After Lupin released Fujiko from her bonds, and Fujiko had stopped Lupin from releasing anything else, the gang took stock of their situation.
"So, what do we know?" Fujiko ventured.
"That, quite possibly, Zenigata is more insane than anyone thought," Lupin said.
"I meant, do we know anything useful?"
"Not as such."
"Hey, Fujiko, come here." Jigen beckoned. "I do know one thing…"
Fujiko came closer.
Jigen slapped her.
"Ouch! W-what was that for, wretch?!"
Jigen grinned, "The one thing I know is that you're the only one I didn't slap. And you deserve it the most."
Fujiko flounced to the bed and turned her back to the rest of the gang.
"I think we should just walk around and try to finish the story. Though, the more we throw it off course, the harder and weirder the fanfic will fight back. If we're careful, I think we can find an escape route." Lupin concluded. "What do you say? It'll be perilous!"
"'Perilous'?"
"Sorry. The literary atmosphere is affecting me."

The gang started to scour the streets, looking for a way out, or a way to continue the story.
"Hi-hi!" sang a 16 year old school girl.

Though she was only 16, her figured made her pass for 20. She was also very mature for her age. She dressed in all black since the day she killed the giant walrus who was attacking her mother as they were kayaking in the arctic. Only after her mother died did she find out that the walrus was her evil older step-brother, who wanted his revenge on her mother for taking his mother's place. She trained long and hard, and became an expert assassin at age 7, killing people with toothpicks.
Now she was 16, and desperately in love with Jigen, though he was 25 years older than her.

"Hey! I'm not that old!" cried Jigen.

The girl could only hope that Jigen would never guess how she felt, because she could never live if he knew.

"Is that so…Well, I know now. So let me help you."
Jigen shot Mary Sue with no more thought than if she had been a paper target.
"If only that could have felt better…but it was so easy, so simple…so stupid."

Goemon, meanwhile, had dispatched three Jigen clones, four Mary Sues, and a Gary Stu.
And a robot, but that seemed to not be part of the story and was just an unfinished plot-line.

Lupin was depressed because Zenigata didn't write any girls for him. Mostly just traps to escape out of. Which he was finding tiring.
Eventually, the all met up again.

"Find anything?"
"Seduction works on fictional men, too!" Cried a happy and (fictionally) rich Fujiko.
"…Anybody else?"
The rest shook their heads. Suddenly, there was a rumbling sound.
"I was afraid of this," Lupin said.
"Afraid of what?" Goemon asked.
"The fanfic. We've been stopping Zenigata's story from developing—"
"—Which is good because it's awful—"
"—But now, the story has nothing left but whatever it can come up with. The fabric of time is ripping to shreds, and we have to save the world!"
"…Really?" Jigen asked.
"No. I just know the story hasn't been weird enough for a Zenigata story for it to end yet."
The rumbling came closer, and when the dust cleared it revealed:
The Leningrad Cowboys accompanied by the Red Russian Army Choir!
They all started to sing 'Sweet Home Alabama', and creep everyone out.
Fujiko stared in horror at their jackets and shoes, Jigen turned away from their singing, Lupin liked their hair and Goemon bought their CD.
The gang ran away and suddenly fell into a vat of…chocolate pudding.

Zenigata was waiting in the middle of the substance.
"Uh…Pops? What are you doing here?"
Zenigata grinned. "I knew no mere fanfic could defeat you, Lupin. But, here in a fanfic, I can!"
Lupin laughed. "Sorry, Zenigata. I'm still me in here. And you're still you."
Zenigata's grin became wider and evil, "Exactly."
The pudding started to bubble and shift.
"There's something you don't know about me Lupin: I'm psychic!"
"What!?"
"Yes I have the power…to control pudding!"
They all would have fallen to the ground with laughter, but nobody wanted pudding on their clothes.
Zenigata ignored their mirth, instead concentrating until he had formed a pudding blade.
"Time to end this, Lupin!"
Lupin started to jump in the air, but the pudding pulled him back down. He had to quickly twist his body downwards and sideways to avoid the weapon.
Lupin put his hand down to steady himself, and his hand was now stuck.
Zenigata began to stab at Lupin on the ground, Lupin had to twist frantically to stay unharmed.
Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko were all trapped in pudding cocoons.
Lupin, exhausted, was panting with both hands stuck in the pudding.
Zenigata cried, "Time to go, Lupin!"
"Right!" Lupin cried.
With a supreme effort, Lupin freed his legs and kicked up into a handstand.
Zenigata's sword came crashing into the pudding, covering himself with it. The pudding was still in 'glue' mode, and the Inspector was temporarily stuck.
Lupin flipped over, wrenched his hands free, and reached over into Zenigata's coat.
"Aha! The original fanfic!" Using Zenigata's pen, Lupin wrote them all back into the real world.

They all woke up where they had started. Most everything was the same. No time had gone by in the real world. Fujiko was double her size, a fact that Jigen thought was hilarious.
"What happened to you?"
"M-alhric-do-chackt!"
"What?" Jigen laughed harder.
"M-alhric-do-chackt!"
"She's allergic to chocolate," Goemon translated.
Lupin thoughtfully bodily rolled Fujiko into the bedroom to recover.
"Where does this leaves us?" Jigen wondered. "These fanfics are more trouble than they're worth."
Lupin came back into the room.
"All in good time, guys. It's all taken care of," He winked. "And Zenigata? About your story…"
"Yeah?"
"Don't quit your day job."