Arizona woke up early, way too early. She had too much time to kill. She cleaned out her fridge and pantry, rearranged her closet, vacuumed the entire apartment, had a shower, and still had to stop herself from driving out to the preserve at nine a.m.
She arrived at nine forty-five, fifteen minutes early. And Callie was already there waiting. She was wearing stonewashed jeans, a grey sweatshirt and a tatty, denim baseball cap. Arizona got out of her car.
"I brought cider." Callie held out a steaming to-go cup.
Arizona's steps felt lighter. "I brought your jacket." She held out the black leather jacket to Callie.
The expression on Callie's face was one of delight. "Thank you so much! It's my favourite." Callie set the ciders down on a bench and then peeled off the sweatshirt. When she pulled it over her head Arizona caught a glimpse of a toned midriff as her T-shirt rode up. It was a very nice sight. Arizona bit her lip and tried not to stare. She passed the Latina her jacket and Callie put it back on, pulling the zipper halfway up. Rolling up the sweatshirt and tucking it under her arm, Callie picked up the ciders again and gave Arizona one.
The morning air was nippy; as they walked down the boardwalk paths, fallen leaves crunched underneath their feet and made a swooshing sound as they moved through them. The preserve was a marshy area full of cattails, rushes, and tall grasses. In the summer the area was filled with water birds, but now a lot of them had started migrating south.
They walked in silence for some time, sipping the hot cider. It filled Arizona's senses with the scent of cinnamon and mulling spices, warming her body as it travelled down her throat. It was the perfect drink for the morning.
After about twenty minutes Callie finally broke the silence. "Arizona, listen. I'm really, really sorry. I had no idea she would be there. I would never have suggested going if I'd known."
"It's okay." Arizona wondered if she should ask Callie if she wanted to talk about it. Would that be too prying? She felt like it might be. But it was the metaphorical elephant in the room that needed to be addressed at some point, if they wanted to take their relationship forward. "If you want to talk about it, we can. Or, if you'd like to leave it for a later time, I'd be okay with that too."
Callie turned to look at the blonde, her expressive deep brown eyes beginning to water. "I'm sorry it ruined our date."
Arizona shook her head emphatically. "I'm not considering it ruined, maybe just... rudely interrupted. If a library flood can't ruin our sort-of first date, then this doesn't count as ruining the sort-of second. It's only ruined if we decide it is. And I'm deciding that it isn't. Not yet." Arizona nodded emphatically as though she could make it be so just by saying it.
Callie's expression softened. She got quiet again and they walked a ways together in more comfortable silence. As much as Arizona wanted to reach out and hold her hand, she restrained herself.
"So...I dated this artist girl in college." Callie started. She seemed unsure about how to talk about this.
"Erica."
"Yeah. Erica. She was this intense person, so she didn't seem to mind that I was kind of intense at the time too… all dark and broody. We were terrible for each other. She was obsessive about her art and I was...a little obsessive about her. You know, my stupid 'must immediately find soul mate' thing." Callie sighed. "I used to spend hours and hours with her in the art studio where she'd churn out page after page of sketches. Only to see her tear them up in a rage and throw them all away when she deemed them not good enough. Looking back on it, she was kind of scary, only I couldn't see it. Or didn't want to. Maybe some of both." Callie glanced over at Arizona to gauge how she felt.
"I dated enough crazy exes in my day too. Remind me to tell you about Essie, the mobster's wife sometime," Arizona said, trying to be encouraging.
"You're kidding?" Callie's tone was incredulous.
"I only wish I was." Arizona grimaced and shook her head. "Anyway. Erica."
Callie smiled a little. "Anyway, Erica. Long story short, she just got more and more...obsessive. My friends tried to warn me. Finally even I couldn't ignore it any more. I started to get worried about the things she would say. So I...went through her things. And I found some of her journals, which were filled with her scribbles." Callie looked down. "That's why she was saying all that stuff about me betraying her. I did break her trust, but I did it because she was scaring me. And then the things she was writing were really scary. She was writing about hurting herself, hurting me, doing crazy things like blowing up classrooms and making 'them' all pay."
Arizona felt herself shiver. That was one of the more frightening things she'd had to think about when coming back to school. The university had an alert system expressly for that reason. It had made her nervous as she signed up for the notifications, but she'd made sure to put her cell phone in the system.
"I brought the journal to one of her professors. He notified the health centre and she got called in. And I don't know how she found out it was me, probably because no one else had the access that I did. Long and ugly story short, we had an argument in the car park… She went on about how you had to 'suffer for your art to have meaning' and that her feelings and writings were completely normal for a real artist. She was screaming and crying. The next day, she was gone. It was like she suddenly disappeared. I don't know the details, but I think she had to withdraw for medical reasons. Her artist friends hated me for 'turning her in'. They made my life a living hell for a really long time." Callie's words came out in a rush, and when she stopped, she breathed out, a long sigh. "I couldn't even go to the art building for years, until they all graduated. And I used to love being there so much."
"You did the right thing, Callie. Sounds like she really needed help." They'd stopped walking by now, and Arizona turned to face Callie, fisting the lapels of her leather jacket. "You might have saved her life. She's lucky that she had someone who recognised how alarming that stuff was. She can't see it, but you did the right thing." Arizona's tone was kind, empathetic.
"I know, I tell myself that. She definitely needed help." Callie shook her head. "I just didn't know what to think when I saw that… that piece of 'art'. That picture of me. And what she did to it. I could feel her rage."
"It felt...really personal to me."
Callie nodded uncomfortably. "She used to wake me up with a camera in my face. It used to piss me off at first, and then it started to make me feel really creeped out. It gives me the shivers thinking about her having all those pictures, and then using them in her art like that. I actually don't know what other pictures of me she had or if she still has them." Callie rubbed her arms and rolled her shoulders, like she was trying to shrug off the feelings. "I think it weirds me out even more that some art professor is...letting her do that as art, maybe even encouraging her."
Callie stopped. "I'm sorry. Here I am on a date with a gorgeous, gorgeous woman," Callie emphasised the second gorgeous, "and I'm going on and on about my crazy ex. I think that's the biggest 'don't' in the dating textbook."
Arizona's mouth fell open. "You think I'm gorgeous?" She looked up at Callie shyly, her head cocked to one side.
Callie closed her eyes and chuckled. "I'm so glad that your takeaway from that awkward mess was that line." She twisted her cider cup in its paper sleeve. "And yes. For the record, I do. I think you're gorgeous."
"I'm all about the power of positive hearing. Or something like that. And, for the record also, I think you're breathtakingly stunning." Arizona grinned as Callie's face-splitting smile made its appearance. "Besides, we're lesbians, aren't we all supposed to have a list of crazy exes as long as our arms? I bet that was in the text book on the chapter about 'personal histories and how not to be a "judgmental jerk about your girlfriend's'."
"Someone really should write that book."
"I think I've read a few." Arizona admitted, rubbing the back of her neck, a little embarrassed.
"I'm just really sorry, Arizona. This whole mess is just awful, I didn't mean to put you in the middle of such an uncomfortable situation." The Latina's tone was regretful.
"I know. I trust you. And it was probably worse for you than it was for me." Arizona finally decided to reach out for Callie's hands, as if to physically show her that she wasn't going anywhere.
"That might be true." The brunette leaned in towards her blonde companion. "I'm sorry it happened. All of it."
Callie nodded. "Thanks. I just feel so...I don't know, stupid."
"Hey! Stop that. You're not stupid. She took advantage of you. She captured private moments on film and put them on public display. It's not your fault."
Callie's eyes were misty. She nodded. "So, I can understand if you'd rather not see me. I guess I've got more history than most. No hard feelings if you want to just walk away."
"Callie…" Arizona stopped short. She'd wanted to say Callie's full name, but realised that she didn't even know it. "What's your surname?" she demanded.
"What?" Callie was puzzled. "Er… Torres."
"Right. Callie Torres. I have this strange feeling that Callie's short for something, but that's a story for later. Anyways. Callie Torres. I am not about to just walk away from you. I mean, I can't predict the future so who knows what's going to happen years from now, but I like you. And I know you like me. So, I like you, and you like me, and none of the rest of it matters. I mean, heck, you said I was gorgeous. You have no idea how long it's been since anyone said that. So I think you're definitely worth it. God know, I've got some history too. But I want go out with you. I want to get to know you. Heck, I've been worried ever since I met you that you were way out of my league. So... unless you're dumping me, you're stuck with me for at least a little while, Callie Torres."
Callie brushed tears from her eyes and cheeks. "Well, all right. Let's give this a try." She gestured between them with her hands as a gorgeous smile broke out on her face again, like the sun splitting the clouds on a cloudy day.
Arizona's dimpled popped as she smiled and leaned in towards Callie again, put her arms around her, and pulled her close. "I'm going to kiss you now, Callie Torres."
"But we haven't even finished our first date yet!" Callie played.
Oh, hush! I think we deserve to speed things up a bit in order to make up for it, was Arizona's reply as she stood on tiptoes to reach up and touch her lips to Callie's. And when their lips finally did meet, the world beyond them ceased to exist, and nothing else mattered. Callie's strong, caramel hands tangled in long blonde tresses, pulling Arizona flush against her. Both women revelled in the kiss, losing themselves in the moment; the kiss saying so much more than words ever could… trust and the promise to try being the primary sentiments.
And, just as their lips parted, Arizona's stomach gurgled. Breakfast, since she'd gotten up so early, had been too long ago. "Excuse me!" A blush spread across her milky complexion. The blonde was mortified.
Callie tried to hide a smile, and then she started to laugh. Loud, belly laughs, which eventually prompted Arizona to begin giggling. Soon, both were laughing out loud together, a comical sight as they held on to each other in the middle of the footpath. "I'm sorry," Callie managed to choke out in between laughs. "I'm sorry! You're adorable. And gorgeous. Gorgeously adorable," as she got her laughter under control. "I think I owe you a bite to eat, if I recall correctly. Can I take you for the rainchecked dinner part of our date? Or lunch, maybe?"
"That would be really great." Arizona's cheeks were even more flushed now from the bout of laughter, the sparkle in her eyes dancing merrily in the mid-morning sun.
"What are you in the mood for?"
"Something hot. The cider was really good but as you heard, my stomach demands hot food now."
Callie looked thoughtful for a few moments. "How about that little soup place right next to the hair salon?"
"I've never been there. Soup sounds great right about now." Arizona rubbed her upper arms and pulled her jacket closer. "Well, it's my treat. After I just made you listen to my dramatic sob story, the least I can do is buy you lunch." Callie smiled shyly. Arizona smiled back, her dimples on full display. That was the expression that had melted her heart over the cafe counter while purchasing one of the many Strawberry Sensations with chia seed booster. It was wonderful to see it on Callie's face again.
A/N: Sorry about the earlier new chapter upload notification. After I clicked 'upload' somehow tons of mumbo jumbo text appeared. Anyways, I'm thinking there are about two more chapters to go before the end of this story... thank you again for the reviews and kind words! I might take another crack at a different fic after this one :)