Bella
I couldn't get out of the car. I couldn't face Charlie and Emmett. Rose had promised that she would stay by my side the entire time. She promised that I was safe and didn't need to worry but I couldn't help but worry. They would hate me and they would be disgusted with me. They didn't hate Rose because everyone loved her. She was perfect. I couldn't be perfect if I tried.
Rose told Emmett that we would be riding home together so he didn't need to wait for us. Now I wish I had gone with him. I wouldn't be having to do this right now.
"I don't know if I can do this," my voice wavered. I looked at my house, seeing Emmett's monstrous Jeep and Charlie's Range Rover in the driveway.
This was the one day Charlie was home for the day. He had to be at the office for the rest of the week because of some big business meeting. I didn't want to ruin his day but If I didn't tell him now then I probably never would.
"Bella, you don't have to tell them all of the details, just say what you're comfortable with."
I shook my head. What if I wasn't comfortable with any of this?
"Bella, it's obvious that something has happened. You have problems and I mean major problems," she said bluntly. Thanks for stating the obvious. "I'm not trying to be mean but you need help. You can't deal with this on your own, you need to talk to someone."
"They'll just judge me. That's what-"
"Have I judged you?" She raises her eyebrow.
I shake my head. "Well, that's, different."
She lets out an airy laugh. "You're just making excuses now. I know that this is hard and is difficult but trust me. I'll be with you the entire time."
Rose was right. She'd be with me and I wouldn't be alone. I could do this. I had to do this. I couldn't live my life in fear any longer.
"If it gets too much, just tell me and we can leave. They'll understand."
"Are you sure?" I whisper. Tears are already forming in my eyes and I could feel my racing heart. I was going to be sick.
Rose didn't need to answer. I already knew.
"Say that again," my dad whispered in a deadly calm voice.
The football game was muted and the Chinese food on the table was forgotten. Emmett stood by the door with his arms crossed against his chest. His eyes narrowed and pressed his lips into a thin line. He was furious. I shuddered against Rose and moved my eyes away from him. Emmett looked scary. He didn't look like my brother. He was too angry.
"Mom, um, mom hurt me. She thought that I was trying to ruin her relationship." I hastily said. "But I wasn't! I wanted her to be happy and I tried to stay out of their way but she would be so mean and I-," tears poured down my face. My throat was sore from all of the crying. I was so weak.
"Isabella this isn't your fault. I'm not angry at you," Charlie said in a soothing voice. I tried to control myself and grabbed onto Rose's hand for support. She had been by my side the entire time, rubbing my back, calming me down.
"Did Renee ever physically hurt you? Did she threaten you in any way?"
I nodded my head, looking like a bobblehead. "She would slap me when she was annoyed with me or if she'd just had a bad day and sometimes kick," I whispered. "She told me that if I told anyone that nobody would believe me and I'd be arrested. I would be sent to a worse place. I was lucky to be with them is what she said. They were being kind."
My dad let out an angry sigh. He ran his hands through his messed up hair, trying to process what I was telling him.
"They weren't being kind, Bella," Emmett suddenly said. "I hope you know that. Kicking and hitting your daughter is not kind. They manipulated you so they could keep hurting you. That is not what kindness is."
"I'm sorry…" Rose puts her hand on my knee stopping me from continuing the sentence.
"You don't need to apologize Bella. You have nothing to be sorry for."
I don't respond. It was in my nature to apologize. I was always the one who screwed everything up. I was the reason we were so poor. I was the reason Renee and Laurent fought. Everything was my fault so I had to apologize. That way they would hate me a little less later.
"Rosalie is right. You are not the one to blame," Charlie said. "I want to ask you something but I need you to be completely honest with me."
I nod my head, hearing the serious tone in my father's voice.
"Did Laurent ever touch you in any way?" He says through gritted teeth, "inappropriately?"
Emmett sucks in deep breathe. My eyes widen and it physically feels as if my heart had dropped to my stomach. The room becomes blurry from the tears that had filled my eyes and I turn to Rose.
"I want to leave," I urgently said. "I want to leave right now. I don't want to do this anymore!"
My throat was raw and sore as I sobbed at the top of my lungs. I didn't want to think about what Laurent had done to me. I didn't want to remember all the times he held me down while I bled and begged for God to end my suffering. I couldn't tell my father and brother this.
Except they already knew. They already knew what he did to me because I had just unwillingly told them.
I let my body slump against Rose as the energy left my body. I couldn't do anything anymore; I was numb. I close my eyes hearing the voices of people around me.
"Don't crowd around her," a voice said. Everything was black and it felt as if I was floating in a sea of nothingness. I wished I could stay this way forever. I had never felt calmer. Living was too complicated; too loud. I wanted permanent silence. I wanted to be alone. But all too soon, I started to become aware that I was no longer alone. I was coming back to the land of the living and I did not like that. I wanted to stay gone.
"Should we have called an ambulance?" Someone asked urgently.
"I'm staying here, Carlisle. I'm not leaving her."
"Why hasn't she woken up yet?"
There were too many voices. Too many people. They could do anything to me while I was unconscious. I wouldn't be able to stop them. The thought sent shivers throughout my body and I couldn't help but panic. My heart beat erratically and I struggled to open my eyes. I couldn't though. I was too tired.
"She should be waking up any time now. I think she was just very overwhelmed." That was Carlisle. "Bella, can you hear me?"
I didn't want to wake up I didn't want to have to deal with everyone. I didn't want to face Charlie and Emmett after what… what happened.
"Bella, sweetie?" A feel a hand touch my cheek. It's warm and soft. Without thinking I lean into the hand, trying to feel the warmth. I was always so cold.
"Bella? It's Rose," concern flooded her voice.
Knowing, I've held off as long as I could, I find the will to open my eyes. It was dark in the room. The curtains were drawn, keeping out the sun. I was laying on my soft bed. I felt warm and safe and secure. Rose was next to me. She promised that she wouldn't let anyone hurt me. I grabbed onto her hand, not wanting her to leave.
"Bella," she said in relief. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears that she didn't want to fall. She reached to me, brushing the hair out of my face.
"I'm ok," I whispered. I clenched the blankets in my hand, trying to control my emotions. My father and brother knew what Laurent did to me. I couldn't face them after this. I felt like throwing up. As weak as I was, tears escaped my eyes.
I was far from alright.
"Don't cry," her soft voice said. "Nobody is judging you. Nobody blames you."
I shook my head, not believing her. I was weak and a burden. It wasn't fair that everyone had to put up with my problems. It would be better if I wasn't here. I wonder if anyone would notice if I just disappeared?
"Rosalie is right," someone said from beside me. I whip my head to the right only to see Carlisle and Charlie standing further away.
Where was Emmett?
"It is that monsters fault. He took advantage of you and forced you to do what you wanted. There was no way you could have consented." My father responded passionately.
His voice was firm but filled with love for me. More tears spilled from my eyes. Nobody was ever this kind to me. I was always the slut. The whore. That's what he should be saying to me. I could have said no but I didn't. This is my fault. Instead, they were calling him the monster. There was no shouting. No hitting. All words of kindness. This wasn't right.
"Can you try sitting up for me?" Carlisle asked. I nodded my head and pushed myself upright, avoiding his outreached hands.
Everybody's eyes were on me and that immediately put me on guard. I didn't like everyone being in the room. They were too close for comfort. I just wanted Rose. She was safe. She wouldn't hurt me. But I didn't say anything I was thinking. I just stayed quiet and let them do what they wanted to do. It's what I always did.
"Bella…" Carlisle started. "You're father told me what you told them."
My heart drops to my stomach. Did everyone know? Did everyone know how much of a slut I was? It wouldn't be long before they started passing me around. I meant nothing to them.
"You shouldn't be angry with your father. This is something that I needed know, the abuse that your mother and Laurent put you through is unacceptable. We need to hold them responsible."
"My mother is dead," I spit. "Why can't we just forget about this?"
"Laurent is still alive and he needs to be held responsible. Think of how many other people he could hurt."
I shake my head, not caring where the fuck he was. I just wanted him to stay away. I was fine as long as he was far far away.
"Bella what he did was illegal and whether you like it or not, we've got to tell the police."
What? No!
"You-you, can't do this!" My voice screeched. A new batch of hot tears flooded from my eyes. I yanked at my hair trying not to throw up. This couldn't be happening. Why is this happening?
"Rose, please help me. You can't let them do this. You can't let them-" I desperately pleaded to her. I could only guess the crazy look in my eye.
"He'll find me. He'll find me and then I'll never be able to escape him," my voice was dire.
"Bella, the police are very good at their job. They'll find him and he'll never be able to reach you." Charlie said.
"You don't know him," I whispered. "You can only find him when he wants to be found. He's a master at hiding. He's done it many times before."
"We will keep you safe. I won't fail you again." Charlie's voice broke.
Officers Newton and Hunter sat across from us in the living room. They declined drinks and food. They were all about business. The woman, Officer Hunter, looked as if she'd never smiled in her life. Her deep curly red hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. She was young but the frown lines permanently etched into her face made her look twenty years older. She had been through the wringer. She sat up straight with her knees folded over one another.
I didn't like her.
On the other hand, Officer Newton had a kind but sad smile. He had greying blonde hair and I could tell that he'd been doing this job for a long time. He looked tired but not worn down. He was a man that was dedicated to helping others.
"We are going to talk about the allegations you've made against your mother's boyfriend. We can either do this with everyone present or if you feel more comfortable alone, we can do that." Officer Hunter stated with no emotion.
I bit my lip, knowing that I didn't want my father or Carlisle present. I knew it hurt Charlie that I didn't trust them but he had to understand that every man I'd ever come in contact with, broke me beyond belief so I wasn't about to let him in. I didn't care who he was.
"Can Rose just stay?" They nodded and my father looking dejected, left the room with Carlisle.
"Bella, just take your time and if you're ever feeling uncomfortable we can stop if you want. Do you understand?"
I mumble a yes.
"How about we start from the beginning. Maybe talking about your mother first will help us understand fully." Officer Newton proposed. "Can you tell us when your mother first hit you?"
Images filled my mind of my ninth birthday. I hated that year. That is when everything turned to hell. "I was nine years old. It was a year after my parents divorced and Emmett went to live my dad."
"Emmett is your brother?" Officer Hunter cut in.
I nod my head.
"Everything had been mostly fine the first year. My mom seemed to be a little sad and tired more but she still loved me. We still spent all of our time together and she constantly tried to distract me from the fact that she was struggling to make money. We were poor, something that we'd never been before."
"What happened when you were nine?" Newton asked.
"It was my birthday and she'd been distracted all day. I asked my mom if we were getting a cake for my birthday because it seemed as if she'd forgotten. I expected her to say yes but instead, she slapped me in the face. She told me that we didn't have enough money to get a cake and I'd have to live without it."
"That was the first incident?" Hunter asked.
"Yes," I whispered. Rose patted my hand. I almost forgot she was in the room.
"How did you react?"
My voice shook as I said, "I was shocked at first. I didn't understand why she would hit me. My mom was the least violent person I knew. The next thing I knew, I burst into tears and ran into my room. I didn't see her the rest of the night."
I stare at the recording device on the table with the green light flashing. I explain all of the other incidents in graphic detail. From the first time she hit me to the first time, she called me a bitch to the first day she brought Laurent home.
"Do you think Laurent was in love with your mother?"
I snort. What kind of question was that? "Of course he wasn't. You didn't need to be smart to figure that out. She was so obsessed with him that she didn't realize that he was using us. He got to live in a free house with free sex. Anytime he wanted to use me, he could. I couldn't stop him if I tried. He knew that he was stronger than me."
"It's alright," Rose whispered in my ear. My body shook with anger. I was angry at the world. Angry at myself. Angry at my mother. Why couldn't I just get a break? I didn't want to live in this fucked up world anymore. Nothing was ever going to change.