Characters borrowed from S. Meyer

Chapter 10:

Bella | November

"Congratulations, Miss Swan. It looks like you've got a healthy baby," Dr. Barrett, my OBGYN smiled at me. "Next time we'll start testing for any fetal abnormalities, but it'll be a few weeks, ok? Make the appointment with the nurse on the way out."

"Oh, Bells, this is so exciting! We can start buying things for the baby soon," Alice clapped her hands quietly as Dr. Barrett stepped out of the room.

"Not until I tell Edward," I reasoned, pulling at my clothes. Alice just groaned.

"You're gonna have to tell him soon, Bella."

"I know, I'm just scared. If it goes anything like our last conversation then I'd rather just put it off."

"Oh come on this is different. We're talking about a child; his child. I think it'll be better this time."

"Right," I mumbled.

"You haven't even given him a chance to redeem himself, you know that right?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, "You know it's true. I swear, if I have to listen to him complain about how disconnected you two are one more time-"

Wait.

"We're not disconnected. I mean, it's not easy but I - I'm - yeah I'm normal. Pretty normal. As normal as I can be."

Alice smirked, "Right, normal. You acting normal around him is why he's always grumbling on about how you're shutting him out and acting like everything is fine when it's not?"

"I think he's just being a little sensitive."

Alice continued, "You know, I never thought I'd say this but I actually feel kind of sorry for him. Ok, so yeah, he acted like a dick and he totally screwed up by walking out on you but at least he didn't do it to purposely hurt you. You've been dragging him through the mud for weeks."

Hot tears started to blur my vision. I wiped at them with the back of my hand.

Do not cry, Bella. So help me God…

"It's not as easy as you make it sound. I can handle him rejecting me but if he rejects the baby, I don't think we'll make it back from that."

Alice sighed, pulling me into a hug and resting her head on top of mine.

"You've got to tell him."

Her pleading tone caught me off guard. She'd been my support system for the last few weeks and as much as I appreciated it, I knew I was looking to the wrong person. It wasn't her job to look after me or the baby. It technically wasn't Edward's job either but he had more of a responsibility than his sister did.

I wasn't being fair to her by making her hide it from him. It wasn't her secret to keep.

"I'll tell him today."

Edward

Bella was at my front door and the uneasy feeling I got every time I'd seen her since Texas hit me full force.

"Hey," I said with a quizzical look. "Is everything ok?"

Her brows furrowed, "Everything's fine, I just felt like dropping by. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, of course. Come in."

She hadn't been to my place in ages, but not for my lack of trying. I had pretty much used any excuse I could think of to get her to stop by but she always came up with some reason to steer clear.

"Sorry I didn't call, I was just in the neighborhood," she said, and her attention was caught by the small mountain of mail that was piled on the table.

"Stop it," I stepped forward to slap her hand lightly and take the mail from her. "You're such a hoverer. And since when do you have to check in on me?" I raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "I'll have you know that I'm actually quite responsible."

She let out a short bark of laughter, "You know, you're actually not that responsible. You killed my turtle when we were fifteen."

"Ok, first of all, that turtle was spawned from the depths of hell. He tried to snap at me every time I fed him," I said, pointing a finger at her. "Also, I thought the heat lamp had a timer."

"You're really going to try to defend yourself here? What about the time I let you borrow my iPod and you gave it back to me covered in ink?" she glowered.

"Are you ever going to let me live that down? It was an accident! And you're not exactly blameless."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Really? Nothing I've done is worse than whatever you did when we were younger."

I snapped my fingers. "How about the time you didn't show up for jury duty and they put out a warrant for your arrest? For shame, Bella."

"That wasn't my fault, my dad never gave me the summons! And they didn't put out a warrant for my arrest, stop exaggerating." She smiled briefly and then said, "Am I interrupting?"

"No, I was just about to make dinner. Want to stick around?"

"What are you making?"

"I'm making whatever you're in the mood for."

"Escargot?" Her tone was overly excited and I glared.

"Correction, I'm making whatever food you're in the mood for."

"Some people eat snails, Edward. Maybe they're really delicious, and you've been missing out this whole time," she challenged.

"That's highly doubtful, Bella. They're snails. It's just not natural," I shuddered.

She chuckled lightly before changing the subject, "I was actually thinking we could take a walk."

"Um…sure. What's the occasion?" I asked suspiciously.

"I want to talk," she stated simply.

A lump formed in my throat. "That's terrifying."

We made it down to the street in complete silence and had walked a couple of blocks by the time either of us spoke again.

"You're scaring me."

"I want to talk but I don't know where to start, honestly," she shrugged.

"Maybe with an apology?" I asked sheepishly. "I was a jerk. I should have never walked out on you like that. I should've stayed in bed and talked to you about it rationally instead of freaking out and running away."

"That was a really shitty thing to do," she whispered.

"I know," I frowned. "I didn't really think about what I was doing but I hope you know that I didn't do it to hurt you. I was scared and it all felt like too much. You were looking at me like you wanted me to say it back and I just couldn't."

She scoffed. "And you think I wasn't afraid of what I was feeling?"

"No, of course I know it wasn't easy but-"

"No, it wasn't. You were the one person I told myself I wouldn't fall for, but you swooped in and did the whole...thing," she gestured wildly," and I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to tell you how I felt, that maybe you'd make an exception for me. But you walked out on me. Do you know how humiliating that was? And then we didn't talk for days afterward."

I groaned.

"I tried to apologize to you at the airport."

"Only because you felt guilty and you wanted me to absolve you," she said accusingly.

"Of course I felt guilty, Bella. You looked so hurt that day and then you were pissed off at the airport. I didn't know what to say but I knew that I needed you to forgive me. And I'll take responsibility for treating you the way I did, but you have to at least own up to the fact that you haven't stopped punishing me for everything."

"I've been punishing you?" she cried. "It's been killing me to try and act normal around you!"

"God, just be normal, Bella. You don't have to act like anything. You say everything is fine but then you'll go and talk to every single person in the room except for me. You won't look at me or spend any time with me if someone doesn't force you to," I hissed.

Bella laughed coldly as she turned from me. "Fuck off Edward. Don't act like it's such a surprise. You know why I can't just be normal around you."

I grabbed for her arm to stop her from leaving. She wasn't allowed to bring up something like this and then walk away from it. I had too much to say; I was still too angry with her for treating me like I didn't mean anything to her anymore.

"Fine," I egged her on, "if you'll only be my friend if I date you then so be it."

She pushed me away roughly with tears pooling in her eyes and I knew she knew what I meant.

"That's not fair," she whispered.

"What's not fair," I said as I stepped closer to her, "is that I lost my best friend over this bullshit. I get it, you're mad that I wouldn't date you but how long are you going to hold it over me? I'm sorry that I messed up B, but it's not fair that you're trying to force me into something that I told you I didn't want in the first place."

She pushed me again.

"God, how are you so blind? How the hell am I supposed to act when the one person I love most in the world treats me like I was a mistake? It wasn't a mistake for me, Edward! You have no idea how long I waited for you to notice me. I've wanted you for years and I never said anything because I knew it's not what you wanted. I sacrificed my happiness to make your life easier and just when I think you're about to see things for what they really are you go and act like the royal asshole you're being right now."

My mind stilled at her confession. She didn't have feelings for me before this. I was with her all the time, I would have noticed if she were ever acting that way toward me.

She was pacing in front of me and I could see the tiny droplets falling from her chin.

"God, I'm such an idiot."

"Bella-" I started, but she cut me off before I could get any words out.

"Whatever, fuck it," she swiped at her tears. "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it then?" I bit out, annoyed that she had cut me off. I was tired of the arguing and the fighting and the ignoring. My patience for handling things her way was wearing thin. I just wanted to get this sorted so we could get back to normal.

She closed her eyes and what she said next nearly knocked the wind out of me.

"I'm pregnant."

The silence between us stretched on, the only sounds I could hear were those of the city around us.

The words hung in the air.

"You're…pregnant?" I repeated, unsure if I had heard her correctly. She nodded but she still had her eyes closed and I couldn't tell if she was serious or not.

"Have you, you know, been with anyone else since…everything?" I asked, and I knew too late that that was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes snapped open and I could see the anger flash across her face.

"Are you serious?"

I swallowed hard and nodded, waiting for her answer.

She scoffed and shook her head.

"No, I haven't been with anyone else. I'm not like you, I couldn't do that."

"Like me?" I asked, and for some reason her words caused my chest to constrict.

"I don't sleep around," she explained. My expression turned a little darker.

"I haven't been sleeping around, Bella. I haven't been with anyone since you."

"Don't act like that such a jump, for me to think you've been with other people. You don't have the greatest track record."

I took a few moments to breathe and calm myself before this conversation got out of control. "How far along are you?"

"Nine weeks," she informed me. "I found out when we were in Texas."

"Texas?" I shouted, causing her to jump.

"Yes, Texas," she snapped, "The day of the party."

"And the doctor confirmed it?"

I had to be sure.

She just nodded once more and I asked my final question.

"And you're sure it's mine?"

Bella covered her face in her hands and let out a loud, frustrated cry.

"No its not, but since things are going so great with us I thought I'd try to pawn it off on you instead of the real father. What the fuck, Edward? Of course its yours!" she yelled,her outburst catching me off guard.

"Calm down, I just wanted to be sure," I told her, shoving my hands into my pockets.

"The fact that I'm telling you that it's yours should be confirmation enough," she spat. "Look, I don't expect anything from you, ok? I just thought you should know because I think I'm going to keep it."

"Ok," I started slowly. "Should we get married then?" I gulped. If it were for a good reason, maybe I could do it.

She burst out into laughter and I stared at her wide-eyed.

She'd lost her mind.

"Bella…" I snapped, hoping to break her out of her moment. She was being ridiculous.

"You're unbelievable!" she raved. "I don't want to get married. I really don't even expect you to be involved. At this point, I'd rather do it alone. I only told you because Alice practically begged me to."

My eyebrow shot up. "Alice knows?"

"She was the first person I told."

I took a deep breath and let it out in one big puff. "Why wouldn't you want me involved?"

"Really, Edward?" Her tone held a hint of disbelief.

"Really," I repeated, if a little sadly.

She took a few seconds before she responded, "You broke my heart that day. I literally give everything that I am to you and you disregarded it so easily. If we have this baby then it will be the most important thing to me, and if you brush that off then I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive you. I'd rather you just stay away if you're still sowing your wild oats or whatever.

"Bella, if we're having a kid together I'm going to be around. I'd at least try to make it work."

"Make what work?" she cocked her head to the side.

"Us, as a couple," I stated. I thought that I had been pretty obvious about it.

"Why would you want that?" she asked lowly.

I shrugged. "You know, for the baby. Stable home and what not."

"No. We're not going to be those people who stay together for their kids," she laughed humorlessly.

"We could try, at least?"

"Edward, I don't need you to try to make it work. I don't want that for myself, and you just said you don't want it either. We weren't in love before the baby so there's no use in pretending afterwards." She said dully, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So you're saying you don't want to be together?" I asked slowly.

"Not unless you're in love with me, too," She whispered.

I was silent. I didn't have a response for her. Well, I did, but I knew it wouldn't be one that she wanted so I chose to say nothing.

"That's what I thought," she said, a unreadable expression on her face. "I don't want you to propose to me because you think it's the right thing to do. I don't want you pretending that you're happy in a relationship that you don't want to be in. If you're going to be in our child's life then I just want you around. No running off when you get scared. I'll need you to stay."

"I would never leave you alone with a baby, Bella. I'm not going anywhere." I pleaded with her. For some reason I felt like she was trying to push me out of the situation, like it'd be easier if I weren't in the picture.

"Good," she sighed, nodded once conclusively.

"So what do we do now?"