Patience truly pays off folks! My assessment got handed in a day early, go me! Unfortunately real life is catching up with me again, I've landed myself a job after nearly a year of looking and still have a bunch of uni work to do. I had a little bit of bad news at the weekend as well, so having a bit of a rough time :(
Hopefully I'll be able to update again later in the week.
The light filtering through the drapes was soft, surrounding them in sleepy glow and the apartment around them was quiet, as though it was holding its breath. They were timeless that morning, speaking in hushed voices to fill in the shrinking gaps in their knowledge and relearning things that were once forgotten. It felt to Cas as though they were exposing parts of their souls, piece by piece without fear of rejection or judgement. They were a mirror image of one another as they lay facing, on their sides, Dean would trace his waist, trail light touches up his neck, twining fingers through his hair. Dean himself was subjected to a thorough examination from Cas' hands over his chest and torso, touching on scars old and new. If he could, Cas would have preserved it in amber, stopped the clock ticking and lived in that moment forever. It couldn't last, soon they'd have to get up, go see family and friends, get back to work. So they indulged in each other, their time would be better spent that way anyway.
"I wish Jo was here," Cas mused, Dean's hand in his, "She would be so happy right now."
"Yeah, she would, once she'd gotten over telling us 'I told you so' a hundred times." Dean grinned, "We're idiots aren't we?"
"You're the idiot, I told you years ago that we belonged together. Ah the stupidity of youth!" This earned him a playful punch in the arm, "But yeah, even six months ago I would have laughed at the thought that this-" Cas waved a hand between them, "-would happen. Jo wouldn't stop talking about it though, for the last year anyway."
"Really?" Dean looked perplexed, "She wouldn't- she refused to talk to me about you. She said I didn't deserve to know- I had no right to ask." he whispered, "She was right, she was always right about us." Pain and loss warred across his face.
"She was always right." Castiel, leaning into Dean's warmth. "I couldn't have done it without her, lived my life. She was rather belligerent, refusing to allow me to wallow in self pity like I wanted. She forced me to socialise, meet people, make friends. It was never the same… I could never connect with anyone like I did with her but I tried, I wanted to make her happy." He shook his head, smiling slightly. "She was amazing."
"She loved you so much Cas. She didn't speak to me for two years you know?" Dean chuckled, "I'm sorry Cas, I'm sorry for everything that happened between us. If I could go back and change it…" Dean was pensive, wrapped up in his own thoughts. He almost jumped out of his skin when Cas broke the silence.
"When we talked about you, she always took my side at first but then she turned devils advocate. She'd tell me to see it from your point of view, how hard it was for you with all that pressure on you at school and your dad being... himself, looking after Sam… She used to badger me for hours." he let out a frustrated little laugh, "She wouldn't let it go, you know. Kept telling me we were soul mates, that we belonged together. I guess I couldn't fight her anymore, couldn't take the strain of resisting." He reached for his pants, pulling out a crushed soft pack and his cell phone, scrolling through it, then turning the screen for Dean. His cell number was cushioned between Charlie and Doctor. "I was working up the courage to call… I didn't think you'd want me to. Even with all of Jo's assurances, I was so sure you'd reject me again."
"How long have you had that?" Dean felt like his heart was trying to break from his chest.
"I dunno, a month?" Cas shrugged.
"Damn." Dean shook his head wonderingly, "So what did she say when she sent you it?"
"She told me to stop being a pussy and take a chance." He laughed.
"And I gave her shit for not giving you my number!" Dean looked suddenly mortified.
"You told her to?"
"Well yeah, I told her if she wouldn't talk to me about you, then you could do it yourself. I thought she'd lied when she said she'd done it. Never thought you'd pass up the chance to hand me my ass."
"Never underestimate the power of cowardice!"
"In another reality you called when you got that number and we got laid."
"You only want me for the sex. Well, that and my naked body." Cas pouted.
"And if you insist on being naked in my bed, then I'm going to want to do this…" This time when their lips met it was Dean who initiated, Dean who took control and pulled Cas into his arms, held him steady as the world tilted precariously around him. He clung to Dean, allowing him to claim what had always been his. His heart pounded, chest freezing and head spinning. This was everything. When Dean ran his tongue over Cas' bottom lip it sent shivers down his spine and straight to his groin, Dean ran his hands over his ass and suddenly he was eighteen years old again, desperate and begging. Needing Dean like he needed the air he breathed. When they finally parted he was wearing a triumphant grin and drawled, "See, my bed my rules."
Cas felt shaky, somehow he'd lost the upper hand that he'd always maintained in relationships. He could only nod in agreement at Dean's statement and allow his mouth to be plundered once more by Dean's tongue. The momentum of the kiss had him pushed down on the bed, locked in Dean's grip, hands trying vainly to find an anchoring point. He could feel Dean relishing every unfamiliar tremor that ran through him, every inch of skin that goosebumped under his hands. Cas didn't fight it, it felt far too good to have Dean take like this, to relinquish control and know that he was in safe- if somewhat rough- hands. He could feel every twitch of Dean's hardening cock against his, pulling his arousal to attention and driving him crazy as they rutted together.
"I might just keep you here… tie you to the bed and never let you out of my sight." Teeth closed around his left nipple, pulling an indecent moan from the back of his throat. Dean had him pinned by the hips, running his mouth and tongue along his abdomen and ignoring Cas' now rock hard cock that was begging for attention. "You and your delicious cock. I'm sure I could find something that would serve until I found the right cuffs." Another bite, this one to a hip bone. Cas was barely coherent. "Would you like that, Cas?"
"Oh fuck." breathy and willing, he couldn't mask it in his words.
"I'd come home every night and just sink back in. Bet you're so fucking tight."
"Dean…" He felt like the words were being pulled out by Dean's filthy mouth.
"Always on top. Always in control." Dean's lips skimmed his erection, their eyes connected, "You must be dying to try something new Cas."
"Anything." and he would, anything to keep this feeling, to let Dean stake his claim. Dean smirked.
"Anything?" Eyebrow quirked and that smirk still fixed in place, "Hmm… I can think of a few tricks I've picked up." He purred, crawling the length of Cas' body and pressing their groins together. Cas let out a huff of breath at the contact, "You want this?" he was warm and genuinely giving him a choice, if Cas said no now, there would be no hard feelings.
"Yes." He was so wound up, so ready to just lay back and let Dean have his way that the question seemed superfluous. Saying it aloud was less easy, "Just, yes. I- I want it to be you. Yes."
"Good." And just like that Dean's weight on him was gone, sat back on his knees he positioned one of Cas' legs and had him flipped in seconds, he was on all fours, ass in the air, in the middle of Dean's bed. Dean left the bed for a second, retrieving supplies from the floor where the'd been abandoned last night, Cas expected to hear the pop of the lube's cap, the feel of Dean's callused fingers tracing his entrance. He was bracing for the cold touch of lube when something slick and warm brushed against him, making all of the air vacate his lungs in one loud whoosh.
"Dean? Is that-" Another brush, his arms shook under his weight, it felt- just- "ohmigodDean!"
"I thought you might like this particular trick." Cas couldn't answer, Dean's tongue resumed its ministrations, coaxing a groan from his lover when he traced the edge of his entrance. Cas was twitching, shuddering from the intense pleasure that Dean was forcing him headfirst into. He wasn't surprised when his arms gave way beneath him, if Dean hadn't had his hips firmly in his grasp they would have followed too, he buried his face in the pillows and let every sound he'd been holding back be buried there with him. When that wicked tongue finally pushed he felt like crawling away, the sensation was too much, too good, and the fact that Dean was making appreciative noises right back at him… The sound of the lube opening was lost on Cas, but the slick hand that crept between his legs and fastened around his erection wasn't. He wasn't burying his face anymore, he was panting and moaning, feeling every part of him wanting more. Dean's tongue wasn't enough, he needed friction, he wanted Dean.
"Please. Need you- Want-"
"I know," Dean pulled away again, running a soothing hand against his thigh, "Soon, I promise. I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't care! Please?" When did he get so desperate? Dean had left him completely. Cas heard the squirt of more lube being added but instead of tensing, instead of trying to evade he pushed backwards presenting himself, begging for more. "I want you to fuck me Dean. Fuck! Need you to. Can't wait for you to fill me up."
"Jesus. Who's in charge here?" Dean asked with a chuckle, "Your wish is my command Mr Novak."
The first digit slid home without an ounce of resistance Cas let out a contented sigh, it was different, yes, but not bad. It was a testament to Dean's incredible tongue that another finger was added in less than a minute and with almost as little notice, Cas felt relaxed and loose as Dean scissored him gently letting him accommodate the size for a moment before bringing a third into play. That one, he felt. His muscles were contracting around the fingers as if just noticing the intrusion, there was a blank feeling as though forcing them apart had taken something away. Cas took a deep breath, trying to relax, to accept the feeling then move on, but it was difficult. As though reading his mind, Dean peppered kisses at the base of his spine and let his free hand trail back to Cas' erection, coaxing and leading him to relax.
"You're doing so good, so so good." He mumbled into Cas' skin, "I'm gonna go slow okay?" Cas mumbled a yes into the crook of his arm, concentrating on the hand around his cock. "So good Cas… You're so beautiful right now." Dean gave him another few seconds of steady breathing before the fingers moved, slowly and gently, spreading him further and reaching perceptively deeper. Thats when he felt it. A soft brush of fingers that sent a wave of warmth straight to his abdomen, his hips locked and he hissed out a breath. Dean did it again. Warmer, his muscles relaxed around the fingers and there was another pulse of heat. Cas hadn't realised he'd started pushing back, fucking himself between Dean's hands. "Fuck. How're you doing Cas?"
"Do- do it again." He was seeking out Dean's fingers, trying to find the overwhelming spark that they pulled from his depths, needing the friction. Dean did it once more, abandoning his erection and pulling their bodies flush.
"I know what you really want Cas," Dean was rock hard against his ass, letting the sparks fly from his fingers once more, then taking them away. "And I'm gonna make sure you'll never get enough. Fuck, I've fucking dreamed of this." He could feel Dean working himself, spreading lube over his length for him and fuck if he was edging back again, wanting to be filled, wanting it to be Dean and only Dean who ever got to do it. "I love you Cas. I love you so much." And finally there was Dean, lining up and sinking unhurriedly down into him. It was hot, and big and weird but deliciously good.
A moment that lasted forever he was still, waiting for some form of permission. Cas shot a glance over his shoulder expecting Dean to be seeking affirmation, but he wasn't looking at him, his head was hung low, eyes closed and lips pressed into a firm line. "Dean?" he sounded totally fucked already, voice hitting a lower register than he'd ever heard.
"I'm okay, shit! You're so fucking tight Cas."
"Just- just move okay?"
Dean nodded, eyes still jammed closed, he moved his hips minutely. Those earlier waves of warmth were blown from Cas' mind when Dean set a steady rhythm, slowly moving within him. There were flames that were spreading outward from the point their bodies joined, fueled by the push of Dean and the give of Cas, catching and running over every inch of his body, warming him from inside out and making sweat break out on his chest. Every slick inch of Dean was mounting pleasure that he'd never imagined, never even known he'd wanted until this moment.
Dean was panting, groaning behind him and sending sighs of pleasure into the warm air. He wished he could see, could lift his head and watch Dean come apart, but the sensory overload the was so completely overwhelming that only Dean's strong hands grasping his hips were keeping him upright. They moved together, bodies rocking and matching eachother thrust for thrust. Cas felt like he'd been waiting every day of their eight year estrangement to feel this, to be one part of the whole.
He was being taken hard and fast, being pushed closer to closer to his climax under Dean's tutelage. That forbidden bundle of nerves was being thoroughly punished. Cas could barely contain the noises falling from his mouth, grunts and whines were projected into the crook of his arm and were answered by Dean's own groans. The tight pressure was building in his abdomen, familiar but a million miles from what he was used to had seized him in an iron grip and dragged him headfirst to completion. Cas couldn't help it, he fucking howled into the silence, hearing Dean pant heavily through his own orgasm, hips stuttering to a halt anď leaning heavily against Cas' thighs. It wasn't much of a surprise when Cas fell forwards, dragging Dean down with him. A bubble of laughter escaped his lips, breaking the post coital buzz in two, drawing a laugh rumbling from Dean's chest.
"Fuck!" Another chuckle fell from Dean's lips, "that was..."
"Mmmh." Cas wriggled below him, face still buried in the crook of his arm and Dean still deep within him. The throb of his climax radiated out from where they were joined, heat licking across every inch of his skin while Dean nuzzled his shoulder, peppering him with tiny kisses as his orgasm eased away.
Hours passed with them wound around one another, drifting in and out of sleep. They talked and kissed, ignoring the minutes slipping by and counting down to the moment when they'd have to make the big decision. Cas put it at the back of his mind, throwing himself into the seconds that remained and into enjoying Dean's willing body below him.
R+R to feed the plot bunnies!