Yay! The chapter I've been waiting to write and post lol. There are two new characters (one you've been expecting ;)) and a lot of slash moments. And just saying, I love Kendall in this ;).
And happy Cargan Day! (May 30) :)
Advice from the Caterpillar
He takes a deep breath. Starting his morning is harder than what it used to be. Normally, Carlos was a morning person; he rises with the sun. The snooze button on his clock rang once and that was good enough. Sometime he would wake up before the alarm. But the last few days, his body felt heavier, weighted down by forces stronger than gravity.
Breakfast isn't much better. He involuntarily makes pancakes as if it is his morning ritual. Even though he prefers omelette with cheese, bacon, ham and all the works, his hands grab the box of pancake mix and whisk away as if the sound of metal batting the bowl of batter will make Logan come running back home like a lost puppy.
He sighs, taking his seat in front of the two plates. Tiredly, he tries to pick up his fork but the tips of the utensil never leave, still swirling, playing in the maple syrup. "I bet Logan would love this too."
...
Taking the swing James was just on, Carlos sits down, recovering from his jog. He hasn't been jogging very long, probably for the last twenty minutes. So meeting his friends in the park came as a surprise to him when Logan flagged him down.
"Why are you at the park?" Logan asks, kicking his feet, leaning on the chain closer to Carlos. His body slants towards his friend's direction, trying to be as close as humanly possible while still staying on his own plank.
"I was just jogging." Carlos sighs, knowing that is a lie. There are only two reasons why Carlos goes to the park, one he is bored and needs something better to do or two, he needs a place to think. And his reason to jog today is the latter one.
"Are you sure?" Logan asks in a sing-song voice, beaming a smile. Carlos nods. "Nope. James said that you taught him about the park. You said you go to the park to balance or something."
Carlos chuckles, smiling. He turns his head to study Logan's exaggerated grin. "You mean I told James that I go to the park to forget that I am sad and become happy again, right?"
"Something like that. James used a lot of hard words and I don't listen to him a lot." Logan honestly answers, not noticing the meaning behind his words. Carlos sighs, feel more conflicted. How can Logan be so honest with him, telling him anything on his mind as if Carlos is a jar for Logan to pile all of his secrets and emotions in?
"I think James will be happier if you listen more to him, logie." Carlos preaches, gently swinging. "It's not nice to ignore him when he is talking."
"Because he is my boyfriend?"
"No, because it is polite to listen to everyone no matter who it is."
Logan stays quiet for a moment, watching Carlos somberly stare at his feet. "Sorry Carlos. I promise to listen to James more like how I listen to you."
The jogger takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "You don't have to apologize, Logan. I'm just teaching you how to be a good boy."
"No, I have to. Barney said to say sorry when I make you sad."
"I'm never sad because you. You're the one person that makes me happy in a long time." Carlos stops, biting his lower lip, regretting his last comment. "I mean, you don't have to, Logan. I know you're a good boy."
"Thanks Car." Carlos catches a glimpse of Logan's prominent dimples poking out of his pale cheeks. It's comforting and warm; noticing these small things about Logan makes Carlos joyful even though Logan isn't his boyfriend.
"So Logan..." Carlos tries to strike a conversation, after feeling that Logan is looking at him with those big brown eyes for a long time. "How is James? Is everything good?"
"Yep, James is nice and great. He is always with me, hugging and promising to be the best boyfriend. Some time he sounds sad when he hugs me but I think James is happy most of the time."
Sad while hugging, Carlos thinks. The words stab him. He can't imagine how hard James must be trying just to get Logan to love him back. For him to cry for Logan to stay in his arms, it's sounds heartbreaking.
"How are you doing? You like being with James, right?" The latter question sounds more like a plead. Even though it hurts to beg Logan to love James, Carlos knows it's the right thing to do, let James be happy.
"I'm great. I get to go to the park and everything. I like James. James says he will do anything for me. He said yesterday 'whatever you want I will do it for you.' James is nice."
"But you don't ask him for things, right? Only bad boyfriends ask for everything."
"Then why did James ask me?" Logan crooks his head, perplexed by James' generosity.
"Because James really likes you." He is doing everything he can to keep you as a boyfriend, is what Carlos wants to say but he doesn't want James to sound desperate or needy. "James is the best boyfriend anyone can have. He wants you to be happy."
"Yea, James is great." Logan sighs and pouts, sounding as if he is becoming less interested in being with James. "Hey Carlos, do you love me?"
"What?" Carlos chokes, nearly flipping over swing. He turns to face Logan with his crimson scarlet face. "Why would you ask that?"
"Because James told me that love is wanting to be with someone forever. Do you love me?" He asks again with his innocent pout, expecting Carlos to say yes and the Latino would but there are so many reasons for him not to with James being his best friend the number one reason why.
"I think you should love your boyfriend." Carlos answers quickly, turning to face forward and away from Logan.
"I'm sad."
Carlos sharply whips his eyes back at his friend. "Why?"
"Because boyfriends have too many rules." Logan answers. "Boyfriend loves boyfriend. Boyfriend sleeps with boyfriend. There are too many rules."
"Those are usually what boyfriends are about. You love each other and be with each other because you make each other happy. What's so bad about it?"
"I want to live with you." Logan exclaims abruptly with his cracked voice. this time, it sounds more like logan's making a plead than making a statement. "I don't want to be away from you."
Carlos' head drops again. He swings softly to the push of the slow breeze. "James is a good guy, Logie. He is a good catch and I know he loves you a lot."
"But I don't want to live with him." Logan whines. "I rather live with you."
The Latino sighs at Logan's beg. This was the reason why he went to the park in the first place; he wanted to run out of his feelings for Logan. Hopefully, he wanted the park to purge him of everything so he can move on but everywhere he goes, Logan is there, gnawing at him to give in to what is not his; what is James'.
"You make James happy, Logie." Carlos repeats like a broken record; the excuse he uses in any of Logan's doubtful situation. "When you live with James, he is smiling. He needs you more than anyone. You make him happy."
"But are you happy?" Logan asks innocently.
Carlos shakes his head, his voice getting stuck in his throat. He wants to say no but he refuses to break and give in. James is his friend and he needs Logan more than anyone. "I'm happy if James is happy."
"Ok." Logan whispers after a moment of thinking, remembering what James said about love; you know you're in love if you do everything that person asks just to make him happy even if you're not happy. "I'll live with James if it makes you happy."
"Thanks Logan. It means a lot that you're making James happy. He needs you." Carlos remarks, taking deep breaths between sentences.
"Hey Carlos." Logan pouts, his words sounding mousy and delicate.
"Yea?"
"I love you."
...
Staring at his full plate of pancakes gets worst by the second. His stomach is barren but Carlos doesn't feel like eating. His morning is just as empty as his stomach and just as empty as his vacant lap.
Ding! Dong! The doorbell rings once and then again and again.
"Wait a second!" Carlos smiles, nearly falling over his seat as he hastely stumbles off. Only a kid would ring the doorbell repeatedly like that, which can only mean one thing. His morning is going to become better.
"Carlos!" His visitor jumps into the home, arms thrown around Carlos' neck. "I haven't seen you in forever."
"Samantha?" Carlos blinks, watching his brown hair friend waltz through his hallway and into his kitchen. "What are you doing and who are you?" Carlos whips his head back at his other blonde lanky guest.
"She didn't tell you who I am?" The tall blonde singularly raises one eyebrow as he walks up to Carlos with his hand extended for a handshake. Carlos accepts it, glad that one of his guest has manner. "Well I can't say I am surprised. Sam is a forgetful cousin. I'm Kendall."
"Carlos. Say, you look familiar."
"Guilty. I am training to be a Minnesota Wild. You probably saw me when the TV catches me on the bench. Currently, I'm traveling around to watch the real players play but it beats staying in Minnie."
"That's what Sam said," he whispers, remembering the last time he and Sam talked. It was a year ago when Sam said she is going to travel and see the country to inspire her fashion. But Carlos asked her to stay and the worst happened. It would had be easier if Sam left without a word and just dumped him but the stuck up girl dared to ask Carlos if he would be fine with her having a second, or a third boyfriend, one for every state she visits. It shattered Carlos' heart.
"And that is typical Sam for you." Kendall winks, pating his shoulder. "Do you mind offering a glass of water? Normally I would get it like Sam did but this isn't my house."
"Oh sure. Follow me."
"I forgot how good your cooking is, Carlos." She continues wolfing down one of the plates of pancakes, moving onto the next one.
"You do know that one of them is Carlos' breakfast, right cuz?"
She rolls her eyes, cutting the cakes into triangle slices. "If you dated Carlos, you would know that he would give me anything I want. Right, Carlos?" Her cousin blinks at the question. He couldn't believe Sam dragged him to her past boyfriend's home.
"Well, that was a year ago." Carlos sighs, biting his lower lip. Kendall notices.
"Hey Carlos, do you have a TV? I need to study the reruns of yesterday's game and it should be playing now."
"Yea, it's in the living room." Carlos leads him down the hall and into the spacious room. "Here, Kendall," he says, handing the player the remote and the glass of water.
"Ok, real question," Kendall announces, turning on the TV to mute their coming conversation. "Why are you letting my cuz treat you like this, again? You're not dating her anymore."
Carlos takes a seat, playing with his fingers. He doesn't know why, maybe it's who he is, maybe he just has feeling to give other everything at his own expanse; that's how Logan sneaked into his life. "It's fine. Helping her is what I do."
"You are way too generous." Kendall waves the remote at Carlos' face before sitting down on the adjacent sofa. "You need to be more assertive and take what is your."
Carlos' head drops lower. He can't take him, not when him belongs to his best friend. Logan can like, love Carlos all he wants but Carlos can't call Logan his. But that isn't what Kendall is talking about.
"It's just a plate of pancakes."
"Was it for someone?" Kendall quickly jumps his question, raising the volume. Carlos states at the TV, observing the pixels of changing color rather than the actual game. "It wasn't like you expected us, or like how I expected to go to one of her ex-boyfriend's house."
"No, I had extra pancakes."
Kendall shakes his head. Throwing the remote back on the coffee table, he reclines back, head resting on the cushion. "You need to man up."
"What?" Carlos snaps back. His eyes thin into a dejected glare. "You think I have to man up?"
"Psh," Kendall exhales, shrugging his shoulders. "You need to stop thinking and do, take what is your, what you want. That is what I do when I want something. From the moment I met you, which was only ten minutes, you've been depress. So man up and do something."
Kendall does have some truth in his words. His mornings have been somber and it's partial if not mostly his fault. He does need to do something to get over Logan, to forget his feelings for Logan. Logan is never going to grow mature and get closer to James if Carlos is in the way, waiting for a break. He needs to stop thinking about Logan and do something else, something that makes him happy.
"And you got this from a plate of pancake?"
"Two plates." Kendall points two fingers at him and they share a laugh; the first time Carlos really smiled in the morning. "So... I'm Kendall." The athlete stands up and walks in front of Carlos with his hand out.
"What are you doing?" The host asks, staring at the hand and Kendall's smirk.
"I hated your first impression. You're going to give me a better one." Kendall offers, inching his hand closer to Carlos. "I'm Kendall knight. I know. I'm good looking and you probably know me as a player and soon to be center for The Wilds."
"And I'm supposed to like your new first impression?" Carlos jokes, reaching for his second handshake. "I'm Carlos. I am sexy and you probably know me as the guy who dated your cousin."
"And that you did," Kendall says, falling back on his sofa, relaxing with his body melting into the soft pillows. "Sexy? That is debatable. Watch it, Pecs. Using words like sexy and I might think that you're hitting on me."
"Pecs?"
"You hve enormous pectoral muscles. It's like they are staring at me and ripping through your shirt."
Carlos laughs, body curling and tears forming in the process. He hasn't laughed this hard in a long while. "Now who's hit on whom now?"
"Watch it, Pecs. You're not my type. I like pretty boy."
"Ouch. That didn't hurt at all." Carlos remarks, throwing a pillow at Kendall's face.
"Get over yourself. Having pecs doesn't automatically make you pretty. Just be happy you're slightly above average." The pillow is volleyed back and eventually becomes a game of its own.
"Hey! What did I miss?" Samantha emerges from the kitchen, taking a seat next to Carlos with her stick thin legs lying over his lap. "Were you guys talking about me?" She squeaks in her high pitched voice.
"No, although you should get your legs off of Carlos. We already invaded his home. Let's not invade his personal space." Her cousin states coldly, annoyed with Sam's manners.
"Nah, it's ok, Kendall. As long as Sam doesn't do anything else, I'm fine." Carlos says and finally watches the hockey game. "So, tell me about the game. I played hockey a bit in high school but what are you studying when watching a game?"
Kendall's face lights up, loving whenever he has someone to talk to about his life's passion. "I have to study the center's movement. You see how he's speeding down the ice? I have to be able to copy his form and add to it, make it better and faster. It's mentality. The coach said if I can mentally think of a way to be better, on the ice, I will play better."
"Wow, that's pretty cool."
"It is! I am going to check the ice tomorrow morning for train and-"
"God!" Sam rolls her eyes, pulling out her cell phone from her jean pocket, slender fingers ready for texting. "If this is all you boys are going to talk about, I should had hit the mall." This time Kendall rolls his gold dusted green eyes, shaking his head. He hates when people, especially when his family, shoot down his life's aspiration.
"Just like old times." Carlos says to lighten Kendall's tense stare at his cousin.
"Just like the present." Kendall sarcastically corrects, peeking his eyes at the TV. He mouths to Carlos without saying a sound, "Got to love family."
Carlos laughs and mouths back, "Ups and downs of my past."
Kendall laughs, shaking his head and continues mouthing. "That's what you get for dating her."
...
His finger repeatedly presses the doorbell, impatiently waiting for Carlos to open the door. He licks his lips, getting more antsy by the second.
"Logan. You're going to break the button if you keep doing that," James irritatingly informs the ecstatic boy. For the most part of the day, Logan couldn't stop talking about going to Carlos' house. In the morning, Logan hinted at going to Carlos by whining about wanting pancakes and when James got pancakes delivered from a nearby dinner, Logan dejectedly pushed it away saying that Carlos' taste better. In the afternoon, Logan would jump around, yelling that he wants to watch Barney on the TV. James obliged, ordering the TV show directly to his high definition TV but Logan complained that the TV is too big and it hurts his eyes. In other words, "let's go to Carlos' house," was what Logan passively meant and James couldn't take it anymore.
"Maybe Carlos didn't hear it. I have to ring it again," Logan argues, rapidly pressing the button.
"Coming!" They hear Carlos yelling from the other side.
"Carlos!" Logan bounces through the door. "I want to watch Barney!"
"Oh," Carlos sounds, peeking at his watch. It's five in the evening. "It's late and I have-" Carlos couldn't finish what he had to say. Logan is already running through the house and into the living room. "Company." He sighs and looks at James. His friend is shifting on his feet, tiredly yawning. Carlos notices huge purple bags under James' normally bright eyes. His model friend never leaves his home without making sure he is in top notch appearance.
"Are you ok, James? You look... different." He observes. James shakes his head.
"I'm fine. I didn't get any sleep yesterday and Logan didn't want to eat anything or do anything and he's becoming harder to control. But other than that and having a boyfriend, I am fine." James answers monotonously, walking pass Carlos and into the living room.
Awkwardly, Carlos closes the door and returns to the filled room. He notices a tense air the room suddenly holds. The hockey game on the TV drowns out the silence. James and Logan are sharing the love seat, Logan sitting on James' lap while James' assertively has his arms wrapped around his waist. Logan stares at Samantha with scornful eyes and Kendall's licking his lips, staring at James. Carlos slowly passes in front of his two friends and returns to his seat next to Samantha. She snickers and crosses her leg over Carlos' lap, twirling her index finger in Carlos' sleeve.
"So this is the Logan you were talking about before." She infers after Carlos explained his situation to her and Kendall hours prior. Logan huffs his cheeks, holding onto his deathly gaze at the girl. "He's cute." Logan continues his silence, eyes sharpening with malice.
"Logan, are you ok?" James whispers into his ear, feeling Logan clawing at his forearm. "Stop scratching me."
"I want to leave!" He throws a tantrum, making James groan.
"No. You are staying. You kept bothering me to go to Carlos and now you're going to stay." James nudges Logan off his lap and onto the open seat.
"Wait, James." Carlos stands up. "Where are you going?"
"I am going to get some air. The room is stuffy. Stay here." James commands Logan and briskly walks out. Logan doesn't care, crossing his arms and stares at Sam.
"Well, my legs fell asleep." Kendall groans and pretends to stretch his legs. "I'm going to grab some air." He quickly gets out of the room, leaving his cousin, Carlos and Logan alone.
"Well, this is weird." Carlos whispers to himself and changes the channel. "You can watch Barney, Logie."
"Thanks Carlos." Logan smiles and sticks his tongue at Sam when Carlos isn't looking.
The girl smirks and scoots closer to Carlos' body. She plays with his shirt, running circles on his pec. "Carlos," She sultrily whispers into his ear. "I want to watch the hockey game."
"Sam, stop it." He grabs her radiantly tanned fingers. "You can't touch me like that."
"Why?" She fakes her innocence, kissing under his ear. "I forgot how great my man is."
"Sam, I'm not your man anymore and Logie is here." The Latino whispers, pushing her lingering fingers off.
"It's fine, right? You don't mind if I touch Carlos, right Logie?" She mocks his nickname.
"Slut!"
"What?" Carlos yells, jumping from his seat. "Who told you that word? That is a bad word!"
Logan smirks at Carlos pushing Sam off his lap but he quickly pouts and apologizes. "Sorry Carlos. James and I saw an ugly girl on TV that looked like her and they said she is a slut."
"I am going to kill James. He shouldn't be letting you watch bad shows like that. Don't say that word again, ok logie?" Carlos asks, sitting back down. Sam sticks her tongue at Logan, feeling victoriously with Carlos returning to her side. Logan glares at her again.
"Can I call her a fucking whore?"
"Logan!" Carlos jumps back up and Logan fakes a pout. "You can't call Sam those bad words."
"Is bitch a bad word?" Logan asks, knowing the answer. James told him never to use these words but if it keeps Sam off of Carlos' lap, Logan doesn't mind although he just ran out of bad words.
"Yes! No more bad words ok, Logie? You are a good boy, right?"
"I am your good boy," Logan states, emphasizing the word "your" while he quickly peeks at Samantha.
"Good because good boys don't use those words." Carlos ends, sitting back down.
"Wait Carlos." Logan calls before Carlos can sit. "Can you teach me good words?" Logan, scoots to the end of the love seat, and pats the vacant space for Carlos.
"I'll teach you some good words." Sam pulls Carlos down and sits fully on his lap. Logan's cheeks flare bright red with anger. She notices Logan's rage and wraps her arms around Carlos' neck, knowing it will make Logan even more furious.
"Sam, you can't do this."
"Relax. You and I are going to teach Logan good words like we are his mommy and daddy."
"I don't want you for a mommy!" Logan yells and crosses his arms.
"Why not? Don't you want a beautiful mommy? Beautiful is a good word."
"I don't like you!" Logan screams.
"Logan! What is the matter with you? Good boys don't say that!" Carlos yells. Logan huffs and walks over to them.
"You can't sit on Carlos." Logan ignores Carlos and angrily glares at Sam.
"Why not? Carlos doesn't mind." She presses her cheek against Carlos', sitting on him exactly the same way as the picture Logan remembers a few days ago. His blood boils at the memory of the photo, hating how happy Carlos looked with this girl sitting on him.
"MY CARLOS!" He aggressively pushes Sam off of Carlos before storming out the room."
"Logan!" Carlos calls, following after him.
...
James takes a deep breath of solitude. The cool air brushes his palette and the back of his throat. It's soothing for once that being alone comforts him, ironically. Leaning his body on the porch fence, James stares at the blue sky; how the Minnesota's sun quickly sets and the single moon washes over. There are no stars in the sky and none James can wish on to fix his relationship.
"Hmm."
James turns his head, noticing the same blonde guy from inside stretching next to him. For a full second, James is at awe at the man he failed to notice before. Kendall, under the moonlight, is flawless with beautiful green eyes and dirty golden hair perfect sitting on his dimpled profile. He takes another second, his eyes tracing the contours of Kendall's body covered with a thin shirt before he realizes he is checking him out and turns around. He returns to ignoring the grunts Kendall's making and focuses on the sole moon to forget about how good looking Kendall is because to James, nothing good comes from good looking guys.
"Not vocal are you?"
"If you don't mind, leave." James rudely commands. The brunette's demeanor stays cold and distant, not wanting to be with anyone for the time being. "Really, can you leave?"
Kendall raises his right eyebrow, mimicking James' position on the wooden railing. "And why must I leave?"
"Because you're good looking and I can't deal with people like you right now." James truthfully answers, too tired to lie to the hockey player.
"Wow, I am flattered but that is expected. I'm Kendall after all." He shrugs and creeps an arm around James' shoulders. The model jerks, shifting away from Kendall. "Woah. No need to be hostile. Just let me hold you. Minnesota is cold and my body is perfect, like you said."
Kendall slams both hands on the railings, one on each side of James. The brunette turns, noticing Kendall boxed him. "I have a boyfriend!" He yells, ducking under Kendall's arm and walks to the broken brown wooden bench.
"Do you really have a boyfriend?" Kendall takes a seat, leaning over, his lips inching closer to James.
"Obviously." He blushes and averts Kendall by walking to the other side of the wooden fixture. Kendall chuckles, finding their little chase amusing. "Logan is my boyfriend."
"Who? The little brunette staring at my cousin?" Kendall recalls, advancing to James. He pushes James against the wall, smirking hungrily. "Your boyfriend has hungry, deadly eyes."
"He doesn't want your cousin, dumbass." James pushes Kendall off of him. "He wants Carlos."
"Then why won't you give Logan to Carlos and go for the guy you called good looking?"
"You are so fucking full of yourself." James stomps, pacing heavily on the creaky wooden floor.
"No. I didn't say I was good looking," Kendall reminds, closing in on the pretty model. "But I am known for a lot of things. People say I am sex on ice, a kisser you will never forget and a fighter." Kendall thrusts his lips to James' ear, his breath ghosting the tan lobe. "In bed."
James jumps, falling and tripping over his own legs. "Get the fuck away!"
"Do you really want to curse at the guy that can make your dreams come true?" Kendall extends his hand for James to use to get up. Ironically, James thought Kendall was going to crawl on the floor, over him and capture his lips in a fiery heated kiss as hot as the breath exhaled on his ear but Kendall doesn't and James smacks the hand away.
"I don't need your help." James states, standing up with his own strength. "I don't need good looking guys to look at me like another trophy that's needs to be banged."
"Oh, after I am done, you can't bump out the bangs I'll do to you." Kendall taunts, honing onto the brunette.
"Really? Can you leave me alone, please," James finally grovels. If pushing doesn't help maybe begging would. "I have so many problems and I don't know how to fix them."
"Well running away isn't going to fix one of them." Kendall falls onto the bench, arms and legs spread out, as if he expects James to sit in between his legs. But the model doesn't and sits against the wooden column across the blonde.
"And what problem is that?"
"That you like me."
James scoffs. "All you good looking guys are the same!" James explodes. "You all just say cocky things, make me fall in love with you and then throw me aside after sex. Well fuck you, Kendall. You're just like your asshole cousin."
"Language." Kendall calmly reminds.
"No! You are the same as your fucking asshole cousin. She dumped Carlos, a wonderful guy as if he is nothing and you're going to do the same to me."
"Is that an assumption?"
"No, it's experience." James explains. His heart is racing, blood pulsing through his enraged body. "Every guy I dated, no! Every hot guy I dated was a douche bag. Now I have Logan and he is never going to leave me! He won't cheat on me."
"He won't love you." Kendall sings; his tone enrages James further.
"Yes he does."
"Ask him." Kendall simple says. "If you're so sure baby boy Logan will love you, then there is no problem with Logan saying he loves you."
"And he will."
"Assuming? Or is this from experience?"
James groans, pulling his hair. He hates how Kendall is getting in his head. "Stop acting like you know everything. Do you want to fuck me or something? How do I know you won't leave me like everyone else?"
"Well one, I don't mind your melodramatic life. Have you seen my cousin? If I can live with her, I can put up with your problems. And two, you're pretty and I have a thing for pretty boys." Kendall licks his lips once more but quickly sighs and shrugs his shoulder. "But judging from my ten-minute experience with you, I know you won't give me the time of day."
James shakes his head, thinking that Kendall is just trying to seduce him with his cool, aloof charms. But no, it won't work this time; not like the time it worked when his last boyfriend, Dak did it.
"No! I have a loving boyfriend. Logan loves me and I can prove it. Logan will say it tonight. I am going to take him home and he is going to say 'I love you'. And then you can eat your sexy smirk because I don't need you."
Kendall chuckles and crosses one leg over the other, sitting on the beaten couch. He opens his mouth, ready to say a quick quirk but they hear someone yelling from inside.
"MY CARLOS!"
James' face drops and Kendall shakes his head at the victory. The athlete stands up and pats James' shoulder. "Well, it sounds like you win. I guess we won't have that amazing sex after all."
"Get off me!" James pushes the hand and sees Logan stomping out.
"I want to go home!" Logan yells.
"Good, me too!" James concurs and briskly runs with Logan down the block.
"Wait!" Carlos runs onto the porch, feeling confused. He looks at Kendall, hoping for answers but the blonde winks.
"Your Logan is interesting and James's pretty." Kendall jokes before walking back in.
...
"Carlos is mean." Logan huffs, crossing his arms. He puffs his cheeks, staring at the ceiling as he and James begin to sleep. James remains silent, fixated on the white ceiling as well. The model reflects on what Kendall said, is Logan his source for happiness or an easy boyfriend?
"I didn't get to watch Barney without that mean girl bothering Carlos. Who is she? She is not my friend or my mommy. I don't want her." Logan continues ranting, rustling in the covers.
James sighs, his mind clouded with his own problems. "Hey Logan, you remember what I said about love?"
"Yea. Why?" Logan turns to his side, facing his troubled boyfriend.
"Do you love me?" James asks straight and forward. He wants to prove Kendall wrong, which doesn't make sense. James barely knew the guy for more than ten minutes and yet he feels the need to vindicate himself.
"I live and sleep with you."
"No, love is more than that. Love is being with that person and never wanting to be with anyone else. Do you love me like I love you?" James elaborates, eye intently focusing on Logan's petrified face. The tiny brunette stiffens which tells James one thing, Logan doesn't love him like he loves Logan. A tear rolls but in the black of the night, it's concealed. James breathes in, air choking in his throat. "Never mind Logan. You don't have to answer." The hurt brunette closes his eyes, wanting to explode. He wants to yell and scream, release his pain and frustration. On whom? Logan? Kendall? Carlos? himself? He doesn't know.
"Hey James?" Logan scoots closer to him, hovering over James' face. "What is the opposite of love?"
"Hate." He quickly answers, knowing long winded answers will cause him to lash out. "Just go to sleep."
"I hate Sam."
James doesn't respond, pulling the blanket closer over his curled body. Logan pouts at James' coldness and returns to his side of the bed. "I hate her because she loves Carlos and Carlos loves her just like that picture."
"They are not in love, not like you know what love is," James spats the second remake, the rage in his voice starting to come out. "Just go to sleep."
"Ok," Logan sighs and closes his eyes. He sees that picture, Samantha purges her lips like a duck, cheeks pressed against Carlos' with huge smiles plastered on both faces. My Carlos, is screaming in his head but he can't help think that he is wrong. Carlos is not his, he's Samantha's. "Hey James." He calls.
"Go to sleep," James mumbles into his pillow. Logan sits up, perplexed with his thoughts, an envying frown forming on his face.
"James. I don't want Carlos to love Sam," he cries. "I love Car-"
"JUST SHUT UP!" James finally explodes, shooting up from the cocooned blanket. His face is beet red and his fingers are wrapped into fists with the blanket strangled between his knuckles. Deep pants breathe through his nose as he stares at his boyfriend. And all Logan wanted was James to explain why he loves Carlos. "God! Can you shut the fuck up for one fucking night? I hate that you don't know when to shut you big mouth about Carlos this and Carlos that. Do you know what I think? I think you are a dumb brat. You can't love Carlos. He is not you fucking boyfriend. So just shut up and go to sleep. God!" James breaks his one rule, never to yell at Logan but he had to. It was the last straw and James couldn't take it anymore. Logan broke his boiling point.
The other teen cries; his sniffles are loud and audible. "Carlos said you can't say that word."
"Carlos is not you're fucking boyfriend." James groans. "Go to sleep!" He yells for the last time, no caring if Logan hates him now. The boy won't stop and James had it with Logan's acts and ignorance. They annoy him to no ends and James wants them to stop.
The bed waves and feels lighter. His boyfriend's cries disappear, making the room quiet and tense. But he doesn't care. He knows Logan left, probably to run away into the scary night but James doesn't care. He can't deal with Logan anymore and having him around is just a reminder that no one loves him. Why force a reminder to stay if it scars his loveless existence?
That's why James doesn't care if Logan is gone into the unsafe night. He wasn't here in James' life to start with.
:( Logan ran away. :(. But Kendall :). What do you think of him? Was he helpful to Carlos and a seductive boy to James? ;).
And about Sam, I don't hate her. I just needed a female character and the other showsverse female characters would be too OOC if I added one of them. I hope you like the chapter :).
Please review :).