A new chapter! Enjoy reading :).

10. Come to your senses

It turned out that my blood pressure wasn't too high, it was too low instead. And my bloodpressure was causing my vertigo plus that nice headache before the vertigo and after. But it isn't really dangerous, or so Addision told me. She said that it was probably there because of my baby, which means it will go away after I give birth- hopefully. She also said that it would almost be normal to have hypotonia during the pregnancy.

After my appointment I ate a piece of cake and on my way to Planet Blue I called Ashley and Lauren as I stopped at a red light. Lauren had to work and met up with Jason after wards, so I only had Ashley left. She told me that she would come after her meeting in Burbank and we would met up at Planet Blue.

In the end we didn't only shop at Planet Blue, we also nearly bought the whole Urban Outfitters and Kitson. After our shopping trip we went to Coffe Bean & Tea Leaf to have a nice cup of coffee - well for me it was just tea.

"My feet hurt." I said as we sat down.

"So what has happened?"

"Why does always has something to happen for us to go shopping?"

"The last time we went shopping together you told me you sent him the divorce papers, the time before that you told me you were pregnant and the time before that you had just left your husband. So any questions?" She said and gave me that Just-already-tell-me look.

"Alright fine. I'm having a girl!" I said and she nearly screamed.

"Oh my Gosh! A girl? Really? You're having a girl!" she said and hugged me, "Wow, you have gain weight…"

"Are you saying I am fat?" I said and felt near to tears.

"What? No! You're not fat. You're not a size XS any more but definitely still a size S!" she said with an innocent smile on her face.

"I am a size M now. Oh my Gosh, you do think I am fat. Just because I am pregnant." I said , faked a tear and looked at her worried face, "Okay so what do you think of it? I mean, could I tell him that way?"

"Tell who?" she said and I was silent, "Wait, is there more than the news that you are having a girl? Is he back?"

"You were constantly on the phone with him, not me."

"Nah, just those two weeks you spent in my house. Scott wanted you to go."

"Really?" I asked her shocked.

"Nah, I'm just playing with you." she said and laughed.

"Oh you are so mean!"

"So is he back?" she asked me after we both took a sip of our hot drinks.

I nodded, "I think so."

"You think so?"

"I… We…"

"Oh so there's a we now?"

"No! There's a we as in me and her." I said and pointed at my stomach.

"Right. So where does he stay?"

"In a hotel… I think. I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

"Because he spent the night at my apartment."

"He did what? Why? How? What?"

"Okay, okay take a deep breath and think before you talk."

She took a deep breath and thought for a couple of seconds, "When did he come yesterday?"

"He came today."

"When exactly?"

"1 in the morning."

"No Way! Why?"

"Because he got the divorce papers one week earlier than he should and yeah he did sign them after a long fight, but he ripped it apart after wards. It's difficult."

"Yeah it sounds kinda like it. So.. what are going to do now?"

"Drink my tea." I said with a smile on my face before I took another sip.

"I'm serious, Gabriella."

"Look, I don't know, okay? I am not holy Mary!" I nearly yelled at her, "I'm sorry. It's been tough days lately…" I apologized.

She hugged me, "I know honey. Everything's going to be fine soon."

"I'm not sure I can ever forgive him, Ash."

"I know…"

"Would you?"

She shrugged, "If I were having his baby, I would. I mean, I would do it for the baby if not for me."

I nodded, "So you think I should tell him?"

"It's your decision not mine. I can't tell you what to do."

"Urgh, this is frustrating." I sighed and was silent for a couple of seconds, "I don't want him in my life anymore. When I am with him lately all I feel is pain and anger…. and sometimes… Sometimes I feel nothing when I think of him. Absolutely nothing. No pain, no anger, no love, no happiness… just nothing." I answered honest.

Ashley looked into my eyes, "Nothing, huh? Well this certainly isn't a good sign for a Troyella come-back, if you ask me."

"You can't be serious! You really want us to be back together again?"

She shrugged, "Maybe you should give it another try."

"I've invested way too much in this relationship if you ask me."

"You knew it would be complicated from the moment you met him. Business trips and late-night-workings aren't an excuse if you ask me."

"Well then how about cheating on me with another woman?"

"Maybe you guys needed it."

"Ashley, what has gotten into you? Oh wait, let me guess: You decided to be rather on his side instead of your best friend's side here!" I said and got up. "I'm not giving this another shot and you know it."

"I just want you to think about it, okay?"

"No! There's nothing to consider. There's nothing to think about. Nothing."

"Gabriella…"

"No! Don't start with it now. Leave it." I said and grabbed my bags, "Call me whenever you have come to your senses again." I added before I walked out of the café.

There was no way I would forgive him! No way I would ever give him another chance, after I have given him so many. I need him to leave me alone, if not, then there's no way for me to have a normal life. I can't live with him, so I need to built a life without him. I need him to let go of me, just like I have with him. I need him to go back to London, so I can stay in Los Angeles. I need him to start working again, so I can do my work. I need him to go without any words, so I can tell him mine. I need him to say nothing, so I can say everything. But most of all… Most of all I need him.

I need him to need to be with me.

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