"She's my ex."

"You don't fucking say, Alex," Piper cried and sat up from where they were lying and moved to sit at the bottom of the bed so that Alex couldn't touch her. "I've seen you around girls that you've fucked before and one of your exes. I know your facial expressions like the back of my hand."

"I'm sorry," Alex muttered and sat up herself and started to move closer to Piper but the blonde put her hand up and Alex stopped moving.

"I want to know everything about her," Piper said and looked at Alex intently. "You don't have to tell me now, but I deserve to know. I'm your girlfriend and the fact that I don't know about her fucking hurts, Al. You know the names of all of my exes and everything I did with them."

"I don't know about the ones between me and Larry," Alex replied quickly.

"That's because I wasn't in a relationship until Larry." Piper shrugged, "I just fucked people and tried to compare them to you. I didn't want a relationship but Larry was persistent."

Piper was too tired for a conversation like this but she felt like it was needed. She wouldn't be able to sleep if they didn't have it. She was so angry though despite being used to Alex keeping many things from her, though a lot of it was for her safety. Keeping quiet about an ex-girlfriend wasn't exactly the best thing to do.

"We can talk about this in the morning," Alex said because she needed time to figure out how to tell Piper everything but she knew that she would do, she had to.

Piper didn't say anything as she got off Alex's bed and went to her own. She climbed under the cover and turned her back on her girlfriend and attempted to settle down to sleep.

oOoOo

The sleep that Piper craved never came so she gave in. Instead, she sat up and turned on the lamp in her cube, hoping it wouldn't wake up Alex. Once she clicked it on, she paused to see if there was any movement from Alex's bunk but she was relieved when she just saw that slight rise and fall of Alex's body to know that she was sleeping peacefully.

Piper had always had a slight problem with anger and she had a horrible temper which Alex was all too aware of. Because of that, she was confused to why Alex always kept things from her despite her knowing that she could flip at any moment and yell.

There had been the odd attempt at therapy sessions that Polly had suggested Piper to go to but she never liked the person she booked with. She'd been to four different people and had something she disliked about each of one. The first never gave her definite answers and would always ask her a question in return. The second never looked up from her notepad. The third kept asking personal questions about her sex life which disturbed her and the fourth just didn't seem to know what he was doing. However, he did suggest that if she was ever feeling angry, she could write down her feelings in a form of a letter. She never needed to address the letter nor give it to anyone, but it would help for her to vent her feelings. As sleep was evading her, she decided to finally give it a go.

There was always one person in the world that she felt that she could tell anything to and that was Alex. She knew that she could tell Polly anything but she always risked being slightly judged by her best friend and her best friend sometimes didn't have the best advice. Alex nearly always did.

Dear Alex,

You currently sleep next to me and just your presence calms me. I can hear your gentle breathing and see how peaceful you are when you're asleep and it always astounds me that you always appear so deeply asleep but usually the smallest sound awakens you.

Today an old girlfriend of yours came into the prison and you didn't have the best reaction. You also decided not tell me that she was your ex so I had to force it out of you. Yet you willingly told Nicky. I could see the words spoken between you at dinner. I understand that you may not want to tell me about her but I deserve to know everything about if we're going to work out. We've promised to not leave each other again and I never want to but you have to be open and honest with me.

I have a few questions to ask. Was she the one you were with when we first got together? Don't be surprised that I know that you cheated on someone when we were first together. I was friends with your friends and Pamela told me about it but she didn't saw who she was. Did you get back together after I left you? I totally understand if that happened, you always need someone; it's not safe for you to be left on your own. Did she lead you to the drugs after I left? If she was then I can't be fully responsible for what I do to her. Finally, the one that I truly want to know but pains me to write, did you love her?

You probably won't read this letter though I crave the information to the questions. Who knows what's going to come from this, it's probably just a waste of paper and ink. Yet, I thought it would be a good idea to write everything down, just in case. It's actually helped me and I'll probably do this again.

I love you, Alex and I worry always that I'm not good enough or exciting enough for you.

Love,

Your Piper.

Piper finished writing the letter and folded it up. She placed the lid back onto the pen and put both the pen and the paper back into her cupboard before leaning up and turning off the light. She didn't look over to Alex before attempting to go back to sleep. However, if she had looked over, she would have seen that Alex had seen her writing a letter and she was anxious to know what it contained.

oOoOo

In the morning, Piper woke up feeling anything but rested but she knew that she did want Alex to read the letter; she needed to know the answers to the questions, especially the last one. Instead of waiting for Alex to wake up so they could shower together again, she quickly slipped out of bed and went to her cupboard. After retrieving the letter, she placed it on top of Alex's cupboard and addressed it to her. She then collected all of her shower things and headed to the shower.

Alex heard the movement in her cube and woke up to see Piper leaving. Sighing, Alex knew that she'd fucked up last night with the whole Victoria thing but she didn't know how to tell Piper. She sat up and looked at her cupboard to find her watch to see the time but by doing that, she saw the letter. She knew just by looking at it that it was the letter Piper was writing during the night. Immediately, she picked it up and read it at least three times. Each time she read it, she felt worse; she had essentially lied to Piper with just withholding the truth and she knew that Piper had trust issues with the relationship between her parents. It seemed that she had forgotten how much Piper knew her and it both shocked and amazed her how that was even possible. One thing she knew about Piper was that she loved to shower so she knew she wouldn't be back very soon so she took her time to write her a reply that she could read.

Piper,

You're currently in the shower and as much as I wish you would have waited for me to go with you, I completely understand your wish to be alone right now. I need to also confess that I'm glad you decided to give me this letter as I saw you writing it last night and would have asked you about it anyway.

I should have told you when we were together the first time about Victoria as we were together for almost a year until I cheated on her with you but I couldn't help myself. As soon as I saw you, I was completely head over heels. You were young, blonde and so attractive that I needed to talk to you. I kept seeing you around and then you called me and I knew that you were going to be more important to me than anyone so I got rid of Victoria. So in answer to your first question, yes, she was the one I cheated on. I should have known Pamela would have blabbed; she could never keep a secret.

The answer to the second question is yes, we got back together after you left but no, she wasn't the one to lead me to drugs. In actual fact, it was the complete opposite, she knew me enough that I would hate myself later because I allowed myself to take drugs and she was right. I wish I hadn't taken them but I just missed you so much! She was there for me every step of the way when I was recovering. However, shortly after I was deemed clean, she had a major problem as a few of the mules she hired lost a lot of money so, with that, I became one of Kubra's favourites as it proved I was more trustworthy than she was. She left me immediately and then started to sabotage my shippings. This obviously led me to giving her name to the feds as well as yours. I'm terrified that she's going to hurt you while we're both in here to get back at me. I don't know if she knows that I turned her in. She's always disliked you because, this will answer question four too, I never loved her. She knew that I was completely in love with you and that it wasn't possible for me to love another as much as I love you. I would always talk about our time together after you left and she hates you because I left her for you in the first place.

I'm so sorry, Piper. I wish I could say all this in person but I guess you're right; it does help to write things down from time to time. Also please never think that you're not good enough for me or that you're not exciting. You are exciting and you are so much better than I am that I don't deserve you.

I love you too, Piper, and I never want to be without you.

Love always,

Your Al.

Alex thought it better to end the letter with the name that only Piper and her mother called her just to show her vulnerability. She then folded the piece of paper up and climbed out of bed. She slipped the paper slightly under Piper's cover and then grabbed her own shower things. Obviously, she knew that there was a high chance of bumping into Piper in the bathroom but she needed to get a shower before everyone else got up and went.

When she got to the shower, she saw that Piper was stood by the sink with dripping wet hair and was brushing her teeth. She looked up and saw Alex in her reflection and smiled. Alex took this as a good sign and moved over to her and kissed her neck.

"Look under your cover," Alex whispered into her ear. She kissed Piper's neck again before heading to take her shower.

oOoOo

Piper regretted giving Alex the letter as soon as she got into the shower; it was a coward's way of expressing their feelings when they should talk about it. However, it was too late to take it back. Without Alex there, she took the time to shower and wash her body slowly so she could think about what Alex would say if she were to reply. But with the thoughts of Alex, she felt herself being turned on and didn't want to risk being caught masturbating in the shower so she shook her head of all dirty thoughts of her girlfriend and went back to washing her body.

She turned off the shower and wrapped a towel tightly around her body before going to brush her teeth. She then saw Alex's reflection in the mirror and saw the worried expression on her face. She didn't want Alex to be cautious around her, not if her ex was currently floating around, so she smiled and welcomed the kiss that Alex gave to her neck. However, she panicked again when Alex told her to look under her cover; it was obvious that she'd written a reply. Half of Piper wanted to rush out of the bathroom immediately to look at it and the other half wanted to run in the complete other direction and avoid it forever. Yet she knew that she'd need to read it eventually and her clothes were in her cube so she needed to return.

When she finally got back, she finished drying herself off and dressed. She towel dried her hair and then took a deep breath before picking up the letter. She wanted to cry when she finished the letter because it both confirmed what she wanted to know and told her that Alex didn't think she was good enough for her. There was also the added fact that this Victoria would automatically cause problems for Alex as she had done that before and they didn't know if she knew that Alex had given her up. She hoped that she was as oblivious to that as Piper was when she had first come to the prison.

However, it was nice to know that Alex had had an immediate attraction to her when they first met just as she'd had to Alex. Yes, she'd flirted with other women when she was drunk but Alex was the first woman that she could see herself being with when she was completely sober.

When she got to the end of the letter, she realised that there was nothing more she wanted to do right now than to kiss her girlfriend. She couldn't go back into the bathroom as many of the girls had got up and started going there. Instead she just had to wait. She wasn't going to write anything currently; it was time to talk face to face.

Fortunately, she didn't have long to wait as Alex soon returned from her shower but Piper didn't talk straight away. She let Alex dry off and redress in silence. When she was done she turned and looked expectantly at Piper to start the conversation, however, Piper said nothing. She grabbed Alex's hand and led her to the chapel which was quickly becoming their special place.

Due to the fact that they'd both just had showers, she didn't plan on fucking her so she sat on the floor and then lied down. She patted the space next to her once she was on the ground. Alex raised her eyebrow but mirrored Piper's position on the floor and wrapped her arm protectively around Piper.

"I love you," Piper started, "I thought it was best to start with that. I'm glad you were able to tell me about it in a letter."

"I'm glad you wrote yours," Alex replied and she couldn't help herself but lean forward and kiss Piper soundly.

"And if she does anything, we'll get through this together, right?" Piper asked and Alex could hear her fear in her voice.

"Together," Alex promised, "And with help from our friends." She kissed Piper and they kissed heavily until they had to go to breakfast and start the day. However, their day was immediately challenged when they saw Nicky, Lorna and Boo talking to Casey in the corner of the canteen. It also didn't help that their three sisters did not look happy.