My Stanton lies over the ocean

My Stanton lies over the sea

My Stanton lies over the ocean

Oh bring back my Stanton to me

… er… it'll make more sense later…

"Mwahahahahaha!" Malachite cackled maniacally. "PREPARE TO DIE!" His eyes widened in glee to take in all of the attention that his sudden schizophrenic outburst had provided him. He frowned, following their expressions to a crazy looking Stanton. The fact that his pants were still engulfed with capes didn't contribute to his sanity either.

"Serena", he waddled over to her, arms spread out like eagles'. She cocked an eyebrow.

"Are those capes or are you just happy to see me?"

"Capes", he responded, obviously embarrassed. "Er… long time no see!"

She rolled her eyes. "You called me a bitch, Stanton"

"Who me!" He gasped in mock astonishment. "Never! I'm all for respecting the bitches. I MEAN whores. I MEAN chicks!"

"Chicks!" She roared. "That's the best you can do?"

He scowled at her. What more did she want! "Why won't you just listen to me?"

"I'm not taking you seriously until your arms touch your sides again"

He grumbled. When she wasn't pigging out on pie or sicing rabid raccoons on him, she was taunting him and playing his mother. "Fine!" he sighed, and attempted to reach for his fly. "Can't… reach it. Too… full".

Serena groaned and reached for the zipper. That is until Vanessa came ramming into her, sending her flying across the room.

"LET ME!" She boomed and started to tear at Stanton's zipper.

"AGH!" He roared. "Get it off! GET IT OFF!"

Vanessa's eyebrows furrowed. "I got it down some, but now it's stuck".

Catty shrugged. "Try pulling it up again. It worked on Tymmie". Everyone stared at her suspiciously before averting their attentions back to Stanton's fly.

"Alright", Vanessa nodded and zipped the closure back up again. Unfortunately, that wasn't all she zipped.

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stanton wailed. "Zip it down! ZIP IT DOWN!"

Vanessa wrestled with it. "I can't! It's stuck!"

Stanton moaned. Stupid dollar store. He was never shopping there again. "OH! THE PAIN!"

"Do something!" Serena screamed over his tortured wails. "He's gotta have my babies!"

"This is gonna hurt", Jimena strutted over and to Stanton and grabbed at the zipper.

"NO! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" He watched as she pulled back. "ARE YOU CRAZY WOMAN! No. NO. NO! No- AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!"

They all gawked in amusement as Stanton rolled around on the floor. However, amusement easily turned to restlessness, as he had been at this for ten minutes now.

"Will you sit still!" Serena scolded.

"I wish I could", he muttered. Apparently the combination of the round shape of Stanton's ass, due to the capes, and the absence of friction on Vanessa's clean, hardwood floors rendered him helpless. The scouts and daughters bolted out of the way as the human bowling ball raced towards them, and what should be standing behind them, but a stairwell. They all flinched as Stanton went cascading down the stairs, disappearing into the living room.

"VANESSA!" Mrs. Cleveland yelled from downstairs. With that, everyone including the villains raced after Stanton.

"Where did he go!" Vanessa inquired breathlessly, reaching the bottom of the stairs.

"You mean that nice boy?" Her mother smiled up from her fashion magazine. "He sailed right out of the front door, I believe. Seemed to be in a bit of a hurry too".

Serena smacked a hand to her forehead. Stupidity no doubt ran in the Cleveland family. "Let's go", she whispered and darted out of the front door.

"There goes Morgan", Vanessa pointed out.

"And?" Serena asked. The last thing she wanted was an audience with Morgan.

"Too late", Catty muttered as Morgan came strutting their way.

"Like what are you doing here?"

"Maybe because she lives here", Serena motioned towards Vanessa. Vanessa scratched her head. This was obviously news to her.

"Whatever", Morgan tossed her now purple hair back over her shoulders. "Shouldn't you be with your weirdo boyfriend? I just saw him rolling down the street just a second ago".

Serena took her by the shoulders. "Where was he headed Morgan! Where!"

"Er… towards Hollywood Boulevard?"

"Let's go!" she roared and marched on towards Hollywood Boulevard.

"So…" Jimena crossed her arms. "Where is he?"

Serena put a hand above her eyes, protection from the smoldering sunlight. Her eyes scanned through the crowds, the theaters, the stores, until finally… "There he is! At that hot dog stand!" They all stared blankly as they watched Stanton hand his money to the vender as he rolled up.

"Noooooooooooo!" He moaned dejectedly as he rolled away before he could receive his hot dog.

"Get him!" Serena roared as they made their way through various crowds of people.

"Stop right there!" Zoisite commanded, halting them in their tracks.

"What us it noooooow?" Usagi groaned.

"We… er… what were trying to do again?"

Malachite stopped to pull out his "to- do" list. "Ah, yes. We were working at world domination".

"Are you serious? I thought that was Tuesday"

"Nah. Tuesday is brownie day"

"Mmmmmmmh. Brownies…"

"Anyhoo!" Malachite began, only to find that they had lost their audience. "Damn! Not again".

"Where could he be!" Serena pulled at her crimson bangs.

"Over there, maybe?" Jimena offered, pointing to the remains of an ass rolling into Planet Bang. At this, they all sprinted through the line of teenagers, using Serena's powers to enter without a wait. Finally they could make out Stanton sailing through the crowd, hundreds of hands holding him up. A hard rock band flew dangerously over the stage, when Stanton suddenly the crushed the banjo player. There was an awkward pause at this before the rest of the band continued on. They were a rock band. What did they need with a banjo anyway? Upon sight of Stanton, they began to sing such hits as, "Papa was a Rolling Stone", "Rolling on the River", and "Rolly Polly Ollie".

"STANTON!" Serena screamed as she watched Stanton on stage, shaking his ass the best he could under his circumstances. "I'LL SAVE YOU!"

"I'm afraid it's too late for that", Malachite appeared out of the blue. "Now prepare to die!"

"Why do you keep saying that! And you know he has your capes!"

Malachite turned red at this. "My… capes? W- why does he have my capes!"

"Why do you think his pants are so big, dumbass?" Sailor Jupiter roller her eyes.

"M- m- my capes!"

"Breathe honey", Zoisite soothed him. "Breathe".

Serena shook her head and turned back to the stage. "Damn! He's gone!" She took hold of a punk kid. "Where's Stanton!"

"You mean that fat kid? Oh, he went with Obie's band. They liked him so much, they took him with them".

"Where did they go!"

"God! Take a chill pill, lad-"

"TELL MEH!"

"…….the beach…"

"Just great", Serena sighed and stomped her feet.

"Stanton!" She called, staring out into the azure horizon. "Where are yoooooooou!"

"SIS!" Collin called. "What are you doing here!"

"Looking for Stanton".

"Oh him? He's over there". Collin pointed out towards the ocean.

Serena cocked an eyebrow. "Where?"

"I dunno. But he had some guts taking on the waves like that. And without a surfboard?"

Serena's eyes widened, panic taking her features. "GIVEMEASURFBOARD!"

"Huh?"

"GIVE ME A SURF BOARD!"

"Er, okay, we have red, gold, blue, purple my personal favorite, orange-"

"JUST GIVE ME ONE!" She boomed snatching a black board.

"SERENA WAIT!" Collin called out as he watched his little sister race across the sand. "THE PAINT HASN'T DRIED YET!"

"Whatever", she shouted back, obviously not understanding him.

"This could be bad", he thought to himself. "Ah…. Oh, well". He pranced off to other side of the beach to see what Jimena was doing.

"Must… keep… balance", Serena muttered as she soared atop the waves. "STANTON! OH STANTON!" She grimaced as the waters began to rush in faster. She would have to change her position. However, in attempt to move her feet, she realized that they were plastered to the foundation. Panicking, she started to scream. "COLLIN! COLLIN!"

"Do you hear something?" Jimena asked.

"Nope!" Collin beamed placing a flag upon his finished sand castle.

"COLLIN!"

"Serena! Is that you?"

She spun around to see Stanton clutching on tightly to a buoy.

"GRAB ON!"

"Okay". Reaching out, she managed to take hold of it. Then suddenly, it turned over. "WE'RE TOO HEAVY!"

"No way", Stanton glared. "No way am I gonna be like Jack".

"What?"

"I'm not gonna sacrifice myself cuz your fat ass can't fit on the big door".

"Huh?"

"I found it first!"

"Stanton, what the hell are you talking about!"

He rubbed at his head. "Sorry… pull down my pants"

"I don't think we have the time for that"

"No! I mean so I can get the capes out"

"Oh…" Smiling sheepishly, Serena reached over to yank at his pants. Unfortunately, she yanked a bit too hard and they went sailing off somewhere in oblivion along with the capes.

"Aw man…"

"Sorry", she grinned. "HEY… why are you wearing a thong!"

His eyes widened.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!

Just so you know, the relations at the end to a "Jack" was the Titanic guy who sacrificed himself at the end of the movie so Rose could have the big door. 