Chapter Nine: So Many Questions
Hatred had returned to him. He'd been angry with his brother the night of his return, and sleep had only fueled the fire. The next four days were spent in seclusion, his words chasing away Sans and Frisk. His gaze often wandered to the books. Papyrus knew he should probably read them. It was the only way he'd know why they were so important.
A feeling overwhelmed his curiosity. It clouded his thoughts. He'd wanted to harm others a number of times. The idea had never previously caused him to smile. Hatred hadn't caused this before, but that wasn't what had brought this on.
No, hatred was not the cause. The skeleton could feel something else within him. A dark, twisted side of him was awake and wanted to have some "fun". The part of him that still clung to reason kept this darkness at bay. For the most part. It was unknown to him how well his roommates were eating. He'd only cooked for himself, and the others stayed away.
Mostly. Now was not one of those times. A quiet knock at his bedroom door was barely audible amidst his chaotic thoughts. How many times did he have to tell them to leave him alone? Not acting entirely by his own will, he rose from the bed, stormed over to the door, and opened it.
"What do you want?" The viciousness in his voice surprised even him.
Sans looked afraid. He couldn't help but find it funny. "J-just wanted to check on you…. And…. A-and..."
"I've already told you. Where I went is none of your business. I've also said not to 'check up on me'. What part of that did you not understand?"
The shorter of the two was encased by a green glow, unable to escape. This new side of him told Papyrus to strike. The victim of his possible attack had around twenty thousand HP. Sans could take a hit or twelve. He stepped forward as he considered the notion. His brother trembled, staring at him as though he were someone else.
He at last came to his senses. Seeing his brother so terrified seemed to have snapped him out of a trance. Repulsed by his own actions, Papyrus let the spell dissipate. The evil had been driven to the farthest reaches of his mind. It remained however, he knew, and felt sick. He gripped the doorframe, overcome by a sudden dizziness.
"Papyrus? Are you okay?"
Why hadn't he tried to figure out what happened? What had caused him to become so aggressive? What could've possibly happened in those three days to make him like the idea of harming his sibling? He still couldn't remember what took place, but at least now he truly questioned it.
It was almost as if something had stopped him before. What had he been under the influence of? Nothing was making sense, and suddenly there simply wasn't enough air. The dizziness refused to end. He could very faintly hear Sans' voice as his grip on the doorframe weakened. Papyrus used what strength he had to make it safely to the floor.
Echoes of a silent voice rang in his skull. So familiar, and foreign. The echoes were comforting, yet they only worsened his fear. He was able to silence them after some serious effort. Where did they come from? Did they have something to do with these events?
The pain in his chest grew with each passing moment. His vision blurred as his brother ran off to do who knew what. First the routine was broken, and now this. Escaping from an unknown being's control, and realizing the severity of the recent events was overwhelming to his frail nerves.
He was unaware of how much time went by before his vision cleared. When it did, Sans was sitting in front of him, holding a glass. Wordlessly, he was given the strangely calming beverage. Any attempt at speech would be pointless until he could breathe. So the two brothers remained silent.
The drink was nearly finished after a few minutes or so. Papyrus was left with the uncomfortable task of apologizing. It wasn't like him to admit to being wrong, to swallow his pride and acknowledge any faults. With the way he had acted since his return however, it felt like an obligation. Despite the fact that he'd not been in complete control of his actions.
"I'm sorry…. I can't truly explain my behavior." He thought about the books, and somehow he knew that they held the answer. "Not yet. I need some time to figure this out."
Sans looked relieved, and crossed the short distance of the hallway to embrace his taller sibling. Papyrus found this painfully awkward. He reluctantly set the glass on the floor and returned the hug. He didn't allow it to last for longer than two seconds before ending the display of affection.
Before reading those books, he went downstairs to prepare more hot chocolate. He was going to need it. A phone disrupted the quiet and he recognized the ringtone as one Sans had chosen. He half-listened to his brother's side of the conversation as it took place in the living room.
"Almost. I know, but…. They will be, it's just that everything's been really crazy. I told you what happened last timeline, and then Papyrus…. But not anymore. Yeah, he's…. Okay, okay, I'm coming! Bye Papyrus! I'll be back later!"
The front door opened and closed before he had the chance to reply. With a sigh, he picked up the refilled glass and made his way back upstairs. He wished his brother would cease associating with that infuriating monster. He again repeated to himself what he always did whenever such thoughts would arise.
If he wants to deal with all that stress, then so be it. It's his decision.
Papyrus had more important things to think about. He had questions, and those books had the answers. Doubt existed in the back of his mind. Did he really want to know? Life could carry on as usual (the newly-created usual) if he and everyone else simply left the matter alone. But what about the Reset? He'd lose these mysterious holders of knowledge. In the end, he figured, why not? It wasn't like reading was going to hurt anything.