she began to explain, "It's not like that – "

"You burned our yearbook?" Killian couldn't hold back his astonishment a second longer, and Emma turned in time to see his brows shooting up.

Neal's mouth curved in a mocking smile. "You didn't tell him?" the sound of his voice drew Emma's gaze back to her ex. "It's an interesting story, I've heard it at least a dozen times. So let's see if I can get it right."

"Neal. Don't." Her tone was a plea.

Killian wasn't afraid of what Neal had to say, but one look at Emma's beautiful face told him beyond a doubt that she was. "Love, it's okay." He wanted to give her the reassurance that nothing could change how he felt about her. That she shouldn't fear sharing details from the years they'd spent apart, even if that meant talking about the pain he'd caused her. "Let him speak."

Emma didn't answer, didn't nod or vocalize her approval, but she didn't protest again either.

"You tell me if I mix up the details, okay . . . love?" Cassidy mocked the endearment, his mouth a tight line, his eyes hard as agates. "Freshman year of college. Summer beach party. You didn't want to go, but your friend Lily wouldn't stop texting, insisting you should come. Eventually, you showed up at midnight with a cardboard box. Which you threw in the fire. Then you got drunk – for the first time in your life – and danced 'till morning. After the fire died out and ten pounds of memories had turned to black ashes you vomited for hours. You say it was the booze. I say it was the realization that you burned everything that reminded you of this guy over here." He gestured at Killian.

Heavy silence descended.

Killian's chin lifted. He maintained his cool even though the blow had been hard enough to knock him down for the count. Knowing that he'd driven Emma to the brink of insanity was tearing him apart. He'd always imagined her college years as the happiest time in her life. That perfect picture had already cracked when she'd confessed to being miserable without him. But now . . . not only did it shatter to pieces, it was replaced by a new, heartrending image he couldn't get out of his head.

"How can you go back to him after that?" anger colored Neal's voice as he asked the one question that whirled around in Killian's head as well.

Emma reached to her ex-lover, placing a hand on his arm.

Cassidy visibly relaxed, locking eyes with the woman he loved. The effect her touch had on him sent a flare of jealousy rushing through Killian's body and he had to take a deep breath to fight it off.

"Why don't you go get coffee and we'll go for a walk?" she asked softly.

Nodding, Neal covered her hand with his and squeezed. Then he shot Killian one last look before he left them and walked into the diner.

…

"I'm sorry." Emma said the moment they were alone. "I gotta handle this."

Killian scrubbed a hand over his stubbled cheek. "Of course."

An awkward silence filled the space between them.

"You were trying to forget me." He said with a smile to lighten the mood.

"I was." Emma flashed him a quick, sad smile. "Was desperate to, actually."

There was a pause. He sensed her struggle and wondered what she was thinking about.

"I'm sorry I got rid of it all." Her tone was apologetic and her eyes filled with regret.

Killian shook his head. "Don't worry about it." But their yearbook was burning red in front of his eyes. And while he had a copy of his own he guessed that everything else inside that flaming box was irreplaceable.

His mind drifted to the handmade wooden frame he'd given her. Emma had chosen to replace the photo of the two of them with one she'd taken of him. She had caught him in a joyful, unguarded moment with the sea at his back. It had been her favorite photo, the one she'd kept on her nightstand and the last thing she used to see before sleep. She'd also pasted another one just like it in the scrapbook that she'd made to document their relationship. Which he figured she'd set ablaze as well…

Killian cleared his throat. "So . . . my letters . . . them too?" he was almost afraid to ask what had become of the dozens of love letters he had written her during the years they were together.

His gaze slid over Emma's face. The guilt that stared out at him through her green eyes confirmed that he'd been right to fear the answer.

He looked away, rubbing at the ache in his chest. If she'd stabbed him in the heart it couldn't have hurt more. But he had no right being hurt or mad. Not when he was the one who'd made this bed.

Swallowing his emotions, he managed a smile for her. "I guess I'll have to write you new ones."

Emma gave him a relieved smile and he realized that she'd been dreading his reaction ever since Cassidy forced the truth out. Maybe even before that.

"Killian," she came closer and looked up at him. "I didn't mean… I didn't know…" her eyes grew shiny with tears.

"Shh…" he soothed, one hand gliding over her cheek.

Emma's face contorted with pain for a brief moment. "I'm sorry." Her breath was warm against his lips and all he wanted – needed – was to pull her against him and kiss her. Let her mouth chase away his doubts.

Killian heard the diner's front door open and without looking he guessed lover boy was on his way back.

Apparently so did Emma, because she swiped at her tears and pulled away. Then she turned toward her ex-boyfriend who was quickly closing the distance between them.

"No sugar, half-and-half, stirred not foamed, just the way you like it." Neal handed her a to-go cup and watched her every movement, anxiously awaiting her feedback.

She offered him a warm smile and his brown eyes sparkled in a way that made Killian's stomach lurch. "Thanks," bringing the cup to her lips and taking a sip, she moaned softly at the taste, then wiped her lips with delicate fingers. "I've been dying for a good cup of coffee ever since I got here."

"And it goes best with those bagels you like from Third Avenue." In the most natural way Cassidy let her hold his cup before he took off his jacket and draped it over one arm.

"Don't be a tease…" She handed him the drink back.

"You think I'm messing with you?" he took a quick pull on his coffee. "I brought blueberry, honey grain and cinnamon raisin."

"My favorites." Her voice was soft and her eyes gleamed with gratitude.

That made Neal's face split with a pleased grin. "They are in the car."

"You drove?" her brows rose and Killian glanced at the brand new magnetic SUV that sat at the curb. Money thrown in his face was never a good thing.

Neal shrugged. "Only from the airport – "

"I gotta go." Killian cut in and Emma turned to look at him. "I have three boats vying for my attention."

"But it's a Sunday." She blinked at him, looking confused. And with that he realized she knew nothing about his life. Nothing about the life she would have with him…

"I can't afford losing customers over missed deadlines."

Emma nodded, but the confusion did not leave her face.

"I'll see you later." Killian leaned in, offering his lips.

Emma's choice to give him a perfunctory kiss on the cheek paralyzed him for a moment. But no one seemed to notice because she and the ex got back to talking about his vehicle. And if that wasn't bad enough, as he walked away, he could hear Neal reminding her that his car – which was almost identical to the rental – had black windshields.

Now, there was a piece of information he could live without... information that brought sex to mind. Images of Emma getting it on with her ex in the back of his SUV tormented him. Had she been as passionate with Neal as she was with him? Could Neal get her hot and needy like he could?

The thoughts alone made him sick to his stomach.

After he crossed the street, Killian turned to look at them. They were standing beside the SUV about five hundred feet away from him. Far, but not far enough for him to misread Emma's body language.

Emma seemed at ease and like she was enjoying the conversation. Her shoulder leaned against the vehicle, the coffee cup pressed against her chest. After he'd gotten something out of the car, Neal came to stand close – too close – to her.

With his gut churning with jealousy and confusion, Killian squeezed his eyes shut against the turmoil of emotions.

But after he inhaled deeply, got a hold on his composure and reopened his eyes, he had to admit that Emma looked like she was right where she belonged.