A/N: I'm not even going to go into the whole "AHH I'M SO SORRY" bit because you all HAVE to know how awfully, terribly sorry I am. If you don't...are you kidding me?

I've been going crazy here with the delays and all I've wanted to do is write and this shouldn't be up because it hasn't been beta'd but I literallyyyy could not wait any. longer.

So here it is! It really isn't much but I really hope y'all are happy I did something.

Enjoy!

Chapter Song: Warning Sign- Coldplay

Love Mila..

It was my last day in Phoenix. It was also a Saturday. That meant I had to spend one extra unnecessary day in Forks before the school week started with the possibility of seeing Jacob or Edward. Well, that probably wouldn't happen, I was going to be locked up in my room, up to the very last second I could.

I contemplated how in the world I would ever be able to look Jacob in the eyes again. It would be impossible to avoid him, he was the son of my fathers best friend. So seeing as how it would be inevitable to see him again, I thought about the way I wanted to talk to him, and how I would be to him. I wanted to be mean, angry, coldhearted and indifferent but I knew that the second my eyes took in the sight of him I would break down. I would just look at him through my unfortunate tears and wonder how in the world my life got so screwed over. I would wordlessly ask him how he could completely overlook the complete sacrifice and commitment I made for him and how besides that fact, he betrayed my trust and lost his loyalty. Period. I would want things to go back to normal, I would want him to always want to be with me and be my best friend all over again 24 hours of the day, 7 days a week. And as much as I hated to admit it, I wanted him to love me obsessively the way he used to -I knew that under the hurt and heartbreak there was jealousy that he had found his true soul mate- It didn't matter that I didn't love him as much as he did me, I wanted to put my claim on him like I so obliviously did back when I was with Edward. And that was extremely selfish and vain but it was true. I wanted that all back so badly that I knew the second he asked me to forget about everything, I would. I would have given anything to be able to be the aloof, strong and unforgiving victim but I couldn't. My emotions took control of me at the worst moments.

I was sucked back into the present when I heard Renee tapping softly on my open door. "Hey." her voice was hoarse and I could tell she had been crying.

I sighed deeply not wanting to accept the fact that she was actually crying over me for any reason. "Mom, why are you crying?"

She laughed as she wiped the newly fallen tears from her cheeks. "Why wouldn't I be? There's a lot to be crying about considering what you're going through."

"Huh?"

"What I mean is, I have a reason to be crying when the reason you came here was for me to help you, and I couldn't do anything to ease your sadness. I'm letting you go still broken and low." she gasped. "I am so …guilty that I couldn't say a single thing that could've made it better. Not even in the least." she frowned, tortured. "But besides that, you're my baby, and you're leaving. I'm just going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you too, mom. You see, you're my best friend. And the funny part is, you don't understand that you really did help me. You may not have said anything, but just seeing you and Phil and Noah made me so much happier. It also made me realize how much more I miss you guys."

There was a long pause that was full of unspoken sorrow and then she finally spoke up. "What I want more than anything, Bella, is for you too find your way back. I'm going to miss my little girl for as long as she's away- and I don't just mean physically. For as long as you aren't yourself, I'm going to miss my quirky, calm but full-spirited little woman. It seems as though you can't be that way without either having your brain washed and forgetting he ever existed and getting back to normal, or having him back in your life. I'm not going to force you to just get over it, because even if I wanted to, you wouldn't be able to. I just want you to take it one step at a time and live everyday the best you can without having him by your side. Because baby, I know exactly what it's like to feel like you've chosen the worst option possible and the only way to get by is to just mope around because you have no patience for anything else, but it's not going to help you. I hope that the time away helped you, I pray you'll get better sweetie, it breaks my heart to see you this way." with that she kissed my head and walked out.

If there was anything I could compare to the way I felt when me and Edward said goodbye to each other, it was saying goodbye to my family. My home away from home. I hugged Phil tightly and little by little my anxiety and sadness crept up on me. I began silently crying when I had to say goodbye to Noah, it killed me that I had missed so much of his life already and now I was leaving again for who knows how long. "I love you kiddo," I whispered kissing his hair as he wrung his little arms around my neck, refusing to let go. "I'll be back sooner than you know."

"I'll miss you, Bee." he kissed my cheek and pulled something out of his pocket. "I got you present, mommy helped me." He took out a silver bracelet with a heart locket dangling from the chain. On one side of the inside were the words: Noah & Bella: Bee and Kiddo, with a tiny heart engraved at the end, on the other was a small picture of the four of us. My eyes welled up with fresh tears at the gorgeously thoughtful gift. "Thank you so much guys." I said to them all. "I'll see you soon bud." and with that I kissed his cheek and headed off to my mom.

"How much did this cost mom?" I asked, slightly upset that she spent anything on me.

"Don't even worry about it, Bella." she smiled. I knew that face, I knew that face anytime anyone made it. It meant there was some sort of value to what they had done; whether it be money or sentimental.

"Mom," I warned.

"Bella, I'm allowed to buy you things, get over it." That reminded me of something someone I knew would say. Well not exactly like that but among those lines.

"I just-"

"Besides, it was Noah's idea. What was I supposed to say when he told me he wanted to get you something to remember him, no?"

I smiled at the thought of my brother, he would be quite the man when he grew up. And if I knew anything about men, it was how to see them for what they were. Noah would be another Edward …perhaps even better, if that were possible. "You guys are teaching him right." I said, earning a chuckle from Renee. She pulled me into her arms and I could hear her sniffling. "Mom, I won't be gone for so long, I'm sorry I took forever to see you but I'm going to stop. I don't know how I did it for so long, when I get back to Forks I'm going to be insane. You're the only person I've got left." I breathed.

She pulled back, smiling softly through her tears. "That's not true sweetheart, you know you've always got dad, and Phil and Noah."

"Well, I can't talk to dad the way I can to you now can I? And all three of you are back here. I'll only be able to talk to you through the phone or-" that reminded me. "OH! I've got something for you guys!" I shrieked excitedly. I pulled out the $20 webcam I bought at Forks right before coming here and handed it to her. She eyed the camera and then looked at me like I was crazy.

"Uh… Bella, darling.. What in the world is this thingamabob?"

I giggled. "It's called a webcam. You use it to talk to people through video. Video chat. This way we can talk all we want."

She laughed nervously and flipped it over, examining it. "Hmm, well I know you haven't forgotten how bad I am with technology. So, I don't know how this will work out."

"Mom, it's not rocket science. Just plug it into the computer and turn it on. If anything just ask Phil for help installing it."

She finally smiled, appreciating the gift and getting over her technology phobia. "You are too smart."

I hugged her once more, my cheeks becoming moist with tears, and I wondered how much more I had in me. "Love you," I said. She kissed my forehead and wished me a safe flight.

"Good luck with everything, baby. I'm here for anything, please don't even think twice about calling. Be safe, I love you." she said.

With one last, long hug I walked off to my gate, looking back several times at my smiling, beautiful other family.

***

It was already pretty dark when I got home. Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the drive way so I knew he was probably still working. Just as I let myself in and put my bags down, the phone rang. I ran to the kitchen, picking it up on the 3rd ring.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Sweetie, is that you?" I immediately recognized the tired voice of my father.

"Hey dad," I smiled.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're home safe. I'm real sorry I couldn't go get you, it was a tough day at work and I couldn't go, I feel horrible." That was quite evident in his voice.

"Don't even worry about it dad, I'm fine. Really."

"If you say so." he sighed, still evidently upset.

"So what do you want for dinner?"

"No no, don't even worry about me. You just got home, you must be exhausted. I'll pick something up on my way out. Just relax, I'll be home soon kid."

"If you say so," I mimicked.

He chuckled. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

As soon as I hung up the phone I called Renee and let her know I got home safe and sound, then I took my bags upstairs to my room and started unpacking. I really did want to lie down and rest but doing that would only make me think and right about now I was in no position to think. Besides, it would be better to get these things over with. At that thought, I heard a soft knock on the door and wondered who could be here. The only car in the drive way was mine and everyone knew I was gone on a "fun family visit."

I was quite surprised to see Emily standing there in her coat. She smiled, "Bella."

"H-hey Emily," I stuttered, very taken back. "What brings you here?"

"Well, I was at the station when you called Charlie, giving him some info on something I witnessed down at La Push - nothing unusual, just everyday wolf pack stuff, but he can't know that," she laughed and explained as she caught the look on my face as if she could hear me thinking how much I could have possibly missed while I was gone. "Anyways, he let me know you were back. I just wanted to come by and welcome you home." she smiled.

That was very like Emily, always looking out and being considerate. "Thanks Em," I smiled back. "Come in, please." I said, stepping aside to let her into the house.

"I'm glad you offered, there's something I wanted to talk to you about." I gulped, regretting ever inviting her in. I knew where this was going.

"Sure, just let me get us something to drink," I pressed, wanting to delay this. I came back with two hot cups of coffee. I found her pacing the room, looking at photos on the wall. "So," I sighed. "What's up?"

"Thanks," she said as I handed her her cup. "Well, I've been thinking about what happened with you and Jacob- yeah, we all know by the way," she admitted apologetically. "I'm really sorry Bella." she sighed after a long pause. "I'm so sorry for what he did. It breaks my heart to think of how you must feel right now …in some ways I understand how he couldn't ..resist, but I'm just so, so upset at him. I can't believe he didn't even wait, he couldn't wait till he at least said something to you.." this was bringing back memories and feelings that I had desperately wanted to keep locked up since I left Phoenix.

"Look, Emily." I interrupted. "I understand that you wanted to apologize but it's not up to you to say sorry for his mistakes. His big mistakes."

"No, please Bella …Just let me- I'm sorry. I have absolutely no idea what you feel like and I feel horrible because I do know that it must suck. I just want to let you know that, whatever you need I promise you that my loyalty to the pack won't interfere in me helping you. In fact, they shouldn't have a word on it because you were the one who got hurt. Jacob was a jerk for what he did, I can't say it enough. It makes my blood boil to think of how careless he was to you. You've never been anything but kind and loving. But …Jacob is not a jerk. He's an idiot. A careless, rash, over-the-top idiot. But he's not a bad guy. You must hate me for telling you this-"

"No, I don't …I know he isn't," I said, a tear falling from my face.

"Don't cry sweetheart, not over him." It shocked me that she was talking this way about him, but she must have been very mad at him. She walked over to me and hugged me, "Not everyone knows this, just you, me, Jacob, the Cullens and I'm assuming your mom ."

"Knows about what?"

"The situation between you and Edward, and what you had to do." I gasped, a thrill of embarrassment and shock going through me. I was so positive I had kept that safe but apparently everyone knew everything about my life. "I know what Jacob did ..how he talked you into being with him. And Bella it wasn't some sort of ploy to get you into bed or something," my eyes widened, "everything he said was true. He was in love with you and he wanted to be with you so much everyday, but he just- he hadn't found his…"

"Soul mate? Look I know all of this Emily and I really don't mean to be rude but I don't want to hear anymore of this. It hurts bad enough already and I just got back-"

"Bella, please, this won't take much longer.." she waited for my permission, I simply nodded and sighed. "You're right, he hadn't found his soul mate. If it weren't for my cousin, Leah, he would have never done this to you though-"

I audibly gasped, I had absolutely no clue that Emily and Leah were cousins. Then again I had never seen Leah in my life. But how could I even make a connection like that when Emily and Leah were both two vastly different people. Emily was sweet and considerate whereas from the looks of what she had done to me, Leah was a bit of a home wrecker.

"You didn't know she was my cousin." she stated. "I'm sorry I never said anything, it's just that, she had just come into town and I hadn't seen you since the pack was on duty. You know we rarely see each other when we aren't around the pack, which is unfortunate." she was ranting, but all I could think of was how it all made sense now. Of course! He saw her the very day of our anniversary and imprinted, he was too caught up in his …passion, that he forgot all about me…

"It's okay Emily, just finish." she flinched at my snippiness, I would have apologized but I was too upset about the epiphany I had just had.

"All right, well, if it weren't for my cousin this wouldn't have happened …so soon. Listen, he had a soul mate, eventually he would have found her. I just want you to understand that, this isn't entirely his fault Bella, of course he's just such a jerk," she shook angrily, "for doing that to you! But ..he wouldn't have done it eventually. You can't fight it, you can try, but that's the way it works. You are meant for the person and try as you might, you won't be able to stay away for long. I'm just so sorry you had to be in the middle of that." Her voice broke.

"A-are you crying, Em?" I asked, taken back.

"It's just that, you never did anything to deserve what is happening to you, you're such a sweet girl."

"Em, don't worry about me," I smiled through my hurt. "You've got to much on you're plate with those boys already, I'll be fine." I said, smiling again.

"Oh Bella," she walked over to me and hugged me. "I don't know what is in Edward's head but he's crazy to have let you go again. You'll get through this, sweetie." She smiled and I walked her to the door, we chatted about some things for a couple of minutes and soon she turned to go.

"Thanks for having me, Bells, the coffee was great." she commented.

"Oh it was French vanilla." I quipped.

"Yummy!" she laughed. "Bye Bells."

I grabbed the doorknob, ready to wave goodbye to her but we both stood shocked when I opened the door.

Alright, so I can't apologize enough but whatever, new page!

Reviews are welcomed(: scratch that- they are begged for!