A/N: I had technical difficulties with the first version that was already to post this morning, so it may not be exact to the other one. The whole computer went down with my documents, so now I am typing on my laptop. ):
10. Birthday Blues
Logan always loved his birthday. He always believed that since it was a new year, he had to have grown at least a little bit. He also liked that it fell in late summer, and he could play outside with his friends and cousins because it was still warm out.
This year was different though. Logan seemed distracted, and not at all as excited as usual. He was turning six, and it wasn't just his birthday this time, it was his first year of grammar school. He knew how to calculate that he started school in thirty-six hours, three-hundred minutes, and sixty-two seconds, so he knew that he was smart enough, but he wasn't sure how he was going to be away from his mum so much.
He was going to a strange place, with unfamiliar faces, and lots of rooms he'd never been in before. Sure, he would see Kendall, James and Carlos, but they couldn't be with him every moment, and he might need them. He didn't tell his mum that he was scared, he just grew quiet.
"What's wrong, baby? Aren't you excited about your birthday this year?" she asked.
"Yes, mama," he said quietly.
"Then, why so glum, chum?" She brushed the silky dark bangs back, to see his chocolate brown eyes better.
"I'm not glum, mama," he reassured her.
"No? Then, do you want vanilla ice cream again this year...RAWR! or CHOCOLATE! RAWR!" she roared and tickled his sides.
Logan couldn't help but giggle when she did the dinosaur roar. He wanted to tell her the truth at that moment, but he really couldn't even talk about it. It made his tummy get butterflies, and his heart beat faster. "Chocolate," he said, decisively, but without enthusiasm.
"You got it, partner."
xxx
Before he knew it, and definitely before he was ready, it was the evening before the first school day. He watched his mum from where he sat cross-legged on the foot of his twin-sized bed, chin resting in his hands and deep in thought. She pulled two outfits from the hang-bar, tags still dangling from the cuffs, and draped them across the bed.
"Which one would you like to wear, first," she asked.
He glanced at the choices and wrinkled his button-nose in distaste. "I don't like either one."
"What? Why not? You liked them when we went shopping for school a few weeks ago," she said, confused.
He had, but that was before he associated the garments with starting school and all of the apprehension that went along with it. "The vest, shirt, and cords are really nice," she said, disrupting his worrisome thoughts.
"No," he said defiantly. She studied him curiously. His little face was unreadable.
"Okay, then the polo and jeans will work," she tried.
He shook his head adamantly, and she thought that she may have caught a pout before he pulled his mouth back to its usual adorable state and sighed.
She sat down next to her young son and wrapped her arms around his wee shoulders. "Would you like to talk about what your first day of school might be like?"
He bit his lower lip, avoided eye-contact, and played with the gold bracelet on her wrist. She kissed the top of his head and pulled him in her lap. He threw his arms around her neck and soaked in her warmth.
"Are you scared, baby?" He tensed, but didn't answer. She pulled back a bit to search her son's expressive dark eyes for answers. He still wouldn't look at her, so she tugged his dimpled chin toward her and held it gently.
"I was afraid my first day, too," she said softly. He looked up, surprised.
"You were?"
"Sure. It was a strange new place, with different faces, and a bunch of rooms that I'd never even seen before. I thought that I was going to be sick at first."
"Were you!," he asked in a concerned voice.
"No, but I did put up a pretty good fight about not letting go of my daddy's hand, so that I could go meet my new teacher. I finally did, and boy was she ever nice."
Logan swallowed hard. "But...but what if I can't?" he asked in a tiny high voice.
"Can't what, baby?"
"Can't...let go of your hand," he whispered.
She smiled and held his small hands in hers. "Then you won't," she said simply. "But, I think that you are going to forget all about me once you're there, and you see all of your friends... and the books..."
He caught the wistful tone in her voice, and it was his turn to search his mum's eyes for answers. "Are you sad, mama?' he asked, worry in his brown eyes.
She smiled warmly and hugged him tightly to her chest. "Oh, I'm just selfish, and want to keep you all to myself so I can watch you grow every minute, of every day."
He smiled back. "I love you too, mama!" he said happily. "I promise that I'll think of you all the time, when I'm there," he said innocently.
"And, I'll be thinking of you, Logie-Bear. Now, which outfit do you choose?"
"The vest," he said decisively.
xxx
That evening, he was restless again, knowing than we he opened his eyes in the morning, he would be getting ready for school. After his mum and dad tucked him in bed for the evening, kissed him on the cheek, and bid him goodnight, they turned to leave.
"Wait!" he called suddenly. "Can I have the nightlight on tonight?" He knew that his parents weren't thrilled with the light being on while he slept. They believed that he didn't rest well, and that it could affect his vision. But there were always exceptions, like when he was sad or scared. Now, he was both.
"Is something bothering you, sport?" his dad asked. Logan shrugged and pulled his lower lip firmly between his teeth. His dad ruffled his hair. "Okay,Will do," he said, switching the Batman symbol nightlight on. The yellow moon glowed cozily behind the black bat, and Logan's weary eyes immediately began to droop.
They watched for a moment from the doorway, until the long dark lashes fanned across his cheeks, casting shadows upon them. They smiled at one another and closed the door over.
An hour later, a shrill cry jolted both of them from a sound sleep. Mrs. Mitchell slid quickly into her bedside slippers, and raced to her son's room. Logan sat upright in his bed, looking disoriented and frightened, his cheeks shining with tears.
"What is it, baby?" she asked, scooping him up in her arms and rubbing his trembling back.
"I-I couldn't f-find you," he sobbed, clinging to her.
"I'm right here Logie-Bear," she soothed. He rambled incoherently, explaining further the horrors he's experienced in the dream, hiccupping between sobs.
"Shhhh. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."
"He choked back a sob and calmed a bit. "I want to stay here with you, mama!" he cried.
She sat on the bed with him, still wrapped in her arms, and gently rocked. Mr. Mitchell stood helplessly in the doorway watching them. She motioned for him to join them and he came to sit beside them, placing a large comforting hand on the tiny heaving back.
"I'll tell you what," she said, rubbing his leg,"let's go to school together tomorrow, and if we don't like it, we'll just tell them that we aren't ready for school yet."
Mr. Mitchell stared at his wife as if she were crazy. Tell the school to wait? She winked at him, and he finally had an 'a-ha' moment of understanding, and winked back.
"Really?" Logan asked, obviously relieved.
"Really," she said.
xxx
He slept peacefully throughout the remainder of the evening and awoke refreshed the following morning. He was still quiet, but he let his mum lead him down to a breakfast of cereal, toast and juice. He even cooperated when she combed the silky dark tresses neatly to the side, and handed him his toothbrush. Dressed in the vest, button-down shirt and cords, he took her hand and walked outside.
He took a deep breath and held her hand tighter. "We're going to walk to school since it isn't that far, okay?" she asked. Logan nodded and gripped the hand around his clammy little one, tighter still. She refrained from letting on how much it hurt, and smiled down at her handsome little boy. "Okay then," she said, instead.
They walked down the block, and she waved to the other mothers walking their own children. When they finally neared their destination, Logan slowed his pace. His little heart was thumping in his chest and his belly was doing that crazy thing, where he felt like he was riding an elevator that was plummeting down.
"Okay, baby?" she asked softly, eying her apprehensive son for signs of a pending panic-attack. He pulled the plump lower-lip between his teeth and bit down hard. He nodded, but not too convincingly.
At the doors, he began to swoon. She knelt to her son's level and steadied his slim hips with her hands. "So, do we want to do this?" she asked.
He thought for a moment, and glanced around nervously, his soft clammy, little hand still in hers.
"Hi, Logaaan!" Carlos shouted, rambling over to his friend, stumbling over a low hedge and landing at his feet with a thud. Logan giggled, despite his fears, and Mrs. Garcia rolled her eyes in amusement.
Carlos bounced back to his feet and adjusted the crooked helmet on his head. "The wrecking crew has arrived!" his mum announced.
Mrs. Mitchell stifled a giggle of her own, and smiled at the rambunctious boy, grateful for the distraction. Carlos lunged for his friend and squeezed him tightly, lifting his small body high in the air with the hug. Logan coughed but laughed.
"Carlos!" Mrs. Garcia scolded, "put him down this instant, before you hurt him!"
"Naw, the boys are tough," Mrs. Mitchell said.
Carlos took Logan's hand and pulled him along toward the entrance. "Come on! Let's go check out our new classroom!" They disappeared through the doors, and the mothers smiled at one another. They spotted Kendall and his mum arriving at the end of the walkway. Kendall was clearly searching the area for his friends as they approached.
"The boys are already inside," Mrs. Mitchell said proudly.
Mrs. Knight's eyebrow rose in surprise, when she realized that Logan had gone in without her. She had sensed his apprehension the day before when the boys played together at the park. "Do you want to go find them, sweetie?" she asked her son.
"'Kay," Kendall said, "but, where's James?"
"We'll let him know that you're waiting for him," Mrs. Knight reassured him. "Okay, sweetie?" she added when her own son seemed to hesitate as well. His small face paled a bit, but he skipped off to find Carlos and Logan.
"I am so relieved that the boys are brave enough to go inside without us," she said, her own eyes glistening with emotion. The other women put their arms around her, understanding how she felt.
Their babies were growing up so fast and it made them ache with love, as they suppressed the urge to cry. Mrs. Diamond however, had no trouble expressing herself. She could be heard from the end of the walkway, her theatrical wailing echoing throughout the schoolyard.
"Jaa-ames!" she cried, smoothing his already perfectly-groomed cap of shiny hair. "I'm going to miss my baby boy soooo much!"
"Mom! Let go!" James pleaded, when she refused to unhand him.
Mrs. Mitchell believed it to be the perfect moment to wave them over. "James, honey!" she called out, "the boys are all inside waiting for you!"
"Can I go, mommy?" he asked with big hazel orbs. Mrs. Diamond placed the hand that was restraining her son, over her heart, and with black mascara running down her cheeks, she said, "Go ahead, Jamie."
She sniffled. "Just go...and I'll be waiting for you out here."
"He's not going off to war," Mrs. Mitchell said, with a bit of irritation in her tone, worrying that it might be upsetting James. Mrs. Diamond gasped, but released her son. He seized the opportunity to flee, and raced for the door.
"Bye, mommy!" he yelled over his shoulder, only pausing to smile at the pretty blonde girl who held the door for him.
The women all moved in for a group hug, and only pulled away to go check on their young sons inside. They peered through the glass panel of the classroom and smiled at what they found. The boys were huddled over a toy truck, jabbering excitedly. The teacher noticed them and waved them in. They entered and noticed that there were other parents seated at the back of the room.
"Would you like to stay a while and observe your sons?" the pretty young brunette asked. "I'm Miss Florios, by the way, and I'm pleased to meet you."
They exchanged names, and made there way to the other parents. They had not gone far before the boys spotted them. James tried to hide behind Kendall, and rolled his eyes in his mum's direction. Kendall gave his mum a thumb's up and grinned. Carlos bounced up and down and shouted, "Hi, mommy!" Logan just stared.
"What's wrong. Logie?" Kendall asked his frozen-stiff friend.
"Uh-oh," Mrs. Mitchell murmured, "maybe I should have just waited outside." She feared that her boy was about to have new doubts about separation, and would change his mind about staying.
"Nuthin'" he said.
"Wow! Look!" Carlos squealed.
They saw that the boys had found new fascination in a huge table full of legos. "Let's just slip off when we can, Joanna," Mrs. Knight whispered. She nodded.
They weren't even a few feet down the hallway, when a squeaky "Moooooooom!" halted them in their tracks.
Mrs. Florios poked her head through the door to find them. "Oops, I'm so sorry," Mrs. Mitchell said apologetically, fearing that her son had surely frightened the daylights out of the other children.
"No problem," the teacher reassured her, "it happens every year." She smiled. "I'll bring him right out."
She reappeared, guiding the small brunet boy by the shoulders to stand before his mum. He looked up at her with dark round eyes, and hugged her legs.
"What's wrong, Logan?" she asked gently. "I'm just right outside the door if you need me."
"Oh, I don't need you, mama."
She looked puzzled. "Then why did you call for me, baby?" she asked.
"Because, you said to let you know what kind of party I want for my birfday as soon as I decide, and I decided!" he exclaimed.
"Oh, really? What kind?" she asked, trying not to let him see how amusing she found that to be at the moment.
"I want a school party! With chalkboards and books! And legos and trucks, and Kendall and James, and Carlos and my new teacher!"
"Wow! That's great, baby! But, why didn't you just wait to tell me after school?" she asked in exasperation.
"Because I wanted to thank you for bringing me here, and to tell you how much I love you!" he squeaked happily, with what would come to be known as his signature crooked grin, every dimple making an appearance.
Happy Birthday Logan!
Crumpet