I've updated again before February? Whaaaat?

I was confused and tired and lethargic all at once. I don't know how much longer I can keep him away... I'm... afraid... I'm losing power, control... I can only hold him off for so long, and sustain this... massive blizzard the whole time... what am I supposed to do?

No one can help me now, no one can save me and it feels like I'm drowning in my own personal hell. I hate it. I hate it so, so much, but there's nothing I can do; nothing, nothing, nothing... I'm helpless... Completely helpless!

He's whispering, whispering in my ear, in my head, in my mind - hewontgoawaymakehimstopMAKEITSTOP! - and it won't end, it won't end... I can't let go, I can't leave, I can't hide and pretend like this isn't happening because I'm right damn in the middle of it... there's... nothing...

What did I ever think I was doing? What did I ever think Jack Frost would've amounted to? I should've left earlier, I should've... hidden better, I should've never let Sandy find me, I... I-I...

I should've never left...

They... what would they have said? What would they have... told me if I gave them my reason for why I couldn't be a guardian? What if I just... had told them I didn't want to be one?

I put myself in these situations. I make the worst choices and then find myself waist deep in the result. I put myself here, in the middle of nowhere, all by myself with nothing but the cold and a roaring blizzard to keep me company.

I've nothing to run to.. this is all that will ever await me... What do I think I'm doing? What did I ever think I was doing?

I try to occupy my thoughts. Keep my mind busy, away from loneliness, my tired brain, and aching body. Think of Sandy's golden dreams, golden tendrils, swirling around and bringing things of beauty and peace. The dolphins were always my favorite, I think. Soon I'll be able to go see dolphins again, right? Soon, soon... Soon... He is so kind... kinder than what my frozen heart and I can bring...

I think of Bunny's eggs; his little 'googies'. The care he puts into each stroke of his brush, each more lovely than the last; inspiring hope as his title states. Ever busy, ever striving to do better than the last. We fight, quarrel, whatever you'd like to call it, yet I admire him. His is more than I'll ever be, ever be, ever be.

I think of Tooth and her hard working fairies. Never tiring of their endless job; bright eyed and beautiful, glimmering feathers, protecting the memories of everyone and everything they ever worked to care for, take care of. So thoughtful and generous, everyone's needs before her own, everyone's wants before her own. Baby Tooth likes to come by and tell me stories. I wonder if she has anything new to tell me about.

I think of North, his yetis, and his elves, the toys they make, his ice sculptures; his sleigh and his passion. Every day he prepares, and he prepares, until one day a year when everything goes forward. Everyone... gets toys, every is re-instilled with wonder and joy. He loves his work, I know that. He loves it, more than almost anything. It was what he was made into a spirit for.

His voice nags at my mind.

Let me out... Please, let me give them what they deserve... they've done so much to you... let me make them pay, give them what they deserve... just a bit of rest... Jack, let us rest...

But I can't... I don't want them to die, end up like the statues that I sit alongside... Stop...

Please...

Save me, please... I'm tired... I don't want this...

Stop him...

Stop me...

heh, I think I might actually finish this story. In all honesty, this is starting to actually near the end and I'm kind of proud of myself :~3