CHARLIE
1) You can not report Bella missing every time she does not answer the phone
2) You can not drive around town with your siren on just to see what people do
3) You can not randomly arrest people
4) And then tell them their bail is 1,000,000,000,000,000 dollars, you know that that is illegal
5) You can not get Bella and Jacob married in your head
6) You can not sign Edward up for the peace corp. hoping that Bella will fall for Jacob while he is away
7) Bella will never date/marry/kiss/hug passionately Jacob, get over it
8) You need to delete your myspace page, it freaks Bella out
9) You can not call Jacob the Big Bad Wolf; this makes him feel girly for some reason
10) You can not ask what Bella was really doing in Italy; it's in your best interest
11) You can not get drunk any more; you're scary when you're drunk
12) Your gun is for official use only, not to shoot down all the boys that her ever shown interest in Bella
13) Bella would like it if you never watched her ballet recital videos
14) Or any videos that feature her falling/ stumbling in them
15) You can stand at random spots in town with a speed gun just waiting for somebody to come by speeding
Wow, this was surprisingly hard to write! I personally think that this isn't my best work, so hope for better in the next chapter, happy new year, may 2009 be a great year for twilight!