Armin laughs because trusting Annie is the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard of and it hurts.
"Have you figured it out?" she asks.
"Not entirely," he says because there is no point in his lying yet.
"What do you know?"
"Either the school or the army is real. The riddle is to figure out which one, and I assume that there is a penalty if I am wrong. Probably everyone dies because that would make utter sense for my life thus far," Armin says. He feels like he's coming unhinged.
"Almost. Both are real. But they shouldn't be. That's a little bit your fault. You should have died a long time ago," Annie says and there is no emotion in her voice.
"In the earthquake or the attack?" Armin asks.
"Either one."
Armin wants to go home. He desperately hopes he wakes up in bed and not on the battlefield. This is too much for him and he hates her a little bit for it. The girl in front of him with the pretty hair and the clever mind wavers into a monster and back again and a thought strikes him and he feels ill.
"Eren. He's like you," Armin says.
"Yes. He's one of a few. If you haven't figured out the others, I won't tell you. I don't know if they know what they are and it's best if they don't," she says and her voices waivers just ever so slightly.
"What are you?"
"Nothing. Well, barely anything. I'm a monster, but you saw that. I'm a girl who grew up outside the walls and fought with you in Trost. I'm a military brat who wants to be a ballerina. Whatever I am, you like me. We're almost the same, right? We want-"
"How did you get Marco's gear?" Armin asks because he is so tired of hearing her speak.
She looks small again. He almost feels bad, but doesn't. He isn't sure what she is, but she isn't human. And neither is Eren, but he cannot think about that. He refuses to because Eren is different than she is. He saved him from the titan and he promised to go to the beach with him and he is his family.
"I don't want to talk about it," she says and the girl he wishes she were shines through.
"I thought you were a good person," he says softly.
"You were wrong," she says and the bitterness in her voice betrays her feelings.
"I still don't know what you are."
"Don't ask me to explain. I can't. It's a part of the game."
"I don't want to play." "Too bad. You're all playing. Jean, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Reinter, Bertoldt, Krista, Ymir, M-Marco, everyone. Even your teachers or commanders or whatever you want to call them."
"Then what are the rules?"
"Defeat him and win."
"Him?"
"Yes."
"Well that's vague."
"I can't help you," she says and I sounds like she is sorry.
"If I win?"
"You choose the reality. Everything goes back to normal and you can all go back to your lives."
"And Eren?"
"What about him?"
"He's like you, isn't he? What happens to him?" Armin asks, making his voice strong.
"He doesn't know. He's safe," Annie asks.
"And if I lose?"
"You were right. Everyone dies."
"Why?"
"He likes playing games and thinks he's smarter than everyone. You were a decent opponent as a boy. It's part of the reason you didn't die. He wanted to go against you when you were older."
"Why can't I remember?" Armin asks.
"Because then you'd be a real threat to him," Annie says. Her voice is low and angry.
"And the only rules are you can't help me and I have to defeat him?" Annie nods. She is wavering. Sometimes, she is the monster, sometimes she wears her uniform, sometimes she wears her leotard.
"What happens to Eren if he finds out?"
"Nothing good. It's best the other ones don't know. It's better this way. They're still human."
"If I win, what happens to you?"
"Please let me stay," she says softly and she's suddenly so honest it makes the world, if they were in a world and not a void, spin.
"Why?" he asks and he means it. He is tired of this. He wants to sleep, he wants to wake up, he wants his mother.
"I like these worlds. I like cats. I like ballet. I like apples. I like snow. I like books. I like debate. I like driving. I like you. So don't lose," she says and she is suddenly very close to him. He doesn't say anything because there isn't anything he can say.
"I shouldn't…I shouldn't be helping you even this much. You just figured everything out."
Her hand his on his arm and he can feel her cool skin through his jacket and cloak and shirt and he hates that he wants to help her. He knows he will. It bothers him. But just because the world is a terrible place it doesn't mean that there can't be good in the bad. It doesn't mean that she can't be redeemed.
"Don't look at me like that," she says so quietly he doesn't quite know what she's talking about.
"Annie?" he says quietly.
"Look for what doesn't belong."
And then she kisses him and he might be kissing her back, but he can't be sure because the world is dissolving again and she is gone. He hopes wakes up in a bed and not on a battlefield.
He is in his bed and that is a relief. Mikasa and Eren are talking on the bed opposite him staring at him like they're afraid. He doesn't blame them. He gasped to consciousness and he is sitting up and his heart is pounding. Everything is clearer. He thinks he isn't afraid to sleep and hopes he remembers this in the other world, where they are almost certainly doomed.
"Armin?" Eren asks.
Armin opens his mouth to speak and then closes it again. He looks at Eren, half expecting him to turn monstrous, but he doesn't.
"You're back," he finally says.
"Yeah. This morning. Levi excused us from all our classes. Are you okay?"
Armin nods and then it hits him. Eren's not wearing his casts. He really is just like Annie.
"What happened to your casts?" Armin asks.
"Got them off. Mikasa told me about your dreams. I want to help too," Eren says.
"Broken bones take over a month to heal," Armin says staring at him.
"I heal quick," Eren shrugs.
"We have a few hours before lunch. We should go to the library."
"No. Wait. I need…I need a second. I should shower. I didn't do my history," Armin says. He feels a bit like he's drowning.
"Just turn in your eighth draft. You'll get an A."
"Are we going to tell the others?" Mikasa asks.
Armin nods and then shakes his head. He finds he needs to talk to Mikasa alone, but knows he can't. Eren will be suspicious and telling her what Eren is will just upset her. He rubs his eyes until stars burst behind his lids.
"Did you dream?" Mikasa asks.
"Yes. But…I don't…" Armin starts. And then stops. It all feels like its crashing down on him and he doesn't know if he can breathe properly.
"What happened?" Eren asks and he is all determination and it breaks Armin's heart that he doesn't know what he is.
"A lot. I know what's going on now. It's a game. Annie said-"
"Who?" Eren asks at the same time Mikasa makes an annoyed noise in the back of her throat.
Armin freezes. He looks at Eren, who's face is clouded with confusion. Mikasa is staring at him too.
"Annie. She's in all my classes. She's…you know her," Armin says and he wonders if maybe this is just a very realistic yet utterly normal dream.
"She's small and blonde. She's smart," Mikasa adds.
"Do you mean Krista?" Eren asks.
"No. They're nothing alike," Mikasa says.
Eren looks at Armin, pleading with him to explain, but Armin can't. He just knows something is massively, massively wrong.
"Eren?" he asks softly, pleading with him just to be joking. He knows he's not.
"I don't who you're talking about," Eren says.
Mikasa is looking at him like he's on his deathbed and Eren looks terrified. He can't know is the only thing that flashes through his mind. Armin lets out a small laugh and arranges his features into something more normal. He shakes his head and puts a hand to his forehead, slumping forward in the picture of exhaustion he doesn't feel. If anything, he can feel the tension in the room getting worse, but that's okay. He knows what he's doing.
"Sorry. I'm still…she's in the dream world."
"What?" Mikasa asks softly.
"Oh," Eren says, not quite relieved.
"I think I'll take my shower now. Then we can go grab lunch," Armin says like everything is okay.
He gathers his shower stuff in silence. The others are silent too. Mikasa shoots him confused looks and Eren looks out the window, trying to piece it all together. When he is in the hall, he pulls out his phone and sends Mikasa a quick text.
"Don't say anything. Explain later."
"OK" is sent back a few seconds later.
He can't help but let the relief wash over him. He checks his phone for Annie's number, but doesn't find it. His heart sinks. When he shuts his eyes, he can hear hoof beats and feel Annie's hand on his arm.
He tries to plan as he showers and dresses, but all he can think of is what happens if he loses. Eren will be fine, but he and Mikasa will be gone. And he can't let that happen. The three of them are supposed to be old together. They are supposed to live their lives within five miles of each other and be in each other's weddings and know each other's kids and sit in rocking chairs on some porch together when they're too old to do anything else and remember now. He sighs. He tries to imagine a life without it and finds that he doesn't think that that life is worth living.
By the time he rejoins them, he has at least the beginning of a plan. Mikasa still looks worried and Eren still looks confused, but he wears a smile and acts like they're all okay. Like Eren's arm and leg healing so quickly is normal and that not remembering Annie is fine.
They go to afternoon classes at Armin's insistence. All his teachers skip Annie's name like she never existed. He watches as Mina, her roommate and best friend, talks with some girl he doesn't really know. Annie's existence has been so perfectly erased it feels likes some sort of joke the universe is playing on him. He has been the butt of many jokes in his life, but this one is the worst by far.
Night finally falls and he is finally able to get Mikasa alone. Eren has a lot of catching up to do and Armin fakes business, forcing him to ask Krista for help catching up in English. When Mikasa joins them at their normal study table, he pulls out his math book.
"Didn't you want me to help you with chapter 10?" he asks, hoping she will catch on.
"Yes, I did," she says and he breathes a sigh of relief. It's perfect.
No one will bother them if they think he's tutoring Mikasa. Eren will be stuck discussing Crime and Punishment with Krista for a very long time as she is by far the most vocal in class. They can finally talk.
"What's going on?" Mikasa asks quietly as Armin doodles math problems on a piece of scratch paper.
"You can't tell Eren," Armin replies.
"Why?"
"Something bad might happen if you do."
"To Eren?"
"Yes but I don't know what exactly. Please. Just trust me," Armin sighs.
"I do," Miaksa replies.
She is quiet as Armin tells her about the void and Annie and everything else. Her eyes betray everything, though. He can always tell what she's thinking. Sometimes he thinks he knows her too well. Of course, it doesn't help that she's always been a terrible liar. Not Armin, though. He thinks he can lie as easily as breathing and it bothers him.
"So he and Annie are the same?" Mikasa says when Armin finishes.
"Yes. I-I think so," Armin says and he can't look at her.
"I won't tell him. We'll save him and everyone else," Mikasa says like it is that simple.
"Mikasa-"
"We have to tell everyone," Mikasa says firmly.
"No," Armin says.
"This involves everyone and you can't keep it from them. Especially after Marco," Mikasa says.
"I know. I just…we can't tell them about Eren. I don't know how they'd react and Annie hinted that there might be others," Armin says.
"I agree," Mikasa says.
"You need to tell him everything else."
"I will."
"Good. I don't like lying to him," Mikasa says.
"I don't either."
They work in silence until it's time for curfew. When they get back to their room, Armin tells Eren almost everything. He listens quietly, but he can see worry painted on his face. Thankfully, he doesn't seem to think Armin is hiding anything.
"Well, guess we just have to beat whatever this thing is," Eren says.
"I don't see what else we can do," Armin replies.
"If he hurts you or Mikasa or anyone else, I'll kill him."
"I don't doubt it," Armin says, studying his best friend.
Eren has always been prone to saying things like that. He threatened to kill half the kids who used to pick on Armin when they were kids. But this time, he thinks he actually means it.
"You need to sleep. Annie's probably in the other world and you should definitely talk to her," Eren says.
"Yes. I know," Armin sighs.
"Good night," Eren says and turns off the light.
"Good night," Armin responds.
They are going back through the gates triumphant. His squad leader is next to him, congratulating him on a first mission well done. He can hear Hange ahead of him chatting animatedly to an uninterested Levi about her newest breakthrough with Sawney and Bean. Armin's mind starts working overtime and then his stomach drops. No female titan. Sawney and Bean are still alive. Annie isn't here.
Author's Note:
Hope you guys all enjoyed that! We're entering the last third of the story (I'm like 80% sure). I also just had a few plot realizations and had to rewrite this and my backlog chapters, which was a thing. Thanks to all followers, favoriters and for the kind reviews! You guys are the very best!