A few days ago:
"Mommy I'm hungee" Judith whined, grabbing hold of Michonne's leg and yanking on her pants.
"I know baby" Michonne said, looking away from the stove long enough to pat Judith's head. "I'm almost done and then we'll go get breakfast" she explained.
"I want dat" Judith said, her tiny finger pointing at the bacon Michonne was making for Negan.
"I know, but this is Negan's" Michonne said bitterly. "Our food is in the pantry, just be patient baby"
"Daaaaatttt" Judith moaned, still pointing at the bacon. Michonne admitted it smelled delicious, and even her stomach was growling at the smell, but she and Judith never ate with Negan. The deal was that Michonne cooked the food, but Negan didn't share.
Judith was on the verge of a tantrum, and Michonne had to nip it in the bud. "Judith Grimes" Michonne said sternly, "don't you dare start that crying. We will go get some food in a minute when I'm done. You sit right here on the chair like a good girl, and while you're waiting mommy will sing you a song". Judith stood there with her arms crossed, staring Michonne down. Michonne was amused and a little impressed at the intensity in the two and a half year old's stare. It reminded Michonne of herself.
"Don't look at me like that Judith. Go sit down." Michonne said again. Judith huffed as she climbed into the chair more or less obediently.
"What song do you want me to sing?" Michonne asked, flipping the bacon over so the other side could cook.
"Wheels on da bus!" Judith yelled, suddenly excited.
"Ok, but you have to sing with me" Michonne said.
Michonne started to sing the wheels on the bus, with Judith doing all the sound effects. They got up to the babies on the bus go "wah wah wah" when Negan walked in, singing along with them. When Michonne heard his voice she immediately stopped singing and spun around. Negan finished the verse with Judith, and then patted her on the head.
Michonne immediately ran across the kitchen and snatched Judith off the chair, and out of Negan's reach. Judith was startled and tears bubbled to her eyes as she looked back and forth between Michonne and Negan, but she didn't cry out loud.
"I told you not to touch her" Michonne growled, staring Negan down.
"Good morning to you too. Fuck! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the floor today". Negan mumbled, sitting down at the table.
"How are you today Judy?" Negan asked.
"Good" Judith answered politely.
"Don't talk to her" Michonne said shortly to Negan. She put Judith down and said "Go get your shoes baby girl, we're about to leave". Judith gave Michonne a confused look, and then looked back over at Negan. She then followed her mother's instructions, going to find her shoes.
Negan chuckled. Michonne backed towards the stove, not turning her back on Negan. She quickly shut the fire off, and dumped the pieces of bacon on to a plate.
"Here" she said, dropping the plate on the table.
Judith returned to the kitchen holding her shoes in her hand. Michonne picked her up and put her in a chair so she could put the shoes on her feet. Negan watched as Judith looked longingly over at the plate of bacon.
"You want a piece?" Negan asked Judith. Judith quickly looked at Michonne. "I told you not to talk to her" Michonne responded.
"Well I'll talk to you then. Why don't y'all come join me for breakfast. You did cook it after all" Negan said.
"We're fine" Michonne said, finally finishing with Judith's shoes.
"Sit" Negan demanded. Michonne's head whipped around in disbelief at him ordering her to do something.
"Please" he said, patting the chair next to him.
"Mommy, I want dat" Judith said again, pointing at the bacon.
"All she's had for months is applesauce, it's not healthy for her. She needs protein." Negan said.
"Who's fault is that?" Michonne yelled. "Maybe if you gave me more points I could get her something else to eat! Or if you let me out the gates for once. Don't sit here and act like you have her best interest in mind. The only one you ever care about is yourself."
Judith's eyes got wide as she watched her mother yell at Negan. Michonne quickly picked Judith up and left the house, slamming the door behind her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Mommy, why you yell at Negan?" Judith asked, as she and Michonne were on the line to buy food at the pantry. Michonne quickly looked around and noticed a few other people were staring at her, interested in the conversation.
"Shhh baby" Michonne said quietly, "I'll talk to you somewhere else". She led Judith over to the counter. "Give me a jar of applesauce and a jar of peanut butter" Michonne said to the Savior at the counter. "We're out of peanut butter" he said. "I see two jars right behind you" Michonne said, annoyed. "The prices have been raised, peanut butter is twenty points now, seeing as we only have two jars left" the man replied, grinning at Michonne.
Michonne was not in the mood to play with this man. "Give me the peanut butter. Now. I'm not in the mood."
The grin left his face. "Who are you talking to? You Alexandrian bitches think you can come up in here any which way just 'cuz you're banging Negan. Doesn't work that way babes. You don't treat me with respect..." The man's words were cut off as Michonne grabbed him by the neck.
"Give me my peanut butter now" she growled.
Everyone else in the pantry stared as Michonne let go of the man. Stunned, the man reached down and passed her a jar of peanut butter and an applesauce. "It's nine points, take it off my tab" Michonne said over her shoulder as she grabbed Judith's hand and led her away from the counter.
As she was walking out, she heard someone say a little too loudly "that's Negan's hoe, don't mess with her". Michonne had half the mind to turn back around, but she was with Judy and she didn't want to cause more trouble. She was fuming. Partly because the man tried to jip her out of food for herself and her daughter, and partly because people were whispering about she and Negan behind her back. She had realized that people must think they had a sexual relationship, but to hear it actually being said hurt her.
She led Judy over to a spot by the lake so they could eat. Although it was chilly outside, it was warm enough for them to stay out for a little bit. "Do you want applesauce or peanut butter?" Michonne asked her, already knowing her answer. "Peanut butter!" Judy yelled. The girl had grown up eating applesauce and she tried to avoid it at all costs. It was a sensitive subject for Michonne because she wished she could give the girl more options of food, but the point system didn't allow that.
Michonne handed Judy a spoon and let her eat the peanut butter straight out the jar. Michonne pulled out another spoon and started on the applesauce. They ate together in silence, watching the lake. Michonne's mind wandered once again to what was said about her in the pantry. Her face must've shown it because Judy reached over and grabbed her arm.
"Mommy you look mad" she said.
Michonne snapped out of her haze and smiled at Judy "I'm ok baby".
"Why you yell at Negan?" she asked.
Michonne couldn't help but chuckle at the little girl. For a two year old she was extremely perceptive and she remembered everything. She could be distracted for a while, but she would never forget if she had a question about something.
"Negan can be bad sometimes, and I don't want him to touch you" Michonne tried to explain.
"Negan is bad?" Judith repeated.
"Yes, sometimes"
Judith was quiet after that, trying to reason in her two year old mind. "Why's he bad?" Judith asked.
"Sometimes he hurts people" Michonne said.
"You hurt people?" Judith asked. Michonne was once again floored at Judith's questions. She didn't know how to respond. Judith had just seen her grab a man's neck.
"Yes sometimes" Michonne said.
"Are you bad?" Judith asked.
Michonne sighed. She never thought a little girl could trip her up so much. Michonne lifted Judy and let her kneel on her lap so she was facing her. Michonne looked into Judy's little brown eyes.
"Sometimes I do things that are bad, but I do it to keep you safe. I'm your mommy and I would never hurt you. Do you believe me Judy?"
Judy nodded her little head and gave Michonne a hug. Michonne kissed Judy's cheek and then reached over to clean up their excess food. The applesauce and peanut butter would be their lunch as well.
After breakfast, Michonne made her way back into the house. As she walked past the kitchen she saw the plate of bacon was still on the table with a note.
I left this for the kid, she could use this more than I can.
Michonne rolled her eyes and left the plate and the note exactly where it was. She gave Judy her doll that Daryl had carved out of a piece of wood, and let her play with it in the bathroom while Michonne hand washed Negan's clothing. As she reached into Negan's jeans, Michonne found a crumpled up piece of paper. She opened it and found another note.
Thanks for washing my clothes.
Michonne was completely floored. She couldn't believe he actually wrote a note to her and left it in his jeans for her to find. Why? Was this some kind of mind game?
She checked his other clothing looking for notes, but it was just that one. She hated to admit it, but it bothered her that he would do something so intimate. It was something Rick would do, it was something a husband would do. She wasn't having it. She immediately tore up the note.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A few hours later, Negan entered the house with four of his men, looking agitated. Michonne wanted to confront him about leaving notes around, but she knew not to do it in front of his men. She was curious about why he was upset, and so she tried to stay in the kitchen where they couldn't see her, but listen in on the conversation.
"Who the fuck told that idiot to take a fucking hostage?" Negan spat. "The whole goal was to get the Kingdom to give us a wagon and a half of supplies from now on. No one told Connor to grab a fucking knight in the process. Now the Kingdom's gonna be up our asses!" Negan was yelling.
The four Saviors who entered with Negan just kept their heads down as he ranted.
Negan kicked the couch in the living room, moving it slightly from it's original position. "I should've just knocked that dumb-ass on his ass right in front of the Kingdomites. Now we have a fucking war because of that piece of shit! I can't tell them it was a mistake, it makes it look like I can't control my men!" Negan plopped himself on to the couch, resting his hand against his eyes.
His men stood there afraid to move. "Go drag that bastard outside and wait for me. Lucille is gonna get fed today."
Negan's men left quickly. Michonne didn't move from her spot in the kitchen.
"How much did you hear?" Negan yelled from the living room. She ignored him, but walked into the living room.
"Did you get my note?" he asked, a sly grin forming on his lips.
"Don't ever leave me anything like that again" Michonne said.
"Wow, I was just trying to show some fucking gratitude" Negan replied.
"You don't have to show gratitude. I'm not doing anything for you. I'm working. This is a job. This means my daughter gets fed. I'm not your little girlfriend, and I'm sure as hell not your little wife. And you can keep your bacon too. If you wanna do something nice, pay me enough points to care for my girl properly."
Negan just looked at her, his mouth slightly agape.
"Shit. That's the last time I'll do anything nice for you." he said.
"Good" Michonne answered, spinning around and heading upstairs to check on Judith.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Later that day, everyone was forced to go outside to watch the execution of the man Michonne assumed Negan was talking about in the house. Apparently, he kidnapped one of another community's men without permission as Negan was trying to extort them for more supplies.
Although executions didn't happen often, when they did the whole community was forced to come out, children included. Michonne looked around and saw her family, skinny and sickly looking from sleeping outside in the cold and not eating nearly enough. Everyone's eyes were sunken in with bags underneath. It made her not want to look at them.
She looked towards the Saviors and saw Glenn and Maggie holding baby Hershel, standing with them. He kept his eyes on the ground and was sure not to glance in the direction of the rest of the group. Michonne hadn't spoken to him since that night when he announced he would join the Saviors.
Michonne held Judy in her arms and told her not to look. Judy buried her face in Michonne's neck as Negan beat the man to death with Lucille. Afterwards there was just silence, as people went back to their normal tasks and jobs for the day. Michonne watched as Glenn kissed Maggie and then followed a group of Saviors towards a truck.
Probably off to extort some more innocent people Michonne thought bitterly, but she couldn't blame Glenn and she didn't. She was just as guilty for working for the enemy as he was.
As Michonne headed back to the house with Judy, she walked past two female Saviors and one of them whispered "Negan's hoe", causing the other one to laugh. Michonne put Judy down and told her to stay right there. Michonne then walked up to the women.
"Do you have something you want to say to me?" she asked.
"No, I think we pretty much said it" one of the women replied, turning to her partner to laugh.
"If I were you, I'd keep my stupid comments to myself. Especially since you've visited Negan at night three times in the past month, and unlike all his other conquests he immediately kicks you out when he's done. Ask your friend, at least she gets to stay the night. So which one of us is the hoe?"
And with that, Michonne turned around, grabbed Judy's hand and walked off while the women stared after her. As they walked, Judy asked "mommy what's a hoe?" "It's something you use to dig up a garden sweetie" Michonne replied.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The rest of that day Negan pretty much left Michonne alone. The plate of bacon she had cooked that morning lay sitting on the table where she left it, and she thought about what a waste it was. She picked up a piece and gave it to Judy. "Mommy what's this?" Judith asked. "It's bacon" Michonne replied. As Judith chewed on it she said "mmmm I like bacon". Michonne picked up the rest of the plate, grabbed Judy's hand, and brought the pieces out to her family who was living outside.
"Where did you get this?" Carol asked, closing her eyes to savor the taste. "Negan's breakfast of champions" Michonne said rolling her eyes.
"Damn that's good. Haven't had bacon in so long. Thanks Michonne" Daryl said.
When Michonne got over to where Abraham was he took one look at the plate in her hand and said "what in sweet heaven is that wonderful smell?" She flashed him a smile. "Bacon". He jumped up and ran over to her nearly knocking the plate out of her hand. "Just one piece!" She warned, "save some for Sasha and Rosita".
He greedily stuffed the bacon in his mouth, moaning with pleasure. He then wrapped Michonne in a hug, lifting her off the ground.
"Ok ok!" Michonne laughed "you're welcome. Here save these two pieces for the girls". Michonne still had one more piece left and she knew who she wanted to take it to.
Maggie had it rough since Glenn joined the saviors. Although everyone understood why he did it, it still didn't make it easy to accept. He had pretty much exiled himself from the family and therefore Maggie had as well. It was hard for her, dealing with a newborn son on her own with no support from the people she had lived with for years. Michonne knew what she had to do. She asked Abraham if he could watch Judith for a few minutes.
She hurried across to one of the few standing houses, where many of the Saviors slept. Although it was cramped quarters, it was warm, and slightly safer than outdoors. Michonne knocked on the front door and an older man answered.
"Is Maggie in there?" Michonne asked.
"Maggie?" The man asked confused.
"the woman with the baby"
"Oh her, yea hold on".
A minute later, Maggie came to the door looking exhausted, but the moment she saw it was Michonne her face lit up. She closed the door behind her and happily gave Michonne a hug.
Michonne held on to her tightly. "How are you doing?" She asked. Maggie kept on hugging Michonne, not answering. After a minute of silence Michonne could feel Maggie's shoulders shaking and she realized Maggie was crying. Michonne slowly pulled herself away to look at Maggie's face.
It was obvious she hadn't been sleeping well, her eyes were puffy partly due to her tears, but partly due to sleep exhaustion. She, like everyone else had lost weight, but Michonne was more concerned about her because she was breastfeeding a newborn and had to eat.
"Maggie, what's going on?" Michonne asked her. When Maggie didn't answer, Michonne took her hand and pulled her over to one of the benches in front of the house and they both sat.
"I'm just tired" she said. "I'm so tired. With the baby I'm up all night, but even when he's sleepin' I can't, 'cuz I'm livin' in a house with people I don't know or trust. You guys hate me and Glenn for what we've done..."
Michonne cut her off. "We don't hate you"
"Well I hate myself then, and then Glenn... He's like a different person. He doesn't tell me everything that goes on when he goes out, but I know he's had to do stuff that's changed him. He is different. I know he still loves me and Hershel, but... We don't talk anymore. When he gets home he just sleeps and then goes back out again. And I can't... I just can't handle it much longer Michonne. I can't live like this much longer."
Maggie finally took a breath. It seemed like her words all tumbled out of her mouth without her being able to stop them. She looked up at Michonne and Michonne was smiling at her.
"Did that feel good, to get it all out?" She asked.
"Yea... Yea it did. I haven't had anyone to talk to since we moved in here. Thank you Michonne." Maggie returned her smile.
"I have something else that might make you feel better" Michonne said, showing Maggie the wrapped up package she had.
"Is that?... No. Is that bacon?" She asked.
"Yup" Michonne said proudly. "Straight from the hilltop, to Negan's breakfast table, to your mouth." She said as she pushed the napkin into Maggie's hand.
Maggie quickly opened the napkin, smelling it, and then took a bite. "This is so good! How did u get this? Did he let you take this?"
"Let's just say I put his food to good use" Michonne said.
"You won't get in trouble for this will you?" Maggie asked, concerned.
"No. Don't worry." Michonne reassured her.
There was silence as Maggie finished her bacon. She then sighed and held Michonne's hand.
"How are you holding up? Y'know, livin' over there?"
"I'm ok, as long as Judy is ok, y'know?"
"It must be hard, livin' in that house. Are you still dreaming about Rick?" Maggie asked.
Michonne froze, she didn't tell anyone else about her dreams. Maggie saw the look on her face and smiled.
"You've said his name in your sleep once or twice... when we were sleepin' outside"
"Oh" Michonne said, a little embarrassed. "Yea, I am. I do. Almost every night. It... it's kind of like he's still here with me, if I can see him when I'm sleeping."
Maggie just nodded.
"How is... how are you with... Negan?" Maggie asked, a little awkwardly.
"I work for him, that's it" Michonne said, getting a little defensive.
"I thought... I mean, you've been living with him for months now... and you know how it is... with him."
Michonne looked down at the floor.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring something up... It's none of my business really. Sorry."
"No, it's ok" Michonne said softly "we haven't done anything. I work for him and I sleep in my room with Judy. That's it."
"Ok" Maggie said.
"So I should be getting back. I left Judy with Abraham, there's no telling what he's allowing her to do. He'd let her shoot an AK-47 if she said pretty please" Michonne joked, and Maggie laughed.
"Thank you for stopping by Michonne. It was so good to talk to family. I miss you guys, please don't be a stranger."
"I won't. I'll bring Judith by some time this week. Ok?"
"Ok" Maggie said, and they hugged again.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
That night, Michonne was sitting on the living room floor with Judy, teaching her to count on her fingers, when Negan came home with a woman. From the way he was walking, Michonne could tell he was drunk. She silently scooped up Judy and began carrying her upstairs when Negan called.
"Hey! Where you fucking going? You're supposed to make me dinner tonight."
"I will, after I put my daughter to bed" Michonne said.
"No, you're gonna do it now" Negan called, slurring his words.
Michonne continued up the stairs and headed for Judy's bedroom. She put Judy into the crib and began their nightly ritual.
"You had a daddy named..."
"Rick! Who loved me so much." Judy responded
"Michonne!" she heard her name being yelled from downstairs but she ignored it.
"You had a brother named..."
"Carl! Who loved me so much" Judy said
"And you have a mommy named..."
"Michonne! who loves me so much" Judy said
"Michonne get down here!" Negan yelled.
"My name is Judy and I am loved" Judy finished all by herself.
"Yes you are baby girl, now go to sleep" Michonne said, kissing Judy's head.
"Mommy?" Judith asked "Is Negan being bad?"
Michonne smiled a little. "Yes probably, but you know mommy won't let him hurt you".
Michonne turned and walked out the room, blowing Judy a kiss before she closed the door. She walked back down the stairs and Negan was waiting for her at the bottom.
"I told you to come back here" he said.
"I told you I would, but I had to put my daughter to bed" she responded.
He glared at her, and then Michonne noticed the woman who he had taken home tonight, it was the one that had called her a hoe earlier. Michonne gave her the side eye, and then sauntered into the kitchen.
"What do you want?" she yelled.
"Make us a sandwich" the woman called back.
Michonne rolled her eyes.
"What do you want Negan?" she emphasized.
"A fucking sandwich" he said, slurring heavily.
Michonne began making two sandwiches, as Negan and his "date" sat on her couch. They were discussing something, but then it suddenly went quiet.
Michonne finished making the sandwiches, and brought the two plates into the living room when she noticed Negan and the woman on the couch making out. On her couch. The couch where she and Rick had made out, and realized their love for each other. Although it wasn't the most obvious time for her to have an emotional reaction, something inside of her broke, seeing that scene. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and she slammed the plates on the end table and turned to make a quick get away up the steps before they noticed she was crying.
Suddenly she felt fingers closing around her wrist. Negan had grabbed her. "Don't touch me!" she yelled, pulling away from him, but he wouldn't let go. The other woman who was still kissing Negan, finally realized he wasn't kissing her back and unlocked her lips from his face. "Get off of me!" Michonne screamed. Negan held Michonne's wrist with one hand, pulling her towards him and making her almost fall into his lap. He reached around her with the other hand and grabbed her butt. Michonne was enraged, and quickly punched him in the nose, making him swiftly let go. She glanced a stream of blood pouring from his nose before she turned and scrambled upstairs to Judy's room, locking the door and grabbing her knife.
Michonne tried to be as quiet as possible, as Judy was still fast asleep. She could hear the woman downstairs asking Negan if he was ok, and Negan moaning in response. "You can't let her get away with that" the woman said "She punched you! You need to punish her." The woman continued to egg Negan on until Michonne could hear unsteady footsteps coming up the stairs. She looked around the room for something she could prop up against the door to keep it closed, but there was nothing besides Judith's crib. She crouched down and clutched her knife, prepared to stab anyone that got through the locked door.
Suddenly there was banging at her door, so loud it woke Judith up. "Open the door" Negan called, slurring his words so that it sounded like one word. Michonne didn't answer.
"Mommy?" Judith asked, terrified. "It's ok baby" Michonne whispered, "Shhh". Judith sat down in her crib, clutching her blanket.
The banging continued. "Open the fucking door Michonne!" Negan slurred. Michonne could hear the woman coming up the steps as well. "Knock her door down Negan, she broke your nose!" the woman instigated. Michonne was furious that the woman was not only instigating, but she had the nerve to come upstairs in her house. She was more angry at the woman than she was Negan.
I will kill him and that bitch Michonne thought.
Michonne glanced at Judith and she could see tears coming down her face. The girl was terrified. Michonne picked Judith up out of her crib and held her in one arm, with the other arm holding the knife. Judith buried her face in Michonne's neck.
"It'll be ok baby, mommy won't let anyone hurt you" she said, smoothing down Judith's hair.
Suddenly the knocking on the door turned into ramming. Negan was using something to ram the door down. Michonne quickly placed Judith in the closet. "Stay here and don't come out until mommy gets you ok?" Michonne said to her. Judith nodded, crouching down and hiding under some of Michonne's shirts.
"Negan, stop banging on the door" Michonne said, trying to reason with him. "We had a deal, you said you wouldn't touch me and you went against that deal. I said I would kill you but I didn't. You were in the wrong not me. You're drunk. Go sleep it off and we'll talk in the morning."
"No. Come out." he said, sounding like an indignant child.
"I'm not coming out of here until you're sober" Michonne said.
She heard him say "fine" and then she heard footsteps walking away.
She let out a sigh of relief and was about to tell Judy she could come out of the closet, when she heard someone running at her door, and a crack as they burst through