Angel of Grey

Chapter ten: Confrontations

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a full day. Meg had fallen asleep, awakened, managed to get some food, and sat for hours.

Still there was no sign of Erik.

Where was he? Was he okay? Thoughts such as those ran through her head and she was amazed and slightly annoyed that not only was she attracted to him, but he was also worrying her. Not that she should be worried. She was fairly certain that he could survive through anything. Wherever he was, it was of his own free will.

She sighed and stirred the broth that she was reheating from yesterday. She knew he would be hungry when he got back considering he had been gone for so long. Perhaps she could placate him with food.

It was odd that she felt almost like she had done something far worse than simply nearly kissing him. The way he reacted made it seem like she had tried to stab him in the back; perhaps it was nearly the same thing to him. When had he ever even touched a female body? He always had those gloves on, and even during his performance in Don Juan Triumphant when he had been so close to Christine, he was so far away at the same time.

She sighed as confusing thoughts roiled around in her head. She didn't know if she loved him…if she just wanted him…or both. For all she knew it could just be a symptom of the madness that was sure to overtake her soon.

For everything she had learned from Erik, he hadn't taught her how to deal with this…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was in a chair in the middle of a dark room. He could not get up from the chair, as if he was cemented to it. There was a dwindling candle set next to him, it's flickering light casting eerie shadows on the walls. The shadows showed distorted images of things and monsters untold, yet nothing in the room gave evidence to what cast them.

The soft pad of feet made him look up, and he saw Christine come towards him in a white satin dress with lace and a veil. She sang to him as she circled him just out of his reach, his ears assailed with the painfully beautiful sound.

From the other side Meg approached in a luminescent cloud-grey gown. It clung to her curves and flared out at the bottom, swishing gracefully around her feet as she approached him. She joined Christine in the circle, dancing delicately to Christine's song.

It was possibly the worst imaginable torture that he had ever endured. They got closer to him, Meg reached down and caressed his cheek but when he reached up to her she danced away from his hand. Christine sang to him her face inches away from his but when he reached out to her she nimbly dodged his hand, shaking her finger coyly.

Christine's song quickly turned from the seductive torture to the sing song voice of a mocking child.

You can not have, you can not touch

What you want to possess so much

Forever chained, forever blind

Forever trapped within your mind

Meg joined in on the song, as they both began to prance around him, their fingers reaching out to him, so close, yet always just a hair away from touching.

Eric awoke with a start, his back sore from the rocky wall face that he was leaning against. He cursed under his breath, and propped himself up.

The dreams were getting worse, and Meg was not helping that get any better. It was maddening the effect she had on his body. If there was ever one thing that he knew he could never control, it was love…and lust. Anything beyond his control had a way of gnawing at him; he was used to having a complete and utter logical reign over his body.

He knew that he had to go back eventually. He couldn't just hide in the shadows forever…even he had to eat. He sighed as he slowly made his way back.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meg was drifting asleep when she heard soft footsteps approach her. When she looked up Erik stood there, his mouth in a grim line.

Meg opened her mouth but he shushed her as he sat down next to her, careful to put space between them.

"Meg, I do not know what caused the happenings last night…but it must not happen again. Whether you truly want me or not, I will not have you to satisfy my…desires."

"So is that all is was? Lust?" Meg asked quietly. Erik did not answer, only stared into the fire and Meg knew that it must be that his heart was still loyal to Christine. That she would merely be a paltry replacement for the one he truly loved.

They were silent for a while, then Erik said quietly,

"Go to bed Meg. You need your rest for tomorrow; you will be starting your leg exercises.

He helped her up and into her room and as she fell asleep she wondered at why there was this dull ache in her heart that had never been there before.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meg sat on the roof of the Opera Populair , her arms wrapped around her knees. She didn't know what she would do. Her father had been haunting her dreams for a month now, and though she hadn't seen him since she knew the dreams would continue. She had to end this…she knew she couldn't keep going on like this.

She got up slowly, resolved on what she had to do. She had to go to him…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meg awoke with her head throbbing. When she wobbled her way into the main room Eric was sitting by the fire. She said nothing to him as he showed her the way she would need to exercise her leg and she dutifully followed his instructions.

Little words were spoken after he gave her a blank volume and told her that her next assignment would be to accurately record everything that he had taught her that past week. He retreated into the dark and she into her room. Both of them were reluctant to speak to each other.

Meg sighed as she slaved over the book. This would only keep her occupied for a week…maybe a week and a half if she got it right the first time. Then what? She would have to talk to him again some time.

Not to mention she had to face the strange feelings within her. She didn't quite understand why she was hurt so much…she only wanted him, right? It was just that she was stuck with him so long…it couldn't be anything more than that.

She sighed…it would be a long week.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ironically enough, it took her two months to get the book right. At some points she was practically certain that she had gotten it right yet he threw it in the fire to just prolong the inevitable. He couldn't get away with that forever though, and soon it came to that point that he handed back the book with a nod.

They sat there in silence for a while, until Meg could no longer stand it.

"This is not very logical, you know. We're acting like children." She stated, not looking at him.

"Perhaps you are acting the child, but I am not." He muttered.

"Oh? Then what do you call the silent treatment, or throwing perfectly correct books into the fire? Mature?"

He didn't answer, and Meg sighed loudly. She had had enough. They were going to talk about this, whether they liked it or not. With this between them they were getting nowhere, and Meg desired to continue. She stalked up to him and sat down in front of him, so he could not avoid her.

"Look, this is going to have to happen sooner or later if anything is going to get done around here! Now, we are going to talk about it, no matter how unpleasant, and just get it over with."

Erik looked up at her, his eyes unreadable. Meg sighed, and looked down.

"I know your heart still belongs to Christine, that I could never live up to her -"

She was cut off from her sentence as Erik caught her lips in a passionate kiss. When they finally parted he had her pinned to the floor, looking her in the eyes intently.

"Then what is this?" He asked, his voice hoarse, "I thought Christine was the love of my life, and now this? I don't know what to think Meg, and I'm disgusted at my mind that it could be so fickle. I don't have a category for what I feel for you Meg, but it is not what I felt for Christine…what I still feel for Christine." He sighed, and slowly got off of her as if it took every effort in the world to do so.

"That is why I cannot have you Meg. You deserve a man who can give you all of his heart…and I still love Christine."

Meg sat up. She caressed his cheek, then let her hand fall with a sigh.

"I know you're continually lost in the maze of your mind. If you ever find your way out…I'll be waiting at the other side."

She forced a smile upon her face.

"Until then, why don't we continue? I still want to learn. You know full well that I will not have a man of my own to support me, or a family to raise. This is all I have now…please give it to me."

An unreadable look passed across Erik's face, then he nodded with a sigh as he got up.

"You should start your leg exercises for today. Then, we can continue."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The house was in complete disarray. Cloths strewn across the floor, bits of food rotting in the corners. The overhead light flickered halfheartedly, the only light in the entire room as the others were all shattered.

It was a complete contrast to her memories. Her father had always demanded a spotless house, one of complete order where everything had it's place. If she had so much as forgotten to put a book back when she was done he would have thrown a fit.

Those books were on the floor now, the paper strewn everywhere as if he had ripped all the pages out in a rage and threw them about. She knelt down and picked up a piece of paper, fingering the colorful design and elegantly scripted words. All the books she had treasured as a child were now mere scraps of paper.

How could he have done this? She folded the piece of paper and put it in her pocket absently as she stood. More importantly…was he here? Was it safe?

Probably not; but it was too late to turn back now. She made her way softly across the floor and almost slipped on something slippery. She looked down to see a trail of blood leading to the bathroom. She ran over there to see her father, hunched over the toilet, his face stained with blood.

"Daddy…?" She whispered. He looked up, saw her, and cursed under his breath.

"Meg…why now?" He gasped, wiping his face off on his sleeve. He sat back against the tub, obviously using every effort just to keep himself conscious.

"I don't know…" She knelt down, keeping her distance from him as if his sickness could spread to her, or that he still had the energy to harm her. There was a silence between them that seemed to stretch on forever, only broken by her father's ragged breathing.

"Why?" They both asked at the same time.

"I don't…I don't know how to help you dad, and neither does mom! And you wouldn't let her help, you wouldn't let her in, I-"

"I didn't want her to get lost…" He muttered, almost to himself.

"Lost? What do you mean?"

"Inside me, can't you see it? It's a maze, didn't you hear your mother?" He laughed.

"Oh yes, I heard her that night, she's quite clever, isn't she?" He tapped his head, and nodded at her knowingly, "She has the key to get in here, did you know that? I couldn't let her in or she would have gotten lost but even though I didn't want her to get hurt I wanted her to help me. She was supposed to not listen to me, supposed to keep trying but she didn't, she just gave up on me…" Her father went into a coughing fit, and when his hands came away from his mouth they were flecked with blood. He looked up at her, his eyes holding a shrewd look that made her insides go cold.

"Meg, you're different, aren't you? I know you are, I know you have to be, because you're like me. You're exactly like me. You understand, don't you?"

Meg shook her head.

"Oh, but you are. You just don't know it yet; you don't want to start the path down the maze. You're at the very edge of it, aren't you?"

Meg thought of the nightmares, the times where she would sit and think…getting lost inside her own thoughts so much that she was startled when she was brought back into the real world. Was she at the edge?

Was she going to turn into…the man she saw before her now?

"No." She said quietly. Her father got up, and wiped his mouth off on his sleeve again. He suddenly seemed much better, and a lot more threatening. Meg got up and backed away.

"Don't even try to deny it, Meg. Now go, for now. I know you will come back." and with that he walked past her and out the door of the house.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meg woke, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Had her father been right? Was she on the edge? Unwilling to walk her own mind's maze?

Then where did that put Erik?

She shook her head with a sigh. To dwell on such things right now would not do her any good.

She had lessons and leg exercises to do for that day, so she would have to put everything from her mind. She was quickly becoming an expert at it, pushing all her thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind. It was the only way that she could keep her concentration on learning.

She opened the curtain and moved her way slowly into the main room. So began another day…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for the long wait! Finals are beginning, so it may get a bit crazy. I'll try to make the next chapter really big and juicy to make up for it ;-). Review :-D poke and prod me to ignore my homework and get that next chapter up ;-)