"What does soon mean?"
Rick watched Abraham's brow furrow at the question, could tell the other man was clearly thinking he was an idiot.
"You drinking again?" Abe asked with a loud laugh. "Here, I'll Google it for you."
He made a show out of pulling out his phone and Rick let him, quite amused if he were being honest. Rick knew damn well what soon meant. He just wanted to know what Beth had meant by it, had wanted Abraham's opinion without having to give all the details away.
"Soon - promptly or quickly, before long, in the near future, within a short period of time. There. Does that help at all?" Abe asked, sticking his phone back in his pocket with a shit eating grin on his face.
"Not really."
It hadn't helped at all. The phrase promptly or quickly standing out in Rick's mind more than anything else Abraham had said. It'd been a week since Beth had left that message on his cup and he was fairly certain seven days would not be considered prompt or quick.
Still, he wasn't ready to give up quite yet. And while he had Abraham's attention, he figured he'd take advantage before they called it quits for the day. He'd waited forever to attempt the conversation, had hoped that while they closed up Abraham might be too distracted to realize Rick was asking his opinion. Because the only thing worse than feeling like a confused teenager over a girl was quite possibly coming to Abraham Ford for advice.
"Say a woman says she's going to do something soon. At one point do you think she changed her mind?" Rick asked, not believing the words coming out of his own mouth.
If he needed anymore proof that desperation was setting in he had to look no further than Abe's face that was staring back at him as they both stood behind the counter, trying to fight off the smile on his face.
"It depends. Is she talking about cooking dinner or throwing your shit out on the lawn?"
"Neither."
Rick watched his friend sigh in frustration, fed up with the vague answers.
"Look, either give me more to go on or shut up and get to work. Just because it's your last week doesn't mean you can slack off. I can always fire you."
"And I can always write you a ticket later." Rick joked back, glad to be off the topic of Beth, almost wishing he'd never brought it up.
But only almost. With each passing day, he found himself making excuses to drop her name into random conversations, having to stop himself from picking up the phone and just asking her what she'd meant. A part of him had hoped Abraham would ask who he was talking about just so he'd have an excuse to think about her again. It was getting bad. So bad that he was happy when the other man changed topics, told himself he needed to get a grip.
"So you ready to put the badge back on? Sure you can handle it?"
Rick knew what Abe was getting at. Was he going to be able to stay sober under so much pressure. It was the same thing his future Lieutenant had asked, a question that Rick had put a lot of thought into. And while he knew he couldn't predict the future, afterall, he'd never once imagined that he'd one day turn to alcohol, he felt confident in saying that the chances were slim.
Things were finally falling into place again, his relationship with Carl had finally gotten to a point where it resembled their old one. And he was happy to say he'd done all on his own, one of the reasons he'd turned Beth away that night. It hadn't all been for her sake. Rick knew it would've been easy to lose himself in her, to replace Jack Daniels with Beth Greene. But he probably should've told her that, he'd eventually realized. And maybe if she really gave him the chance to apologize, he would.
"I think I'll manage." Rick finally answered, knowing this new change in his life could only be a good thing.
"Carl proud of you yet? Or is he too old for that kind of thing?"
"Too sick. Well, he was. Now he's just mad that he's gotta go back to school in a few days. Guess it's better than being in the hospital though."
Abe just nodded his agreement, finally pulling the keys out of his pocket, a signal that it was time to go home. It was starting to get bittersweet with each passing day as they packed up and locked the door, Rick knowing there were only a few more times they'd be doing it together. But it was time, he knew that. The shooting range had been a stepping stone, one he was grateful for, but one he was ready to move on from.
And as he walked towards his car, Rick's mind went back to Beth, knew she hadn't been just a stepping stone. Because even after seven months, he wasn't ready to move on from her, he just wanted to move forward. Out of all the things that had changed, he still wished Beth hadn't had to be one of them.
Rick blamed his distracted mind for not seeing her car when he pulled in front of his house. Maybe a part of him was still accustomed to seeing it parked in the driveway, whatever it was, it didn't matter. All he knew was that when he walked through his front door, there she was, sitting in the floor playing video games with Carl like she'd never left. And that he actually tripped over his feet when his eyes landed on hers, couldn't stop the next words that came out of his mouth.
"You're here."
It reminded him of how he used to walk through the door, but instead of frowning at her presence, he was smiling. Didn't even try to hide it, not even with Carl sitting there witnessing the entire exchange.
"Mhmm. Thought I'd come see Carl."
Even though she was smiling at him with those big blue eyes, Rick still felt his stomach drop a little. Of course, she was there for Carl, he reminded himself. She'd never gotten a chance to see him in the hospital. But still, she was there. That was all that mattered.
He stood there awkward for a minute, not sure what to say, especially not with his son in the room.
Carl knew what had happened. Rick had finally had to break down and tell him, the basics at least. He'd left out the kissing and the backrubs, but once his son's anger had reached levels he'd never quite seen before and had accused Rick of screwing up, Rick had finally came clean. Admitted that the fear of screwing things up had quite possibly led him to screwing it up anyway. He remembered the look on Carl's face as he'd told him that whatever happened between him and Beth, he wanted it to be right. For him to be in a good place, but her especially. That Rick wanted Beth to want them, not just the distraction they provided. Carl had looked equal parts mortified at the idea of Rick and Beth but also slightly amused by Rick's claims.
And eventually, the boy had calmed down. It had taken a few days, but it'd happened none the less, reminding Rick once again just how grown up his son was becoming. That Carl could selflessly put himself in his father's shoes and show Rick a grain of understanding had been obvious.
And it still was. Rick was positive the blush on Carl's cheeks matched his own, seen the boy squirm as Rick stood there like a jackass, probably not only embarrassed by Rick, but for him.
"You wanna stay for dinner?" He finally asked her, figuring he may as well humiliate himself a little more.
But he figured there was no going back now, what was the point? He'd already made a fool out of himself, he may as well try to accomplish something while he did it. Even if it was making Carl stare at the screen in disbelief, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but in that room with them.
"Sure, I'll stay." She finally answered, and Rick watched her eyes dart towards Carl before finally meeting his own, both of them sharing a secret smile at how uncomfortable the kid was. "You want some help in the kitchen?"
Rick shook his head, positive he could manage on his own, certain that he wanted Beth to stay put. Didn't quite trust himself to say anything that wouldn't scare her way if they were left alone.
"It's okay. Relax." He finally told her, couldn't put the brakes on his next words even if he'd tried. "Just let me feed you."
He was trying to tell her that he just wanted to take care of her for once, to do her one small favor without expecting anything in return. And before he could watch her reaction to the statement, Carl replied first, clearly having figured out Rick's meaning and entirely fed up with the moment.
"Dad."
His son's eyes were staring into his, clearly trying to reign Rick back in, giving him a warning that Rick needed to shut up. And if it hadn't been for Beth's laugh, Rick might not have chuckled too. And when Carl just rolled his eyes, finally throwing in the towel, Rick dismissed himself into the kitchen. He didn't even flinch when he heard Carl whispering under breath, words that sounded a lot like teasing.
Rick behaved himself through dinner. Happily allowed Carl and Beth to carry most of the conversation. It was relaxing, made even more enjoyable by the small, quick looks that Beth would shoot him while Carl was looking down at his plate. Stolen glances that were always accompanied by a smile. And Rick knew it wasn't just because his food tasted good. Maybe she had stopped by to visit Carl, but he was starting to grow suspicious that her promise on his cup had finally came around.
It wasn't until they had all cleared their plates that the reality started to set in. That it was time for him to figure out what he wanted, needed, to say to her. That maybe she was finally going to give him a chance, a chance that he couldn't stomach messing up again. There might have been nothing but laughs and smiles at the dinner table but Rick knew as soon as he got her alone it was time to be serious. To finally say all things he'd been waiting seven long months to tell her.
"I think I'm gonna go to bed."
When Carl spoke the words, Rick glanced over at him, not quite sure if he was being serious. Carl never went to bed so early.
"You feel alright?" Rick asked, almost worried his son wasn't feeling well. It was an easy conclusion to jump to after everything they'd been through.
"I'm fine. Just tired." Carl assured him.
And that was when Rick realized what his son was doing, could tell from the mischievous twinkle in his young eyes. Carl was purposely leaving them alone together.
Rick didn't know whether to thank him or beg him to stay as he watched Carl get up and set his plate in the sink. Instead he stayed glued in place, wished his son a goodnight, didn't even speak when he heard the bedroom door close, leaving just him and Beth at the kitchen table.
He wished he could claim the silence that followed wasn't awkward, but it was. Even Beth felt it, finally getting up too to put her own plate in the sink. Rick thought she was about to leave, knew he had to find the right words, wasn't quite sure what she wanted him to say. But when she started to load the dishwasher, he breathed a sigh of relief, happy to see that she didn't already have one foot out the front door. Which was probably what he deserved even after all of this time.
"Let me help." He finally offered, but still made no move to get up. It wasn't that he didn't want to help, he just realized it was easier for them to talk with her back turned.
"It's fine. You cooked, I'll clean. It isn't like I haven't done it before." She joked, and Rick could only imagine the smile that was her on face as she was remembering their first encounter, amazed she could find humor in it now.
Finally, he stood up, walked towards her small figure. When he placed his own plate in the sink, Rick lingered, his chest practically touching her back. Leaned in so close to her that he could smell her fruity shampoo, could feel her sharp intake of breath when he whispered his next words into her ear.
"I'm sorry."
He wanted to list every last thing he was sorry for but he knew that wasn't what she wanted. Beth didn't want a play by play of every bad deed he'd ever done, she was just aware of them as Rick was.
"How do I know you won't just disappoint me again?" She finally asked, the question so beautifully raw and to the point that he couldn't help but to firmly grasp her hip in his hand, closing the distance between their bodies. To finally bury his face into her neck, gently pressing his lips to her skin.
"You don't." He replied in between his tender kisses, his mouth barely making contact with her skin as he slowly paced his mouth downwards, leaving a trail of goosebumps as he went. "But now you have something to fall back on if I do."
It was the truth and Beth deserved the truth. Rick couldn't promise there would never come a day that he'd disappoint her again. That he'd never hurt her. All he could do was apologize for the past, not promise the future.
"I get why you did it." She finally whispered, tilting her head to allow him better access, each kiss he placed more intense than the last.
When he finally reached her shoulder, he stopped, only long enough to pull down her sweater, exposing the flesh underneath. Looking up to see her reaction, Rick watched Beth closing her eyes, giving in to the attention he was paying her. As his fingers gently slid her bra strap down, he felt her sigh against him as he continued what he was doing, his lips kissing her warm flesh painstakingly slow.
"But you didn't have to kiss me first. It was cruel."
The honesty of the words hurt, and the only thing that took away from the sting of the burn was her hand finally coming to his face, the backside of her fingertips caressing his jaw before entangling with his hair.
It was getting harder to concentrate on his words, but Rick knew he had to. Even if he wanted to sink himself into her, to taste every last inch, he couldn't. Not yet.
"I'm selfish." He told her, landing another kiss onto her shoulder, finally allowing his teeth to graze her skin. "And I'm sorry."
Another kiss, her fingers yanking on his hair harder, pulling his head back up until his lips landed on that sweet spot on her neck. Rick could feel her pulse beating hard against his lips, finally covered it with his mouth, lapping greedily with his tongue, her ass pushing against him at the sensation.
He continued on for a bit longer, the sound of the dishwasher's low hum almost hiding the first moan that he pulled out of her. Rick knew he was going to leave a mark, but Beth held his head in place and for once he wasn't going to let her down. Not until she pushed against him once more, seeking relief from the same ache Rick had that he stopped.
It was cruel, but he'd always been good at cruel. And before anything else happened, he had to look her in the face. Had to ask his next question as he turned her around to face him, even if her eyes were already filled with same need he was.
"You trust me?" He asked, and despite his best intentions to keep her clear headed, Rick found himself kissing her jaw anyway, couldn't quite keep his hands to himself as he pulled her hips closer.
"You don't play fair." She whispered, but Rick could hear the satisfaction in her voice.
Still, he stopped. Completely pulled away, even let his arms hang awkward at his sides to prove he was willing to play however she wanted. Even if he felt completely exposed standing there under her gaze, it didn't matter. And while it was reminiscent of the last time he'd left her hanging, there was no hurt in Beth's eyes this time as she stared him down. He watched the pleased smile spread across her face, the realization of what he was trying to do, that he was giving her the chance to reject him once and for all.
But Beth had never been as cruel as Rick.
"I trust you." She finally told him, her hands running over the stubble of his face, pulling his body back to her. "I don't think I ever really stopped."
He watched her face as she realized the truth behind the words. That even she was surprised by what she'd said.
It was all he needed to finally wrap his arms back around her waist, to finally close the distance and press his lips against hers.
They shared a slow kiss, Rick took his time exploring her mouth while her hands explored his face, his hair, his shoulders. It was completely different from any other time they'd kissed, there was no rush, even if he wanted to. But he was happy to let his tongue take it's time dipping in and out of her mouth, gently stroking against hers. Even if every part of his body was waking up to the embrace, he knew he didn't have to hurry.
Even Beth seemed to be savoring it, she wasn't hurriedly pulling on his belt loops anymore, just stroking the nape of his neck, matching the pace of their mouths working together.
It wasn't lost on Rick that they were standing in the very same spot that he'd first encountered her, had first demanded that she leave, his words coming out angry and cold.
"Will you stay?" He asked pulling away just long enough to whisper it in her ear, trying to steady his voice from nerves now instead of anger.
"What about Carl?"
He seen the sneaky smile on her face, could tell her mind was in the same place his was. And the fact that this woman in front of him could still show concern for his son even though she was feeling as selfishly greedy as he was in that moment just made him want her more.
"He knows. Why do you think he left us alone on purpose?"
She tried to laugh, but Rick covered his mouth in her's once more, couldn't stop from helping himself to one more taste in case she left.
"Just because he wants us to make up doesn't means he thinks we're gonna make out. Or.."
Her voice trailed off as she hesitantly pulled away and Rick knew what she was hinting at it. The very same thing his own body was hinting at, made obvious by the growing bulge pressing uncomfortably against his denim jeans. The flush on her cheeks said the same thing, that her own arousal was as strong as his.
"He's a teenage boy. Trust me. He knows. You haven't seen his internet history..."
Rick knew he would've said just about anything to convince her to stay in that moment. Would've gotten down on his knees and begged. But he didn't have to. After she shook her head at how embarrassing his comment would've been if Carl had ever heard him, he felt her small hands grab his waist, finally grabbing a hold of his belt loops.
"You really have no shame." She told him.
And before Rick could reply she kissed him again, gently yanking his body in the direction of his bedroom.