A/N: Okay, this is short, but the idea came to me in the middle of the night. Although I've written most of the story in third person, this part is first person from Harm's point of view.
Exorcizing Ghosts
April 24, 1998
North of Union Station
0330 Local
I must be the dumbest man on earth. A beautiful woman is asleep in my bed, and here I am lying on the sofa. Alone. And it's not just any woman. It's Mac.
After finishing up with the police, and seeing Coster's ass hauled off to jail, Mac and I drove straight here. I called the Admiral to apologize for leaving the party early and to explain what happened with Mac. Guess having his daughter around put him in a good mood. He generously gave both Mac and me a day off.
"Take care of her, Commander," he said. "I'll see you both on Monday."
I made us a cup of tea, then we sat together on the sofa. Mac was still shaken from the ordeal, and rightfully so. We sat in silence for a while. I decided for once I wouldn't put my foot in my mouth. If she wanted to talk about it, okay. If not, that was fine too.
After a while, she put her cup on the coffee table and turned to me. "Thank you for being there for me, Harm."
"Well, I did have a little trouble finding you. Sorry I got there late."
"But you came. That's what's important. I don't know what I would have done…"
I put my finger to her lips to silence her. "Mac, I'd go to the ends of the earth to find you."
With that, she put her hands around my neck and pulled me toward her, placing her lips upon mine. We'd shared a few kisses over the past several weeks, but something was different tonight. It wasn't a just kiss between friends. It was so much more.
It would have been easy to let go. To give in to desire. After all, I'm a red-blooded, healthy, heterosexual male. When I felt Mac's tongue brush the seam of my lips, it took all my willpower not to give in.
I pulled away. "Mac, we shouldn't do this."
She opened her eyes, and those chocolate orbs looked at me. I almost melted at her gaze. Then, she turned away and stood up quickly. "I'm sorry, Harm. I don't know what got into me. Maybe I'd better go home."
"No, Mac. You don't need to be alone tonight. Stay here. You can have the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch."
"I don't have anything to wear."
"I can take care of that," I say, jumping to my feet, then hurrying to the bedroom to grab a Naval Academy t-shirt.
"Guess I am a little tired." Mac disappeared into my bathroom to change while I got an extra pillow and blanket from the closet. She walked out a few minutes later, her long, shapely legs visible beneath my t-shirt.
"Good night, Harm. Thanks for letting me stay," she said as she climbed beneath the covers.
It was all I could do not to join her. She hadn't wanted to be alone. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I slipped in the bed beside her. After all, it wouldn't have been the first time we'd hot bunked. Memories of our night in the Appalachian Mountains came to mind.
But back then, we were just friends. So, now I'm on the sofa, alone and wide-awake. Thinking about Mac. My partner, my best friend, my…
What exactly is our relationship? I meant it when I told her I didn't think of her as a sister. I've never thought of her in those terms. From the first moment we met in the White House Rose Garden, there was something special about her.
Sure, I was shocked because she looked like Diane. I mean, they could have been twins separated at birth. And maybe the resemblance is what attracted me to her at first, but it didn't take long for me to realize they were as different as daylight and dark.
Diane was more fun-loving and carefree. Mac was a no-nonsense Marine who wouldn't take any of my crap. I found that out that night in the desert when we worked our first case together.
"Hey, there's a bed in here."
"So?"
"Fits our cover story."
I wasn't trying to seduce her. Really I wasn't. Sex has always come easily for me. I enjoy women and haven't ever had any trouble getting one into bed. Okay, I'll admit the dress whites and gold wings often work in my favor. Except with Mac. She told me they're overrated.
But the truth of the matter is I've never wanted casual sex with Mac. The weekend fling with Kate Pike cured me of that. It affected how we worked together. Although she never said so, it's probably the reason she requested a transfer out of JAG headquarters. I'm damn lucky she still considers me a friend.
Then, there was Meg Austin. Our relationship was strictly professional, even though there were times I thought she wanted more. But I wasn't going to risk losing another partner because of a one-night stand. That's all it would have ever been with Meg.
Mac means so much more to me than either of my previous partners. I'm not sure I could take it if something happened to destroy our friendship. And yes, I want more from her but I don't want to screw this up.
Tonight, the timing was wrong. Mac was in a vulnerable state of mind, and I don't want her having regrets. When we do come together, I want it to be special—no memories of crazed stalkers or ghosts of past lovers.
I stand up, then quietly walk across the room. Opening the drawer of my desk, I pull out a box of letters.
I have some ghosts to exorcise.