Author's Note: M-rating for the end of this chapter

Ruth rang the bell at the Pearce manor and felt a flurry of butterflies in her stomach. She had no way of knowing who or what would greet her behind that door, but the Reverend Mother had ordered her to return and Ruth's own heart had begged it from her as well.

As soon as Juliet had asked her if she was in love with Harry, Ruth knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was. And in the days she'd spent without him, away from his home and his children, she ached for him. His smile and his laugh and the twinkle in his eye when he teased her and the low timbre of his voice when they were alone and the touch of his hand and the heat of his presence and the power of his posture and the gentleness of his heart. All of those little things she had come to learn about him through caring for his children. All of those little things that caused her to reevaluate her original poor opinion of him. All of those little things that made her very soul long for him. Yes, she was truly in love with Harry Pearce.

Whether he returned those sentiments remained to be seen. If he didn't, if he still intended to marry Juliet Shaw, Ruth would do as she was told and care for the children until Harry found a new governess. But if he did, oh if he did! Ruth wasn't sure how she would react to such a declaration from him, whether she would faint in surprise or leap into his arms and kiss him or any of other embarrassing displays of her overwhelming affection and desire for him. Only time would tell.

The front door opened, revealing Dimitri's handsome face. He broke into a smile upon seeing her. "You're back!"

"I'm back. Is Harry in? Where are the children?" she asked.

"Harry's in his study. The children are in the nursery. I think Malcolm might be up there with them."

"Thanks." Ruth put her suitcase down and gave Dimitri a hug. "It's so good to be back. I've missed it here. I've missed you all."

"You've been very missed, too," he assured her.

Ruth hurried up the stairs to see Catherine and Graham. As conflicted and confused as she was about Harry, there was no question in her mind about how she felt about his children.

As soon as she opened the door, they both ran exuberantly to hug her. "Ruth! Ruth, you're home!" they squealed.

She laughed at their excitement, touched nearly to tears at their affection. "Yes, I'm back. I heard you came to visit me at the abbey yesterday and I was so sorry I couldn't see you. I've missed you both so much." Ruth bent down to hold them both in her arms and shower their little faces with her kisses.

Malcolm, who had been playing with Catherine and her animals, put Sam the rabbit back in his hutch and came over. "It's so lovely to see you, Ruth," he greeted warmly.

"And you, Malcolm. I'm sorry for my hasty departure, but I'm glad you've been here in my absence," she replied.

Graham was hugging Ruth as tight as he could and pulled away only to say, "Ruth, it's not the same without you. Are you going to stay forever now?"

She stroked his curly blonde hair. "I'll have to talk to your father. Is he in the study?"

Catherine nodded. "He's always in the study now. He plays with us and takes us on outings, but then he goes in his study. I think he's sad."

Ruth's heart skipped a beat. "Surely he's spending time with Juliet, too."

As if on cue, Scarlett wandered into the nursery wagging her tail. Catherine went to pick up the little dog and told Ruth, "Juliet left. But Scarlett lives with us now."

What all that meant, Ruth wasn't quite sure. The trepidation and confusion must have showed on her face. Malcolm smiled softly and offered, "I'll stay up here with the children if you'd like to go talk to Harry."

Ruth nodded. She promised Graham she'd be back to play with him soon and prized his arms off her. She closed the nursery door behind her and hurried down the stairs. When she reached the study, she paused, unsure of how to go about all of this. If Juliet was gone, what did that mean for her? Did she dare let her heart dream? Should she be brave and profess her feelings, or perhaps allow Harry to take the lead?

With a steadying breath, she opened the door, not bothering to knock. Harry looked up and his jaw dropped. "Ruth!" he exclaimed. She saw a hint of pleasure in his surprised expression, which she took as a very good sign. She closed the door behind her and locked it. Heaven forbid anyone in the household barge in and interrupt what might possibly be the most terrifying but important conversation in Ruth's life.

"Hello, Harry," she greeted softly. He stood up from his desk chair to approach her, but she held out her hand to stop her. "No, stay there. Stay seated. That's…familiar."

Harry sat back down.

She swallowed hard and blurted, "The children said Juliet left."

A sly smile crossed his lips. "Yes, she went back to Paris. She didn't want to stay with a man who is in love with someone else."

Ruth's heart was thundering in her chest. "A-are you?"

Harry's smile widened. "Yes, but she left because she's going to marry God. And I am very good, but I can't quite compete with that."

In spite of her, Ruth had to chuckle at that. The sound, however, got a bit strangled. She cleared her throat and dared to take a few more steps toward him, standing beside his desk, closer than she'd ever been to him as he sat in that chair. "What if she wanted to return? What if she made a mistake by leaving? What would you do then?" she challenged.

"Then I would ask her why she left in the first place, why she didn't say goodbye, and why she wanted to return," he replied softly. "Might she give me those answers?"

Ruth averted her gaze to her shoes and back up at him, trying and failing to school her expression. "She might tell you that she was confused and frightened by what she was feeling, and she didn't say goodbye because she knew she wouldn't be able to say it to your face. And she wants to return because she adores your children."

"Only my children?"

"Not only your children." Her voice came out as a whisper now. The tension in the air between them was thick with emotion, each one waiting for the other to take the final leap.

Harry broke the silence, reaching out to take her hand from where it rested on his desk. "Ruth…"

"Yes, Harry?"

Their eyes met. A thousand and one things passed between them in a single instant. Ruth felt as though she may burst from the flurry of emotions, the fullness of her heart, the aching need this beautiful man inspired within her. "Ruth, I…" His words were cut off as she fell into his arms and on his lap, her lips pressed to his.

In an instant, he pulled her close and moved his mouth over hers with a hungry urgency she'd only dreamed of. His every touch lit her aflame with desire. She held his face in her hands, keeping him anchored to her. His tongue traced her lips and she opened her mouth to him, moaning as he deepened their kiss.

Eventually, he had to pull away so they could both catch their breath. "I love you," he said, finally finishing what he'd intended to say a moment before.

Ruth inhaled sharply in disbelief. She buried her face in his neck, reveling in the feel of his strong arms encircling her. "This cannot be happening to me," she murmured, muffled against him.

"And why can't this be happening to you?" he asked, pulling her back to look at him.

"I suppose I just feel like I haven't done anything to deserve this sort of happiness. The very idea that you could love me…"

"I do love you, Ruth. You are brilliant and kind, you've taught my children and me how to be happy, and you are the most beautiful, charming, perfect woman I've ever known. It is I who does not deserve to have you here in my arms."

She pressed another kiss to his lips. "I love you, Harry," she told him, realizing she hadn't spoken the words aloud to him.

The look of sheer joy on his face was a sight to behold. "Then I suppose we both must have done something good to deserve all this."

Ruth kissed him again, because she could, because she never wanted to stop. The way he caressed her lips with his own, the way his tongue tangled with hers, it was better than she'd ever fantasized. Needing more, she shifted on his lap and hiked up her skirt so she could straddle his hips. Harry groaned and moved his attentions down her neck. She moaned his name over and over as she ground down on him, feeling his hardness against her. But it wasn't enough. She wanted him. She needed him.

She reluctantly pulled away to stand up. With her face flushed and her breast heaving, Ruth kicked off her shoes and reached beneath her skirt, removing her stockings and knickers.

Harry's eyes went wide. "Ruth, what are you…Ruth, you're a nun!"

She laughed, "I was, until today, a postulant only. And need I remind you, I did go to university before I joined the convent. I know what I'm doing, Harry. And I've dreamed of doing exactly this while you sat in that chair of yours."

He shuddered with lust. "Christ, I love you," he groaned, pulling her back to him by her hips.

"And I love you, but please don't take the Lord's name in vain."

But when he found the hem of her blouse and pulled it over her head and began pressing open-mouthed kisses to her stomach, she lost all power of coherent speech. Her bra soon joined the rest of her clothes on the floor. Harry pulled her back onto his lap, his tongue swirling over her breasts. Ruth's head fell back and she moaned in appreciation. It had been so long since a man had touched her this way—actually, no man had ever touched her this way. Harry was absolutely incredible. She could feel his love for her in every movement.

Eventually, she was able to unbutton his shirt and run her fingers over his bare chest and down to his belt and trousers. Harry watched her with awe as she freed his hardness and stroked him. He opened his mouth, presumably to make sure this was what she wanted, but Ruth didn't give him to opportunity to speak. She sank down onto him, slowly sheathing him inside her. His lips uttered nothing but her name in a needy moan.

Despite how long it had been, Ruth did indeed know what she was doing. She adjusted to his rather impressive size and kissed him messily as she began to lift herself up and come back down, riding him faster and faster. Harry gripped her hips to help guide her. They moved together, finding a delicious rhythm. A sheen of sweat quickly covered her skin as she worked to find their release. She could feel herself built higher and higher and finally the waves of pleasure crashed over her. Ruth gasped his name as she shuddered and trembled in his arms, and a moment later, she felt Harry join her.

They collapsed against each other. Ruth was breathing heavily, her face pressed against his neck again. Harry's hands covered the expanse of her bare back, gently tracing the ridges of her spine.

"I love you," she told him again, pressing a kiss to whatever part of him she could reach.

His embraced tightened slightly and he whispered in her ear, "Marry me, Ruth."

Ruth could feel every cell in her body at that moment, bare as she was with Harry still nestled inside her. She sat up to look into his eyes, finding only earnest expression there. She traced the lines of his cheeks with her fingers. "I think perhaps we should discuss it with the children first," she answered with a smile.

Harry leaned in to kiss her again. Ruth was ready to tell him yes, and she was rather certain the children would insist upon it. But for now, she wanted to stay exactly where she was as long as she possibly could. For the first time in a very long time, she had something good, and she intended to enjoy it.

The End