It was absolutely ridiculous. Cas was ridiculous. This song was ridiculous. These were all things Cas truly believed and yet despite this Cas was listening to All I Want For Christmas Is You on repeat on the way to the coffee shop with a smile on his face. Thinking about Dean while trying to fool himself into thinking he was not thinking about Dean.

The song was awful but he hummed along anyway, happy that his cousins weren't with him today and he might get to have an actually half decent conversation with Dean.

Dean. Dean. Dean. All he seemed to think about lately was Dean.

It was silly really, listening to this song, letting himself fall for Dean despite knowing that he probably wasn't interested, even if everyone insisted he was. It was all so silly and yet Cas couldn't help it. He liked Dean. He really really did.

Cas thought about the conversations that he might have with Dean while he walked and listened to the (their) song. He was so excited. And then it all came crashing down.

At the counter was Lisa Braeden: beautiful, popular, nice, funny, Lisa Braeden. Cas had heard that Lisa had liked Dean and that Dean had liked Lisa but nothing had ever happened between them. Nothing Cas knew about. Lisa was one of Jo's closest friends. Maybe she was there only to see Jo or to even buy coffee. Cas thought he'd heard somewhere that people actually went to coffee shops to do that instead of stare at people they liked but he didn't quite believe it.

He'd almost managed to calm himself down when he heard Lisa start laughing hysterically, Dean was laughing too and smiling at her, leaning across the counter as if he was trying to get as close to her as possible even with the counter in the way. From what Cas knew about flirting (which wasn't much) Dean and Lisa seemed to be exhibiting all the signs: the laughing, the smiling and the staring at each other. Lisa was playing with her hair and Cas' heart just about broke when he saw Dean reach across the counter and touch her wrist.

At that moment he considered turning around and leaving but Jo had spotted him at the door and was grinning at him, not noticing that his heart was breaking.

Deciding against leaving Cas took a seat at a table, which he never did, and pulled his phone out to look like he was busy texting someone. He didn't feel silly anymore, he felt absolutely pathetic. To think he thought Dean might like him, that they were getting close, that when Dean listened to All I Want For Christmas Is You he might be thinking of Cas like how Cas thought of him as he listened to it. It was all so pathetic.

He turned the music off but kept the headphones in.

"So are you going to order anything or are you going to just stand there and look pretty?" asked Dean. It was like being told Santa isn't real.

"You should have a caramel cappuccino," suggested Jo, "There Dean's speciality." She elbowed Dean's side and looked over at Cas. Dean felt so stupid for not realising that Cas was there yet. He wouldn't why he hadn't gone to the counter like usual.

Cas genuinely felt like he'd asked santa for a first edition of pride and prejudice and had received 50 shades of grey for Christmas instead.

Dean was making Lisa his drink: his drink. Suddenly it dawned on Cas that everything that had happened between them over the past 10 days that had become so important to Cas was just a part of every ordinary day to Dean. Nothing important, just background noise in Dean's perfect life.

"Hey Cas, Dean made you this."

Jo put his caramel cappuccino on the table. It had writing on the side 'Cas. I hope you weren't finally going to order something different today.' Then there was a smiley face.

"Thanks Jo." Cas gave her the money for the cappuccino to avoid having to go to the counter, despite the nice message he still didn't feel any better.

"Are you okay?" she asked knowing that he wasn't.

He looked behind her towards Dean and Lisa, "Not really, see you tomorrow."

Jo put a hand on his arm but he just smiled at her and then turned towards the door to open it; before he left he turned around to look at Dean.

Dean was staring back. "Hey Cas!"

"Bye Dean."