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She was sitting peacefully in the center of a wide life green meadow. Her long sugary cherry blossom dress pooled all around her. Dark golden hair was like a beacon, it reflected the light from a sunless blue sky in rich waves of color. Cornflower eyes laughed beneath long feathered lashes. There was no humility in her pose, only child like naivety as she leaned over the grass in her low cut neckline and picked a bouquet of daises to pile in her lap.

Her small fingers began linking the stems in a chain and he watched as her sweet pink lips pressed together under her concentration. She was like a perfect doll. It jolted him to see her. To really see her after so long. She was only a girl, and he could no longer remember what it felt like to be so young and unaware. To be so happy.

Suddenly she looked at him, her sapphire eyes wide with apprehension. She looked right into him yet the innocence remained on her face. He watched her silently mouth his name. There was no sound, no soft chiming voice. There was a shadow of sadness on her face as she realized he couldn't hear her.

He didn't even try to speak, knowing the vision could fade at any moment, knowing he could loose her again so easily. He wanted to watch her, see her again, take in the beauty and the light that always made his world seem brighter as long as she was near. He wanted to be with her so badly it hurt him, he needed her, he needed his soul mate!

She shook her head at him and waved him away. She threw a flower at him as if to strike him! What was this?! He drew back in utter shock!

She knows, he thought, she knows what I've done and she hates me for it. His heart sank so far it was like a rock crushing him into the ground. A storm of darkness loomed above the horizon threatening to draw him in. He truly did deserve his fate, he deserved to be alone. But she quieted herself and again stared at him. He could not deny her Aquarius gaze. She shook her pretty head slowly and sadly. She looked down at her hands on her lap and back at him. There was a small smile on her face when she raised her head again.

""Thank-you, for taking care of me, for loving me, even though you're not mine. You could never be mine...""

Her thoughts stumbled awkwardly into his mind, even the familiar tone was like a child to him. A flood of warm tears caressed his cheek as her gentle touch entered his mind. What did she mean? Was she blaming herself for leaving him? It was absurd...Why wasn't he hers? They were married! They were soul mates! Weren't they!?

Pegasus froze. He looked at her again, he looked at Cecilia. It was the same girl, the same beautiful blue eyed girl he had become friends with in his childhood. She had been there when his family died, she had been there when he needed her. When ever the world threatened to overwhelm him with its pain she was there. They were only in their late teens when they married, when she died. He loved her, he had loved her... did he love her now?

""Maxie, you have to go! You can't come here sweetie, you can't! I won't let you stay! It's not right. It was a lovely dream we had, but that's all it was...a dream. You were good to me, you were always so nice, and I loved you with all my heart, but...you're more than what we had, you always were. I understand that now and I'm sorry...""

There was a look of such longing across her porcelain visage that it drove a chill into his heart. His thoughts spun wildly with confusion. What was she trying to tell him? What was she trying to say??

"" You have to go!!""

Again she waved at him with her hands as if he was only a fly she was trying to shoo away.

""Cecilia?!""

Pegasus thought desperately at his wife, at the perfect candy sweet girl he had called a wife. She was so young, so pure, how could he have been so blind as to think she could ever love something like him? He was a monster who was scarred through the ages by magic and death.

The field of wild flowers was washed in a veil of red before his eyes and he saw flashes beneath the grass of grisly white bones. This was his world, if he tried to join Cecilia he would tear down her peaceful heaven. No, he was right the first time. He deserved to be alone, he deserved to be destroyed. His soul was a danger to everyone and everything.

He backed away from Cecilia, he could no longer stand her too precious beauty.

""I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you.""

He shattered the gateway of her vision in his mind. He watched it dissipate into a million time tinted shards that he vowed he would never try to retrieve. It was time to end it. It was time to go past death.

The darkness, the shadows, the pulsing crimson energy that was blacker than black came at him now. It swelled all around him like a ravenous ocean. He welcomed it with all his weary mind. The heaviness of despair clung to him weighing his lungs with lead. He took one last account of his body, his mind, his soul. He paused on the brink of the abyss and felt who he was.

His long silver hair flowed out behind him and his white cotton robes shone against the starless expanse. The gold and amber Egyptian collar and the yellow rose tucked into the burgundy silk sash around his waist. The yellow rose...the pale yellow rose. She was dead, the one who gave him that token. She was the first of his victims. He had watched her die horribly, he had felt her die in his heart, and there was nothing he could have done to save her. Her violet eyes fixed on his until the light left them forever.

The sharpness of that dusty long past moment cut him so keenly it obscured even the power of the fate he had summoned. It was too much. He could not cry out it hit him so deep, a dagger of ice exploding at his core. He stumbled blindly, crawling towards the precipice of oblivion.

The thin power of the eye reached out to him and he gathered it close. This time it would win and he would take it with him into the void.

He felt the bright melody of life softly flickering through him. The tempo strung with morning dew and dessert heat, of mountain vistas and soft forest paths. He turned his back on that siren song. Too many times he had listened to it, too many times the fragrant blossom of life had hidden its thorns from him only to lash him senseless in the next heartbeat.

The same pain repeated over and over, the same yellow rose turning crimson. Death followed his power like the shadow of a vulture. It didn't matter what he did, they always died because of him, and he could never bring them back! He could never make it right! No one else would suffer by his hand again, never again! The pain had to stop! He had to make it stop!... He would make it stop.

Pegasus rallied his strength and stood up tall in front of the void. His aura glowed a soft twilight blue. One last breath, one last heartbeat, the shining wind of eternity howling around him. He closed his eyes, threw his head back, and let go. It was simply that easy. For an instant he felt himself falling...

""Tashum! Brother no!""

A pair of strong hands suddenly gripped him around his chest from behind. The voice was Yamis. He would know it anywhere. He turned his head and looked at the Pharaoh, his face as calm and dull as the void.

""This is not your concern my Lord. You need rest.""

He felt the strain coming from the other younger man. The Pharaoh was always too stubborn to acknowledge his limits. He felt the grip loosen and Yami looked at him cautiously. He knew he was having his sanity gauged.

""What are you trying to do here?! Tashum, I remember you, that's what you were called in the beginning. I remember who you were to me. We were friends, good friends! I can't let you,... it looked like you were going to...""

The bright garnet eyes narrowed at Pegasus questioningly.

""If you truly know who I am, then you know what this is for me. Let go. Brother, please. Let me go.""

There was no sign of pleading in the mans face as he spoke. No emotion at all. Yami frowned with concern. It was as if there was nothing left in Pegasus, he seemed so cold and hollow. His eyes, Yami looked into the mans eyes and they were as dull as ash.

This was worse than he had thought! This was no longer about love or being reunited with Cecilia. This was about pain. The Tashum he knew would give until he had nothing left, and then through some clever miracle find a way to give even more. His love of life had been unending and he never failed the call of another who was suffering. After so many life times had the well finally run dry? Yami gasped with the sudden realization and he grabbed the other taller man by his shoulders and shook him.

""I will not let you destroy your own soul!""

He yelled. There was no reaction. It was as if he were talking to an impassive stone wall.

""Tashum! Pegasus! Listen to me! You can not give up! Come back with me, come back to little Yugi. He needs you!""

Yami knew he could not keep his hold in Pegasus mind for much longer, his strength was already wavering. He kept searching the mans face for some flicker of emotion but there was absolutely nothing there. Pegasus was worse than dead already. His soul had given up.

Yami was determined to try one last thing. He took Pegasus by the arm and tried to lead him back to safer ground within his mind. Somewhere there was light, a memory, a thought, anything to distract him for a while.

Yami pulled but he could not make the man budge an inch. He leaned even harder, he felt weak with the humor of the situation. He should be able to pick up Pegasus, in reality he was an invalid right now. Yami strained harder and felt a sharp jolt of pain in his side. He doubled over and wrapped his arms around his chest.

""Gah! I forgot, so am I !""

He winced and tried to breath normally but his injuries had found him. He could not keep his mental spirit form and his spirit body separate for much longer.

The melody of life grew stronger in Pegasus along with the rush of pain from Yami. He could feel every twinge as if it were his own and the pain called to him. It called to everything he was. There was no denying it.

No. No, he would not! He had nothing left to give. Nothing. He had turned his back on life for good. He would not reach out to tempt the cruel universe again, to bend the uncaring fates, sway the savage whims of nature and creation...

But his heart kept whispering along to the tune life played. His mind, his body, his soul were all ready for the void. Yet his heart kept singing right along, feeling the pain, thrilling at the pleasures that were promised. This is who you are, it sang. The void will end you, but the pain will still be here. The pain will be in them when you're gone. The pain will still find them if you stay, but maybe...

""Yami? Are you alright?""

The soft warm tones of Pegasus voice melted into Yamis mind. He felt the soothing hands on his wounds again and the small river of energy that flowed from them. Yami looked up into Pegasus face as the man leaned protectively over him, the cast of endless compassion lit his eye like the gentle glow of the morning star. A quiet smile passed his lips as he watched Yami grow stronger. It was the same old Tashum.

""Where... do you get it all from?!""

Yami whispered in amazement. Pegasus blinked at him in surprise.

""What?""

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