PART TEN
"Come along, you," Elladan tugged firmly on the lead rope as he led a stubborn little pony into the paddock. Elrohir and his father were already there waiting for him.
"So this was your 'business' in Bree!" Elrond remarked, leaning over the fence to look closely at the pony, a frown pulling at his mouth. "I am not sure about him, Elladan. I would rather have Estel learn on an Elvish steed. He might be untrustworthy."
Elladan groaned softly. Trust his father to try and dampen things. "He is fine, Father."
"Oh, he's adorable!" Elrohir jumped lightly over the fence and walked to the pony. "He's a scruffy little pony, absolutely perfect for Estel to learn to ride, and a pet too!" He held a clump of grass on his hand and the pony took it gratefully, snorting into his palm as thanks.
"Scruffy is the right word," Elrond frowned further. "He is probably infested!"
"Oh, he is not!" Elrohir dismissed the comment, taking the lead rope from Elladan. "He just needs a good brush." He checked the beast over - his body, his hooves, his teeth, then finally a long look into his eyes. "He is fine, Father," he confirmed. "Honestly he is."
Elladan grinned as his Father backed down with a shrug. If Elrohir said a horse was fine, then fine it was. He knew the animals better than he knew his own kind. He could understand their every thought. He smiled fondly as he watched his brother whisper to the pony and the beast's ears twitched in response. He had been so unfair to him in the past months. No one but a twin brother could have put up with his behaviour. But sometimes it wasn't enough. Sometimes it was too much. He missed his sister.
"Where am I going?! Mother, can I look yet?!"
They all turned as Estel approached, blindfolded and led by Gilraen. The boy turned his head blindly as they halted by the fence and Elrond lifted him over.
"You can look now Estel," Elladan removed his blindfold and turned him towards the pony.
Estel gasped and stared between Elladan and the pony. "What.?" he was speechless.
"He's yours," Elladan told him. "A gift from me." He stooped and whispered in the boy's ear. "To say sorry. And to say thank you."
Estel nodded in secret understanding. "Elladan, I.." He clasped his foster brother's hands, blue eyes wide. "Oh! Is he really all mine? Can I stroke him?"
Even as he asked, the pony stepped forward and nuzzled his ear.
"What is his name, Elladan?" Gilraen asked.
"He hasn't got one yet," Elladan replied. "I thought Estel should chose one."
"Maermeldir," Estel said with barely a seconds thought. "For he will be a good friend to me."
"Not just a friend," Elladan said, lifting a saddle from the edge of the fence. "Elrohir is going to teach you to ride him too."
Estel burst into a fit of excited giggles and jumped up to fling his arms around Elladan's neck, threatening to choke the Elf in his excitement. "Oh! Thank you so much! Thank you!" Then he remembered with a bashful smile; "Mother, is it all right?"
Gilraen smiled. "How can I say no?" she said, crossing to Elladan as he perched up on the edge of the fence. "Thank you Elladan, you have made that child very happy."
"Come, Estel," Elrohir held his hand out to him. "No lessons today, but you can have a sit on him and I'll lead you around the paddock." He lifted him into the saddle. "Now, when Father isn't here I will let you have a go without the saddle," Elladan heard him whisper.
"You most certainly will not," Elrond said firmly, having heard too.
Elrohir rolled his eyes and slowly began to lead Maermeldir around the perimeter of the fence.
"You are looking a little better these last few days, Elladan," Gilraen commented, leaning her arms on the fence as they watched Estel. "It's nice to see you smiling again. It is a sight we have all missed for far too long."
Elladan nodded. "I know I have been difficult to live with for a while," he said quietly, "but I am trying to get better." He felt her hand over his. "I am sorry for the way I treated Estel." He glanced at Elrohir again. Oh, it was going to be so hard trying to get him to understand.
"I am sure this break will help you," she assured him, following his eyes to Elrohir. "You have not told him yet, have you?"
"No, I have not," he sighed. "I have not found the right moment to. He is so concerned about taking care of me himself, I have not had the heart to tell him." He grinned at his brother as Estel demanded an increase in pace. "He is going to be so upset."
"You have not much longer to put it off," Gilraen said, nodding in the direction of Galadriel, approaching on the arm of Glorfindel. "You should have told him privately, Elladan. He would not want any of us to see his tears."
He should have told him privately. There had been many moments for him to tell him since he made the decision a month ago. There had been a moment that morning to tell him, he had nearly told him. But it was painful, and he was cowardly.
"Faster! Faster!" Estel cried and Elrohir had no choice but to run around until he was breathless.
"Come on Elrohir!" Elrond encouraged with a laugh. "You should be able to run better than that!"
"You have been neglecting to keep your sons fit, Elrond," Galadriel said behind them as Elrohir halted breathlessly at the gate. "Let me keep them for a while, I will sort them out."
"This is Maermeldir," Estel announced proudly to Galadriel from his saddle. "He's mine! Isn't he lovely, my Lady? He was a gift from Elladan."
"You will have Haldir running us around the forest until we are half dead!" Elrohir argued. "We are quite fit enough, aren't we Elladan?"
Elladan smiled at him. "I am not as fit as I was," he said regretfully.
"No, but it won't take you long to get better," Elrohir said cheerfully. "You are eating properly again," he glanced between Elrond and Galadriel, "isn't he Father?"
"He is," Elrond nodded. "It won't take him long to be fit enough to outrun you, Elrohir."
Elladan laughed. "True. I look forward to outrunning you again, Elrohir. You have had it easy while I have been weakened." He hopped down from the fence and crossed to speak to his father while Elrohir introduced Galadriel to Maermeldir. "We will be restoring Mother's honour again come Spring," he promised. That was one thing he was determined to do.
"You take care of yourself first," Elrond ordered. "I don't want you doing anything before you are ready, I know you Elladan." He clasped his hands with a smile. "One good thing has come of this," he whispered. "It has brought us together again."
"Yes," Elladan squeezed his hands. "Mother would be pleased, wouldn't she?" He swallowed as tears threatened. Tears still came too easily to him for his liking.
Elrond pulled him into a hug. "You get yourself well again, Elladan, in your own time," he said. "I want you to be looking healthy and happy by the next time I see you. These things take time, I know, so do not put a deadline to Spring. Take your time. We will wait."
"Take care of Elrohir," he said as he pulled from his father's arms. "I must break the news to him now." He looked at his grandmother and sighed. "Are we all ready?"
She nodded. "We are."
Elrohir frowned and climbed over the fence to Elladan. "Ready for what? What is going on Elladan?"
Elladan sighed. He could not keep it from Elrohir a second longer. The moment had come to tell him. "I wish to stay in Lothlorien for a few months," he said. "I am leaving this morning with Grandmother."
Elrohir nodded in understanding. "I will come with you," he said eagerly. "I am sure Father won't mind-"
"No," Elladan told him. "I need to be alone for a while, Elrohir. I need to sort my mind out, and I cannot do that with you near me." He saw him bite back tears and he took his hand. "Do not cry, fair one," he whispered, leading him away from the others. "I am not rejecting you. Nor do I intend to. I just need some time alone. Away from Rivendell, away from the mountains, away from everything that reminds me of what happened to Mother."
"And that includes me?" Elrohir asked quietly, tears flooding his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? Why leave it until now? Why don't you want to be around me?"
"I did not tell you because I knew you would be upset," he answered, reaching up to wipe his twin's tears. "I must do this Elrohir. Please understand. I need to get away for a while, I need to see Arwen again, I need her ear and her comfort."
"Isn't my ear and my comfort enough?" Elrohir cried. "I am your twin, I know you better than anyone!"
"And every time you see me cry it breaks your heart," Elladan finished, placing a finger against his lips to silence him. "I cannot let you suffer as well. And I know I have been making you suffer. I love you, Elrohir, you know that."
Elrohir nodded. "I know," he whispered. "And I love you."
"I will be home for the Spring. I promise." He smiled weakly, tipping Elrohir's head to catch his eye. "Let me do this. Please. I know we have never done anything alone, but I need to do this by myself."
"You are doing it," Elrohir said shakily. "Why do you need to persuade me, you have already made up your mind, regardless of how I feel." More tears ran from his eyes.
"I would feel better if I had your blessing." Elladan stared him down, trying to show him with his eyes what he could not say with his voice. "Please Elrohir. Please understand. Please let me do this. Give me your blessing."
"You have it," Elrohir whispered and nodded, taking him in his arms and holding him tightly. "Come home well."
~To be continued~
"Come along, you," Elladan tugged firmly on the lead rope as he led a stubborn little pony into the paddock. Elrohir and his father were already there waiting for him.
"So this was your 'business' in Bree!" Elrond remarked, leaning over the fence to look closely at the pony, a frown pulling at his mouth. "I am not sure about him, Elladan. I would rather have Estel learn on an Elvish steed. He might be untrustworthy."
Elladan groaned softly. Trust his father to try and dampen things. "He is fine, Father."
"Oh, he's adorable!" Elrohir jumped lightly over the fence and walked to the pony. "He's a scruffy little pony, absolutely perfect for Estel to learn to ride, and a pet too!" He held a clump of grass on his hand and the pony took it gratefully, snorting into his palm as thanks.
"Scruffy is the right word," Elrond frowned further. "He is probably infested!"
"Oh, he is not!" Elrohir dismissed the comment, taking the lead rope from Elladan. "He just needs a good brush." He checked the beast over - his body, his hooves, his teeth, then finally a long look into his eyes. "He is fine, Father," he confirmed. "Honestly he is."
Elladan grinned as his Father backed down with a shrug. If Elrohir said a horse was fine, then fine it was. He knew the animals better than he knew his own kind. He could understand their every thought. He smiled fondly as he watched his brother whisper to the pony and the beast's ears twitched in response. He had been so unfair to him in the past months. No one but a twin brother could have put up with his behaviour. But sometimes it wasn't enough. Sometimes it was too much. He missed his sister.
"Where am I going?! Mother, can I look yet?!"
They all turned as Estel approached, blindfolded and led by Gilraen. The boy turned his head blindly as they halted by the fence and Elrond lifted him over.
"You can look now Estel," Elladan removed his blindfold and turned him towards the pony.
Estel gasped and stared between Elladan and the pony. "What.?" he was speechless.
"He's yours," Elladan told him. "A gift from me." He stooped and whispered in the boy's ear. "To say sorry. And to say thank you."
Estel nodded in secret understanding. "Elladan, I.." He clasped his foster brother's hands, blue eyes wide. "Oh! Is he really all mine? Can I stroke him?"
Even as he asked, the pony stepped forward and nuzzled his ear.
"What is his name, Elladan?" Gilraen asked.
"He hasn't got one yet," Elladan replied. "I thought Estel should chose one."
"Maermeldir," Estel said with barely a seconds thought. "For he will be a good friend to me."
"Not just a friend," Elladan said, lifting a saddle from the edge of the fence. "Elrohir is going to teach you to ride him too."
Estel burst into a fit of excited giggles and jumped up to fling his arms around Elladan's neck, threatening to choke the Elf in his excitement. "Oh! Thank you so much! Thank you!" Then he remembered with a bashful smile; "Mother, is it all right?"
Gilraen smiled. "How can I say no?" she said, crossing to Elladan as he perched up on the edge of the fence. "Thank you Elladan, you have made that child very happy."
"Come, Estel," Elrohir held his hand out to him. "No lessons today, but you can have a sit on him and I'll lead you around the paddock." He lifted him into the saddle. "Now, when Father isn't here I will let you have a go without the saddle," Elladan heard him whisper.
"You most certainly will not," Elrond said firmly, having heard too.
Elrohir rolled his eyes and slowly began to lead Maermeldir around the perimeter of the fence.
"You are looking a little better these last few days, Elladan," Gilraen commented, leaning her arms on the fence as they watched Estel. "It's nice to see you smiling again. It is a sight we have all missed for far too long."
Elladan nodded. "I know I have been difficult to live with for a while," he said quietly, "but I am trying to get better." He felt her hand over his. "I am sorry for the way I treated Estel." He glanced at Elrohir again. Oh, it was going to be so hard trying to get him to understand.
"I am sure this break will help you," she assured him, following his eyes to Elrohir. "You have not told him yet, have you?"
"No, I have not," he sighed. "I have not found the right moment to. He is so concerned about taking care of me himself, I have not had the heart to tell him." He grinned at his brother as Estel demanded an increase in pace. "He is going to be so upset."
"You have not much longer to put it off," Gilraen said, nodding in the direction of Galadriel, approaching on the arm of Glorfindel. "You should have told him privately, Elladan. He would not want any of us to see his tears."
He should have told him privately. There had been many moments for him to tell him since he made the decision a month ago. There had been a moment that morning to tell him, he had nearly told him. But it was painful, and he was cowardly.
"Faster! Faster!" Estel cried and Elrohir had no choice but to run around until he was breathless.
"Come on Elrohir!" Elrond encouraged with a laugh. "You should be able to run better than that!"
"You have been neglecting to keep your sons fit, Elrond," Galadriel said behind them as Elrohir halted breathlessly at the gate. "Let me keep them for a while, I will sort them out."
"This is Maermeldir," Estel announced proudly to Galadriel from his saddle. "He's mine! Isn't he lovely, my Lady? He was a gift from Elladan."
"You will have Haldir running us around the forest until we are half dead!" Elrohir argued. "We are quite fit enough, aren't we Elladan?"
Elladan smiled at him. "I am not as fit as I was," he said regretfully.
"No, but it won't take you long to get better," Elrohir said cheerfully. "You are eating properly again," he glanced between Elrond and Galadriel, "isn't he Father?"
"He is," Elrond nodded. "It won't take him long to be fit enough to outrun you, Elrohir."
Elladan laughed. "True. I look forward to outrunning you again, Elrohir. You have had it easy while I have been weakened." He hopped down from the fence and crossed to speak to his father while Elrohir introduced Galadriel to Maermeldir. "We will be restoring Mother's honour again come Spring," he promised. That was one thing he was determined to do.
"You take care of yourself first," Elrond ordered. "I don't want you doing anything before you are ready, I know you Elladan." He clasped his hands with a smile. "One good thing has come of this," he whispered. "It has brought us together again."
"Yes," Elladan squeezed his hands. "Mother would be pleased, wouldn't she?" He swallowed as tears threatened. Tears still came too easily to him for his liking.
Elrond pulled him into a hug. "You get yourself well again, Elladan, in your own time," he said. "I want you to be looking healthy and happy by the next time I see you. These things take time, I know, so do not put a deadline to Spring. Take your time. We will wait."
"Take care of Elrohir," he said as he pulled from his father's arms. "I must break the news to him now." He looked at his grandmother and sighed. "Are we all ready?"
She nodded. "We are."
Elrohir frowned and climbed over the fence to Elladan. "Ready for what? What is going on Elladan?"
Elladan sighed. He could not keep it from Elrohir a second longer. The moment had come to tell him. "I wish to stay in Lothlorien for a few months," he said. "I am leaving this morning with Grandmother."
Elrohir nodded in understanding. "I will come with you," he said eagerly. "I am sure Father won't mind-"
"No," Elladan told him. "I need to be alone for a while, Elrohir. I need to sort my mind out, and I cannot do that with you near me." He saw him bite back tears and he took his hand. "Do not cry, fair one," he whispered, leading him away from the others. "I am not rejecting you. Nor do I intend to. I just need some time alone. Away from Rivendell, away from the mountains, away from everything that reminds me of what happened to Mother."
"And that includes me?" Elrohir asked quietly, tears flooding his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? Why leave it until now? Why don't you want to be around me?"
"I did not tell you because I knew you would be upset," he answered, reaching up to wipe his twin's tears. "I must do this Elrohir. Please understand. I need to get away for a while, I need to see Arwen again, I need her ear and her comfort."
"Isn't my ear and my comfort enough?" Elrohir cried. "I am your twin, I know you better than anyone!"
"And every time you see me cry it breaks your heart," Elladan finished, placing a finger against his lips to silence him. "I cannot let you suffer as well. And I know I have been making you suffer. I love you, Elrohir, you know that."
Elrohir nodded. "I know," he whispered. "And I love you."
"I will be home for the Spring. I promise." He smiled weakly, tipping Elrohir's head to catch his eye. "Let me do this. Please. I know we have never done anything alone, but I need to do this by myself."
"You are doing it," Elrohir said shakily. "Why do you need to persuade me, you have already made up your mind, regardless of how I feel." More tears ran from his eyes.
"I would feel better if I had your blessing." Elladan stared him down, trying to show him with his eyes what he could not say with his voice. "Please Elrohir. Please understand. Please let me do this. Give me your blessing."
"You have it," Elrohir whispered and nodded, taking him in his arms and holding him tightly. "Come home well."
~To be continued~