I just want to point out that I do NOT own the wonderful test I use in this story. There really is a site called www(dot)semeuke(dot)com. I highly recommend you to take the test before reading this (you want to take it afterwards anyway) It's hilarious, honestly! ^^ And I really want to know what results you guys get!! Curious person here!! (See how sneakily I try to get reviews there ;))
It's All about Testing
"Wow! This is brilliant!" Naraku exclaimed loudly as he ran from his room to the living room holding his laptop. "Sesshoumaru, you've got to try this!"
"Whatever it is, I'm sure I won't like it so could you please calm down… I'm trying to work here", Sesshoumaru muttered and tried to find the right reference book from the ever growing pile.
"This'll only take a minute", Naraku said and put the laptop on the table next to Sesshoumaru, who sighed and put the books away. He figured it would be easier to just go along with it. That way he could get Naraku go away a lot faster, and he could continue to do what he was supposed to, work.
"Okay then you weirdo. What is it?"
"Don't be so lethargic, this is absolutely awesome!"
"Yeah yeah…" Sesshoumaru didn't seem to be too interested so Naraku figured that there was only way he could get him as excited as he was, he needed to really explain the pure awesomeness his find possessed.
"I found this test", he announced and opened the laptop.
"Please don't tell me that this is all about some stupid test you found from the Internet? Again?"
"Stop being so bloody pessimistic, I promise this is going to be great."
Sesshoumaru decided that the grin on Naraku's face was absolutely stupid, which could only mean that he had some ideas again, and that was never good. For Sesshoumaru that is. Naraku always enjoyed himself in that state of mind…
"Okay then you big pain in the ass… What exactly do you want me to do?"
Naraku chuckled. "Oh, I think pain in the ass is a very accurate phrase right now, my dearest. This is the thing I found."
Sesshoumaru leaned in closer to look at the laptop's screen. "…the quiz…?" His eyes quickly scanned the site and his frown deepened.
The Quiz
Welcome. By hitsuzen, luck, or forces beyond your control, you have been brought to the realm of the Seme/Uke quiz. *beckons innocents towards the darkness* Come forth and embrace your destiny...
Just remember, we cannot take responsibility for any actions, relationships, bondage, or drunkenness that may occur as a result of the quiz. (So all you Badass Uke ~ it's not our fault that your seme knew exactly what you wanted to do with that rope and turned your plans against you) The quiz is meant for entertainment purposes only. Mmmm... yes...
"What the fuck is this you fruitcake? I do not understand."
"Aah", Naraku sighed, "you really know how to pick the right words, my friend. This is a brillianttest that can tell you if you're a seme or a uke and – more importantly – what type of seme/uke you are! There are many different types!"
Sesshoumaru swallowed the insulting words that were threading to come out of his mouth and gave Naraku just a hard stare instead. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I assure you that I'm not, though I wish you could humor me whit this one. I just want to try if a theory of mine really works as I think it should."
"And you want me to do this silly (and embarrassing) test in order to confirm whatever it is you want to get confirmed?"
"Yup. I got the perfect result and I want to see if yours will be what I think it should. And you really phrase your sentences difficultly…"
Sesshoumaru thought about it for a second (he thought it best to ignored the comment of his way of speaking for now). He had to admit that it might be amusing to go along with it, incredibly uncomfortable no doubt, but amusing nonetheless. At least going through with it would prevent Naraku from whining about it for the next two or three weeks.
"Fine, I'll do it, but first I want to see what kind of result you got. I'm a bit curious to be honest."
Naraku looked absolutely thrilled. "Great! This is what I got. Do you think it suits me?" Naraku chirped enthusiastically and clicked another window open. (Sesshoumaru thought that it sounds weird when a man with such a low voice chirps like a little girl.)
You are a Don't Fuck With Me Seme!
Serious and to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take your intense reactions, which possibly involves rope and sensual torture. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're the only one able to put them in line and satisfy each other.
Most compatible with: Badass Uke
Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke, Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke
"And this is the character description…" Naraku continued and clicked again.
Don't Fuck With Me Seme
Possibly the most easily misunderstood Seme personality - the dark intense eyes of the DFWM Seme silently penetrating deep into your true motives is enough to frighten most away. Only those with a taste for playing with danger, and a craving for sensual punishment, would approach willingly into this fire. Intensely possessive and serious, this Seme is driven by challenge - and the thrill of the hunt, capture, and physical dominance over their partner in their shared game of power and submission. And despite this Seme being silent (unless provoked into anger) and more of a loner, once they've found the right partner - someone who can match their intensity and darkness - they are deeply protective, loyal, and sensual.
Sesshoumaru read through the description and – much to his roommate's delight – actually laughed. "That is…Yeah, it suits you. Especially the sadistic part. Though, I really hope you realize how stupid this is."
"No I don't. There's nothing wrong with it. Now's your turn, mate." Naraku's eyes were gleaming, which never promised good things to Sesshoumaru.
He clicked the test open and read the first question out loud to his reluctant victim.
Do you enjoy licking things?
Sesshoumaru blinked. "Excuse me?"
"You heard. Here are the options…"
And so they went on with the test. As they did it, Naraku noticed how obviously uncomfortable Sesshoumaru was, but at the same time he tried very hard to try and humor the test (and the overly excited Naraku), though he did have a bit hard time when they came to the question: Have you ever tied someone up. He had to admit that yes he had, once, when he saw Naraku passed out on the carpet, he had been the one who tied him up. Naraku was happy that he finally got him to confess that one. It had been bothering him ever since he had woken up hands tied to the coffee table.
Then they came to the last question. "Do you usually find yourself on top or bottom?" Naraku read and readied himself to be punched. However, Sesshoumaru's reaction was not quite what had expected it to be.
The white haired man grinned rather wickedly. "Wanna bet?"
Naraku's eyes widened slightly. "Okay, I think that pretty much answers the question", he muttered slightly off balance and picked the option 'Wanna make a bet and find out? *winks*'
"Ready to see what you got?"
"If it will end this torture…" Sesshoumaru mumbled red faced.
When the result came, Naraku squealed in delight. "I knew it, I knew it!"
You are a Badass Uke!
Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. Despite your sometimes flaming appearance, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges. It takes a seme with enough intensity to challenge you and keep you satisfied, and your perfect match, the Don't Fuck With Me Seme, knows that all that naughty teasing just means you want the punishment.
Most compatible with: Don't Fuck With Me Seme, Chibi Seme
Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Romantic Seme
Naraku clicked open the character description and Sesshoumaru (who was pretty sure he had a momentarily mental illness because he was stupid enough to agree to this) could read it and decide whether it was fitting or not.
Badass Uke
Sensual, rebellious, and intuitive, the Badass Uke can truly be a work of contrasts - an innocent appearance clothed in dark clothing, and a shy smile with eyes that suggest a naughty, darker nature. They are at once easy and hard to approach, as their energy draws people to them, while their intensity and distrust pushes people away... for maybe more than any other personality, the Badass Uke hides away deep in a fantasy world of their own creation, letting few, if any, in. Searching for the one person able to understand their need for something more, someone to protect them and share that mysterious world with them, the Badass Uke can seem lost and wandering, their loneliness sometimes reflecting an inner anger - as they cannot be content until they have been found and claimed, sensually and emotionally.
"You know what, Naraku?" Sesshoumaru started. "I somehow think that we got mixed results…"
"How's that?"
"Well, out of the two of us, you're the one with the energy and the one who lives inside his head."
"Not true. You don't even seem to realize your own potential, but I guess that's part of your attraction."
"What attraction? You're the one with a different partner every night."
"Yeah, but you're the one who attracts people wherever you go, even though you don't want to. And you so do live inside your head, it's not like you allow anyone in, and – let's face it – you're so uke-material."
"Uke-material?"
"Yes."
Sesshoumaru sighed and shook his head. "At least I'm not mischievous."
"Says the person who tied me to a coffee table while I was passed out. You just try very hard to suppress the mischievous part of yourself. I cannot understand why… Besides, I act like a weirdo only around you. No-one else knows that I'm really like this."
"Okay then. I don't really want to argue with you about something this stupid. Can I go now?"
Naraku's expression turned very serious. "Sesshoumaru, I don't think you get the real meaning behind these results."
"And what might that be?" Sesshoumaru gave him a blank stare.
"It means that we, my dearest, are a perfect match!" Naraku exclaimed loudly, obviously very serious.
"And that should interest me why?"
"Because I'm right here and ready to take you, baby!" he said and leaned closer to Sesshoumaru licking his lips.
"Right. I'll keep that in mind. But just so you know, call me 'baby' one more time and I'll rip your balls off and hang them in the chemistry lab as a momentum of your short life."
"You really don't know anything about the right mood, don't ya?" Naraku said with a grim face.
"If it includes me being called 'baby', then no, I don't."
"You're so not fun… Though, I could just force you…" Naraku's right eyebrow rose almost to his hairline and his eyes began to gleam again.
"It's just a test, you idiot", Sesshoumaru tried but totally in vain. Naraku was already doing his tricks.
He put the laptop on the table next to him and with amazingly quick reflexes pushed Sesshoumaru pack on the sofa and straddled him. "So…?" he said licking his lips again. "Shall we?" The smirk on his face grew wider.
The normal reaction Sesshoumaru would have given him would have been to get majorly pissed off, call him names, punch him a couple of times and then leave the room embarrassed. He knew that that is how Naraku expected him to behave, and that's why he also knew that Naraku wasn't really serious when he pushed him down, however, after having to endure Naraku's quirks for so long he had developed a way to counterattack some of them. One way was to completely ignore him but in this case the other way would be better…
"Oh, should we really?" Sesshoumaru murmured voice slightly husky and wrapped his arms around Naraku's neck. He resisted the urge to grin when he saw the dumbstruck expression on Naraku's face. He decided to push a little further.
"I've been thinking about it too. We've been together for so long after all. You can do it if you want…" he whispered into Naraku's ear and gave it a little lick.
Naraku quickly grabbed a hold of his shoulders and pushed him away from him. "Did you hit your head or something?" he asked seriously concerned.
"Of course not, silly", Sesshoumaru chuckled and parted his legs so that Naraku was more comfortably between them. "C'mon now. Take me! Or would you like me to get the rope, first?"
Poor Naraku was positively horrified. "There you go with that mischievousness! How dare you play with my honest feelings?"
"What are you talking about?" he tried to imitate Naraku's I'm-trying-to-look-innocent-and-charming expression. "You don't want me anymore?"
The black haired man opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish for some time before he managed to choke out: "Now that I thought about it…I think I had a date tonight so…umm… Gotta go!"
And so he jumped up and stumbled out of the apartment.
Sesshoumaru waited until he was sure that Naraku was out of hearing range and then fell into fits of uncontrollable laughter he never allowed anyone to hear. He decided that doing something like this every now and then wasn't so bad. Next time Naraku passed out drunk, he would tie up his legs, too.
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Uh, yeah... You probably already guessed that I made my BF do this test...What part of this is what really happened and what is something I came up with, I leave to you imagination ^^
Anyway, I thought this was a perfect way to make a little tension between these too (and I promised my BF that I would write this), but whether it worked or not, well, you're the judges. Oh, and I also thought that it was about time Sesshoumaru gets to win. It's not fair that Naraku always beats him. It's just fun.
~Val