Sorry guys, I've been stuck in and out of hospital and school and no wifi and so many other obstacles that this has taken so much time. I had it all written, ready to be edited but so many things were blocking me, I'm so sorry.

But I can't believe that I'll be saying goodbye to this story now.

In these last moments I just want to say thank you, I'm planning on having a proper thank you chapter next time so do come to check that out. You've been so supportive through one of the hardest times of my life and here I've genuinely felt so happy just reading all your reviews, who would've thought that reviews and follows would help me so much!

But you've been so incredible, and I tear up every time I think of you guys. Even if you didn't follow or review, knowing that people have read this story means so much and thank you for helping me.

Ahhhh! Tears! Skipping to reviews, skipping to reviews!

Raxacoricofallapatoreous - Thank you, really. What you've done to help me through this is so much and, I am so so grateful. Thank you, for everything.

****off - Hi, I'm really sorry that you don't like my stories, if you write what you dislike in particular I'll be sure to correct it in the future. For now, do you think you could not swear? I'm really sorry but I think that some younger people read these and even I don't like swearing. Have a nice day.

AlexFocker - I AGREE PERCY IS SO AMAZING! And yes, if he was real I'd smother and pamper him XD Well, I guess we'll have to rely on the other Percy's in the World like you to save up :)

SunshinySmiles - (Oh my goodness your username is adorable and I love your Alex Rider x Percy Jackson crossover story!) I'm so glad you liked that! I think that we really make a mistake of looking at our heroes through rose tinted glasses which is an unfair perspective. Percy and the others do have their flaws and I'm glad you liked my portrayal of that.

Death Fury - You weren't joking when you said your stories were 'not happy.' but they're awesome! I just read 'The Untameable', it was knowing that I have such talented reviewers that got me through the worst of things! Thanks for everything!

steelmagnolia247 - It's people like you who make the difference between having to live and wanting to live. Thank you. For everything. For more than you can imagine.

Thesplash121 - If anything I'm flattered. Thanks for reviewing and supporting me on this, I really appreciate it.

Percy didn't smile anymore.

Not alone.

Not since Annabeth…

"ANNABETH!"

"S-Seaweed… Brain."

"You can't leave me! Not like… Not like the rest. You aren't getting away from me remember, we're stuck together."

Her face, streaked with blood and grime, looked content. She had never looked more gorgeous.

"I'll never leave you alone. I'm just, going on ahead. I'll see you in a while."

She smiled, and for a moment they weren't in a ditch with a claw piercing through her stomach. They were in the strawberry fields and she was teasing him with a clever joke. And he would pout… And she would laugh… And they would be together…

"Live for me, Seaweed Brain."
It sounded too much like a goodbye…

"Wise Girl. I can't… I'll be alone."

Everyone else had already gone on ahead. He was the last demigod of the old generation. Why did they have such short, cruel lives?

"I can't live without you… Please Wise Girl."

"I'm sorry… Percy… I love you…"

"I love you too… Annabeth."

Silence…

"Annabeth?"
"Annabeth…"

"ANNABETH!?"

He shot upright, fingers knotted in the sheets of the Poseidon Cabin. Despite the many years, there were no more children of the Sea. Zeus's Cabin was fit to burst, causing no surprise to anyone and much anger to Hera.

Jason and Grover had fallen many years ago, shielding a new demigod who had brought the tragic news to camp on her own. Thalia had fallen in battle only shortly after that, unable to bear the second loss of her baby brother. The three teenagers were like his siblings. Grover had been his oldest friend and the two children of Zeus were like annoying elder siblings, Thalia being the one who teased him about girls and constantly whined about him being uncool and boring.

Frank, Piper and Hazel had died in an invasion of Camp Jupiter a mere year ago. The three were a heavy blow but unfortunately not an unexpected one. It was hard to imagine a World where demigods could live for more than a few years. Everyone lived, but everyone died.

Nico had fallen years ago, smiling in death as he never had in life. He remembered consoling a heart stricken Will at the funeral and leaving a mint-condition set of Mythomagic cards with the boy who had grown up too fast.

Leo… Leo had been gone for a long time now.

All of them had left… Except for him. They faced battles and armies and monsters and then, they died. And he was left on his own. It was really his fault. He hadn't been there. It was completely and utterly his fault. He had been all the way in Camp Half-Blood, too far to get there in time to handle the first waves of the invasion of monsters. He should have been closer. He should have been there. All he remembered was reaching the battlefield, seeing the blood and the rest was a red haze of swords flashing, last breaths, clever manoeuvres and nick-of-time ducks. And through it all, he could remember the tears streaking his face, mingling and hidden with the sweat. And the heartbreaking feeling of being alone…

He was, and still is alone.

Percy had smiled when he was with others. It had been a long time now and he's lost sight of a time that the smile was real. It hurt, more than the sword cuts that weren't from training or fighting.

He fingered the scars, not liking their message. That he was weak, that they were gone. Each one was the same length, an inch for every person he lost. One started at his hip and zig-zagged up around his waist until it reached his collarbone. That was the biggest one, one that he added to every time a demigod fell. Every time a human fell. He closed his eyes, letting his fingers ghost over them, letting the images flicker underneath his eyelids.

Letting himself remember the one death that broke him.

Letting himself remember her.

It was strange. Sometimes he felt her, standing beside him, guiding him in with a smile on her face. There was a kindness in her touch, never really there and only when he needed it desperately. When he was fighting and an enemy was just out of his eyesight, she'd be his warning. When he was struggling over some tactical or logical problem she'd be the reassuring arm on his shoulder and the idea in his mind. When he was alone with a razor sharp blade and a head of haunted memories she was his witness. She'd cover his body with her own, protecting him from himself.

That was probably the safest thing, the smartest thing.

He was the biggest threat.

He was the reason she was dead after all.

The reason they were all dead.

He let out a humourless, strangled laugh.

It was strange though. Sometimes he'd forget how alone he was, in the hype of sword fighting, eating, living at camp. It was strange, scary and… In some ways nice. A brief reprieve from reality. But then he'd turn to an empty space and… It would vanish.

Every time it felt like the scars were reopening, the reprieve vanishing, replaced by an overwhelming sense of grief and pain.

The Pain…

He often wondered how Chiron dealt with this pain for so long, the loss of loosing those important to him. A teacher, watching his children grow up and… Having to watch them leave him.

He knew what it was like to be the last of a generation. To have lost too much family. The pain that he felt was one that he didn't bear alone. But then again, in some ways it was. Chiron had moved on from the deaths, he had already experienced the loss of those he held dear. That didn't mean that the old centaur didn't feel pain, more that he knew how to handle it. His scars would scab over and eventually faded to silver lines. Percy's were constantly picked at, lemon juice squeezed over them to keep them open, to keep the blood flowing. And all of this so that it hurt more, because it was his fault. If he had been there. If he had blocked that sword. If he had sacrificed himself. If he had gotten there quicker. If he had hunted more monsters. If he hadn't been in New York. If things had different back then.

But it wasn't.

He was still in his bed. He had torn the sheets now, his solid grip splitting the seams. It was just too hard. He didn't understand how people seemed to just 'move on' after an event. It didn't work like that. The pain lingered, carrying on into every part of his life. It would be better if he didn't see them.

Because he did.

It wasn't as though he saw blonde hair and remembered Annabeth. It wasn't as if he saw Hazel as a ghost or hallucination. It was that he saw them. All of them. They'd be there, as solid as anything with no sign of any scarring or any hint that they were dead. He didn't know how but it was as though they'd never died. Jason would sprawl across the couch, Leo clumsily piled on top of him, half knocked out because he was that exhausted. Piper would smooth away Jason's hair all the while giving a long-suffering look. Hazel would be hanging off Frank, shrieking as he swung around and almost made her loose her grip. Nico would be on his left side, acting as though the position was casual, trying to not make it a big deal. On his right was Thalia who took a sadistic sort of pleasure in electrocuting him when she got bored. Grover would be with Juniper, the both of them talking with love in their eyes, his best friend turning to smile at Percy every once in a while. Annabeth… Annabeth would simply be there. That was enough. It would be as though nothing was wrong. But normally it would only last for a few minutes, like a flashback before it slipped away, like water through his hands. No matter his power, it wasn't in his control and it left him.

It wasn't fair

Because sometimes the image lingered and it warped into something hideous. Something false. Something terrifying. Leo, instead of simply sprawled on top of Jason was dead, a sword slicing through the flesh of his back, revealing a flash of white that was identifiable as his spine. He had always stuck by Jason. It was only fitting that he should shield him from death. Jason was almost to charred to recognise. Acid had marred his once handsome features into a disfigured mess. His clothes and body were charred, as though he had been roasted in the heart of a flame and maybe that was how it happened. Piper was kneeling in front of him, a spear cleanly cutting through her body. He could see the tear tracks on her face. He could see it in his minds eye, her seeing him, kneeling over his body, leaving her vulnerable to… To…Nico looked frighteningly childish, not a mark visible. But he was motionless and he was curled around the blade of a sword. A sword that was embedded in his stomach. Hazel and Frank had died together. Her left leg had been blown off by a greek-fire bomb that had gone off too soon. He had been carrying her off to safety when both of them were flattened by a monsters club. Part of their body was smeared across the ground and it took all of his self-restraint to not throw up. Grover and Juniper were two intertwined bushes of foliage, together even in death. A sense of beauty even in such a horrific place.

Annabeth was gone and that hurt the most. Because it never mattered how terrible the situation was, as long as she was there. But she wasn't. And she would never be there again.

He shakily got up from the bed, navigating blindly. Trying to erase the false, warped images from his memory he walked to the bathroom, placing one foot in front of the other in a robotic, practised fashion. Today was going to be a bad day, he could tell. It was already in his mind. He groped in his pocket, feeling for a small metal tube. Pulling Riptide out of his pocket he grasped the cap hard, preparing to unsheathe the sword. He needed something to anchor himself to reality. To this reality. He couldn't live in his fantasy, he had to face his duty. He had to be strong for the campers. For Chiron. For the future Annabeths and Jasons. He didn't like his… Coping mechanism but he had to do it. For them. There was no other way.

I'm sorry Wise Girl. But this is the only way.

He placed the side of the sword along his arm, careful to not apply too much pressure. Not yet. When he had it aligned over an old scar, he took a deep breath, sliding it across his skin. A tingling feeling, followed by a warm liquid dripping across his skin. He bit back the wince, he was used to the pain now. He angled the blade deeper, mentally knowing he wasn't nearly deep enough to seriously harm was just to remind himself, to keep him strong. By having this one weakness he was protecting everyone else. It was for the greater good.

Sliding the sharpest edge across the arm he pulled the last part of the sword out of his arm, the shining metal marred by the red blood staining the blade.. The blood dripped off the point and he systematically cleaned the slippery liquid of the sword, aware on how it would congeal quickly if left alone. He waited.. Wishing for the initial pain to diminish before moving to the next part of his skin. Again and again, letting the pain wash over him like a blanket. He loved it, finally letting the voices, the screams vanish, replaced by the stinging in his arm. A reprieve that could go on for as long as he liked. After a while he let the sword drop, the weapon suddenly heavy in his hand…

Before lifting the blade with his other arm. He moved the blade so that it rested across his forearm, the point directly situated so that at the slightest bit of pressure, the metallic point would pierce through the first layer of skin. The first layer of skin in front of his heart.

This was too far. He had never wanted to abandon anyone. Suicide was wrong, he had a duty here.

But at the same time…

He could see Annabeth again.

His hand shook, strained with both the awkward angle with which he was holding the sword and the stress of what he was about to do.

He couldn't.

But… He wanted to.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Internally he knew it was wrong. Annabeth wouldn't want him to die just out of his own selfishness and cowardice.

But he wanted to.

It wasn't right.

But it was easy.

He wouldn't do it.

But what if he did?

It hurt…

"Percy."

A warm hand was fixed on his wrist. Firm and loose at the same time, tight enough so he was aware of its presence, loose enough that he wouldn't feel confined. That pressure was developed over years of comforting each other from nightmares.

Only one person had the right to hold him that way.

He turned his head, only his head, keeping the sword fixed. He met eyes. Grey eyes. Eyes that seemed sharp, like a whirling hurricane, that seemed like molten silver. Eyes that looked like they were plotting out a thousand ways to take him down. He knew those eyes.

Only one person had the right to own those eyes.

He looked wider now, loosing the tunnel vision. He saw the face, a face that he had dreamed of for years now. Uneven freckles, arched eyebrows, a permanent wrinkle in the forehead.

Only one person had that face.

Annabeth.

"Annabeth."

Her pink lips parted in a smile that was both beautiful and sad. Both of their eyes were full of tears. Her image blurred and he blinked. Never before had she ever looked so… Solid. So there. He hardly dared to hope but he didn't think that this illusion was just an illusion. Her eyes sparkled with the same allure of sunlight over an open ocean.

He hadn't seen those eyes in a long time.

There were tears on his cheeks, from when he blinked earlier. She reached out and wiped his cheek with her thumb, giving a sad smile. She didn't speak because that was never how they communicated. They had never needed anything like words to convey how they felt. No words could describe it anyway. Their love story wasn't some romantic movie of 'hands-almost-touching' and 'standing-in-the-rain.'Their love was different. It was of attacks against enemies where a single wrong move would cause peril, of 'I'm still here' kisses, of trying something new every day.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

"You just had to try that new deli didn't you!" He groaned, parrying a sword from a monster too creepy to describe, one that probably would give any other person in New York nightmares.

But he was Percy Jackson. He dealt with these creatures on a daily basis.

"Oh like it was my fault! You just had to investigate that noise. Practically every day you're like 'oh I don't want to invite trouble but today you're just Sherlock Holmes aren't you!"

"You're the daughter of Athena you decide on a plan!"

"Oh noooow you listen to me!"

"Okay fine, you're the cleverest woman I know, this is almost certainly my fault and please come up with one of your genius plans that will save us!"

"Almost?"

"Is! This certainly IS my fault, now fix this!"

"Well, since you asked so nicely…"

"Thank you!"

"I MIGHT help you out…"

"COME ON! I'll buy you whatever you want."

"That's what I like to here. Now, it's the exact same plan as the cyclops on the Underground."

"That… Might work."

"I'm a daughter of Athena, of course it'll work."

"I love you."

Every moment he stood still he found himself lost in a new memory. Every second seemed to stretch out, held forever in place by the feeling he got when he looked inside those grey eyes. He smiled, and unlike the past years, it was real. His heart was light with a sense of fulfilment and a new and strange hope that reminded him of his old day at camp, before the wars and the deaths.

"I love you."

That was Annabeth's voice. After so long that was Annabeth's voice. And this wasn't a hallucination, he could feel it. But the dead didn't come back, he had to say it now.

"I can't live without you."

There. He had been honest on Thor's rock and he was honest now. Living without her was impossible, he'd known that from the start.

She smiled.

"Percy. Please. Don't do it."

Her hand was still halting his sword but the strange insanity had gone now. He heard no more voices tempting him with the escape of death. There was only Annabeth, and he could never say no to her.

A love that lasted through strawberry fields and Tartarus.

He dropped the sword. It made a clanging on the ground, and freed from the heavy burden he collapsed, pulling Annabeth down with him. Her hair tickled his neck and he laughed.

I forgot what that felt like, to laugh.

Annabeth pulled back, looking into his eyes.

"Come on Seaweed Brain. We all miss you."

She stood up, pulling him up by his arms and led him into the other room. He blinked twice, still not sure if this wasn't a dream. Because the sight in front of him was one he'd longed for for so long.

Jason was sprawled across the couch, his head resting in Thalia's lap, she occasionally zapped him, meaning that his hair was stood up completely. He looked as handsome as ever. Piper was curled up next to Thalia while Leo sat opposite his best friend, cracking jokes and light-heartedly flirting with the girls, whining when they hit him. Hazel had her feet propped up on Leo's lap, resting her head up against Frank and loosely intertwining her hand with Nico's. Grover and Juniper were there, collapsed at Jason's feet.

He smiled at the site. The unfamiliar gesture hurt his face but the smile only widened. He took his place, Annabeth beside him. And he fit there perfectly, as always. He remembered the feeling. He recognised the warmth that bubbled up inside him, the heat with no real source that coursed through his body. He recognised the feeling of falling asleep surrounded by people who loved you.

He didn't remember falling asleep. Because he must have. He woke up the next morning with nobody beside him. He was passed out on the sofa, leaning on a pillow, hand intertwined with thin air. He might have dismissed the whole thing to his imagination when he remembered.

He didn't remember loosing his friends.

Sure he had closed his eyes, and they had vanished again.

Sure he had felt as though they had abandoned him, or that he had failed them.

But now, that one memory reminded him of others.

He remembered the pain that came with the memories, that would never fade.

But he also remembered the joy.

He remembered them.

And maybe, that was enough for him to want to live.

Either way, whether they were there or not… Well nobody needed to mention that now did they.

I'll have another chapter for everything else but now I just want to send out a massive thank you to everyone. I wouldn't be who I am without you.