EVIL TYRION
"Do you not think Porkchop deserves a knew name, Bryien?" said I said to her, kissing her.
"aye, m'lord, this one seems too generic."
"I;m thinking Hamstein." (getit? Because der is a band name ramstein and except the name is changed with ham).
"A worderfull name, m'lord!" me bak. We were sitting at a river and it was just me, Birnne, Catleny and hamstein. We were drinking the water in the river and it tasted salty. WE KNEW IT WAS BECAUSE OF BLED from the war.
"*Sigh* There's a king in everty corner nowadays. Stannis, Robert, Baloon, Tywin etc." said Brynan.
"heh… how many are there? I've lost count." I said smoothly. Suddenly, Catelyn eyed me and got all angry.
"Seriously, Tyrion, what da fuck is wrong wit you? This war is called the war of FIVE kings! Don't you know anyfing? Or is ur brain shrinked like your body?!1"
"Wow shut ur hoker mouth catelyn. We saved you from execution and this is how you treat me? Maybe I should lop ur head of now!"
"No Please!" she yelped as I began 2 draw out mien knife…
EDDARD
"This cannot be… my guards… you weren't supposed to let that whore leave!" I yelled so angry that I almost had an aneurism.
"My lord—"
"SHUT UP VARYS! DON'T SPEAK NOW CATLENY IS GING 2 TELL EVERYONE THAT A 14 YEAR OLD GURL STOLE MY ANIME COLLECTION! IT IS GOING 2 RUIN MY REP. AND WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT VARYS? YOU SIT BACK GETTING ALL FAT AND STUFF AND BETRAY PEOPLE AND WHY WON'T YOU DIE? PYCELLW GET ME MILK OG THE PIPPY AND CALL SANSA AND BRAN IMP DAEMON AND ARYA WE ARE LEAVING TO GO ACROSS THE WALL!"
"Eddard, please reconsider your accusations…" said Varys and littlefinger came in.
"I did not say any Lord Varys, be sure to note that… Yes, I'm going across the wall and I'm taking all of the other Starks and Imp Daemon with me besides Catleyn because she is a hoker bitch.
"Whatever you say, we will rul in Winterwell while ur gone."
"Very god."
I was preparing for da trip and so wax me family. I made everyone put on some clothes that I had boughten of hot topic and eBay that were anime and pop culture themed. For instance, Bran was wearing a shirt that had a doge meme on the front while Arya wore some Hogwarts leggings. But that was under TONs of pounds of fur I made them ware for the cold wether. Me I just wore a hoodie w/ a kitten prnied on the front. We packed salt beef and ~10 gallons of milk of the poppy because I had 'knee pain'. Pycelld somehow let us take all that stuff bc he was old and stooped and only liked da royal people. Imp Daemon also wore a leather doublet under a bear fur clouk. He put on a balaclava, it was black and grew out his brienne for the occasion. We got on sum horses and set off (Bran is not cripple in dis story.).
It was snowing lightly like Catelyn's head and it was making me aroused. I just forgot about her and stuff bc she cheted an mii. There was grass on the ground (basically imagine da first episode in s1). And it was really green. The mares we mounted were rally cute and good for riding. The trip to the Wall was just how I had hoped.
(Sorry 4 tha long weight. Bean playing too much SSB4!)) Remember 2 reiview.!