TEN
"I don't know how you did it, Cole," said Piper, "but it looks like we owe you a debt of thanks. It seems you helped us save the manor."
"You can thank Elbert," said Cole, slapping the smaller demon on the back. "He did all the work. And quite admirably I must stay."
"Oh, it was nothing," said Elbert. "All I had to do was identify the primary problem, and then cross-reference it with previous similar conditions. Then it was a simple matter to research any rulings and statues that apply to those conditions and the final outcome of any appeals that were applicable. From there is was easy to cross reference this information with any new laws or regulations instituted since the rulings were originally made and cross reference those with other rulings that might affect the laws and regulations but that were entered in a different area of law.
"It was actually a very simple matter, really. But I must say I seem to have gotten rusty at it since I entered the university. It took me nearly thirty minutes to locate the basic regulations and another twenty minutes to locate the citation that Pudge, I mean, Cole, cited to Mr. Mervin. I can remember a time when I could have done it all in fifteen minutes or less."
"That's all?" questioned Paige. "You did all that in less than an hour?"
"I know," said Elbert. "I'm dreadfully slow. I plan to keep my hand in it and maybe I can get my speed back up. Practice makes perfect as they say. I wonder who are the 'they' that say all these things?"
"Nevertheless," said Cole, handing the affidavit to Elbert. "If you could get this to the judge right away I'd appreciate it."
"No problem," said Elbert. "I'll take it over as soon as I leave here."
"You did an outstanding job, Elbert," said Cole. "Because of you the girls can stay in the manor and you saved them a whole lot of work. I'd say the girls owe you a debt of gratitude."
"Aww, it wasn't nothing," said Elbert. "That is what you hired me for."
"Even so," said Piper, "we do owe you a great deal, Elbert. I have to apologize to you. I've never seen much use for bureaucracy demons. I always thought they were a pain in the neck. I can see now that at least some of them can actually do a whole lot of good."
"They're right, Elbert," said Phoebe. "You did us a favor and we won't forget it."
She kissed Elbert on the cheek and Elbert immediately began to shimmer in and out uncontrollably.
"I see some things never change," said Paige, laughing.
"And probably never will," said Cole. "Elbert will always be Elbert, I'm afraid."
"We wouldn't want him any other way," said Phoebe.
"Excuse me," said Marnia, standing in the entryway to the manor.
"What is it?" Piper asked. "Don't tell me there's another problem with the water heater?"
"No, no, not a problem exactly," said Marnia. "More like a clarification." He held up what looked like some kind of electronic device. "This was on the old water heater in the basement. It's called a Safety Release Valve. It releases the pressure built up in the water heater when it reaches a preset level to prevent the water heater from blowing up."
"Okay," said Piper. "What about it?"
"Well," said Marnia, "when we started to remove the old water heater I did a cursory inspection of it to see exactly what had gone wrong with it. Apparently this is the only thing that's wrong with it. It seems to have gone bad and was allowing the water to simply pour through the water heater. That's what caused the basement to flood."
"Okay, so the valve thingy went bad," said Phoebe. "So what? I don't see your point."
"My point," said Marnia, "is that you don't need a new water heater. The one you have down there now seems to be perfectly good despite its age. And after looking it over I'd say it will probably last a good many years before you need to replace the entire unit."
"So how much is this pressure valve thing going to cost to replace?" Piper asks.
"I don't know for sure," said Marnia. "I'll have to check the specific type to know exactly which one to replace it with. But I would imagine it's going to cost you about seven or eight dollars to replace it. And it shouldn't take more than ten minutes or so to change them out."
"Eight dollars?" Piper questioned, her temper beginning to rise. "You mean I spent seven hundred dollars for a new water heater, went through this whole mess with the inspector, was nearly evicted from my home, had my husband forced to join a demonic union, and all for an eight dollar piece of equipment?"
"Hey, I didn't know what was wrong with it," said Marnia. "I was told the water heater had gone bad and needed to be replaced. It's not my fault no one did a proper inspection before I got here."
"I don't believe it," said Piper, doing her best to keep her temper under control. "All the hassle, all the problems, all the harassment, and all for a piece equipment that costs less than ten dollars. I suppose it will cost a small fortune to have an authorized technician replace this piece."
"Actually," said Marnia, "union regulations don't address replacing small parts like this. Anyone can do it as long as they know how to do it."
Without a word Piper just turned and slowly made her way to the stairs. Leo started to follow her when Phoebe suddenly took his arm stopping him.
"Maybe you'd better let her have some alone time," Phoebe whispered to Leo. "When Piper gets like this there's no telling what she's likely to do. You don't want her blowing you up do you?"
"Good point," Leo whispered back. He turned to Cole. "Maybe you and I should make ourselves scarce for a while. Give her some time to cool off."
"Good idea," said Cole. "I'm thinking we're not her most favorite people right about now. Come on. I know a place we can go where we should be safe for several hours."
"Did I do something wrong?" Elbert asked as Leo orbed and Cole shimmered out of the manor. "I hope she's not angry with me. She's a real nice lady. I wouldn't want her mad at me."
"No, Elbert, you're okay," said Paige. "She's just upset because after everything she's gone through and then we find out it could all have been avoided pretty easily. Still, it's probably best if we leave her alone for now. Like Leo said, give her some time to cool off."
"Okay," said Elbert. "I guess I need to get the affidavit filed for Cole. I have an appointment I need to get to."
"What kind of appointment?" Phoebe asked.
"I don't really know," said Elbert. "I got a message from Kringe. He's a senior bureaucracy demon. He said something about needing to see me about some old tradition he's discovered."
"An old tradition?" questioned Paige. "You know a lot about demonic traditions?"
"As much as anyone else I guess," said Elbert. "He probably wants me to do some research just like Cole wanted me to do. I'm real good at doing research, you know."
"Yeah, I figured that," said Paige.
"Okay, well, I guess I should be going," said Elbert. "It was nice to see you again. Hope we get a chance to see each other again real soon."
"Yeah, maybe," said Phoebe uneasily.
Elbert shimmered out of the manor leaving Phoebe and Paige alone in the living room.
The End
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