First off, y'all are superstars for consistently reviewing and making me smile, and persevere with this fic. You have no idea how much your input, feedback and overall encouragement motivate me to work THAT much harder on delivering the goods in the best quality I can. Thank you!
Beta Bud is the BESTEST, she read this chapter when she should have been sleeping because she knew if she didn't I wouldn't be able to update until her return the following week. This all moot now because I have been unable to update for almost two weeks, therefore there are a few more chapters in the mix.
KT you rock! If you prefer this site, you'll be pleased to know I'm sure that it's now available here again. Although I did reply to your review on the LOST Diaries too.
Onwards and upwards to the fic, I hope this chapter serves its purpose because it's pivotal in the story. I've worked on it for so long I am no longer sure if it is in character so if you think it isn't or it sucks please let me know, and MEA CULPA!
Chapter 10 – Shattered
She dreamt of herself running in the jungle, the sound of pursuit not too close but near enough to have her breath hitch in fear. Then all of a sudden she was lying on a gurney gasping for breath as she held someone's hand. It had felt like a VW beetle was trying to rip itself out of her body as she pushed with all her might. At one point Kate had screamed in pain and frustration and then something passed between her legs as someone congratulated her. She had turned to look at the owner of the hand that had been supporting her with an exhausted but relieved smile on her face.
"We did it." She whispered.
Kate woke up with a start, sitting up in the bed with a racing heart she gripped her abdomen and looked at it in surprise. Patting it for reassurance she noted she most certainly was not in the process of giving birth. She lay back with a relieved sigh. And her foggy mind went back in an attempt to remember what she had seen in her dreams.
'There is no way you had a baby on that Island… that is just too ridiculous. You would never have forgotten that.' Kate thought to herself.
Grimacing she pushed the covers off her and looked at the now vacant chair James had sat in until she fell asleep. Sighing she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, studying her reflection in the natural light that was seeping through the small window.
She still had shadows under her eyes but they were lighter than they had been the day before. Her face seemed to have regained a little more color but her eyes were still a little bloodshot and her hair looked like it had had better years.
Washing her face with cold water, Kate decided to go downstairs and get herself something to drink.
When she shuffled into the kitchen she was surprised to see James standing at the stove boiling coffee.
"Morning."
"Mornin'." James grunted.
He was wearing blue cotton pajama bottoms and nothing else; Kate's breath caught in her throat as she studied him appreciatively.
Kate gingerly sat down at the kitchen table, she could feel a massive headache bearing down on her mercilessly. She watched with narrowed eyes as James poured the coffee into two mugs. Turning around he approached her and set one down in front of her, before going back to turn off the stove.
Kate lifted the mug of steaming liquid and brought it to her lips, blowing on the surface a little before taking a cautious gulp.
She belatedly brought her hand up to stop the scalding liquid from spewing all over the kitchen table. James guffawed with laughter.
"This is liquid tar." Kate accused.
"This is Texas Peaches, the Sun is merciless an' the world don't wait for nobody. You're gonna need it to face the day." James said, still chuckling as he sipped his drink.
"I don't need to face the day."
"Yeah you do. I've gotta drive in to work today an' you're gonna be enjoyin' Viv's company."
"Alone?"
"You betcha!" James said cheerfully.
The look of horror on Kate's face was priceless and he smirked into his mug as he drained it.
Kate took a deep breath and took another sip of the coffee, making a face she took a bigger sip then cradling the mug in her hands brought her legs up and rested her chin on her knees as she watched James set the table with four plastic bowls.
"You're not going to try and feed them oatmeal again are you?"
"Nah, I thought I'd try fruit today." James replied as he disappeared into the pantry.
When he came back out, he was holding a large platter of freshly cut fruit and he set it on the table. Kate raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to ask him when he'd found the time to slice fruit and de-seed the watermelon at six thirty in the morning.
"Tropical fruit and no kiwi?" Kate teased.
James pointed at the drawing stuck on the kitchen door of a half cut kiwi with a big red cross on it.
"All four munchkins are very allergic to kiwi, would go into anaphylactic shock."
Kate's frowned in surprise.
"Wayne…my…father had the same allergy. It's very rare."
James ran a hand nervously through his hair, "Yeah, pediatrician thinks it might be hereditary."
Kate opened her mouth to ask but was interrupted, much to James' relief.
"Mornin' Papa! Mornin' Kate!" Tristan exclaimed as he ran into the kitchen, still in his pajamas.
"Mornin' son."
"Good morning Tristan."
He climbed onto his father's lap and kissed his father on the cheek before turning to Kate with his dancing green eyes and holding out his arms for Kate to kiss him.
Kate hesitated; unsure of herself she set the mug down and leaned forward to offer her cheek which Tristan kissed happily. She drew back, and picked up her mug again; avoiding James' eyes she sipped her coffee in silence.
James took note of her behavior and turned to his son who was already pulling at the cling film wrapped around the platter.
"Mornin' Papa! Mornin' Kate!" Chimed the triplets as they ran into the kitchen and all started jostling for a foothold in order to get on their father's lap too.
"Alright, careful now, David watch out for your sister!" James warned as he handed Tristan to Kate in order to greet the other children.
Kate set her mug down hurriedly and grabbed the green-eyed little boy who was grinning at her. Kate looked into his eyes that were the exact same shade and shape as her own and found herself smiling back at him as she lowered her legs and sat him on her lap.
The other three kids had all kissed their father and were now pulling at the platter in excitement.
James slammed his hand on the table startling everyone, "Nobody's eatin' nothin' til y'all brush your teeth and wash your faces."
All four children started to whine in protest but one stern look from their father shut them up as the climbed off his lap and headed solemnly back upstairs. Tristan wriggled off Kate's lap and joined his siblings as they started to run in a competition to see who would get upstairs first.
James sighed and looked at Kate with a chagrined smile, "The day's just begun."
Kate chuckled softly, her mind preoccupied with the feelings holding Tristan in her arms had evoked.
One Hour Later
"Are you still sick Kate?" Ali enquired with curiosity as she picked her Mulan backpack, and proceeded to shoulder it.
"Yes. I am." Kate managed.
Her presence during the entire morning ritual of breakfast had been very upsetting for some reason, she couldn't help but feel that the more time she spent around these children the more uncomfortable she felt. To compound her feelings, the boys had gone out into the backyard and picked some flowers, presenting them as a muddy, slightly squashed bouquet to her.
The little girl with the hazel eyes and cute upturned nose approached Kate and put a hand on her leg as she studied Kate's face.
"Yeah, you don't look too good. You should get Papa to let you help him make some cornbread like he does with us." Ali said with a seriousness that was endearing from one so young.
The boys who were running around the kitchen in some sort of game had stopped and were listening attentively to the exchange.
"I-I don't think your father has time for that." Kate said finally.
Her feet were itching like they had been dipped in poison ivy with the need to run.
"Papa! Kate's still sick. You're gonna help her get better right?" Ali demanded of her father who was silently watching mother and daughter.
"Of course I will Shortcake, now get a move on, I hear Viv honkin' out front."
Ali patted Kate's leg reassuringly and gave Kate an encouraging smile, "See! Papa will help you an' you'll feel all better. I promise."
"Yeah Kate, Papa is jeanoowus!" Tristan added from his position by the threshold his brothers had already run through.
"Okay." Kate said at a loss for words.
This seemed to satisfy Ali as she ran up to her father and hugged his legs quickly before she followed in her brothers' footsteps and ran out of the kitchen heading towards the irate honking coming from her great-grandmothers truck.
James shrugged at Kate's retreating back as she left the kitchen too.
He found her on the porch, watching the kids pile into the back of the truck with Mel before they drove off with a wave and a chorus of goodbyes.
Her heart was thudding painfully in her chest as she wondered about her dream last night. Now that she had had more time to think about it she realized it wasn't the first time in the last few years that she had had that dream or something similar. Could it really be a memory? And if it was what had happened to that child? Would he or she have looked like Tristan or Ali? What about David with his freckles? They all had dark hair so technically any one of them could look like the child she may or may not have lost.
"I don't like kids." Kate said at last. She knew James was watching her, doubtlessly confused by her shallow breathing and the tears in her eyes.
"Neither do I." James replied matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, right. They have you wrapped around their little fingers!"
"I said I don't like kids, I never said I don't like mine."
Kate rolled her eyes and after one last look at the settling dust in the driveway turned to face James.
"I don't like kids yet I have this weird feeling that I may have…"
"May have what?" James pressed when Kate didn't finish the sentence.
"Nothing… it's just too crazy. What I suspect is impossible." Kate said with a shake of her head. She brought a hand up to her hair and ran a hand through the tangled tresses.
"What do you suspect?" James pressed forcefully, stepping into her personal space.
"That I may have had a baby when we were on the Island." Kate blurted out; she searched his eyes to see what he thought of that.
"What makes you think that?" James asked softly.
Kate stepped away from him, bringing her arms up she crossed them on her chest as a protective gesture.
"I have these recurring dreams that are kind of nightmares, where I'm giving birth. Weird huh?"
"Just a tad." James quipped.
"When Jack and I were trying to have a baby, we were both checked out and I can tell you that I most definitely never had a baby according to the medical charts. So I guess that just leaves option B; I'm crazy." Kate explained.
James didn't know what to say, it looked to him like the Others had managed to infiltrate every aspect of Kate's life even off the Island.
"I don't know what to say." James said finally.
"I've been sneaking around lately. Using fake ID, paying only in cash, called in sick at work all week. As far as anyone knows I got on a plane to Iowa when I came here." Kate said with a shrug.
"What are you doin' that for?" James asked in surprise.
"I don't know."
"Why are you tellin' me all this?"
"I don't know."
There was a long uncomfortable silence.
Kate cracked a smile; looking up at James furtively she approached him and looked into his troubled blue eyes.
"I feel like we should start making out now."
"Why's that?"
"I don't know… just a random thought." Kate said with a coy shrug. Why were they both pretending; when they both knew she was talking about their first time in the cages.
"How 'bout I teach you how to make cornbread instead?"
"My idea would be more fun." Kate countered.
"Yeah well, this is my show, I still gotta go to work an' I say get in the kitchen woman." James ordered her in mock-seriousness as he steered her towards the house.
A Few Hours Later
Kate had decided to take a nap in an attempt to get rid of her headache. After James had shown her how to make cornbread he had disappeared to shower and dress for work. He had left shortly after and Kate had retreated to her bedroom, falling into a dreamless sleep almost as soon as her head had hit the pillow.
The blare of the trumpet scared her awake like nothing had in years. Jack-knifing up in the bed she rubbed her eyes and squinted blearily at the figure standing by her bed.
"Vivienne!"
The older woman continued to blast the tune of Reveille with a glint in her dark brown eyes. Kate brought her hands up to her head to try and block the sound out, rolling out of the bed and stumbling slightly.
Viv who was wearing; sneakers, jeans, a grey t-shirt and unbuttoned blue and white plaid shirt on top, rolled up her sleeves and finished the bugle call. When she was done she threw the trumpet on the bed and set her hands on hips.
"Well?"
Kate didn't know what to say, bringing her hands down she wiped her already sweating palms down on the pajama bottoms she was wearing.
"Girl, you must have mistaken this for a spa. Laying about and sleeping til noon! Do I look like your fancy doctor boyfriend?
"No ma'am."
"Do I look like that good for nothing surly grandson of mine?"
"No."
"So then we're clear that I ain't going to put up with your nonsense. Get in the shower, I ain't got all day."
With that she threw a towel at Kate and marched out of the bedroom.
Kate stared at the trumpet that was gleaming in her tangled sheets still a little dazed from the bizarre wakeup call.
"I don't hear no water running!" Viv called out from outside the door.
Kate rolled her eyes, and hurried into the bathroom to do as she had been told.
Stepping out of the shower, Kate had found a pair of faded blue jeans, a white tank top and a striped white t-shirt lying on the bed. She didn't hesitate to put the clothes on, afraid the tiny harridan would come barging in and dress her herself if she delayed.
Walking out into the hallway Kate followed the sounds of voices she heard downstairs, pausing to look at the portraits of the children on the wall. She noticed there was a few other faces she didn't recognize; one particularly striking black and white photograph of a petite woman with her hair in soft waves and wearing a poodle skirt as she smiled seductively at the camera. She gasped as she realized it was the elegant feisty 5 foot tall woman with the silver hair downstairs.
Stopping at a group photo of Viv, the four children and Mel sitting on her truck Kate frowned at the image, something about the picture was making her heart thud painfully in her chest. Turning away she hurried down the stairs and into a room she'd never been before; the study.
There were two tall ladders positioned against the wall of leather-bound books and Mel was standing on one of them wearing overalls and red kerchief in her hair. She had a medium sized feather duster in her hand and she was dusting the voluminous leather tomes.
Viv handed Kate a matching duster and raised her eyebrows expectantly as Kate stared mutely at the object.
"Those books ain't going to dust themselves, get cracking!"
With that Viv resumed her seat on a small wooden stool, picking up her glass of iced-tea and taking a sip before she resumed thumbing through a fashion magazine.
Kate looked at Mel who was watching her with interest and shrugging headed for the other ladder. Bracing a foot on the first rung she risked a glance back at Viv who had stopped thumbing through the magazine to watch Kate.
"Now I want you to start on the far left side and work your way across to the middle, you and Mel will work backwards and meet again at the middle, and so forth until you get to the bottom. I want good meticulous dusting here, I have no tolerance for half-assed work." Viv instructed.
Kate did as she was told, wondering what else the domineering woman would have in store for her after they were done. Watching Mel, she followed the teenager's suit and proceeded to dust the top shelf, she had some catching up to do.
"I noticed you got the shakes, and were sweating like a pedophile in a playground. Must've been a serious addiction you're fighting. I'm guessing pills, you don't look like the alcohol type." Viv said breaking the silence.
Kate risked a glance over her shoulder at the older woman, and biting her lip blinked her eyes in agreement, an unspoken question in her eyes. Viv smiled at Kate knowingly; the smile was exactly the same as James'.
"I know a thing or two about pills and liquor, spent a quality two decades in and out of Starlite, Meadows, Promises and Betty Ford. If you feel like you're gonna pass out, make sure you get off that ladder, won't have you breaking your neck on my watch." Viv volunteered.
Kate's eyes widened in surprise, and she quickly turned to continue dusting when Viv gestured for her to get on with her task.
"Should have gotten a discount, seeing as I single-handedly kept those bastards in business." Viv groused.
Kate didn't dare say anything, as she processed the ramifications of this disclosure; she finally understood why James seemed to have turned out the way he had after his parents died. His grandmother had been too busy wrestling her own demons to be any help to him.
"When I was enjoying the dubious hospitality of the Meadows and Betty Ford they used to get us to do some hard manual labor. None of these glorified spas they have nowadays, hmpf. Judging from your manicure I know which one you would be going to… if you weren't so cheap." Viv continued.
Kate turned around with indignation, her green eyes flashing.
"Cheap?"
"Yes, cheap. Coming here and dumping all your problems on us. Getting pampered hand and foot while you make my grandson run after you-"
"I didn't-"
"You leave my table again before I say you can leave and you better make sure you got yourself a getaway horse. I won't have any of your fugitive behaviors exhibited in front of my babies. Contrary to popular opinion, here in the South we're civilized folk and we've got manners."
Kate opened her mouth to try and defend herself but Mel gave her a warning shake of her head.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be… missed a mighty fine chocolate cream pie." Viv sniffed.
The younger women continued with their task for another half hour, when they were done, Vivienne pushed a tray with a pitcher of her homemade iced mint tea and two glasses in their direction. Getting up from her stool she disappeared and returned a few minutes later with two buckets filled with soapy water and a squeegee pole under each armpit. Kate who had been silently studying the portrait pictures of the triplets and Tristan with Vincent that was sitting on the French polished desk; choked on her tea in surprise.
"When you're done these windows girls, I would like the pictures in the parlor dusted, there's a layer of dust that would make my mother-in-law turn in her grave. That doesn't bother me half as much as the racket she makes doing it." Viv ordered.
Kate saw Mel finish her ice tea and pick up a bucket, taking a squeegee pole she marched towards one of the two floor to ceiling windows that occupied one wall. Downing hers equally quickly Kate looked at her manicured hands with a grimace and picked up a bucket and accepting the squeegee Viv thrust at her, went to start on the other window.
An Hour Later
Having finished the windows in the study, Kate and Mel were dusting the pictures in the parlor and Viv was nowhere to be seen. She had gone in to the kitchen, muttering something about making lunch for "Mel and Her Majesty."
"Why aren't you in school today?" Kate whispered at Mel.
The teenager turned to look at Kate and smirked, was that a Ford patent?
"I called in sick." Mel replied with a shrug. She was polishing the picture of Ali in her Native Indian garb.
"Why? You don't look sick to me." Kate whispered.
"Ford was worried you'd keel over an' die alone here with Grandma." Mel volunteered cheerfully.
"Is she always-"
"Am I always what?" Viv demanded as she strode in purposefully.
Mel found the look of fear on Kate's face hysterical, collapsing into a fit of laughter.
"Are you always so scary." Kate said with a courage she was far from feeling.
"Hmpf. I'm nice enough to make you some lunch and you start to get sassy with me." Viv remarked.
Kate shook her head in denial, holding out her hands in order to plead her case.
"Get in the kitchen, food's going to get cold."
Kate didn't waste any time doing as she was told, and she heard Mel gently scold her grandmother as she followed suit.
When they were done eating, Viv shooed them out of the kitchen stating, "Those wooden floors ain't going to polish themselves."
A half hour later as the two women polished the wooden floor in the parlor, Viv who was watching them with an eagle eye and yelling directions every now and then started to sing a song as she inspected the now dust-free photographs on the wall.
Kate didn't recognize it but Mel did and she joined in with her grandmother, lending her beautiful voice to Viv's, the two women sang a Broadway show-tune Kate didn't recognize.
At some point Viv had relieved Mel and was kneeling next to Kate polishing the floor with a strength and vigor that put Kate's to shame. Finally, Kate worked up the courage to ask if they knew the lyrics to "On the Sunny Side of the Street".
"Of course we do. Why?" Viv replied.
"It's a song my Mom used to love; she sang it all the time."
"Never a fan of Judy Garland myself, she lacked spirit." Viv commented but started to sing the song anyway.
When they had finished singing Kate sat up, looking at the gleaming pictures on the wall she started to cry. Mel watched her with a horrified look on her face as with a signal from Viv she resumed her place next to Kate on the floor. Viv got up slowly, careful not to strain her joints too much and stood over Kate with her hands on her hips.
"Wipe those tears Kate, I ain't got time for them."
Kate wiped her eyes frantically, biting her lip as a fresh wave sprang up in her tormented green eyes. A look passed between Mel and Viv as they both noticed how much she reminded them of Tristan when he cried.
"If I wanted to start crying for all the things I've lost or shouldn't have done the entire South would be under water. Stop that this instant, Mel, we're going to leave you here for a while, Kate stand up we're going outside." Viv ordered.
There was no argument as everyone did as they were told. Once they had stepped out onto the back porch, Viv lead the way past the stables and out onto the sprawling land that formed part of the plantation.
Sitting down on the grass, Viv studied Kate's blank and drained face.
"What's your angle girl?"
"Excuse me?"
"What are your intentions? Why are you here? Wouldn't your doctor boyfriend and the people that know and love you in New York be your first port of call if you're in trouble?" Viv asked with genuine curiosity.
Kate smiled bitterly, and feeling a small flicker of anger held on to it, using it as a shield from the pain of Viv's words.
"I'm here because your grandson can help me. I don't know how but he can help me regain the memories I've lost, and because there are no people that love me in New York or anywhere for that matter. If you know about Jack then you know he's not my boyfriend so please stop referring to-"
"You sleep in the same bed with him, live in the same house and have sex with him. He's your boyfriend." Viv interrupted matter-of-factly.
Kate turned when she heard someone approaching and saw it was Mel and Vincentina. The teenager was holding a large quilt; which she spread out and indicated for them to all sit on. The dog licked Kate's hand before she settled on the quilt, attentively watching the three very different women.
"Fine whatever he's my boyfriend. The crash ruined my life and I have to believe that I can get it back." Kate replied in belated response.
"That plane crash was the best damn thing that could have happened to this family. It's a gift and a curse but we Fords only thrive when our freedom of choice to screw up our own damn lives is threatened. Ain't that right Mel?"
"Yes Grandma."
"Mel here gave birth to a stillborn baby at fifteen, thought she'd never recover but here she is. Since my youngest son lost his damn mind and killed his wife and then himself, I've been in and out of rehab for over 20 years."
Kate stared at the two generations of Ford women in shock; she had no idea what to say.
"Point is; your trunk of issues ain't nothin' to write home about. You need a place to come and nurse your wounds; we got a whole lot of space and land for you to do just that. Only thing is we don't allow self-pity and this ain't no free ride, everyone pitches in."
Viv finished off, staring at Kate intently.
Kate nodded almost immediately, too moved by the older woman's gesture to say anything, it was taking every ounce of her willpower not to cry. Viv patted her knee and gesturing to Mel let the teen help her up, leaving Kate there they headed back to the house.
Kate with Vincentina in tow returned to the house wearily trudging up to her room. She needed the industrial strength $100 a bottle hand cream she kept in her handbag to try and repair her destroyed manicure. Going right back down the stairs again she heard James' voice in the kitchen.
"Went home with Clem today, seein' as Mel's here." James was saying to Viv when Kate entered the kitchen.
Viv and James were seated at the kitchen table drinking iced tea while Mel washed her hands in the sink.
"Hi, when did you get back?" Kate asked James tentatively.
She didn't know if Viv and Mel had told him about what had happened earlier and she was unsure how to act.
"Just now. I see Viv's been workin' you hard, parlor floor's mighty shiny." James grinned mischievously.
Kate smiled at this, her eyes falling on Viv's she saw the unspoken confirmation that their conversation earlier hadn't been discussed and she relaxed a little.
"I've got the cracked and peeling hands to show for it, luckily I've got a miracle moisturizer." Kate said with a wave of her hands in his direction.
Setting her handbag on the kitchen table, Kate emptied the contents distractedly as she listened to James and Mel argue about Mel's body lotion again. Setting the pill bottles on the kitchen table, Kate ducked her head in search for the elusive hand cream. She didn't notice Viv arch an eyebrow and pick up the nearest bottle.
"Ain't no wonder you're acting like a crackhead." Viv said with a low whistle as she stood up and read all the bottles.
"I'm sorry?" Kate asked in confusion.
Viv rattled the pill bottles in her hand, "You can call me something of a meds expert… these pills will turn your brain inside out. Do you have trouble remembering things other than what happened on the Island? Blackouts?"
James and Mel stopped talking, waiting with bated breaths for Kate's answer.
"How did you know?"
Viv turned to fix an unyielding glare on James.
"You know someone's been using her brain as a punching bag, boy?"
"What's that?" James was taken aback by the judgment in her tone.
Viv tore her eyes off James and looked at Kate, her brown eyes were spitting fire, "These pills are a very powerful cocktail designed to make sure you never know which way is up let alone go back to normal again."
Kate's face drained of all color as the meaning behind Viv's words sank in.
"Mel get your laptop. How could anyone prescribe you these… together?"
Kate was at a loss for words, looking up at James for help, he approached her, his expression torn. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought anything more of the medication she was taking.
When Mel ran back into the room her laptop already on, she handed it to Viv who setting it on the table gestured for James to enter the different prescriptions online. A few minutes later the pattern that emerged had everybody looking grim.
"Memory loss… anterograde amnesia… confusion… agitation… blackouts." Kate whispered in mounting panic.
James eyes searched her face and he was not disappointed by the emotions displayed there.
She was horrified, even moreso as her mind flashed back to; Juliet pointing a gun at her in the yard. James telling her she would have shot her dead without hesitation, then Juliet asking her to put the woven hood on before she took her to see Jack. She also remembered Juliet pointing a gun at James and how she had run down the beach screaming. The blonde woman she had seen almost daily for a year after the crash, the woman she had trusted was the same woman who had handcuffed herself to Kate and led her to believe they were in the same boat while she hid another agenda.
Viv fixed a disapproving glare on James.
"You not gonna say something, boy?"
James eyed Viv nervously, his temper flaring. He was blindsided by this latest development and wasn't sure how to react.
"What you want me to say? There's nothin' to say."
"I think there's plenty you could say." Viv pushed.
"Leave it Viv." James warned with a growl.
Kate lost in her own swirling thoughts picked up on the undercurrent running between grandmother and grandson and whipped her head around to stare at them.
"Leave what?" Kate asked.
"Nothin'." James muttered.
"I don't think it's nothing. In fact it's very far from nothing. This is wrong and unfair and you know it. These drugs aren't a joke, I can't sanction this." Viv said calmly, there was anger seething underneath the surface and it was clear for everyone to see.
"Stay out of this, Viv." James threatened, his blue eyes flashing dangerously.
Vivienne Lee Ford's face softened sadly; reaching out a hand to her grandson she stroked his tensed right arm gently.
"I am solely to blame that you grew up without parents. After all I introduced Frank Cooper to your mother. It's my fault you are so guarded and so scared." Viv spoke in a brokenhearted tone.
"Shutup Vivienne." James ground out, pulling his arm away.
Kate looked at Mel who was standing by the kitchen sink, an unhappy expression on her face. She had no idea what was going on but something told her this wasn't a small piece of family dirty laundry being aired. Everything was going too fast, with the warning bells ringing in her head she felt a strong of wave of vertigo wash over her.
"I can't stand by and watch everyone suffer like this. Boy you're too closely involved in this to see straight and I never made a promise to anyone not to tell. I owe it to this family to do everything I can to keep it together. Nothing is more important than family." Viv explained determinedly, she looked up at Kate regretfully.
"What's going on?" Kate asked fearfully. She looked to James for an answer but he refused to look up at her, glaring at his grandmother murderously.
"Vivienne, I've never asked you-" James pleaded.
"I'm sorry love this isn't about you. Forgive my grandson; he's as stubborn as I am… the four children you're so uncomfortable around? The ones whose pictures you keep staring at in confusion? They're yours." Viv said, talking over him.
Kate recoiled in shock, she couldn't have heard right, could she? Once again she stared at James expectantly and this time he raised his tortured blue eyes to meet hers. As she looked into the sapphire depths the precipice she'd felt like she had been standing on for the last week crumbled beneath her feet and she hurtled head first into the awaiting chasm. The rare kiwi allergy; the coloring of the children's hair, and its texture, the comment about them being four years old that hadn't made sense, the strange vibe she got off James when she interacted with the children. His reluctance for her to meet them in the first place, her dreams about being in labor, it all fell into place.
James stood up slowly, approaching her as she brought trembling hands up to her head and shook her head in denial. When he placed his hands on her shoulders she shook him off and functioning on auto-pilot ran out the kitchen door and out of the house.
James gave chase, cursing Vivienne and himself for the current mess they were in. The look of betrayal and appalled realization on Kate's face was something he knew he would carry with him to the grave. How had the day gone from good to irreparably bad?
She ran like the devil was chasing her, brushing branches out of her face she left the trees and barn behind, running parallel to the water. Despite the gravity of the situation, James found himself absentmindedly admiring her lithe figure dressed in Mel's clothes as she vaulted over rocks and sparse shrubs that dotted the bank. When she veered to a sharp left and headed for the open field James swore under his breath, if anything she seemed to be gaining steam.
With a burst of speed James launched himself at Kate, tackling her painfully they fell to the ground in a sickening skid through the grass. Kate's palms scraped painfully on the loose rocks underneath and she whipped around beating James' back with her flailing fists.
"GET OFF ME!" Kate screeched.
James ducking from the blows pulled away but kept his legs pressed down on hers to stop her from kicking him. Bracing himself he let her fists pummel his chest and shoulder repeatedly. The sound of her keening wails lacerating his heart.
Kate thought back to the countless therapy sessions where she had unwittingly fraternized with the enemy, all the dinners, sleepovers and vacations she'd had with Juliet, counting the blonde doctor as not only her therapist but her best friend. Then she remembered the first time they had slept together in the cages, the pain and the relief when she had given birth, James leaving her behind in those very same cages at some later date.
Kate screamed and screamed, sobbing her heart out.
"You betrayed me. Everyone always betrays me! You sold me out. You left me with them and they raped my brain! Which means they raped me you sonofabitch!"
James rolled off her and stared at her with trepidation, her words were a condemnation of his choice and he felt powerless under the crushing weight of his guilt and horror. Kate was trembling like a hare caught in headlights but her eyes were ablaze with fury.
"You were right, you haven't changed much. You're still a liar and you're still scum." Kate spat at him.
She was rocking herself slightly, her bloodied hands were gripping her arms painfully as she knelt in the grass.
"I'm still your BabyDaddy four times over, Kate." James said in a shaky voice. Her words had found their mark, clear and true.
"You're nothing. Nothing!" Kate screamed, launching herself at him.
This time he fought her off and they rolled around in the grass as she kicked, scratched, spat at and bit him. Flinging her off him, James staggered to his feet, leaning against a solitary Dogwood tree trunk for support as he watched her warily. She got up and shoved him hard against the tree.
"You're nothing! Do you hear me!?? Nothing!"
"Kate-" James said in a ragged voice.
They were both breathing heavy from the exertion and the bark of the tree wasn't gentle against James' back either. Kate slapped him as hard as she could, bringing her hand up to rake her nails down his cheek, James caught her hand in a bruising grip. His blue eyes were glittering dangerously and he curled his lips back, baring his teeth in warning. Kate felt a small tremor of fear but quashed it as she was pulled inexorably closer.
"Nothing. In your language that means, you ain't shit." Kate said with a snarl.
James drew her up against his chest and leaned down to shut her up; Kate met him halfway, slamming her lips against his brutally. Their tongues clashed like two armies at the launch of an attack, neither one of them gave an inch. She dug her hands in his hair and gripped his hair roughly, tugging at it as leverage to dominate the kiss. James brought his hands up and gripping her shoulders in an unforgiving hold he dragged her closer to him, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Kate moaned into his mouth from the contact, giving him the advantage he was looking for, his tongue slid in past hers and stroked the roof her mouth provocatively. Kate's tongue snaked around his and she sucked on it so forcefully the pleasure was painful. James drew back a little and whispered against her lips.
"I ain't shit without you Baby."
She responded by wrenching away from him but he dragged her back. Balancing on the balls of her feet she relaxed her neck muscles and then head-butted him as hard as she could. James' head rocked back as he hissed in pain. Kate lunged at him, wrapping one arm around his neck and steadying herself with one hand on the tree trunk; she kissed him deeply. James' hands rested on her waist as he steadied them both. Her hands traveled down his torso and she frantically unbuckled his belt then unbuttoned his jeans never breaking the kiss. James responded in kind, unzipping her jeans he pushed them down and leaning against the tree trunk he pulled her up, she wrapped her legs around him. And looking into his eyes held on to her anger as he penetrated her. They both let out a sharp gasp in surprise at the fact that they were both more than ready and at the sensations the initial contact was generating.
They started to move together in furious tandem, neither one of them noticing when they ended up on the grass, they ground and thrust against each other at a furious pace. Much to Kate's frustration, they climaxed together hurtling over the edge of ecstasy.
When the aftershocks of her earth-shattering orgasm had worn off, Kate shoved James off her and pulled her jeans back up; tugging on the zipper she rose unsteadily, using the tree trunk for support. She met his eyes, their blue depths reflecting her own distaste at what had just transpired between them. Dusting herself off she wiped the tears that streaked her face and stood there waiting for him to get up. When he rose, pulling his jeans up and retrieving his belt they walked back to the house together in seething silence.
Kate let the door slam in James' face as she ran into the kitchen, picking up the note waiting for them she read it with a sinking heart. The last thing she wanted right now was to be stuck here alone with him. James walked to the table and sitting down heavily; caught the note that told them Mel and Viv had gone to get the kids and take them out to dinner, when Kate crumpled it into a ball and threw it at him. She ran her hands through her hair and studied her bloodied palms with a curious detachment.
They remained frozen like that for what seemed like a lifetime, and then with a sigh of defeat, Kate sat down at the table across from him. She clasped her raw hands together on the surface and glared at him. The depth of her enmity and distrust knew no limits as she watched him watch her with that dangerous glint in his eye.
James returned her glare with an equal intensity. How could she just sit there as cool as a cucumber after what had just happened out there? How dare she judge him as if she was some kind of Saint?
James cursed volubly under his breath. The gentle camaraderie and natural attraction between them that had been growing into something positive for once, was completely gone.
"Well ain't this just like old times." He said sarcastically.
Kate didn't reply, but it was clear that an ocean of antipathy had opened up between them.
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