Toy Fic

10. Out of the Dryer

Bonnie marched through her room, tightly gripping Woody and Buzz.

"We're on a mystic adventure!" she proclaimed. "An adventure to find the key that will bring happiness to the universe for a million million years!"

She set down Woody and Buzz, quickly whispering "One moment!" as she did so, and brought Mrs. Potato Head into the scene, along with the Aliens. She had the three of them surround Mrs. Potato Head and squeezed them one by one, as hard as she could.

Bonnie then returned to Buzz and Woody and had them stand powerfully over the Aliens. "Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman?"

The Aliens turned around one by one. "Um… yes."

"Oh, what sad times are—"

As Bonnie gestured, Buzz's feet knocked into a pitcher of water she'd prepared for the playtime. The pitcher tipped and rolled, and its entire contents emptied out… onto Jessie.

Bonnie gasped. "Oh no!" she said. "Oh no oh no oh no oh no—MOM!"

"What, honey?" Bonnie's mother called out.

Bonnie picked up Jessie and ran from her room. "Mommy, I got Jessie so, so wet!"

As soon as Bonnie left the room, Woody and Buzz sprang up and peered out the door. Bonnie's mom took Jessie from her and looked her over.

"Oh, it's only water," Bonnie's mom said. "Too much to air-dry, though… we can run her through the dryer. Let's do it right now."

"Okay," Bonnie said, still barely breathing. "Okay… it's okay…"

Woody and Buzz returned to the room, where the other toys were gathered. "Is she gonna be okay?" Rex said. "Are we losing her?" He grabbed Woody by the shoulders and shook him hard. "Tell me we haven't lost her already, Woody!"

"She'll be fine," Woody said.

"But the dryer…" Hamm said. "Is that safe?"

"Absolutely," Woody said with complete certainty. "I've taken a few runs through a dryer myself, it's nice in there. Jessie's going to be just fine."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

A half-hour later, Bonnie returned to the room with a newly dried Jessie—evidently having stood there for the entire cycle. "Oh, Jessie," she said, "I'm so glad you're okay! I'm glad I got to put you in there, because you smell good, and you're just so warm!" She snuggled Jessie, then took a pillow from her bed and set it on the floor in front of the toybox. "I'll put you on your special pillow so you can sleep!" Bonnie said. "You must be so tired."

"Dinner, Bonnie!" her mom called.

Bonnie scampered away, leading to all of the toys gathering around the pillow. Jessie slowly, shakily got to her feet.

"Whoo!" she said. "I thought I was in deep trouble there for a second."

"How are you feeling?" Rex asked.

"Great," Jessie said. "A little loopy, but great."

Jessie staggered onto the bedroom floor, holding out her hands for balance and bracing herself for a fall.

"Where is Buzz? Ah, there's my Space Ranger…"

Jessie stumbled, toppling right into Buzz's arms. "Hey," she said, grinning, her eyes unfocused.

"Hey, Jessie," he said. "Wow, you are warm…" He put one hand on her hip, and held Jessie's hand with his other.

"Yeah?" Jessie said. She looked him carefully in the eye. "You know, you've got big hands and a tiny head."

"What?" Buzz said.

Woody laughed. "Still dizzy… I think you should lay down, Jess."

"No," Jessie said. "I wanna play! What are we doing tonight?" She tried to stand up, but tipped right back onto Buzz. "Hey, Buzz," she whispered.

"What?" Buzz whispered back nervously.

"You ever wish we were… you know… anatomically correct?"

Buzz jumped. "Um—ah—let's get you back on that pillow." He lifted her up and began walking back.

"Well, do ya?" Jessie said loudly.

"Um, no," Buzz said, still keeping his voice down. "Because then we wouldn't very well be toys, would we? And—"

Buzz stopped short, in his speech and his walk, when Jessie licked him across the face. She giggled, and he quickly cleared his head and continued to the pillow.

"And if we were…" Buzz said, setting her down. "If, in some other world, we were real people… I'd still be an honorable Space Ranger, who would never take advantage of a woman who's just gone through the dryer. Now go to sleep… close your eyes."

"Okay," Jessie said, her eyes glazing. "I guess I am sleepy."

"Good," Buzz said. "Get your rest."

He began to walk away, then he heard a faint "Hey, Buzz?"

Buzz turned back to Jessie. "Yes, Jessie?" he said.

"I love you."

Buzz's eyes widened, and he inhaled deeply. He walked back to her and knelt down. "I love you too, mi flor del desierto," he said. He kissed her gently on her forehead. She was already asleep.

He turned to walk away again. What in the world is "flor del desierto"? he wondered. Where did that come from?

It didn't matter, he decided. They'd said it.