Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me
One more chance to keep you satisfied
I'll keep you satisfied
.
Loosening his tie slightly, Brian climbed out of his car and slammed the door. Just as he looked up he frowned, noticing his wife's partner shrugging on his denim jacket that he never seemed to be without as he quickly bounced down the concrete steps of what used to be his family home. Brian stepped back a little hoping to stay out of sight, he glanced at the door, Olivia gave Elliot a small wave and a smile as she watched him leave, wearing her long dark robe around her frame. Her hair flowed down in its natural, wavy state.
Why the hell had Elliot been there?
He waited a few minutes, anger boiling in his veins as he stared up at the house. Today of all days, Elliot fucking Stabler was the last person he wanted to see walking out of his house.
Taking the steps two at a time, Brian breathed deeply before banging his fist against the door a few times and waiting to be let it. After what he just saw he didn't want to risk Olivia getting angry with him for letting himself into what was now her house.
"Bri…" Olivia smiled, he could see the sadness in her eyes as she pulled him in the door and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"Hey" He cleared his throat, pushing the thoughts of his wife and her partner that he couldn't stop rolling around in his brain at bay. "How's it going?"
She gently pecked her lips against his in a soft kiss, her fingers scratching against the growing stubble on his cheeks. "Okay" She nodded "I just need to get dressed, Casey is gonna keep the kids, my Mom is just gonna meet us there"
They had both agreed that their five and three year old children were too young to attend their grandfather's funeral. Especially since it would be an open casket, much to Brian's dismay.
He never wanted to see his father in that way. Cold, unmoving and lifeless and he'd be damned if he was going to let his children share that experience, the last thing they needed to see was their papa lying cold as a stone in a wooden box.
Brian just nodded in agreement, following Olivia into the living room "Are the kids here?"
"Yeah, they're upstairs. Casey said she'd keep them here, maybe take them to the park, keep them busy you know?" She explained as she busied herself with clearing away a couple of mugs that were sitting on the coffee table.
He clenched his fists against his eyes, imagining the scenarios that could have happened just moments ago. In the back of his messed up mind he knew Olivia would never cheat, but that never stopped him wondering over the years if her close friendship with her partner had ever led to anything more.
"I'll go and see them" Without a look back he took off up the staircase in search of the two greatest people in his life.
Ever since he could remember Brian had always been hesitant about having children, forever wondering if anyone would ever love him enough to want their child to be half of him and his awkward persona. The moment that his life changed, the day Olivia had called him crying, saying the needed to talk had been the most heart-stopping, terrifyingly exciting moment in the world. He bolted to her apartment, half expecting her to break off their relationship because she had found someone else or she just didn't care anymore but no, she was pregnant. Eight weeks pregnant with their son.
His heart burst with joy as he heard the cheerful giggle of his daughter echoing through the upstairs corridor. Lennon's bedroom door was open, just a little bit, enough that he could hear what his kids were saying but not enough that they knew he was there. Listening to their child-like chatter he sat on the floor, leaning against the wall beside the white painted door with 'Lennon' spelled out in multi-coloured letters.
Brian pulled his knees up to his chest, his hands resting out in front of him as he quietly laughed to himself, listening to Zach putting on a girly voice, playing tea party with his younger sister, doing anything he could to keep her happy when he knew his parents were going through a hard time. His son definitely had his mother's personality, forever putting everyone else before himself. Even at the tender age of five, he knew exactly how to read people.
"What are you doing?"
He whipped his head round, watching Olivia standing at the top of the stairs with her hands on her hips, a smile gracing her features. "Listening" He whispered, pointing to his daughter's bedroom door.
.
Olivia turned as the bedroom door opened "Hey, can you zip me up?" She turned back to face the window and grabbed her hair, holding it away from the back of her black dress.
Brian stepped closer, admiring his wife's figure, a flash of Elliot running his hands over her body crept into his mind and he cursed himself stupid for even thinking she would do that to him. He softly rubbed his hand over her hip before grasping the tiny zipper and sliding it over her back, pushing his lips against the soft skin of her neck as he went.
"Bri…" Olivia moaned lightly, turning in his arms, her fingers gripping his grey tie as he trailed a path of kisses up her neck to her ear.
She pulled on his tie, her left hand sneaking into his black suit jacket, pulling him closer to her, his hard, muscled body slammed against her smaller one as he slid one hand to her neck and fused his lips with hers. Their tongues battled hard, quiet moans fell from her lips as her husband slipped his hand over her hip, slowly making its way to her thigh and lower, gripping the edge of her black dress.
"Bri, no…" She mumbled, grabbing his wandering hand.
"What?"
"We can't, the kids are down the hall…"
"Never stopped you before" He joked, earning a light slap on the arm and a smirk.
"Casey will be here soon…"
"Again…never stopped you before"
"Just stop, Brian!" She said louder, her voice firm as she backed away from him and grabbed her black clutch bag, quickly double checking her phone before dumping in the leather purse.
"So you can screw your partner but you cant even kiss your husband? Nice…" He muttered, roughly rubbing his hands across his face. He knew it was the wrong thing to say, especially today of all days but he couldn't help it.
"Excuse me?" Olivia whipped round and glared in his direction, her mouth open slightly "What the hell are you…"
"Hello? Liv?" They were interrupted by the redhead letting herself in, they both glared at one and other, both full of anger and hurt but were pulled away when the excited voices of their children shouted down the stairs to their 'aunt' Casey.
"Whatever…" Brian muttered as he yanked the door open, plastering a smile on his face as he picked up his son and threw him over his shoulder and gently took his little girl's hand and walked her down the stairs, Zach's excited yell's almost bursting his eardrums.
.
After saying a quick goodbye to Casey and the kids, both Olivia and Brian left the house and headed for his car after having arranged for them to all meet at Brian's mothers for the funeral cars.
"Hey, what the hell was that back there?" Olivia grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her.
"Liv, I'm about to bury my dad, just leave it," He replied solemnly as he grabbed the car keys from his pocket and climbed into the drivers' side.
"No" She replied angrily "Don't you fucking dare do this to me, Brian. You know how much your dad meant to me so don't fucking use him as an excuse to accuse me of cheating"
Brian stayed silent the entire half hour drive to his mothers house. He parked the car and got out, sorting his tie before giving his sister a wave. Christy, Brian's older sister quickly walked over to the couple embracing them both in a big individual hug
"Who knew that it would take a death in the family to get us all back under the same roof huh?" She sadly joked, rubbing her brother's arm.
"I'm so sorry, Christy" Olivia reached for her sister-in-law once more as they walked towards the house.
He watched as Olivia embraced his family and they welcomed her in with open arms despite the fact that the couple were almost divorced, sort of together, basically a mess is what their current status was, a flaming hot mess.
After quick hug with his Mom, Brian walked over to the cabinet where he knew she kept the good stuff and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels she kept hidden in the back. He turned quickly when he felt a slap on the back and two glasses placed on the table in front of him.
"Sharing's caring"
Brian chuckled and shook his head, elbowing his older brother in the stomach before pouring them both a decent sized shot of the amber whiskey.
.
During the funeral Olivia sat beside Brian who sat beside his mother, his brother and sister on the other side. She reached over when the minister began speaking about how much Michael loved his kids and his grandchildren, she held his hand for a second before he shuffled slightly and pulled away from her.
Her heart thudded in her chest; the tears that were already threatening to fall began to slowly drop from her lashes. She quickly wiped them with the back of her hand. What the hell had gotten into him recently? The last thing they both needed was the extra stress, between losing his father, the will they/wont they divorce and work. Life was stressful enough, especially now that Olivia had received confirmation of more nerve-wracking news.
.
"I think she's cheating on me," Brian admitted, swallowing another mouthful from the beer bottle his brother had handed to him minutes ago.
"Olivia? Dude are we talking about the same person?" Dan shook his head in disbelief as he swallowed his own beer.
"Her partner, Elliot, I saw him coming out of the house this morning before I picked her up. He was there the morning I went over and told her about dad…we're supposed to be working on it but Zach's told me Elliot's been over a lot lately" He sighed "I dunno man, maybe this divorce is the best thing for us…"
"Okay, now I know you're drunk" Dan smacked him on the shoulder "Bro, that woman in there, that woman who after only messing around with you got pregnant and took a chance to make it work, who fell in love with you and gave you two amazing kids, who accepted our messed up family without any questions…that brilliant, gorgeous woman who any guy in the world would be lucky to have, you'd be willing to give her up?"
"If it made her happy then yeah. I don't wanna fuck this up, Danny, but if she's not happy then I'm out. As long as I can see the kids, I don't care"
"You do care, you lying asshole." His older brother scoffed "You've been in-love with her since the day you two met."
"So?"
"What the fuck do you mean 'so'? You guys will make it work; you just need to get your head outta your ass. If you think she's cheating, you ask her. Yeah it'll more then likely piss her off but it's better than not knowing right?"
"Yeah" Brian gazed out to the back yard, the sun slowly setting on an eventful day.
"Christy, get out here and sort out your fuckhead of a brother, he's losing his mind" Danny shouted to his sister who was currently amerced in a conversation with her mother and Olivia.
Olivia turned toward Brian, watching his sullen frame as he sat in the backyard, a beer bottle hanging from between his fingers. The thought of another fight with him made her dizzy.
She paid half attention to the conversation between her mother and step mother-in-law and the other half trained on her husband and his sister who were clearly getting heated, Christy was pissed from what she could see, talking with her hands and it didn't exactly look pleasing. Moments later Christy shook her head and walked away, making her way back to the group.
"Please talk to him, Liv. He's being a bastard"
"About what?"
"I think you two should talk…" The older blonde whispered in her ear "I dunno what the hell happened but he's got some stupid thoughts in his head"
.
"Hi"
Brian turned when his wife's voice filtered through the air. Her voice was hesitant as she stood a few feet back from him, unaware of how his mood towards her was at the current moment, especially after what happened at the funeral.
"Hey" He mumbled.
She took that as a sign of him maybe willing to finally talk to her and she moved toward him, straightening her dress before sitting beside him on the back porch steps.
"Wanna tell me what's up?" She asked "You seem to have pissed off both siblings and from what I can remember it's usually two against one and you were never the one" She smiled lightly at him.
"Didn't you hear? I'm just being a bastard" He grinned and downed another swig of beer.
"Bri, please talk to me" She gently touched his arm, sighing gratefully when he didn't pull away.
Brian's head pounded, from the alcohol, the fact that he had just buried his father or the images of Elliot fucking his wife, he had no idea but he suddenly found the words spewing from his mouth before he could stop them "Why was Elliot at the house this morning?"
Olivia's breath stopped hard in her chest "What?"
"I saw him, Liv." Brian glanced at her, mixed emotions in his slightly drunken eyes "He left just as I got there…"
"He just came to wish us well for today, that's all" She gripped his arm "He sends his condolences and all of that crap that you don't particularly care for" She smiled.
"So you're not fucking him then?"
"God you really are a bastard today aren't you?" Olivia growled angrily and pulled away from him.
"Probably. But when I've got my son telling me that mommy and uncle Elliot are spending a lot of time together, the mind does wander" He tossed back at her sarcastically, waving his hand away from his head.
"Zach said that? Or you asked him that?"
"No actually, he mentioned it. That day you asked me to take the kids two weeks ago? He told me it was because uncle Elliot was coming over to 'help' mommy"
"What so that means I fucked him? What do you want me to say Brian? You want me to admit it? Say that I fucked him on our couch, or the kitchen table? Do you seriously think I would screw my married partner in our home?" Olivia scolded
"I have never slept with Elliot, nor will I ever sleep with Elliot. And you are an ass for thinking that I would." The words fired from her lips like bullets "God Brian, that is our home. We built it, together, you, our two amazing children and me. I would never do anything to jeopardise that."
"Do you want to?" Brian asked after a few minutes of silence
"I'm not even going to answer," She chuckled sadly and shook her head "You need to stop drinking, Bri"
"Why? Because you don't want to admit it?"
"No, because I cant even fathom the idea that my husband, the man who promised me forever and a day, who is meant to love me more than anything would even think that I would want to be with anyone else"
Brian turned away from her and shook his head, emptying the beer bottle by his side; he launched the glass to the other side of the yard. "My head's a mess, Liv." He sadly admitted.
"You wanted a divorce." His gaze pierced her soul. His eyes filled with dread and mourning of the loss of everything. "You know the day I packed up and left? I was awake for three days wondering what life would be like without being with you everyday. I thought about the days that I'd get the kids, how I'd end up being that 'every other weekend' dad and I'd turn up at that house that was once ours and some other guy would answer the door."
Olivia wiped the tears from her eyes as he finally admitted his fears to her "It killed me Liv. Some other guy playing dad to my kids twenty-six days out of the month while I only get four. And on those four days, that guy would get you all to himself and it made me sick." Brian stood and moved to stand within two feet from her.
"I couldn't handle the thought of some other guy giving you the life I promised you because if we'd never been together you might have met him sooner and had the life you'd always dreamed of, the life you deserve, the life I couldn't give you."
"Brian, stop it"
"I miss my wife, Olivia."
"I miss my husband" She admitted quietly, her voice barely audible as tears streaming down her cheeks. "I just want him back, Bri. I don't want anyone else, I never have. You have to believe me."
"I do"
"Do you?" Olivia pushed "Do you really believe me because I need you now more than ever and if we're just gonna go round and round in this circle we're stuck in then I cant handle it"
"Liv…"
"I'm pregnant, Brian…"
.
I don't even know. Please comment and let me know what you think, thanks.
lyrics: Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson
twitter: ahoycinderella