Weird and Unexplainable Things

I woke up before the sun was even up, I almost got up when I felt something pressing against my back, going up and down in a steady motion, I turned my head slightly and I saw Sesshomaru, and the thing that was moving up and down, was his breathing in and out, he was asleep, but only barely, I -as quietly and as carefully as possible- got up out of his lap, and I took off into the trees. I ran and ran and ran, I didn't look where is was when I stopped, I just sat down in some random spot, I couldn't exactly stay there in his arms, I don't know why, but I feel kind of scared, and nervous to get to close... like I'm too scared to fall in love.

What happened last night keeps playing in my head, it felt so good to just let loose, and go with him, and before I fell asleep I actually admitted that it would be okay to fall for him, why did I think that? And if I really do think that, then why am I so scared now? I know Sesshomaru is up right now, and I know he is wondering where I am, when I go back what will he say? What will he do? Why did I just leave like that? What if he is just doing this because of who I am? What if I fall in love with him, but he is just using me? Maybe thats why I'm so scared...

I heard something kind of close to me, like... water, a waterfall, and crickets. I looked around and was shocked at what I saw... it was my 'special place'... but it's weird, it's different than before, the butterflies, birds, and the other living things in here, I didn't hear them before... but now, I hear them all, and you can hear, the wind blowing, and see it making the grass blow sideways, the grass didn't look as soft as before, it looked stiff, strait up, as if on high alert, as to not let down it's guard.

I looked at the... pond, and it had ripples... wait no, thats not what it looks like, it looks like it's... trembling? Like it's cowering away from something, and I said it looked like it was so pure no one could touch it... well, now it looks as if it's not that pure anymore, like something happened to it, and now it isn't a deep blue, it's like a very, very light baby blue, and the waterfall, you could actually hear it too... okay this is weird, I didn't know what was happening, and I'm not so sure that I want to know, I got up, and ran back to the group, I got there just as everyone was leaving, and I went and stood right by Sesshomaru's side, he looked down at me, and I looked up at him, I mouthed to him.

'sorry, I had to think about something' He slightly nodded and looked back at the road ahead of us, as did I, but the only thing on my mind was my 'special place' it was so weird, at first it was calm, and now it's like it was tense, scared, and nervous, I cant explain it... but thats what it felt like.

I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't notice that Naraku was in front of us, until we ran into him... figuratively speaking of coarse.

"So, I heard that our little miko is actually a goddess." He chuckled/giggled, it sounded weird, but at the same time normal... for him at least. "I came to ask her a question." he turned to look at me, I stepped forward and spoke.

"Then ask."

"I will leave all of your friends alone, and wont try to kill them, only if they don't attack me, if you become my ally... and maybe a little more afterwards." He said the last part a little more silently.

"Oh? And what makes you think I would do it, let alone want to?"

"Because, you wouldn't want them to get hurt... and besides you wouldn't want to stay with them, considering they turned their backs on you, Inuyasha doesn't want you, Kikyou is dying by the moment, cause she doesn't want to keep taking dead womens souls, the kids can always find another... and Sesshomaru, as of 2 weeks ago was told that he had to find a mate, otherwise he would lose his lands... isn't that around the time he started acting all nice, and 'sweet'?" I gasped slightly, why hadn't I known that he was notified? Wait, I didn't know because two weeks ago was when Ares visited the first time and I had a lot on my mind at the time. I clenched my hands and let my bangs cover my eyes. I sensed that Naraku moved right in front of me, and that everyone had to refrain from jumping him. "I can see you need some time alone, I'll come back later." He lifted his hand and caressed my cheek, then flew off.

I didn't look back as I ran into the woods, I stopped in a random clearing, and I made sure not to go back to my 'special place' even though I felt an invisible pull trying to make me go there, I just drooped on the ground on my back, and I let all the questions run through my mind.

Why did Sango and Miroku turn their back on me? and pretend to be my friend in the first place? Why doesn't Inuyasha even want me around? Why didn't Kikyou tell me she was dying? Has she been hiding her sent so that I wouldn't know? And would the kids really just forget about me and move on? And Sesshomaru... he was just doing this to keep his lands? And why... why did it actually feel good when Naraku do that? Not like Sesshomaru of coarse... but still... I liked it, I wanted it, and... I think... I want more. Why? Is it because as soon as I found out about Sesshomaru, that I immediately needed someone else to comfort me? Is that somebody actually Naraku? Do I actually want to go to him? I groaned and clutched my head in my hands... I have a serious migraine coming on.

I knew I shouldn't have tried to deal with my problems right now, cause I was too busy that I didn't notice Sesshomaru was headed my way, and now he's to close to actually make a run for it. He barged through the clearing and as soon as he saw me he just stopped and stared. I glared at him then picked myself up off of the ground.

"What do you want?" I spat.

"You can't honestly believe him can you?" he asked monotonously.

"You didn't seem to deny it." I said matter-of-factly.

"It's true, but I never would have picked some random women."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better!" He was in front of me in a second, and I inclined my head to look at him, while he just looked down at me.

"Look, when I first joined the group I didn't like you at all, and as I got to know you, by seeing the way you acted and such, my appreciation grew and then my appreciation grew to affection... I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't have some sort of affection for you." hmmm I guess he does sort of have a point, but...

"So you did chose me just for that reason, just cause you had some little bit of affection for me?" He sighed.

"No, I wouldn't have picked you if I had just a little bit, and if I did then the moment you found out, I just would have went to someone else... I could find millions of women who would take one look at me and would say yes as soon as I asked them, but obviously I don't wont that, if you could just see that I'm trying to fight for you! My affection isn't just small, it has pushed it's way past the stage of liking!" I was in shock not only was Sesshomaru yelling, but he just admitted that he had feelings for me, and he admitted that it wasn't at the stage of loving... yet, but it wasn't below the stage of liking. I smiled at him.

"So it's not just for your lands?"

"I think this would have happened whether or not I had to find a mate." I smiled even bigger.

"Thanks... for everything." He sighed I think somewhat relieved that it's over. "But don't think your off the hook for not telling-" He cut me off with a big kiss, after about a minute I pulled back. Hey you cant get out of this just because-" And he kissed me again, and I pulled back a minute later. "Hey stop that I'm trying to-" He kissed me... again, but this time he put a hand on the back of my head to keep me there, I growled lightly, but then just rolled my eyes, and pressed into it.

We kissed for a few minutes till finally the kiss stopped abruptly, I wasn't the one to stop it though. I looked confusedly at Sesshomaru.

"You are not going to Naraku, are you?" I blinked a couple times, curious as to where that came from.

"I... I... I was considering it at first, but I don't think so, the idea is still there, but only because of the affection, that my-" I was cut off by Sesshomaru... again, but this time it was his voice, not his lips.

"What do you mean affection?" He nearly growled out, and his eyes were narrowed.

"If you would have let me finish, you would know... all gods and goddesses have beasts just like demons have inner demons, well when it comes to a god or goddess, our beast isn't like inner demons, inner demons talk in you head a lot -unless you just lock the voice away... until you want to talk to it- anyway with gods and goddesses they don't talk in our heads. For us, they are the evil side of us, -except when it comes to Lucifer his beast is the good side of him- and just like demons inner demons, us gods and goddesses have beasts that hold affection for other people, and since they are evil... you naturally want an evil doing, hot guy, and the affection was coming from my beast... so, yeah." He looked relieved. "Well, uh.. we should head back." He nodded a bit, and did something totally unexpected to me, he picked me up bridal style and then ran off to the group, I squealed and latched onto him, as soon as we got there he sat down, I tried to get up but he made sure I stayed in his lap. I sighed and crossed my arms in frustration... oh well, there is no use in pouting, so I just leaned back against him... I just hope nothing can ruin this moment.

Just then I felt that someone was running at an incredibly fast pace, as soon as I noticed who it was I groaned and put my head in my hands. Dust was picked up and he was right in the middle of it, as soon as the dust cleared, he looked around, then spotted me... in Sesshomaru's arms. He growled and came over to stand right in front of us.

"Hey! Dog breaths brother! What are you doing with my woman!?" I spoke... well thought, too soon, then I looked back up and saw that he looked mad, and I don't mean frustrated... like he gets with Inuyasha, I mean mad, as mad as he was when he found out his clan was nearly wiped out. This is going to be a long rest of the day with him here, and him being... Kouga.