I Die A Little Each Day Chapter 9, a glee fanfic

Sorry about the delay, I'm finding stories more difficult to write since the death of my friend but I won't give up on any of my stories.

Chapter 9

Quinn was looking for Noah, again; she'd been looking for him every day to go over the Regionals set list but always failed to find him alone, it was like he was attached to Rachel-freaking-Berry's hip, she didn't understand how the guys in Glee club seemed to fall over themselves for Rachel, first Finn, then Jesse, Noah had always liked Rachel even though he denied it until now, she'd kissed Blaine at her party and gone out on a date with him the following weekend, Mike and Matt always said that they liked her and that nobody deserved to be treated the way she was, Artie was in her bandwagon and she was even getting close to Sam. 'How can one girl have so many guys wrapped round her finger and I can't even hold onto one of them?' She fumed as she stalked the corridors.

Truth of the matter was; while Finn was her dream guy and absolutely worshipped the ground she walked on as did all of her ex-boyfriends and love interests, Quinn wasn't into sharing, yes, she slept with Noah and Noah had slept with the majority of the school including Santana a fair few times, and Sam had also dated Santana, she didn't like the fact that Finn had not only dated Santana and slept with her but he also dated Rachel and still had feelings for her. If there was one thing Quinn hated in life more than the fact that she got pregnant last year, it was coming second to Rachel Berry. 'It's insane how one girl can make that guy go loopy.' She stopped for a moment. 'If I want to find Puckerman but he's with Berry then I have to think like Berry. Auditorium.' She turned on her heel and went the other way.

When she arrived at the double doors that revealed Rachel Berry's sanctuary, she pushed through them dramatically and paused in the doorway, basking in the fact that the room's attention was on her and no one else.

"Puck, I want to talk to you." She demanded and stepped further inside.

"Yeah well I'm kind of busy Fabray," Noah responded. "but you're right on time. Stop lurking in doorways though, it's creepy." He turned back to Rachel's attention, the couple weren't alone though; Mike, Tina, Sam, Blaine and Artie were also present.

"What's going on here?" Kurt's voice came from behind Quinn. "Blaine? What are you doing in here?"

"Rehearsing for Regionals, glad you got the text we sent you." Blaine stood up.

"What text?" Quinn turned to face Kurt.

"The emergency meeting we were all summoned to." He explained. "Where's your phone?"

"Coach Sylvester confiscated it."

"Can she even do that?" Kurt asked horrified.

"It's Sue Sylvester, she does whatever she wants and no one questions her about it." Santana arrived, closely followed by Brittany, Finn, and Mercedes.

"White boy, what are you doing with crazy White girl?" She asked Blaine.

"Sitting next to her Mercedes, you know, you should really start calling people by the names their parents gave them. It's really degrading when you refer to people as awful nicknames and classed as bullying, something I think shouldn't be stood for." Blaine glared. "As a past bully victim myself I especially can't stand it and won't tolerate it." He looked pointedly at Kurt.

"Can we just get on with this please?" Noah stood up.

"How can we rehearse the set list? We only have the group song; we need a solo or a duet or both to go with it." Finn was the first to approach the stage.

"That's why we asked you to come here so you can listen to a couple of suggestions." Tina said patiently. "We're just waiting for Mr Schue and then we can start."

It wasn't long before the teacher arrived, along with Coach Sylvester, Coach Beiste and Ms Pillsbury, he wasn't happy about the Cheerio coach accompanying him. He took a seat at the directors desk and looked at the stage where his club was waiting.

"Ok guys, let's hear your suggestions and get rehearsing." He clapped his hands.

"Why is Berry here?" Quinn asked. "She's not part of the Glee club anymore so she really has no say in what we do or decide to do. I bet she's in cahoots with Goolsby."

"Shut up Quinn, she's here because we asked her to come." Sam snapped.

"Guys stop it." Mr Schue yelled, his voice rang through the auditorium. "We can't have anymore fighting, Regionals is really soon and if Rachel can help us then we'll take it."

"We don't need Rachel," Kurt scoffed. "we already have a group song and I'm sure it won't take long for us to come up with a duet." He looked towards Blaine, hinting his boyfriend to agree with him.

"Actually I thought Tina could sing a solo." Blaine smiled at the Asian girl. "I just loved her performance for Rachel a few weeks ago and I think she'd be perfect."

"I already have a song, well Rachel's letting me borrow one of hers." Tina smiled back.

"It's one we've been working on together." Rachel corrected.

"She's not in the club, can we use her stuff even though she's not part of the New Directions?" Santana asked curiously though still made it sound malicious.

"At this point I don't think you have a choice." Ms Pillsbury told them. "Rachel may not be in the club presently but she will always be part of the New Directions."

"It's not cheating." Finn agreed. "She's helping us to win Regionals." He looked to Rachel with his dopey smile. "Wouldn't you rather sing the solo yourself though? I mean, you always want to be out front, I bet you'd feel great if you were the one who won us Regionals and sending us to New York."

"I've already written the song in Tina's key and it sounds perfect when she sings it." Rachel told him cooly. "Even if you all win Regionals I have no plans on coming back to the New Directions, why would I? You're all awful to me and now I'm finally free of your poison, because of you I hurt the people I love the most in ways that none of you can imagine and I can only pray that they can forgive me for my selfish actions." Noah gripped her hand, as did Tina, she didn't want to hide anymore but the Glee club couldn't know yet, she wasn't ready for them to know. "You were never supportive of my ideas, you hated that I was always right and you despised that I was more talented than all of you put together." She had already spoken to Noah and the others; this speech was purely for show. 'Maybe I can still be on Broadway; my acting is phenomenal' "I thought after Regionals last year everything would be different but I couldn't have been more wrong and I'm tired of feeling like the outsider of the group. I wish you all the best for Regionals but I refuse to be part of this group again." She stood up, gathered her things and left the auditorium, Coach Beiste and Ms Pillsbury followed.

"You know William," Coach Sylvester stood. "the only reason I convinced Figgins to give your Glee club another year was because I saw potential of change within it. Maybe I was wrong in trying to help you, but just so you know, that girl was the heart and soul of this club and you've all nearly destroyed her by treating her like garbage. Figgins' threat will stand and I'll make sure of it; you lose Regionals and there will be no more second chances and the funding will stop, and by the sounds of it, you've all run out of chances with Rachel." She left the auditorium.

Mr Schue sighed, clearly Sue, Emma and Shannon were in the know about Rachel, as was Noah, Mike, Sam, Tina, Artie and now Blaine. "Ok guys, let's hear this solo."

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"You did good Pumpkin." Shannon consoled as Rachel cried in Emma's office. "You felt elated and strong when you made your speech right?" Rachel nodded, not daring to open her mouth to talk. "That's what standing up for yourself should feel like."

"What did it feel like before?" Emma asked.

"Like I shouldn't have said what I was thinking or feeling." Rachel told her after a moment's thought. "Like I was wrong in trying to defend myself and that I should just be grateful they spend time with me in the choir room." She sniffed. "What if they win Regionals? They'll throw it in my face that they can win without me and I'll feel like I did a month ago."

"They won't win Regionals, not without your powerful and beautiful voice." Sue came in. "Besides, even if they do where are they going to get the funding from?" She asked. "Certainly not Figgins or me, or you and your fathers for that matter, William doesn't have the salary to support himself and the Glee club at the same time and with two failed Regional wins no one outside of the school will want to endorse them."

"Sue's right, and that's not something I've said often." Emma smiled. "Vocal Adrenaline are four time National champions and after their first win parents of the members and non-members were throwing money at the team."

Rachel's heart clenched slightly at the mention of her mother's old team, she hadn't heard from Shelby since Regionals last year when Quinn went into labour and Shelby adopted Beth rather than get to know her own daughter and left without a word. 'I can't let that bother me anymore, I have three wonderful moms now, I don't need Shelby.'

"Knowing Will he's going to try and persuade Figgins to give him another year." Shannon said.

"I've already told him that I won't allow that, if he wanted another year he should've been a better teacher." Sue stood firm.

"I want to tell them." Rachel said suddenly. "I want them to know what they did to me, what they made me do. I'm just not sure how." She confessed. "Maybe if I tell them, or at least Mr Schue, it'll change things, make them better."

"But what if it doesn't Rachel?" Emma asked carefully. "If you tell the club and it has the opposite of your desired effect what's going to happen then?"

"I'll have my boyfriend, my friends, my dads and my three moms to help me get through it, I should never have tried to take my life, I should've talked to you or to my dads but I thought you'd all get sick and tired of listening to me whine, so I did the only thing I thought I should do."

"Come here honey." Sue took her into her arms. "You could never make us get sick and tired of listening to you, maybe before when I was a total Nazi I would've told you to shut up, grow up and deal with life's issues that'll be thrown at you every single day for the rest of your life, but that was because I thought you didn't care what the others said, after Porcelain left I thought William would try to help you and when I saw that he didn't I got angry at his lack of support to another student in need."

"We're here for you anytime Rachel." Shannon added with a gentle smile.

"Anything you need or want to talk about and you feel that you can't talk to your dads about it, we're right here. My door will always be open for you." Emma took her hand. "Besides, I don't think Puck or the others will let you feel that way again."

"And you're showing Blaine exactly the kind of person he's dating." Sue added. "Hummel's always been two-faced when it comes to getting what he wants, look what he did to you last year when he was panting after his step-brother; he slapped on too much makeup because he was threatened and conspired with Q to make Hudson less attracted to you."

"And what he said after Vocal Adrenaline egged you; that the New Directions were the only ones allowed to humiliate you." Emma reminded her.

"I feel bad about that," Rachel looked between them. "Blaine shouldn't have to find out how Kurt can be this way, Kurt should've been honest with him from the start, Karofsky bullying him should've opened his eyes that he's not the only victim of bullying. But I guess with me it's natural to want to put me in my place." She finished with a sigh. 'I wonder how the rehearsal's going.'

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"No. No. No. NO!" Kurt shrieked. "We are not doing that solo, we'll lose for sure if we do."

"Kurt, that song's awesome; Rachel's really saved us with it." Finn tried to reason, though he was still embarrassed that Rachel had shot him down so easily and quickly. 'She used to fall over her feet trying to impress me.'

"But it's Rachel." Kurt scrunched his nose in disgust. "How do we know that she's not going to come back the morning of Regionals and demand to have that song because she's a limelight hog?"

"Well for one; she's not in the club and has no desire to return." Noah rolled his eyes. "Secondly; she doesn't have a costume, and lastly, she's written the song in Tina's key, there would be no way she could change it on short notice."

"I say we have a vote." Mike smiled knowingly; it was obvious that the only people who had a problem with the song were Kurt and Mercedes. "Those who want to use the song raise your hands."

Mike, Sam, Artie, Tina, Noah, Blaine, Finn, Brittany and Mr Schue raised their hands instantly, Santana and Quinn reluctantly raised theirs after a few seconds.

"Sorry Kurt, majority rules." Blaine told him.

"I can't believe this." Kurt began to pace. "What has gotten into you lately? All of a sudden you're on the Rachel Berry bandwagon and I want to know why, as your boyfriend I deserve an answer."

"But you're not my boyfriend; we never actually made anything official so we're not in a relationship and to be honest, seeing this side of you makes me reconsider everything I knew about you." Blaine tried to tell him gently. "I really like you Kurt, the moment I met you I was so comfortable with you and happy that you were coming into my life, you always said that at McKinley everyone was equal in the Glee club, you said Rachel could be a little over the top but that she can calm down, so far all I'm seeing is one group of friends and Rachel on her own. Well obviously she's not on her own now." He added pointing to Mike, Artie, Sam, Tina and Noah.

"Whatever she's told you is lies." Mercedes jumped to Kurt's defence. "My boy went through Hell with Karofsky, and Rachel was always making such a big deal over everything even if she had nothing to do with it. She broke up Quinn and Finn last year because she wanted him that badly."

"Quinn cheated on Finn with me, got pregnant and lied to everyone, including Finn, about the paternity of the baby, Rachel only did what Quinn should've done from the moment I left her house, or even better; Quinn shouldn't have cheated on Finn." Noah argued.

"Seems to be a pattern with you Quinn." Sam added nastily.

"She shouldn't have been sniffing round my boyfriend like the pathetic tranny she is." Quinn snapped. "I would have never allowed Puck to touch me if Finn had just quit the Glee club when I asked him to and if RuPaul had kept her manish hands off of him."

"So what was she doing when we were dating?" Sam asked. "Cause she wasn't sniffing round me, she was happy with Finn until Santana told her about sleeping with him last year, she was hurt and angry that everyone, including myself and probably Blaine knowing Kurt's gossip habits, seemed to know about the lie, she was humiliated, so she made out with Puck and did the right thing afterwards; she told Finn."

Quinn couldn't answer him, not without making Finn angry because she could easily say that Finn came onto her but everyone knew that wasn't true. She grit her teeth and prayed Mr Schue would intervene and change the subject, when he didn't she began to get desperate.

"I think we're all waiting for an answer Quinn." Finn folded his arms.

"See? We're arguing about Rachel even though she's not here." Mercedes saved Quinn. "She calls us poison? I don't think so, she's the one who's poisoning us; she's tearing this club apart and it's not right."

"It's not like any of us were nice to her." Brittany argued speaking for the first time. "She was always nice to us and we were awful to her, are awful to her. She didn't deserve the egging we gave her two months ago and she doesn't deserve us talking about her horribly like we've been doing for years." She turned to Santana. "You always told me that Rachel didn't care what people said to her or thought about her, but clearly she does. I'm over this bullying thing and I think it's disgusting that you get pleasure from making someone's life miserable. I refuse to be with someone who focuses on bullying someone else because they're jealous of them."

Everyone was in shock; no one had ever heard Brittany say anything remotely close to intelligent, occasionally she had moments when she said things that made sense but her speech about Rachel was mind blowing and impressive.

"And exactly what do any of us has to be jealous about?" Santana finally found her voice. "It's Rachel-Manhands-RuPaul-Hobbit-Tranny-Treasure Trail-Berry, there's nothing she has that I want for myself, and I don't think anyone else wants either."

"Except that she does;" Artie spoke. "she knows exactly what she wants for her life and how she's going to get it, she works harder than anyone in here and is never appreciated." He looked to Mr Schue. "You're always telling us that we should strive to achieve our dreams, why is Rachel's Broadway dream so impossible? What makes that dream any different to anyone else's in this room? Mercedes has dreams of stardom in Hollywood, Kurt has dreams similar if not identical to Rachel's. You encourage them but not her? Not much of a teacher Mr Schue, it's a wonder you're still teaching here."

"Artie that's completely rude and inappropriate." Mr Schue flushed, he stood up and straightened his sweater vest. "I will not be spoken to like that, if you have any issues with my teaching then I would appreciate it if you came to me privately, but to embarrass me publically in front of your friends will not be tolerated. As of today you're in detention." He left the auditorium.

"Wheels has balls." Noah laughed and high-fived Artie who didn't seem to care that he landed himself into trouble.

"Artie, you really shouldn't have said that to Mr Schue." Finn told him.

"Why not?" The boy challenged. "The only reason Mr Schue had a problem with it is because he knows that it's the truth."

"And to be honest he had it coming;" Tina added. "Mr Schue's been belittling and embarrassing Rachel in front of us for two years, that in itself is a form of bullying and shouldn't be tolerated, as a teacher he should know that."

"Tina can handle the solo no problem, the real work needs to come from the group number so let's get started." Mike suggested and pressed play on the CD player.

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Rachel was practicing her somersaults when Mr Schue found her in the gym, he had a mix of emotions running through him; grateful that she'd helped them with the solo, disappointed that she wouldn't be coming back after they won, angry that his club was falling apart because the kids were arguing about her and embarrassed that Artie had called him out on his treatment of Rachel compared to the others.

"I didn't know you liked gymnastics." He announced his presence calmly.

She turned and pulled at her sleeves nervously. "It always fascinated me as a child." She answered honestly. "I joined Coach Beiste's team a few weeks ago. I'm still learning a few things but I like the beam and parallel bars."

"Rachel, we need to talk." Mr Schue sat on one of the benches, patting the space next to him for Rachel to sit down. "Now I've been very patient with what's been going on since you left the Glee club but now I'm tired of your behaviour, I think it's great that you helped Tina with the solo for Regionals and I thank you for it too, but you're tearing the team apart. Kurt and Blaine's relationship is suffering because you seem to be close to Blaine these days, Brittany all but broke up with Santana because she doesn't like the fact that you felt and still feel that you're being bullied, and as for Artie, he's in a world of trouble with me because he embarrassed me about my teaching ethics and treatment of you and the others. It's got to stop, you're coming to Regionals with us in three days, you will perform in the group song and when we win you will apologise publically to each and every one of us."

Rachel remained standing. "First of all; Kurt shouldn't have hidden his true self from Blaine, I hate that Blaine has to find out who Kurt really is like this, he shouldn't have had to but they were never in a relationship, not a real one. Secondly; Brittany has spent her life following the crowd and being shunned because she has a unique way of looking at things, her standing up to Santana, who didn't want Brittany to be with Artie because she was jealous that Brittany could actually be happy without her and won't come out in public about her sexuality out of fear for her popularity, was probably the best thing Brittany could do for herself. And finally; I'm sorry that Artie embarrassed you in front of the others but you have to wonder, would you have been truly bothered by his words if they were false? The only reason you punished him is because you know what he said has truth in it and you don't like that." Rachel found that Shannon was right; standing up for herself felt really good. "I will be coming to Regionals, but I will be in the audience cheering for my boyfriend and my friends, my real friends and if you win then I will be gracious and congratulate you, but I won't be coming back to the club and I won't be helping you with Nationals. I'm done with the New Directions, I have been brought nothing but strife and misery and I refuse to go through that again." Her eyes were wet with tears. "It's not my fault, I didn't ask for this." She mumbled and collapsed onto the floor, she wrapped her arms around her legs and began to rock herself as thought trying to comfort herself.

Mr Schue began to lose his anger and frustration, concern and worry crept its way through his veins, he'd seen Rachel break down in Emma's office and he thought he'd heard a wobble in her voice when she made her speech to Finn, but he hadn't seen this; she looked truly broken, something was wrong, something far more serious than a falling out with the group.

"Rachel?" He came off the bench and knelt in front of her. "Rachel, what's going on?"

"You let me down." She whispered. "You're my teacher, you're supposed to support and defend me against the bullying like you did with Kurt, why am I so different that you didn't help me? Everyone was awful to me, I have journals filled with the things they've said and done, things that you have said and done." She looked up at him, her eyes red. "I thought that you were on my side too, not just Finn's or anyone else's, but I guess I was so wrong and I'm sorry that you felt that I wasn't grateful, that I was selfish."

"I don't understand." Mr Schue said worriedly.

"I'm not made of stone Mr Schuester, each awful word and action I've received from the members of the Glee club, from the students in this school and from you have all affected me to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and saw only one way out. I wanted to die, I thought I'd succeeded but Shannon and Sue found me, I was in a coma for a week before I woke up, sometimes I still feel that if I had just cut a little deeper or taken a few more pills then I wouldn't be here. I hurt my fathers, Shannon, Emma, Sue and my friends because I couldn't take it anymore." She held her wrists.

'Cut? Pills?' "Rachel, did you try to kill yourself?" He asked horrified. Rachel pulled up her sleeves revealing the scars. "Oh my God." He wasn't prepared for this, but then, who would be? It explained a lot about Rachel's recent behaviour and he felt nothing but shame as he stared at the marks on her wrists knowing that he'd helped her to put them there. "Rachel, I am so-"

"Save it, I don't want your apologies, the only reason you're apologising is because you feel guilty that you didn't do your job and that you found out." She snapped getting to her feet angrily. "I don't care for apologies from people, half the time they don't mean it and the rest of the time the apologies are always too late." She stormed out of the gym.

'Looks like you've really done it this time Schuester.' Mr Schue told himself and sighed, he got to his feet and also left the gym.

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The day for Regionals arrived, since Rachel revealed her scars to Mr Schue no matter how hard he tried to talk to her, to try and explain, she always found a way to get away, Emma seemed to ignore him too, but he expected that; he always prided himself in being there for the kids no matter who they were or what they were going through and he'd let one student down that needed him more than the others.

FLASHBACK

Mr Schue entered Emma's office quietly. "Rachel told me." He announced. "About the suicide attempt."

"I see." Emma put her pencil down and pulled out her voice recorder. "Have a seat."

Mr Schue sat in front of her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't my place, if Rachel wanted you to know then that was her choice." Emma told him. "What brought on her confession?"

"I went to the gym where she was practicing her somersaults, I had no idea she was so good at gymnastics." He said. "I was angry; Artie had just humiliated me in front of the others by saying how I treated Rachel's dream with contempt while I encouraged other dreams and he was right, Kurt's dream is almost identical to Rachel's and I keep telling him to go for it but with Rachel I kept telling her that she had to be realistic." Emma didn't interrupt him. "I told her that she was tearing the club apart, I mentioned how Kurt's getting hurt because Blaine would rather hang out with Rachel than him, how Santana and Brittany practically broke up because Brittany defended Rachel and how humiliated I was the Artie had spoken to me the way he did, I told her that she would be going to Regionals as part of the club, she would perform in the group song and when we won she would apologise to each of us for her behaviour."

"And?" Emma hid her anger.

"She started going on about how it wasn't her fault that the kids were turning on themselves and how Artie's words had truth in them, then she got so upset that she started sobbing and fell to the floor, Emma she started rocking as though she was crazy."

"What did you do?"

"I got worried, I got off the bench, knelt in front of her and asked her what was wrong, that's when she started talking about how I let her down and how she's not made of stone. How there are journals filled with the insults and actions that hurt her and then she told me; she said she wanted to die, she told me that if she'd cut a little deeper or taken a few more pills then she wouldn't be here, finally she showed me her scars." He told her. "I started to apologise and she completely did an emotional 180 and snapped at me saying she didn't want my apology, she didn't want any apologies and then she stormed off."

"Will, to understand Rachel's emotional state you have to understand why she tried to kill herself." Emma told him. "It wasn't just the kids in the Glee club that hurt her Will, you did too; by joining in and not putting a stop to the bullying and harassment like you were supposed to. Kurt went through bullying with Karofsky and you helped him, so why is Rachel different?"

"She always seemed to ignore it; the insults just seemed to slide off of her." Mr Schue tried to justify. "She didn't come to me the way Kurt did."

"Why would she when you were joining in and adding your own comments. She doesn't need to apologise to anyone in that club, it's the other way round, Puck, Tina, Artie, Sam and Mike were there when she woke up from her coma, they've apologised and made amends, she's forgiven them but she's still fragile; one bad day could tip her over again and I'm worried that if it happens, we won't be able to get to her on time and we will lose her for good, and do you know who will be to blame?" She asked. "You Will, because you should've stepped in and stopped the bullying from the beginning." Emma pressed stop on her voice recorder. "This conversation is over Will, I suggest you try to make amends with Rachel, you may think that everyone is the heart of the Glee club depending on what they did that day but Rachel will always be the heart of the team, the one that brings everyone together."

END FLASHBACK

Mr Schue was left with a lot to think about from that conversation, and he did thoroughly think and try to understand where it all went wrong, but he couldn't, it was like it had all gone wrong from the moment he put the original signup sheet for the New Directions on the notice board last year, or the moment he blackmailed Finn into joining the Glee club and thereby, opening the choir room doors to Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Mike, Noah and Matt.

'Though, it hasn't been all bad; the kids have really come along in their friendships, it just seems to be Rachel that's on the outside of the circles.' He told himself. He looked across the green room to Noah who was talking happily to Tina, he decided that he'd make it known to the small group that he knew what he'd helped to do. "Puck, I'd like a word please." He gestured to the boy and left the room, Noah closely followed.

"Rachel already told me that she told you." Noah didn't let the teacher begin first, it was his experience that if someone else started a conversation, they were in control. "Now, I'm not happy that she told you when she was alone, or that you blame her for the way this club's treating her, but if she told you then she was obviously ready to tell you so the ball's in your court; you can either help her to recover fully, or you can pay the consequences for being a negligent teacher and allowing her to suffer." Still Mr Schue wasn't given a chance to speak. "I know that I haven't been perfect in the past towards Rachel, but she understands why and I've apologised and made amends, same with Artie, Tina, Mike, Sam and now Blaine, though he didn't really do anything wrong."

"Why did you pick on her?" Mr Schue asked curiously.

"In case you didn't notice, other than Fabray and Lopez, I was the only one to really pick on her in the past, it was my way of telling the other losers in McKinley that Rachel was mine and no one could mess with her. Karofsky crossed the line a couple of times but he was taken care of." Noah answered. "Rachel knew why, no she's my girl and still no one's allowed to mess with her, if Sue and Shannon hadn't got to Ben Israel before me he would've been porta-potty food for what he tried to do to her a few weeks ago."

"What did he try to do?" Mr Schue asked worriedly.

"He tried to blackmail sexual favours out of Rachel in return for not telling the whole school about her suicide attempt. Sue and Shannon confiscated every audio and visual gadget he owns and the police were involved; they issued photos to every tech shop in Ohio so that he can't buy cameras or recorders ever again, and his parents have moved the family computer to the living room so he's constantly supervised."

"Sue helped do that? Sue Sylvester?"

"Yeah, at first I thought it was weird but she's really cool, her, Shannon and Emma are like moms to Rach, something she needs when her dads aren't around. Sue's actually Rachel's emergency contact should anything else happen while Hiram and Leroy are away."

Mr Schue blinked; he'd never known Sue to be like that with any student, there was the moments when she was acting Principal and helped Kurt during his bullying, but other than that she hated the Glee club; she couldn't wait to see it destroyed, so why was she helping Rachel and being so supportive?

"We're on soon Mr Schue." Finn poked his head out the door, he frowned when he saw Noah. "What's going on Puck?"

"Nothing you should be concerned with Hudson, not yet anyway."

"Right whatever, where's Rachel?"

"In the audience with her dads where else would she be?" Noah snapped.

"I just thought she'd be in the green room with us, oh well I'll see her later."

"You stay away from my girlfriend Hudson, you've already split Evans and Fabray up."

"You should talk, you split me and Quinn up and then me and Rachel."

"You lied to Rachel about sleeping with Lopez, as for the Quinn thing I've already apologised but it's not like you were innocent either; you were chasing Rachel round like a lost puppy."

"Guys enough, we can't go on stage if we're all fighting." Mr Schue stepped in.

"He's right Noah, you need to stay focused." Rachel surprised them all, she was standing behind Mr Schue. "I just came to wish you all luck."

"Ok, cool, well come on in, we're just doing the group circle thing and then we're on." Finn beamed holding out his hand.

Rachel stared at it but didn't take it, instead she snuggled herself deep into Noah's arms and allowed herself to be guided past a dejected Finn and into the green room.

"Rachel you made it." Blaine greeted happily.

"Hurry up and get your costume on Berry, we're on in a few minutes and you still need to learn the-"

"I'm not joining you on stage." Rachel interrupted Santana. "I just came here to say break a leg."

"But Mr Schue said-"

"Mr Schue was wrong; I won't be joining the team on stage and I won't be coming back to the club whatever the outcome of today." She cut across Mercedes.

"What did we ever do to you to make you want to abandon us like this?" Quinn snapped.

"Shut up Quinn." Sam glared at his ex-girlfriend.

"Don't talk to her like that." Finn glared back.

"Enough." Rachel yelled. "Stop it all of you. In answer to your question Quinn, there are far too many things that you have done to me that have pushed my decision and I will share them with you one day but not now, right now you have a competition to take part in." She turned to Tina. "I know you can do this song perfectly, no matter what those judges think, I know you'll be amazing." She smiled and hugged her friend, her sleeves slid up slightly revealing half an inch of her scars before Mike, Sam, Noah, Artie and Blaine joined in the hug hiding the scars from view.

However the scars had been seen by Brittany who frowned trying to think if Rachel had always had them or if they were recent, she couldn't ask about them though; the warning light for the New Directions to go on stage was flashing above them and the hug was terminated, the club put their hands into the centre of the circle and cheered before leaving the room, Rachel and Mr Schue followed closely.

"Why don't you come stand with me in the wings?" Mr Schue was hoping that they could talk.

"I should get back to my dads." Rachel tried to reject him.

"Rachel, we need to talk." Mr Schue told her earnestly. "You can't just tell me that you tried to kill yourself, blame me for it and then walk away and ignore me for days."

"I didn't blame just you; you were just part of the problem, everyone in Glee club had their roles to play not just you." Rachel argued.

"You told me that I let you down."

"Because you did; you had countless opportunities to put a stop to the bullying from day one and you didn't, I've told you; everything said and done to me I've written in journals and told Emma about, you helped Kurt but why not me?" Rachel felt like she was repeating herself to Mr Schue, but then maybe he just wasn't getting the idea that he was also to blame. "I'm sorry Mr Schue but you hurt me just as much as the others did and yet you seem to think that you didn't."

"No Rachel, I know I hurt you, I know I should've stopped the others, stopped myself, I don't know why I didn't, I have no reason or excuse for my behaviour and I know that you don't want to hear it but I'm so very and truly sorry." Mr Schue's eyes were swimming with sincerity.

"I don't know if I can Mr Schue, I can try but it's not going to happen overnight." She told him honestly.

"I can live with that, thank you Rachel." Mr Schue took her hands in his. "Thank you for helping with the set list today; we were really stuck with the solo."

"The lyrics in the song reflect on what I've done over the last few months." She replied and gently pulled her hands away. "I should get back to my fathers." She stepped away from him and turned, heading back to her seat.

On the stage, Tina was looking for Rachel, just as the music began she found her friend and smiled, Rachel was right; she could sing this song perfectly, she could convey Rachel's emotions and her own when the song was written.

What have I done?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

Can I start again, with my faith shaken?
Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!
Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care

Mr Schue, Emma, Sue, Shannon and Rachel's fathers had tears in their eyes, Tina had tears running down her cheeks but she was smiling, Brittany also had tears as she understood the significance of the song and why Rachel wrote it, Noah and the boys struggled to keep their emotions at bay but they had more success than the others, though even Kurt couldn't hold back his tears. With a standing ovation, Tina moved to her position for the group song and the rest of the club came onto the stage, the music started up again.

(Santana, Finn, All)

Yeah, you may think that I'm a zero
But, hey, everyone you wanna be
Probably started off like me
You may say that I'm a freakshow (I don't care)
But, hey, give me just a little time
I bet you're gonna change your mind

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way
It ain't so hard to take, that's right
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name
And I'll just look away, that's right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

Push me up against the locker
And hey, all I do is shake it off
I'll get you back when I'm your boss
I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters
'Cause hey, I could be a superstar
I'll see you when you wash my car

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way
It ain't so hard to take, that's right
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name
And I'll just look away, that's right

Hey, you, over there
Keep the L up-up in the air
Hey, you, over there
Keep the L up, 'cause I don't care
You can throw your sticks, and you can throw your stones
Like a rocket, just watch me go
Yeah, l-o-s-e-r
I can only be who I are

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

Rachel was stood up cheering and waving the red foam finger that had been placed underneath her seat, she screamed with happiness as the Glee club finished and wasn't surprised by the second standing ovation they'd received, they'd won Regionals, there was no doubt in her mind. She looked to her dads, Sue, Emma and Shannon, they nodded and she hurried out of the aisle towards the backstage area where she quickly slipped into the Green room and was immediately embraced by Brittany.

"I am so sorry." She whispered. "I saw the scars and understood the song, I am so, very sorry that I had any part in them and that I wasn't trying to stop myself or the others." She pulled away, her eyes wet with tears and her face full of sadness and regret. "I never thought that our words could affect you so much, it always seemed to bounce off of you but I can clearly see that you were only pretending. I can't believe we pushed you to this."

"It's ok Brittany, you were barely involved, yes you could have stopped the others but it wasn't your job to do that, it was Mr Schue's and he didn't." Rachel took her hands and smiled. "I've forgiven Noah, Artie, Sam, Mike and Tina, I can certainly forgive you too."

"Who found you?" Brittany asked. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you everything you want to know but right now it's not the time or the place." Rachel promised.

"Britt? What are you doing?" Santana came over angrily. "Let go of my girl Berry, I don't want you to contaminate her with your Tranny powers." She glared and slapped Rachel's hand away from Brittany.

Brittany glared and slapped Santana, to the amazement of everyone in the room and herself. "I am not your girl Santana, I never was and I never will be. I don't give my heart to someone who won't come out in the open and tell the world that she's gay and I certainly don't want to be with someone who treats others like crap. Rachel doesn't have Tranny powers," she added air quotes. "she never had them, she's a beautiful, sexy girl, always has been, you and Quinn are less than that; you had your boob job and Quinn had her nose job, Rachel doesn't need any of that, she's perfect. You and Quinn are both fake and I'm done with you, you're mean to everyone, including me and I won't put up with it anymore, this Unholy Trinity is over, has been for a long time because you two are selfish bitches who only care about themselves and how to make themselves better than everyone else when really, you're just pathetic."

"Are you going to let her talk to Santana like that?" Quinn asked Mr Schue.

Mr Schue didn't answer, it was obvious that Brittany now knew about the suicide attempt and was angry at two of the main culprits, he wasn't surprised at her outburst this time, last time he thought it had been a one off but now that Brittany knew the truth about Rachel he found himself agreeing with every word.

"Mr Schue." Quinn poked him.

"I think he agrees with her Fabray, we all do." Noah took Rachel into his arms and silently thanked Brittany before welcoming her into the little group of friends that had been formed.

"That's crap, Mr Schue is one of the greatest teachers in McKinley, he's the one who tried to put a stop to Kurt's bullying, he's not allowed to agree with anything Brittany said." Finn cried.

"If he's such a great teacher then why did he let Rachel go through hell?" Tina asked him angrily, her tears falling freshly. "He should've stopped the bullying like he did with Kurt but he didn't, he even joined in, that's not what I call being a great teacher."

"Tina." Kurt said in shock.

"Well it's true." Sam added.

"Can we please stop fighting?" Rachel cried. "You all just performed amazingly and now you're fighting."

"We're only fighting because of you." Mercedes glared. "You came in here and caused the fighting just like you cause all of the problems in this club, and you're not even part of it."

"No, Santana caused this fight because she was a bitch to Rachel." Brittany glared back. "You're just as bad Mercedes, you too Kurt; you think you had it bad with Karofsky? Think again, what you went through is nothing compared to what Rachel went through with us, at least Karofsky admitted that he was a bully, we're supposed to be Rachel's friends, what kind of friends treat another friend like trash?"

"And let's not forget our regular Ice Queen." Sam looked at Quinn. "You've been awful to Rachel from day one, you're just as much to blame if not more."

"STOP IT!" Rachel shrieked. "I don't want to hear another argument today, please just stop. I only came to tell you all that I was blown away by your performances, Brittany and I were having a conversation and Santana got jealous, which she had no right to be seeing as she's hiding her sexuality when everyone knows that she prefers girls to guys and that's ok." She looked round the room. "You want to know something? You're all to blame, God it's amazing how long this club has lasted, it's amazing how many second chances you've all been given when you don't deserve them but those chances have run out, this is the last shot because if you don't make it through today the club is finished."

"She's right; we have run out of chances and we have no one to blame but ourselves." Mr Schue wasn't sure but he thought that Rachel was talking about more than just the club. "Thank you Rachel, for helping us with the solo, it was beautiful."

She nodded. "I'd better get back to my dads." She turned to Noah. "I'll wait for you after the results." She left the Green room just as the warning light above them flashed, signalling them to return to the stage for the results.

"First of all, I want to thank everyone for coming and for our judges, who took the time out of their busy schedules to make the difficult decision of who's won." The announcer smiled on the stage as the competing teams stood behind him, all hopeful that they were going to Nationals. "We had some amazing performances today and some really touching songs, the decision was not easy for our judges but they have made their decision, however, I would like to present the award for the Most Valuable Performer, this year the judges have decided that this award goes to; Tina Cohen-Chang of the New Directions for her beautiful and touching performance of their solo."

Rachel cheered as loudly as she could, Tina had never won anything before, she was always the one to sway in the background, knowing that the judges had given her this award over everyone else was a huge deal for the Asian girl.

"Well done Miss Cohen-Chang." The announcer gave her a trophy. "Now, in second place; the Dalton Academy Warblers." There was a loud cheer though the Warblers were disappointed that they hadn't won, they looked at Blaine in betrayal for it was no secret that if he had still been part of the team instead of being taken away by Kurt, whom they also glared at, they would be going to New York for Nationals. "Well done boys, well done, and the winners of today's Regional competition and going to New York; McKinley High School's the New Directions."

Rachel was happy for them, she was a little sad that she wouldn't be going to New York with them but she'd rather spend time with her fathers than go to New York right now. She stood and cheered as they hugged each other, then Mike came down to her row and brought her up on stage to join in the hugs.

"You got us here Rach, you're part of this victory." He told her.

While Quinn, Santana, Kurt and Mercedes weren't happy that she'd been brought up to join in their celebration, they were too hyped up to make a scene, in their eyes it was the group song that had won them Regionals and it was that she wasn't part of the group that they beat the Warblers, this was their second victory without Rachel Berry, in truth everyone knew that the judges were amazed that the New Directions had composed original songs and had performed them so well, it also helped that the solo was very moving.

In the audience at the back, two very confused people stared at the stage before looking at each other and leaving, they'd get their answers sooner or later but it wasn't time for them to reveal themselves just yet.