Title: Temptation
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just for fun.
Warnings: AU for season 2
Pairings: lightly implied Xander/Jesse
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 460
Point of view: third
Xander's tempted Fate every day of his life.
How was he to know this time she'd show?
o0o
Maybe, he thinks, doing his best to glare at the stupid-ass vamp that kidnapped a friend of the Slayer, maybe it began when he overheard in the library or when Jesse died.
He's never been able to pick one.
Because—he knows himself. Can't lie when you're looking at your soul.
If Jesse hadn't died, Xander would have never fought.
o0o
He doesn't have some fucking destiny. Or witchy-powers or Watcher training or undead blood in his veins. He wasn't bit by his were-cousin and he could walk away at any damn time.
So why the hell does he stay? Why doesn't he run and never look back?
Because he inhaled some of Jess when he died and now he can't forget.
Can't forget the first secret shared or the first fight he ever got in for someone else. Can't forget when Jesse let him stay over with no explanation required or demanded. Can't forget his first kiss.
Can't forget the tickle in his nose or the burn in his eyes when Jesse died.
He can't forget. So he can't walk away.
o0o
Xander's tempted Fate every day of his life.
He never meant to—but Dad's a nasty drunk and makes it so easy. The words roll off his tongue and he can never apologize like he means it. The glares force themselves out of his eyes, and who is he to deny?
Every slap, every punch, every kick, every bruise, every cut—something inside him shattered a little more. He could feel the rip in his soul, jagged and gaping open.
And he wondered… he wondered… how long until his soul completely fell apart and his body just stopped working.
Xander's tempted Death, too, and it's a real fucking surprise what face It wears.
It's damned funny in the most ironic way. The vampire watches, mystified, and he can't stop laughing.
o0o
Xander doesn't have a destiny. He's not magical or trained from birth or touched by a monster.
Xander fought only for vengeance.
"You think you'll win?" he asks once he can breathe again. "You know her almost as well as I do."
Cordelia's face grins at him. For some reason, that makes him laugh even more.
o0o
Xander's tempted Fate since he was born. And finally, she's given in.
He's not magical or a watcher or a werewolf. But he does have undead blood in his veins.
And it's funny, the funniest thing he's ever heard, but he didn't become suicidal until after he died.
He can still feel how his eyes burned. But now his whole body burns and then there's nothing.