PART THREE: HOLDING ON

CHAPTER NINE:

Sokka dozed lightly, all-too aware of the woman in his arms, her face cradled against his neck, her breath whispering across his chest. Everything was warm, and perfect in its stillness. Toph breathed slowly and deeply, dreaming, he hoped, of happiness.

She deserves it, too. She deserves everything good in her life, he thought, half-awake, his fingers slowly caressing the backs of her shoulders. She felt too thin to him. Thinner than he remembered, anyway. The past several months had clearly taken their toll on her. He opened his eyes and studied her face in the darkness.

She was beautiful. Delicate in unexpected ways, she was small-boned, finely muscled and yet tougher than a mountain when she didn't want to be moved. Her brows were fine, arching and expressive. Her thick black lashes stood out starkly against her skin. Her lips were pale pink, unadorned, but lush. Ripe. A flush still blazed high in her cheeks, a flush he'd caused. Pride rose in him as he lifted his hand and pushed her tangled black hair back from her face. His finger traced the curve of her jaw, marveling at her.

How had it taken him so long to realize how he felt about her? When had she crept up on him? How had it happened?

He didn't know. It seemed to him that one day, out of nowhere, his best friend had turned into the only thing he wanted in the world. He'd been so stupid not to realize it, even back in Ba Sing Se, when everything was confusing and he was still reeling from his break-up with Suki, and the lingering feelings he'd had for her.

My fault. I shouldn't have let her leave Ba Sing Se. I should have realized…

Her words echoed in his head, accusatory, defensive and pained. He examined what had happened, the things she'd said to him about Suki. He could see how she would have thought that he was trying to get back at Suki. Hadn't the two of them been locked into a never-ending cycle of break-up and reconciliation for years? Hurt, pregnant and alone, it was no wonder she was afraid that he was using her, that she'd be hurt. The last time he'd told her that he was in love with her, he'd also promised to marry another woman.

I'm an idiot. I don't deserve her. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how much I love her.

And maybe the way things had happened was for the best. Maybe he'd needed the space away from both Toph and Suki to get his head straight. Maybe if Toph had come back to Republic City with him the guilt and confusion he'd felt would have driven them apart, poisoned what they might have had. He could imagine how it would have hurt her, knowing that he might still be in love with Suki… Unsure if he'd cast her aside… Wasn't that what she'd said, what she had been afraid of?

He pulled her against him a little tighter, holding on, trying to pour his regret into her, his love, his surety. It's her. It's only her. It's been only her for so long. I'll never hurt her again.

He had made his mistakes, a lot of them, and there was no going back. None of it seemed so bad though. Not with her in his arms, the taste of her on his lips, the echo of her words in his head.

She loved him. That was all that mattered right now.

Well, that, and…

He slipped his hand beneath the thin covers, pressing his warm palm against her stomach. Pregnant. She was pregnant. He bit down on his lower lip, feeling the barest flutter of fear in him. Apprehension followed close on its heels. He hadn't lied to her when he'd said he didn't care that she was pregnant, that he wouldn't leave, but he still felt fear growing in him. Fear of the unknown, fear that he wasn't good enough. That he wouldn't be able to give her what she needed now. It was an echo of everything that had gone wrong with his relationship with Suki.

It wasn't that he didn't like children; he'd always been fond of them, especially his niece and nephew. He'd always imagined he'd have children eventually, but that possibility had seemed always to exist in some nebulous future, too intangible any idea to grasp. He thought of the pain in Suki's eyes when she'd put Kya to bed the night before, the yearning. Guilt suffused him. Suki wanted children, wanted them badly, and he had always danced around the subject, afraid to commit. Afraid he couldn't live up to the ideal she had in her head of marriage and a family. He'd been a coward. And it had driven her away.

And now here was Toph, pregnant by some stranger she had sought solace in the arms of one night in a tavern, so ready to take on the world, feeling alone and abandoned. And yet still strong. Scared, but brave in the face of her obstacles. She'd been so terrified that her condition would drive him away… The idea that she would think that of him had lodged inside of him and cut through the shock, the fear in a way nothing else could have.

He didn't know what he was doing. Maybe no one in this position did and that was okay. He was going to be there for her, and the baby, no matter what. He'd just have to grow up, something he should have done that night in Ba Sing Se.

"I love you," he said, rubbing her stomach, as if he could send warmth and love through her skin and into the baby. He didn't know if he was talking to Toph, or the child within her. It didn't matter.

Toph stirred against his shoulder, breathing in through her nose as she awoke with a snort. Her eyes opened and he got lost in the pale green orbs. She breathed him in, probably realizing by the beat of his heart that he was awake. He gently rubbed her stomach, a smile curling his lips.

"Is it morning?" she asked in a muzzy voice, her hand sliding up his shoulder and then gently touching his stubbled chin.

"No. We have a few hours yet," he replied, leaning in so that she could feel his breath on her lips. Her eyes slid shut again and she breathed in deeply, as if she were inhaling him, and the lingering, heady scent of their lovemaking.

"So what are we going to tell them?"

"About what?"

"The fact that I'm straight up preggers."

Sokka chuckled a little, kissing the top of her head. He smoothed her hair back and said, "I find the truth usually works. We'll just tell them we're head over heels in love and that you're having another man's baby and that I'm totally cool with that."

"That's so crazy it might just work," Toph laughed, but then a worried expression crossed her face. "What if they… I mean… I don't care what anyone thinks of me, but…"

He put a finger beneath her chin and brought her face up so that he could kiss the tip of her nose. "Our friends love you. And I know for a fact that Katara's going to lose her mind at the prospect of us having a kid. Seriously, she's going to freak out, but only in a good way. And you know Aang. He's the most accepting guy on the planet."

"Zuko's probably going to be weird about it though."

"Zuko's weird about everything, I wouldn't take it personally," Sokka said with a laugh they both shared.

"What about Suki?" Toph said after a long moment, her voice tired and sad. Full of regrets neither of them could soothe.

Sokka was quiet for a long moment, remembering the look in his ex-girlfriend's eyes as she'd watched Kya sleeping. He sighed. "Suki'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," he said gently and she smiled against his shoulder. "When are you going to tell them?"

"After Katara has the baby, I think. I don't wanna steal her thunder."

"And what about us? When should we tell them we're together?"

"Never. I'd die of the shame," Toph snorted, rolling away from him on the bed. He caught her around the waist and rolled with her. Twice. They landed on the floor in a tangle of limbs and blankets, the sheets twisted around their feet. He laughed as she shrieked, sprawled across his chest, her hip against his stomach. He'd made sure his back had taken the brunt of the fall, but she still looked indignant. "Sokka!"

"Whoopsie-daisy," he said unrepentantly as she smacked him in the shoulder, sitting up on his lap. The sheet fell down her shoulder, exposing one pale pink nipple. The sight of it sent arousal shooting straight through him. "My bad."

"I don't know what I see in you," she said, her cheeks flushing as she felt the not-so-subtle reaction of his body. She was naked beneath the sheet, wet and warm from the night before. His cock twitched with interest. "Oh, that's right. I don't see anything at all."

She waved her hands in front of her blind eyes as he laughed, his hips shifting up off of the floor ever-so-slightly. Just enough to make her bite her lower lip, her fingernails digging into his stomach.

"Those blind jokes never get old," he said, tensing as Toph shifted on his lap, bringing their bodies into alignment with a jolt. She leaned over him, her hair falling across one shoulder. He tried to kiss her, but she moved out of his reach at the last second, a sexy, lopsided grin on her lips. He made a protesting noise in his throat and her hips shifted forward and back, his rapidly hardening cock pressed between his stomach and her soft, yielding center. His fingers dug into her lower back. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are?"

"Do tell," she practically purred, and then pressed a needy kiss to his lips. She tasted of sleep and contentment, her body moving against his, into his. His fingers threaded through her hair, stroking down her back and along her spine. She ground against him, teasing him as he strained toward her wet center. The rough grind, the slick slide of her soft flesh along his cock made him groan, pleasure igniting in his crotch like a blaze out of control. Their mouths parted and they panted against one another's stinging lips.

"I want you so much…" he said in a low voice, though he knew perfectly well that she could already feel how much he wanted her.

"Mmm…I…" she started to say, and then stopped. She sat bolt upright, her hand clamping over her mouth. "Uh-oh."

"What's wrong?" he asked in alarm, seeing how green she suddenly looked. Her body gave a shudder, and not from pleasure. She looked like she was going to vomit and he saw her hand go to her stomach for a split second. Realization hit him as Toph reeled away from him. She was tangled in the sheets though, and didn't get far. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Don't puke! There's gotta be something—"

He looked around the sparse room frantically and spied a hand-painted porcelain vase sitting on the table in the corner. He yanked himself out from underneath the blankets and rolled over on the floor, his eyes bulging as his cock came into contact with the cold stone floor. It was a shock, to say the least.

He yanked his foot out of the sheets and dived for the vase. He dived back toward her just in time to shove the vase beneath her nose. The next moment she let lose.

He grimaced in sympathy as Toph threw up into the vase, her shoulders shaking. She moaned, her eyes watering. The smell of vomit filled the room and he wrinkled his nose, reaching out and pulling her hair back as she took the vase with both hands and practically buried her face in it. Her whole body seemed to curl in on itself as he murmured to her.

"Morning sickness, huh?"

She nodded, coming up at last. She grabbed the blanket and wiped at her mouth. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he said, smoothing her hair back. She'd broken out into a cold sweat, shivering on the floor. "Katara always has really bad morning sickness during the first few months of her pregnancies. She even puked on me once. If I can handle that, I can handle you chucking up in a vase."

"Kinda ruined the mood though," she said miserably. He kissed her temple.

"I'm pretty sure the cold floor ruined the mood, not you," he said with a smile as Toph went still and turned her ear toward the door.

"Someone's coming," she said just as he heard Zuko's voice from the hallway, followed by his quick footsteps. He was practically running.

"Sokka? Toph! Where are you?" he called in a frantic, breathless voice that was edged with excited panic. Sokka's heart lurch, echoing the inexplicable panic in the Fire Lord's voice. "SOKKA?!"

"We're in here," he called, looking around for his pants. "Just a minute, okay?"

But Zuko wasn't listening. The door banged open as Zuko burst into the room, breathing hard. At the same moment, Toph started throwing up again, nearly shoving her whole head into the vase as her stomach rebelled on her. Startled by Zuko's sudden arrival, Sokka jumped to his feet, completely forgetting that he hadn't found his pants yet.

"Sokka! You have to—" Zuko stopped short, his eyes widened as his gaze flicked from Toph on the floor, tangled in the blankets and loudly throwing up into a vase, to Sokka, standing buck naked in the middle of the floor, freezing in place, his hands lifted, palms outward, a grimace on his face. Zuko blinked, his whole face turning as red as his scar—and the welted, fresh scratch marks on his chest and shoulders that Sokka couldn't help notice. Zuko wasn't wearing a shirt, only pajama pants. "Uh…"

"Uh…" Sokka started as Zuko's gaze flicked from his face, down to his crotch and then very quickly back to his face again. "Hey! Eyes up here, buddy!"

Sokka flung his hands in front of his crotch, though his modesty had already been compromised. The shock seemed to wear off of Zuko at last and he jumped, his hand slapping over his eyes.

"You're naked!"

"Yeah…"

"With Toph."

"Yeah…"

"WHY?!"

"You know why!" Sokka said in a shrill voice, throwing out his hands. He squeaked and cupped himself again.

"I probably should have knocked."

"You think? GET THE HELL OUT!" Zuko spun on his heel, his shoulder slamming into the doorframe. He bounced back a step, his hand still over his eyes. He regained his balance and charged into the hallway. Sokka bounded forward and slammed the door shut as Toph's vomiting petered out and she groaned from the floor. Sokka started toward her but stopped as a knock sounded on the door. "Go away, Zuko!"

"I can't! Aang sent me to find you. Katara went into labor an hour ago! She's already with the midwife."

"What? Shit, tell him we'll be right there!" Sokka said, Zuko's earlier excitement and panic infecting him again. He heard Zuko reply, but he wasn't listening. He turned to Toph, who climbed shakily to her feet. "Are you okay?"

"I think I got it all out for now," she said, wiping her hand down her face and then grinning a little. "Katara will kill us if we're not there, you know."

Sokka grinned. "Then we'd better throw some clothes on. I've got a niece or a nephew to meet."