Hey everyone!
So I am back, I know I usually put two chapters up a week but you know things happen and I've sort of been in a funk this week as well as I've been working on chapters for other stories. I hope this is decent cause I've had writer's block.
I'll let you read and leave the long AN where I just ramble at the bottom if you want to read it.
By the way this is written on my phone so many mistakes not my problem.
WARNING:There's one scene here they'd I'd like to let you know about beforehand.I wouldn't label it as attempted rape, there's no crude language or gestures, I made it quick and just made their intentions and desire clear. The purposes of that particular part is to show what a terrible area that the Seam, (the poor) live in and to show that Peeta's fear for her isn't exaggerated. If that makes you uncomfortable please skip it.
-If you would not like to read that part you can read up to where it says Friday, Okay?-
Alright enough of that let's begin.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games but I do own a copy of each of the books
*Revised Dec 11, 2014*
_
It's hard letting go,
I'm finally at peace, but it feels wrong,
Slow I'm getting up,
My hands and feet are weaker than before.
"Silhouettes" By Of Monsters and Men
Chapter 10: Not sure anymore
-Thursday, at school in the hallway-
I've come to find how hard it is to ignore someone and just block them out, especially someone as persistent as Peeta. No matter where I turn or hide, he's always there, we've run into each other over the course of the past two days, he always trying to get my attention but I quickly brush him off.
But then Glimmer's words come back to me, "After all nobody wants a poor homeless girl, especially not him." Those words seem true, true enough for me to believe them. After all Peeta doesn't know I'm homeless yet and if he did he'd run, I know he would. So I guess it is partially good that I ignore him. Might as well keep my dignity and save myself from the hurt.
Right now I travel through the main hall to my next class, my hands gripping the threadbare straps of my backpack and my eyes taking in everyone catching their daily glimpse of the girl with the sunken eyes. Glancing to the side I see it is no other than Peeta and Finnick, I quickly turn away but I caught a glimpse of something next to them, more like someone; a girl.
I glance again and see the girl from Monday morning, Annie she said her name was; the new girl. Her dark hair cascades down her back and her vibrant green eyes, like the color of grass, dart over to Finnick who probably just said something stupid as her lips are twisted in a grin.
A sharp pain twist at my gut, they've already found someone to replace me and she's a better addition to the group than I ever could've been.
Peeta laughs as well as Finnick gets more detailed with his story frantically moving his hands as a stupid look is on his face. They all lean against the wall watching as Finnick dramatically jumps back with a scared expression. I shake my head and look down before they catch me, when I look up again Peeta's eyes touch mine across the hall, he looks like he's considering talking to me but I quickly glare and hasten down the hall quickly to escape the sight.
My heart gives a violent twist.
-Thursday, Math class-
Mr. Crane claps his hands together before speaking. "Before we begin class I'd like to announce that the school will be hosting a dance in March it's not mandatory for you to attend-" I zone out as soon as he says the last part, I've never been to one of those things and I don't plan on it either, I have more important things to do than go to one.
The instructor snaps his fingers in front of my face as he drifts around the room to pull me back into focus, "But it is encouraged for you to attend especially if you're failing, if you go your grades will be boosted up and this could mean you failing or passing."
I need the extra credit but I am not going to that. No way.
Everyone darts out as the bell rings signalling class is up, I stand up from the lonely desk in the back of the room and make a move towards the door only to be stopped by a voice.
"Katniss could you come here for a moment? "
I turn around and go to the instructor, Mr. Crane's desk.
"Yes?"
"Are you considering the school dance?"
"No," I reply firmly.
"Katniss you really should, your grades are dropping fast, it could save you from failing." He insisted in a encouraging manner.
I shook my head again, telling him the same answer I did before without speaking.
"You are dismissed, but Katniss, really think about it."
"Okay," I say heading out, only to find Peeta.
I make eye contact with him but quickly, gracelessly peregrinate past him and down the hall at a fast pace. But he matches my strides and stays with me.
"What, Peeta?" I hiss coldly and glare at him, I'm hoping that if I remain to treat him this way he'll just leave.
"I need to talk to you, I don't know what I did, I'm sorry, but please let me talk," he looks back at me and the vulnerability is evidently placed in his eyes and it makes my heart constrict, but then I remember Annie, I've already been replaced, he's a good actor. I know they don't need me.
"No I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone," I say bitingly.
He doesn't stop walking with me, "Katniss why though, I don't understand, help me understand. "
"You figure it out Peeta, It's not hard!" I shout frustrated, with my words I'm really referring to Annie, that's what I want him to think, he can't know the real reason.
A few eyes look at us, I quickly scurry from the scene and hurry away from Peeta before he gets anything out of me.
Because he can't know anything about me, and I intend to keep it that way.
He can't know why I'm angry either, or the reason I must stay away from him, because my actions and decisions now will cause consequences later.
-Friday-
I had to wait around school for hours for the after school sports to finish so I could sneak in and take a shower before the doors of the school got locked. Preferably I shower in the mornings only when it is necessary, but I couldn't today the cheerleaders have practice on Friday mornings that would only equal an encounter with Glimmer as well as many other of the stuck-up cheerleaders, and on top of that they would wonder just why I'm showering there. Of course Glimmer and her group would know but I doubt they would expose that secret as they use it have leverage on me. Still I just wouldn't want to be there it's way to risky on Friday mornings, afternoons are slightly better.
In the end I am just now on my way home walking through the old dark alleys and over cracked snow-covered side-walks, gang activity is frequent around here at night especially on Friday night's and knowing this fact makes me more than uneasy.
The darkness casts gloomy shadows on everything tonight, in the sky the moon's hidden by the clouds that hang low, hollers of gangs and loud rap music echo in the distance leaving a strong dread twisting in the pit of my stomach and my mind keeps an alertness that leaves me carefully scanning the area.
It's when I cross around a corner and find a few large silhouettes standing in my direction that my heart drops.
Slowly they move step by step closer, "What do we have here, a girl by herself at this time of night?" One speaks, a deep males voice.
I quickly snap around and run the opposite direction my heart violently pounding in my throat, my legs aching and my throat burning, but I have one thing in mind, Running. The loud clap of multiple footsteps sound behind me alerting me that the group is perusing me and reminding me that I can't stop for nothing.
Zig-zagging and going in various directions I know for sure I am lost now, but it doesn't matter anymore. It's one of those gangs for sure, it's not exactly uncommon for a girl to be attacked out here, especially at night. I've always found it unfair that girls have lacked the physical strength men have. We're set up for trouble like this to occur.
A dark place creeps up around me, where am I? I breathe hard and look around wildly I hear the thumping of footsteps coming, then they appear 3 feet in front of me, my eyes widen and I gulp, they persist walking forward and I scramble backwards nearly a few steps before slamming my back into something hard.
A brick wall.
A Dead end. They walk closer boxing me up against the wall, fear and panic creep up my body in a shudder, running through my veins and thoughts.
No, no don't panic yet, I can't still get out of this, I can, I can. I'm not even sure if what I tell myself is true anymore.
The one I suppose to be the leader moves forward, and immediately I jump. I can't scream, or move, it's as if I've just had ice water dumped over my head and my fire has been doused. I'm frozen like a deer in the headlights. Frantically, I look for an escape, as my heart beats in my ears, but I don't see one the group takes up the whole exit of the alleyway blocking me against the wall.
Immediately I find one way out I can see it now, I can't overpower three men but they're drunk and I can surprise them. I'm clouded by fear, what if I'm not fast enough and the others catch me?
I don't have time to think. This is my last resort. I gulp and tender.
At my sudden force I jab my knee up and hit the leader exactly where I intended. He groans before I bring my elbow back and slam it solidly into his windpipe. I shove his body over and jump over it darting away and running wildly towards the woods, my safety.
The clatter of footsteps don't follow but the beating of my heart and cold terrified shivers do.
Okay so not a huge Chapter but something.
Okay here goes my rambling, Catching Fire! Its so close many are about to see and you are going to the Midnight premiere, Lucky!
I'm going Saturday to see it in IMAX, I've never seen an IMAX movie so I'm excited, and that movie is Catching Fire so I'm ecstatic! Weird part is I'm going by myself, yes I'm a loner. And I really hope I'll be able to get in because I'm 13 and I look like an 8 year old.
Well what's exciting with me...um well- oh got new bed sheets and they're red! Catching Fire colors! :P
The song for this chapter I just found it today, and I've literally been listening to it all day so that's how it made its way inthechapter.
Well I'm going to shut up well you guys enjoy whatever you'redoing oh andwhenyouseecatchingfire tell me how it was.
Review and Peeta will give you virtual cookies. (::) (::)