Alex had texted Lena, and Winn both shortly after Kara's massive semi-stroke, and had explained everything. She told them about the serum, where the rest of it was in her office and had emailed them all of the research she'd done. Alex planned to stay in Midvale until Thanksgiving was over like she had promised Kara, and then join them in their effort to find an antidote. Alex decided that for the rest of the time she was in Midvale she would secretly work with Eliza as well.
Kara wasn't feeling well. It had only been a few hours since the serum had erased more of her memories, and Alex was terrified to figure out what else she'd forgotten, yet she wouldn't be able to figure the extent of the damage until Kara got out of bed and started being active again.
Eliza had just left to go to the store, so Alex finally had a chance to approach Kara without interruption. She gently opened the door to her childhood bedroom and caught a glimpse of a very frail looking Kryptonian. Her heart ached not only from seeing Kara in pain but from guilt as well… because if it weren't for Alex's actions, Kara would be able to remember her entire life. She'd be happy, and not in pain.
Kara was motionless on her bed, her arms over her head, and Kryptonian-strength ear plugs in her ears to prevent any noises from causing her headache to worsen, so she was completely oblivious to Alex's presence.
The agent took a moment to compose herself, before walking over to Kara, and gently tapping her arm.
Kara jolted up from her bed with wide and panicked eyes before realizing it was Alex and calming down. "Holy cow! Don't scare me like that." She said with a lazy smile as she slowly laid back down on the bed and took one of her ear plugs out. She closed her eyes again. "What's up? I'm sorry I'm being such a terrible host, I have no idea what's going on with this headache… I normally only get them when I am close by a really loud noise and my super hearing is over exerted." She whispered.
Alex smiled sadly. "That's okay, Kar'. I just wanted to make sure you're okay." She whispered back.
"Better now that you're here." The Kryptonian replied.
Alex tried hard to ignore the flutter of her heart that knowing her presence made Kara happy caused. "Well, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere Kara Danvers."
Kara's lazy smile turned into a genuine one, and she slowly opened her eyes to look at Alex. "Yeah?" She asked.
Alex nodded. "Absolutely. You're stuck with me now."
That was when there was a flicker in Kara's eyes, it was as if she recognized Alex, and the agent's heart stopped. "Kara?" She whispered.
Kara gingerly sat up, and cupped Alex's cheek with her hand. "You're the most intriguing human on Earth, Alexandra Grey." She crooned.
Alex's heart was beating rapidly. She swallowed thickly, trying her hardest not to let her overwhelming need to connect their lips win out. "You're just saying that because your head hurts." She tried to joke.
Kara did something at that moment that Alex really wished her Kara would do; she leaned in and pressed her lips to Alex's forehead. "I'm saying it because it's the truth. You make me feel alive, Alex. You're the best… friend I've ever had. It's like somehow we've always known each other."
It took everything Alex had inside of her not to let those words affect her the way that they wanted to. She wanted more than anything for Kara to remember. "I feel that way too." She whispered with a melancholy smile.
Kara smiled widely. "Is that maybe why you almost called me your sister earlier? Because you feel such a strong connection?"
Alex swallowed thickly as she nodded her head, it wasn't the entire truth, but at least it wasn't entirely out of the ballpark. It was the closest thing to the truth that she could tell Kara without it ruining everything.
"Yeah… Yeah, that's exactly what happened." Alex said with a nervous smile.
Kara nodded and pursed her lips. "I suppose that makes sense. I'm sorry that I reacted like that… I don't know what happened but as soon as you said that my head just started hurting."
Alex fought back tears, knowing that Kara's massive migraine was her fault. "It's okay. Don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry about. We can't help it when our body decides to screw with us." She avowed as she offered Kara a faulty smile.
Kara smiled kindly at her. "You're the best, Alex Grey… The absolute best."
Alex smiled, but her heart ached because if Kara only knew what that headache truly was, she wouldn't believe Alex to be anything but terrible.
XXX
That night, Kara had fallen asleep long before Alex had managed to, so Alex had made her way downstairs and into Eliza's office to study Kryptonian brains a bit more.
She was halfway through an article her mother had written when she had first studied Clark's brain when the office door opened.
Fearing that the intruder was Kara, she hurriedly slammed her book closed and dropped it under the desk, but when she realized that it was Eliza, she let out a breath of relief.
"Still can't sleep?" Alex asked sadly.
Eliza shook her head. "Still can't sleep."
"Me either. It's… it's hard. Sharing my room with the most important person in my life who doesn't even remember me is… well, it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced, and that's saying a lot."
Eliza frowned as she sat down in the chair across from Alex. "She's your sister, Alex. You have to remember that."
Alex's heart ached, and she placed the book she had just picked up from the floor onto the desk. "ENOUGH!" She whispered viciously, refusing to wake Kara because of her mother's bigotry. "Enough! Okay?! I get it. She'll never love me the way that I love her. She will always see me as a sister. I will never get to be with her. I get it! But you know what else, Mom? I also get that it's all because of you! She stopped loving me because you told her to, and she was too terrified of losing yet another family that she somehow stopped loving me. It wasn't because she didn't want to, it wasn't because she just stopped, it's because she was a scared little alien girl with nowhere else to go, her only surviving blood relative had completely abandoned her, and she had only been on the planet for three years so she decided that giving up our relationship was a better decision than giving up her life. We were never sisters until you broke us up, Mom. She never called you 'Mom', she never called Dad, 'Dad'. She never called me 'sis' because she already had parents, but they died. She just didn't want to be alone, so she did whatever was required of her so that she didn't have to face being abandoned all over again. You forced me to lose the love of my life long before Maxwell Lord did!"
Eliza sighed and shook her head. "She's already an alien, Alexandra. Do you want her to be even more alienated by society by having her be in an incestuous relationship as well? You are the only reason she felt at home on this planet, but if you two had been together permanently, don't you see how that would affect her? She'd be just like this… possibly even unhappier because I'm sure she wouldn't have stayed in the relationship once word got out that you two were not just foster-sisters. It was best for her, darling. Whether you like it or not, you weren't the one she needed to be with. You didn't see how vulnerable she was, how easy of a target she had been, and if anyone found out that you two were dating she could have been ripped away from us, which would have resulted in people finding out her true identity, and she could have been experimented on or worse… killed."
Alex clenched her jaw, she saw her mother's point, but it didn't change one thing. "You could have just told us to keep it out of the public eye until we were adults and moved away to a town that didn't know our backstory. Where we could just be Kara and Alex, two women in love with each other. I love her, Mom… and no matter what you say, no matter how she feels because of you, I will always love her much more than someone should love their 'sibling'."
Eliza sighed as she squeezed her temples. "Whatever happened to that Maggie girl? She was an adequate fit for you."
Alex felt rage at the mention of her ex-fiancée. "She wasn't Kara!"
Eliza stood up and shook her head. "Kara is your sister, Alexandra. Whether you like it or not, she will always be your sister. I will always love you, sweetheart, but I have never been more disappointed in you than I am at this very moment… Do not blame me for protecting my daughter."
Alex clenched her jaw, her heart had been through so much the past few months, and this was the tipping point.
She needed a goddamn drink. She stormed out of the room and went to the kitchen grabbing one of Eliza's most expensive bottles of scotch before heading to the backyard.
Her heart was on fire; she was at risk of losing Kara forever. Her mother would never accept their relationship even if Kara one day decided to be with her again, which meant that Kara would never be with her, and Eliza was disappointed in her… but honestly, when wasn't she?
She walked until she saw her and Kara's old treehouse and decided that would be her perch for the night.
She climbed up the ladder and sat criss-cross on the floor, her legs hanging off the edge as she opened the bottle, but just as she rose the bottle to her lips she remembered the promise she had made to Kara all those months ago:
"I went to my first meeting yesterday. I promise you, Kara. I will get sober. No matter what, I won't let you down, Kar'. No more alcohol… Not even Wine Coolers."
She had made a promise to Kara, and she refused to break it now… So as much as it pained her, she threw the alcohol out of the treehouse and watched as it shattered on the ground… She couldn't wait to get out of this goddamned hellhole and never return.
XXX
Thanksgiving dinner had finally arrived, and as Eliza and Kara were preparing the last of the food, Alex sat quietly at her designated spot, texting back and forth with Lena.
Alex: Any luck yet? I miss her, Lena.
Lena: I miss her too, Alex. She's there, but she's not, and it is really starting to be depressing. Winn and I think that we have found something useful; it might take a while, but I think it's a promising lead.
Alex didn't know whether to feel excited or terrified… She was somewhere between both. She let out a shaky breath as she sent the text.
Alex: Will she remember anything that happened during the time she was infected?
God, she hoped not… After everything she admitted as 'Alex Grey' if Kara remembered the past few months, she'd no doubt be disgusted with Alex. Possibly even demanding that Alex never step foot near her again, and that was something that she couldn't bear to experience.
She put her phone on the table when Kara came into the room carrying the turkey with a massive smile on her face. "HAPPY TURKEY DAY!" She squealed delightedly as she placed the bird on the table. "This is seriously my favorite holiday ever because it's all about FOOD!"
Alex chuckled and felt her heart swell with adoration for the Kryptonian. "You're a dork." She said with a fond smile.
Kara blushed at that, and Alex's heart skipped a beat… How the hell was this woman so damn incredible?
Once the rest of the food was finally on the table, Kara sat down across from Alex as Eliza sat at the head of the table, and they began their meal. As Kara sliced the turkey with her laser vision, Alex's phone vibrated on the table.
Alex discreetly checked it and read Lena's response.
Lena: It's a bit more complicated than that… I'm not entirely sure how to explain it over a text. Will you be home tomorrow?
Alex's heart palpitated, and she swallowed her worries as she replied.
Alex: Should be. I'll be at your office as soon as I can.
She looked at Kara who was placing a considerable portion of the turkey onto her own plate and then looked at her mother who was filling half of her plate with Green Bean Casserole.
She loved her mother, regardless of what had happened two nights prior, but being in her presence was currently destroying her.
"She placed some turkey and mashed potatoes on her own plate before digging into her own food."
But then something happened; something both marvelous, and torturous…. Kara moaned… She fucking moaned out loud as she placed a forkful of yams in her mouth, and it took Alex's breath away because damn did she love that sound.
She squeezed her thighs together to abate her arousal and continued to eat in silence, because what the hell was she supposed to do?
XXX
After a while, Kara stopped with her gorgeous groans, and they began to have a conversation; one that Eliza had butted into, so Alex was being forced to pretend to be on decent terms with the older woman.
"Right! But I didn't mean to, Mom." Kara said with a chuckle. "I mean, we kissed but somehow during that his nose ended up breaking, and I didn't mean to do it… I felt horrible!"
Alex had to fight back her tears and feigned a laugh when Kara and Eliza began giggling… Kara was talking about Jason… the first person she had kissed after she had ended their relationship… The first time Alex realized how painful jealousy was… How painful the rest of her life would be because she knew that Kara would never come back to her.
The worst of it all was that Eliza knew precisely what this was doing to Alex, but she seemed not to give a damn.
Kara appeared to notice something was off with Alex and furrowed her brow before asking. "Alex? Are you okay?"
The agent didn't know how to answer that question convincingly, so she took a sip of her juice and nodded.
Kara didn't seem to be convinced, but let it go anyway, and Alex could not have been more grateful.
XXX
After the dinner, Eliza had gone to shower, leaving Kara and Alex to do the dishes.
Alex tried her hardest to remain silent as she dried the dishes that Kara handed her, but eventually, Kara spoke up… Like Alex knew she would.
"Did I say something that upset you?" The Kryptonian asked sadly.
Alex's heart sank, and she immediately shook her head to dissuade Kara's guilt. "No! God no, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm just really missing Elle today. Spending Thanksgiving without her is really hard."
Kara pulled the brunette into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, Alex. No one deserves this type of pain."
I do. Alex thought. Because this is all my damn fault.
Alex couldn't stop her tears any longer, and she began sobbing into Kara's shoulder.
She cried for the loss of her mother's pride. She cried for the likelihood that she'd never get to love Kara the way that she deserved to be loved. She cried for the sadness she could see every time Kara's eyes met her own. She cried because she hadn't been able to figure out what Kara's migraine caused her to forget. She cried because she hadn't been able to work with Eliza that week. She cried because this was all her damn fault.
I'm sorry this took so long to update! Life is hectic right now, and I'm about to go on vacation for a while so it's been very difficult. I hope you enjoyed!