Chapter 9: So Far (It's Alright)

The Christmas holidays were a week away and Albus was counting down the days on his Doctor Who calendar. He wanted to be at home with his parents, in his own bed and most importantly away from Scorpius Malfoy whose presence in his life was confusing him a way he couldn't even begin to understand. Albus had been co-conscious twice when he was Al. Once when he was trying to get sex out of Scorpius (oh dear god) and their last detention together. It was obvious to him that the only thing in common between the two incidents was Malfoy. None of it made sense and Albus just wanted to be home.

On the other side of the castle, Scorpius Malfoy was wishing the exact opposite. Before that morning he had been pleased to be going home to see his parents and his cat and sleep in his own massive bed with no teenage boys walking about all night. And then at breakfast he'd received a letter from his father telling Scorpius that Astoria and himself were going to Hawaii or someplace of the sort and that Scorpius should "use this time to see friends" and to "take this opportunity to have some liberty".

In other words you're on your own, kid.

Scorpius sulked for the rest of the day and wouldn't come out of his dorm. Cale had to physically drag him out of bed the next day to watch Gryffindor cream Hufflepuff on the pitch.

Scorpius found the game very... interesting. The first half of the game Albus was calculating and careful, staying in formation with the other chasers and not being mental. The second half, Scorpius thought, it was as if Albus was still in the changeroom and some random person was now playing for him. This Albus was all over the place; unsafely diving towards people (even his own team mates) and not following plays at all. It should have been a wreck and yet Albus scored even more this half than the first. Scorpius watched in awe as the game ended and Hufflepuff flew off in defeat. He watched Albus stand up on his broom and bow arrogantly to the crowd. He also watched him fall off his broom and hit the ground spectacularly but thankfully he wasn't that high.

Every day, Scorpius seemed to understand Albus Potter a little bit less.

~O-O~

It was Friday night before the Christmas holidays. The train would leave early the next morning so Scorpius was in the library trying to finish as much homework as possible so that he wouldn't have to do it over the break.

Not that it would matter, Scorpius thought bitterly, I could just do it when my parents leave me alone at the house so they can vacation in paradise where they didn't invite me.

Scorpius scratched out his transfiguration essay with an inordinate amount of repressed anger. He eventually realized that he had no idea what he was writing about so he pushed back his chair and made his way through the towering bookshelves to find something that would help him.

He paused just before the transfiguration section. Then he backed up to the previous row where Al Potter was five feet above ground climbing a bookshelf. Scorpius stared at him until Al looked over and said, "Oh, please, you've seen me do weirder things."

"Okay?" said Scorpius. "What are you doing?"

"You'll have to come up to find out," Al challenged. He then pulled himself over the top of the bookshelf and disappeared. Scorpius stared after him, wondering how he had ignored this strange, exciting boy for six years.

Al was lying down and watching Scorpius, a wide grin on his face, when Scorpius reached the top of the opposite bookshelf. Scorpius stared back until he brought his legs up and lay down. He realized that up here, lying down like they were, no one could see them.

"So what now," Scorpius asked almost immediately. He never had any patience.

"Listen," said Al. And then he closed his eyes and said no more.

Scorpius realized quickly that Albus Potter was a boy who was very easily amused. When the first group of gossiping first year girls arrived between the shelves, Albus was already grinning and he probably had no idea who the girls were talking about or truly cared who had snogged who behind the greenhouse.

The next group Scorpius thought was far more interesting. A group of Slytherin third-years were plotting easily the worst prank Scorpius had ever heard on some Gryffindor's. Their prank was so complicated and had so many holes that Scorpius almost blew their cover because he was silently laughing so hard.

There was a ten minute gap after they had left where it seemed the library was empty. Al closed his eyes and seemed to take a nap, content to wait.

Scorpius watched Al, taking in every inch of him. How his bangs were too long and fell into his eyes. The way his fingers wouldn't stop twitching and tapping against the shelf. Scorpius could see a cartilage piercing on his right ear and he couldn't remember if he'd seen it before.

Things got interesting a few minutes later when two Hufflepuff fifth-year boys stumbled into sight and began furiously making out. Scorpius stared at them completely astounded while Al silently laughed so hard he had to grip the edges of the shelf to keep from rolling off.

When the boys were kissed-out and had left, Al sat up and wiped his eyes saying, "Merlin, that was the best it's ever been.

Scorpius sat up too. "Is this was you do all the time? Spy on people and learn everyone's secrets from above?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Christ, you're mental. You and the library are a weird mix, mate. At the beginning of the year you asked me for sex in here."

And then Al grinned a smile that said I am very deranged and he jumped over to Scorpius's bookshelf. Scorpius had time to push himself up onto his forearms before Al Potter was leaning over him with his face dangerously close to his. Scorpius meant to shove him off but all he could do was stare into Al's eyes and resist the urge to reach out a hand and touch him.

"The offer still stands you know," whispered Al, leaning even closer until all Scorpius could see was Al Al Al.

Scorpius must have closed his eyes because he became suddenly aware of the empty space around him. When he opened his eyes, he was very much alone and any trace of Al Potter was gone.

~O-O~

Scorpius and Albus spent the first few days of the holidays alone. Scorpius spent the time wandering his empty mansion, sleeping in the attic because it had the best view and trying not to go out of his mind. Albus spent it in his bedroom with the lights off and music playing on the stereo day and night. He had been so excited to come home but now that he was here he wanted to be anywhere else. He realized he didn't like the quiet of the house. He loved his family but he didn't like hearing them around him.

Because every time he did he remembered how much of a burden he is to them.

On Christmas morning Scorpius woke up to four present at the end of his bed. One was from Cale that turned out to be a book of gay pornography which Scorpius intended to burn. The other three were from his parents. He received a white collared shirt (the same one as he'd gotten last year), a calendar of the Montrose Magpies (a team that Scorpius didn't even support anymore) and a black, leather bound journal of all things.

For the rest of the day, Scorpius sat cross-legged on the piano bench, trying to remember how to play before he ate Christmas dinner alone at the dining room table. He set three places and wished he were surrounded by people.

Albus had another Christmas dinner at the Burrow. Everyone was there and Albus had never felt more claustrophobic in his life. There weren't enough seats at the table so Albus had to sit on the kitchen counter with his plate on his lap. He was grateful for his family, of course he was, but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to be alone.

But he's never truly alone is he Al.

~O-O~

Scorpius wanted to wait a few days after Christmas before he called Cale. He only lasted till the next morning.

Cale picked up on the third ring and to Scorpius is sounded like he was still asleep.

"Do you have any idea what time it is," Cale growled after Scorpius had said a near hysterical greeting.

"Yeah, early, whatever," said Scorpius very fast. "So can we hang out today? I'm pretty much losing my mind over here."

Scorpius could hear someone laugh in the background and then Finn was inviting himself and Cale over. Scorpius just laughed maniacally and told them to come over as soon as they could.

On his end, Cale put down the phone and it almost immediately began ringing again. Finn picked it up. It was Albus and he asked if Finn was busy. Cale grinned evilly and, stealing the phone from his brother, told Albus to meet at theirs because they were goingto go out for the day. He didn't tell him where.

Twenty minutes later and Albus was walking through Wiltshire with Cale and Finn. He was so glad to be out of his house that he didn't even care where they were headed. When Finn asked Cale how far they were Albus finally asked where they were going. Cale and Finn shared a look where they were both trying hard not to laugh before Cale said, "Scor's place."

And then a huge mansion loomed up in front of them and Albus swore.

"Great," he said flatly. "This won't be awkward at all for everyone."

Finn threw his arm around his friend while Cale led the way up to the house.

Scorpius was waiting in the dining room, impatiently tapping his fingers against the table. He wondered if this was what it felt like to quit cigarettes or stop doing... cocaine or something like that. Then he thought that that was ridiculous and that Cale and Finn needed to get there very soon because he was most definitely losing it. The brass knocker sounded throughout the house and Scorpius ran for the door in a very childlike way only to feel like he'd been roundhouse kicked in the face when he opened the door to see Cale and Finn grinning at him like they had en evil secret and Albus fucking Potter smiling sheepishly from behind them.

"Uhh-" was basically all that Scorpius could manage to say.

"Oh, get over it," said Cale, clapping Scorpius on the shoulder and moving past him into the house. "It could be worse."

Finn snorted and ruffled Scorpius's hair as he strolled into the house like he owned it which left Albus and Scorpius to stare at each extremely uncomfortably.

"They didn't tell me where we were going," said Albus automatically in somewhat of a robot voice. "I can... like, leave if you don't want me at your house."

Scorpius just stared at him in a way that Albus would later call his "owl face".

"What's taking you idiots so long!" yelled Cale from somewhere behind them. "Stop eye-fucking each other and get in here!"

Scorpius willed himself not to blush but when that failed miserably he let Albus Potter into his home and prayed for an asteroid to crash into his house and kill him instantly so he wouldn't have to live through whatever was to happen that afternoon.

~O-O~

Two things became quickly apparent to Scorpius.

One, that Edward was a vampire- No shit, wrong book.

That Cale Harrison was the fucking devil.

And two. That Cale had most definitely told Finn about his small, tiny, minuscule crush on Albus Potter.

Finn asked Scorpius if he would give them a tour of his house which seemed innocent enough until Cale and Finn would run up ahead every five seconds, leaving Albus and Scorpius to walk beside each other in horrible silence.

At first he thought he was just being paranoid and that Cale would never tell his secret to anyone but he knew he wasn't going crazy when Finn tried to lock him and Albus in his own bedroom. He stopped him in time and luckily Albus was too embarrassed about the whole situation that he didn't even notice. He also didn't notice Scorpius smack both of them in the face which he was glad for so he wouldn't have to explain himself.

When the tour was over and the four of them were back in the entrance hall (Finn's cheek was bright red and Cale eye was just a little bit swollen), Scorpius came to the sudden realization that his brain couldn't come up with a single thing to do and basically he just wanted to curl up on the floor and die.

Rationally, he knew him and Potter should be okay. They knew extremely personal stuff about each other and had actually hung out socially a few times and laughed together like normal teenagers (though admittedly under the influence of drugs or alcohol) but this seemed...

different. Albus seemed different. He was quiet and awkward and not in one of his wild moods. Scorpius felt way out of his depth.

"So... what do we do now," said Scorpius, breaking the excruciating silence.

Albus looked ready to shoot himself. Cale and Finn seemed comfortable like they always goddamn are. Finally Cale said, "God, we all need to lighten up."

And then Albus seemed to brighten a little bit because he slipped off the bag from his shoulders that Scorpius hadn't even noticed before and said, "So it's a good thing I brought this then." And then he took out a full bottle of Firewhisky and Scorpius had never liked him more than he did at that moment. None of them apparently cared that is was only 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

"I love you, Albus Potter," said Cale. "Finn, you and Scor go to the living room and prepare, Albus- come get glasses with me."

The way he said it (not to mention the evil grin that accompanied it) made Albus quite terrified. Albus followed him anyways after giving the bottle to Finn and purposefully avoiding Scorpius's gaze because for some reason he felt awkward to the max with him today.

He followed Cale into the kitchen only to be cornered between the counter and the fridge.

"I know your secret," Cale whispered cryptically like he was a black op.

"Ow fuck, there's a espresso machine pressing into my back, Cale."

"Oh, sorry." Cale took a step back. " So Finn told me about Al, mate."

Albus felt like he had been doused in cold water. He felt infinitely better when Cale pulled him into a hug and said, "I'm so sorry. You are too nice a person for something like that to have happened to you and please don't be mad at Finn for telling me. Also it explains so much, you crazy motherfucker."

Then he pulled back and grabbed Albus by the shoulders, staring right into his eyes.

"Some are born great," he said. "Some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. Wow, that was pretty good, I totally just made that up."

Albus snorted, grabbed four brandy glasses from the cabinet and pushed Shakespeare towards the living room.

"Wow, a true poet. Just don't be thrusting anything on me."

~O-O~

When Cale had told Finn and Scorpius to "prepare", to Finn that meant assemble all the seat cushions and pillows on the floor in a fort-like structure. When Albus came into the living room all he saw was Finn lounged across several cushions in front of the fireplace and Scorpius Malfoy perched ever so delicately on a throw pillow and it was the greatest sight Albus had ever seen. He was so pleased in fact that he didn't even think about it before he was sitting down beside Scorpius Malfoy and handing him a glass.

He gave out the rest (missing the look of near hyperventilation on Scorpius's face when he leaned across him to reach Cale) and Finn poured them all a shot.

"Wait, we need to toast to something," said Cale.

"Fuck, you and your toasting..." mumbled Finn.

"Shut the fuck up. Okay. To... destroying our livers," said Cale.

"To being an only child," said Finn.

"To sanity!" said Albus.

"To deserting parents," said Scorpius.

And then glasses were raised and all the boys downed their shots which was immediately followed by coughing and horribly pained expressions.

The Firewhisky was passed around again and an hour later the bottle was nearly empty and the boys were quite intoxicated. Now, Scorpius was sitting upside down on the cushion-less couch with his legs hanging off the back. Cale was sitting on the ground beside him, poking his wand at his own hair to make his bangs grow shorter and longer. Finn was... actually Finn was nowhere to be found something Cale said he does a lot when he's drunk. Albus was on the floor, sipping his something-th drink (he'd lost track a while ago). He had a content smile on his face, something quite rare, and his eyes were trained on the upside-down boy.

"I'm so glad that Christmas is fuckin' done," moaned Cale. "I probably had the worst Christmas of ever."

"No."

Albus and Scorpius spoke the word at the same time. They stared down each other until Scorpius flipped over and said, "No way could yours have been worse, Potter."

Finn strolled back in then, carrying crisps and licorice wands. He looked between Albus and Scorpius curiously and sat down. Albus crossed his arms and tried to blink away the blurriness of the Firewhisky.

"There's not even the slightest of chances that you had a worse Christmas, Malfoy."

"Oh yeah?" Scorpius challenged. "My parents left for a vacation without even inviting me, leaving me to spend Christmas alone in this big empty house."

Cale felt bad for thinking his Christmas had been bad. In truth he'd only thought it had been bad because there had been so many people staying at his house that he'd had to share a room with Finn. So he grimaced in understanding for Scorpius and didn't say anything else.

Finn, meanwhile, was looking at Albus. Albus was looking down at his hands.

"Everything was going- perfectly," said Albus. "Until Christmas dinner when my sad fucked up little brain told me that my family wouldn't miss me if I were gone." Albus's eyes flickered up to meet Scorpius's. "Then Al came in, stood up and told everyone what I tried to do in August."

"Oh, Albus," Finn murmured, horrified.

Albus laughed darkly. "As if that wasn't bad enough Al then told them that they're all sadists for letting me keep on living when I'm in so much pain. He said that me being a masochist makes everything that much worse and that we should all drink for Albus's last Christmas! When I came back I almost killed myself right there."

A stunned silence followed Albus's speech. Then Finn let out a tirade of swear words and all but forced the rest of the Firewhisky down Albus's throat. Cale looked horrified but Albus just laughed because oddly, it was exactly what he wanted.

When Cale had recovered he asked Albus if he thought Al would make an appearance tonight. Albus was spared from answering when an emotional Finn suddenly burst into furious tears and apologized again for having thought for a bit that he enjoyed Al's company more that Albus's.

"S'alright," said Albus with a shrug that was supposed to seem like he didn't care but in reality he cared quite a bit. "Al is... wild and fun and more like you, Finn, than I ever was or will be."

Finn sniffed and rubbed his face harshly on the sleeve of his sweater. Cale looked at Albus sadly like he wished he had a great solution to the problem but knew he would never find one.

Scorpius just stared.

Albus tipped the last of the Firewhisky into his glass and downed it. He wiped his mouth and said in a low, gruff voice, "Sometimes I even like Al better. He's fun and even though he told my entire family about how I tried to kill myself at least he wasn't the one who did it." Albus brought the bottle to his lips and tipped it upside down, drinking the last few drops. "I mean, other than the cigarettes and the potential drinking problem Al is fucking great."

There was a brief uncomfortable silence that followed Albus's confession but the boys were spared from talking about it when Albus shuddered and closed his eyes with that same strange look crossing his face. Cale sat up straighter and Finn looked instantly wide awake.

Al cracked his neck and opened his eyes, a mad grin spreading across his face.

"Lads," he said with a wink.

Cale began laughing in that drunken hysterical way. Finn chuckled lightly and said, "This is gonna get ugly."

Meanwhile Scorpius sat there on the couch staring at all three of them in turn without the slightest clue as to what the flying fuck was going on.

Cale's head suddenly snapped up, his face alight with excitement. "Holy shit I just realized! That time you were really sexual with me on the train! That was you, not Albus, wasn't it?!"

He didn't even wait for an answer. He just burst out laughing and then said, "And with Scorpius in the library that time!" Scorpius was brought out of his thoughts at the mention of his name. "That was all you!"

Al winked and opened his mouth to say something but Cale was on a roll.

"Wait so, is Al gay?"

Al shrugged. "Dunno. Sometimes I like girls and," he looked directly at Scorpius, "sometimes I like guys."

Al laughed to himself while Finn and Cale shared a look. Scorpius just sat there, drunk and stunned.

"Wow, I'm hurt, Al," said Finn, leaning back casually on his hands. "You've hit on Cale and Scorpius but not me. Ouch, mate."

No one was emotionally ready for what Al did. He grinned suggestively at his best friend before he crawled over to him, took his face in between his hands and kissed him right on the mouth. Cale gaped at the pair of them as Al worked his mouth over Finn's. Scorpius might have done something but as Al was kissing Finn he was looking over his shoulder- right at Scorpius. The blond boy wondered if he was just so drunk that he was hallucinating. Or he had passed out, that was a good explanation too.

After a solid thirty seconds of snogging, Finn pushed Al off and scrubbed at his lips.

"Great, now I can cross off kissing a boy from my bucket list." He said it like he was annoyed but he was grinning. Finally Scorpius shook his head and leaned forward into the conversation.

"Oh, I just remembered," he said. "Yeah, I have no idea what's going on."

Al, Finn and Cale looked at each before bursting out in identical laughs. Al quickly calmed down and while the other two were still laughing he looked directly at Scorpius and said, "I am not Albus Potter."

Finn filled in the rest and when he was done, Scorpius's view on the middle Potter child was completely backwards. He didn't even know this kind of thing happened or that wizarding medicines couldn't fix it. He realized that everyone else was staring at him, waiting for his reaction. Al appeared at ease but Scorpius could see in his eyes that he was worried, like he needed Scorpius to be okay with this. Scorpius couldn't figure out why he would care but for right now that didn't matter.

Scorpius cleared his throat.

"Well shit," he said. "Makes my daddy issues look like a paper cut."

The twins laughed but Scorpius was only looking at Al. A smile pulled at his lips when he saw the look of relief on Al's face. Scorpius still couldn't figure out why Al had been worried but he decided he didn't care. So he smiled back and went off to steal more liquor from his parents' cellar.