Hi you guys, it's been super long I know and I'm sorry. Here is another chapter. A little smut but more plot development. I know I know next chaper will be another smut fest I promise but we are nearing the end and I finally have it all pictured in my head so it should go farely smoothly from here. I should say expect weekly to midweekly updates on this fic and another four/five chapters left to come. Enjoy.

Last time:

As I started a frantic pace deep reaching deep within her and flicking my own clit before sliding two fingers into my core. It didn't take long before the both of us were coming again and again. As we slumped against each other. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and sighed happily.

"I love you Rachel."

The words just tumbled out of my mouth in bliss and it wasn't until she ripped herself out of my arms and off the desk that I realized what I had said. Damn it, couldn't I ever keep my mouth shut?

I sighed and rubbed my forehead in frustration. Here it was gonna come, the steadfast denial. I looked up and my eyes were caught in tired, drowning chocolate browns. I could even see some moisture that gave them a slight glazed look. I reached my arm out, ready to take it all back but she held up her hand and motioned for me to be quiet. I saw her look away and swallow once, twice before she looked back up at me. Instead of the cold look I was expecting I was met with a striking vulnerability that broke something deep down inside me just by looking at it.

"I'm not going to pretend you didn't just say that. But for the love of god Quinn"

I looked down ashamed, mentally scolding myself.

"What are we doing?"

It seemed the question was more directed towards herself than towards me. Sure I knew what I was doing. I was fucking the teacher I'd crushed on since I saw her four years ago in my freshman year. I was stupid to do so of course, knowing that if a simple crush wouldn't fade in four years than being intimate with her, making love to her – even if I never was allowed to call it that – would just serve to deepen those emotions. Wasn't there some fact about the ore you sleep with someone the intense your feelings for this person get? It was an article about how it always ruined the friends with benefits thing. Well in this case we weren't even friends but it sure looked like it was ruining this, whatever this was.

"I mean it's not a secret that you love me, I mean I'm not stupid that I can't see it. I saw it as soon as you handed me that blue shirt with the white dots on it. It was already starting back then. I mean before we – well we engaged in intimate activities, I could just ignore it. I could pretend I had no idea that my student was crushing on me."

I looked up surprised at her choice of words. She was basically confronting me, us about what we were doing? She wasn't even denying the fact that I loved her didn't try and convince me it was a misplaced crush. For once she wasn't acting like the Miss Berry I'd come to see these last weeks. She didn't act cold, didn't evade anything that could be considered affectionate nor did she shut me up each time I tried to get her to talk about this, about feelings. What brought this on?

"But as time passed I became intrigued with you. You were a class A bitch in the hallways, tormented the losers and flew straight under the command of Sue Sylvester. You were already second in command after a mere three months on the team, something no one had done before you. And Sue raved about you so much in the common room. But then I would catch a glimpse of a much calmer, warmer Quinn Fabray that I had found sitting in my class. Someone with a great level of understanding and even liberal views, even if they were masked by a faked indifference. Your comments and your interest in my class and the behavior I saw whenever Brittany was involved just didn't add up with what Coach said about you. So I decided not to bother with the general view that population in the school had of you. I focused my energy towards finding that other, softer side of you and trying to keep you involved as much as I could in my class."

I smiled softly at her confession as the light blush on her cheeks gave away the emotional exposure she was portraying with this particular conversation. I wished I could squeeze her hands in appreciation but alas she was standing too far away to do so.

"And then sophomore year came around and you – you were pregnant. Oh how my heart broke for you. It absolutely shattered. To hear from Finn that you'd been kicked out of your own home and then that young sir Puckerman, Noah Puckerman was the father I just assumed the worst like everybody else and I still until this very day, feel so ashamed for that. Because I should've known you would be much stronger, much more determined to do what was right rather than what you wanted. I should've already learned that much after your first year here but I didn't. Can't say I'm not glad you didn't give up on school. But I am, so sorry that you had to go through – well everything that year. I can't imagine how that must've affected you. Losing so much in such short notice. Thank god I managed to talk some sense into Mister Puckerman. The poor guy didn't realize he didn't have to end up a dead beat father like his had. At least he always wanted to own up to his responsibility as a father but I'm glad you didn't place the burden of raising her on both of your shoulders. In the end, you made the right call but still. It shouldn't have surprised me."

I chuckled sadly, wrapping my arms around myself. From what I was protecting myself I didn't know, maybe I wasn't even protecting myself. Maybe I just needed to be held. Suddenly I wanted her arms around me, soothing away my fears and my scars. What a mess I am.

"You sure have a lot of faith in me Rachel."

She smiled with quivering lips as she nodded affirmatively.

"Well if I don't who will? Because you certainly don't give yourself enough credit. And you don't let Santana or Brittany pay you the compliments I at least get to say. Why Quinn?"

I squeezed my hands into fists. If she could open up, so could I. I took a deep breath and fixed my stare on my lap.

"I've never really been enough. Not for him or her. It just stuck with me I guess. Be more like Frannie they said. It's what they always said. They paid my aesthetic surgery when I was fourteen. So I could look more like Frannie. They shipped me off to dance class so I could walk more gracefully like Frannie. They put me on a diet worse than Sue's so I would be skinny just like Frannie. And the worst part? I wanted to be just like Frannie. I went from being myself, a little chubby book nerd, and a little accepted by my family – not that they were ever really proud but yeah – to another carbon copy of Frannie. I was no longer myself but my family looked at me like I mattered, like I did something right even if it was practically erasing my existence. Only to get tossed out when I finally slipped up, when I did make an honest mistake. But I got Beth out of it. And to her I was enough, I was more than enough. And I had to give her away, the only person who would have loved me unconditionally and I had to hand her over and I - .."

I felt the tears gather in the corner of my eyes and wiped them away immediately. Rachel suddenly stood before me, I hadn't noticed she'd gotten closer to me as I was talking, since my eyes had been focusing on the clenching of my fists in my lap as I sat up straight on the desk. Her hand closed around my chin, tilting my head up a little so I could meet her eyes. They shone with worry, compassion and something I would've called love but who was I to talk about that? All I'd ever seen it was the way Britt and San looked at each other. That was pretty much the only times I'd seen something akin to love. And when they looked at me though it was different. But what I didn't see was what I always saw in everyone else's eyes, pity. She didn't pity me.

"You don't pity me."

She looked taken aback but cupped my cheeks with both her hands, her eyes softening even more and I could feel myself swimming in those pools of dark brown.

"Why would I? You're so strong Quinn. You're smart and funny and loyal. You have been through hell and back I'm sure but you battled through it. You're actually winning the war. You've got this bright future ahead of you and at the very least two real friends out there waiting to experience it all with you. There's also the bond you now have with Noah and this beautiful child that's out there somewhere being raised and loved all thanks to your selflessness. That's more than a lot of people can say don't you think? You're a fighter Quinn and those don't need pity but they deserve sympathy, understanding."

I smiled at her words as my heart swelled. I pushed up and let my lips press against hers. They were so soft, so full. I could just do this forever. Slowly our lips slid along one another. We sighed simultaneously. As she pulled back her eyes grew sad and tired again and I wanted nothing more than to wipe that expression off her face.

"Do you see now why I don't want to tie you to me? Do you see why I can't allow you to give that all up for me? You've worked too hard for this; I worked too hard for this to let you give it all up for a mediocre future when you could achieve so much more."

I nodded, I did understand but that didn't make this any easier. I loved her; I wanted to be with her and my bright future at Yale well it didn't look half as appealing anymore. It wasn't as if suddenly my dreams and hopes had changed, no of curse not but I could notice slight changes and tweaks being made. More details and other paths being laid before me. It was something that had been creeping up on me over the years. Like my love for her did.

"But that still doesn't mean I'm giving up on us Rachel. I love you and I will make you see that you love me too. This will work out. We can do the long distance thing if you're really so adamant about me leaving Ohio to go to college. We can make this all work. We just need to be patient and careful that's all."

As she kissed me again, deeply and prying open my mouth with her tongue I thought maybe I had finally gotten through to her. This was probably one of the most honest conversations we ever had. This could be the game changer.

"Oh Quinn, I would love that I swear."

I felt my heart sore again.

"But I want you to grow, to experience it all without being tied to anything from your past. That includes me Quinn. I do hope you don't think of me as a bad thing that happened here but I do know that you can't drag anchors from your past with you into this new future. So when it comes to the end, when it really comes to the point where you are leaving for college I am going to let go Quinn and I need you to do the same."

I shook my head in the negative, kissing her on the lips and moving to her neck again, mumbling against her skin.

"No can do Rachel."

I felt her hand worm its way into my hair as she gripped it tighter, keeping my head in place on her neck, right on her pulse point. Her weak spot.

"Please Quinn."

Well it was way too early to be begging for release again but I pretended like that was what she was asking for, trying to get away from it and not giving in to her demand. It was the one thing I knew I x-would never be able to agree to.

"Already there Rachel? I knew you recovered quickly but even I have to admit my skills aren't that good."

I heard her growl above me and bit down, eliciting a harsh gasp instead. Now that was a sound more to my pleasing. I slipped my other hand over her breast, squeezing and massaging it when all of a sudden a sound broke us out of our little peaceful bubble. The phone ringing certainly wasn't mine; I had turned it off like detention rules required so I knew it was hers. I felt her groan above me when I pulled back. She immediately pushed me back to her collarbone.

"Ignore it."

And so we did as I started sucking on her flesh again, loving the salty taste in my mouth. I tweaked her nipple and pushed my knee against her sex, feeling the wetness already gathering there again. It left a wet trail but I didn't care. I admired my mark and move my lips over to her other breast, sucking on the nipple till it was nearly raw. I switched breasts again and felt her grind on my knee, her heat radiating on my flesh. Hmm, round three here we come. But then it rang again. She sighed in frustration and released her grip on my hair before stepping away to take the call. As she rummaged through her handbag I smiled at the cute way she huffed and puffed when she couldn't find it immediately. For someone so organized her purse sure was a right mess. When she finally picked it up her face formed a frown and I could see her hesitate to take the call. When the sound finally died it was followed by a ping. She held the device in her hand but made no move to check the message. That was weird. When the phone rang again she just pushed the red button and walked back over to me, smiling a little forced before she pushed me down on the desk again. Her hands moving to my breasts, squeezing immediately as she tweaked the nipple, rolling it between her fingers. I moaned and wriggled but didn't allow her to distract me.

"Who was it?"

She shook her head and went to wrap her mouth around my breasts but I pushed her away.

"Doesn't matter."

I sighed and let her crawl on top of me again, loving the feel of her body against mine as she ground her pelvis on mine, electric shots shooting through my body at once. Shit, she was so good at this. But I was better. I bucked my hips up but kept my focus on the words forming in my head.

"Who was it Rachel? Your dads?"

That was another thing that everyone in Lima knew. Rachel Berry was the daughter of two dads. It had caused enough protests and controversy in the town but in the end everyone just had to accept that they weren't going anywhere. The hate crimes had lessened and Rachel even felt comfortable enough to come back from New York and live here, in her hometown close to her family.

Why she really came back though no one knew. Everyone assumed she'd be a singer of some sorts but instead she came back t-with a teacher's degree, claiming she had a change of heart. She sucked on my neck before she tore herself away sighing, not stopping with the grinding she was doing and I encouraged her with my own hips. But I knew we needed more than grinding, we needed pressure, we needed fingers' but first I wanted answers.

"No they know I'm doing late detentions. Now shut up and let me kiss you!"

I moved my face away from her lips again and I felt her groan against my cheek. I smiled wickedly.

"Quinn..."

I shook my head again, avoiding her pouty lips. My hands came to rest on her ass however giving it a squeeze as I playfully smirked at her. It only encouraged her to grind harder. Twisting her hands in my short pink locks as she tugged. Hmm, fuck she better start answering quick. I could feel the coiling feeling in my stomach building again, needing release.

"Tell me who was calling you Rachel?"

She just sighed and sat up more, staring right in my eyes and stopped the grinding. I bit had on my lip to keep the whine in my mouth as my core throbbed painfully.

"Fine. Just – promise you'll hear me out okay?"

I bucked my hips up playfully, trying to get her to grind on me again.

"Sure sure just make it short – I kinda have this sexy brunette in my lap that I'd really like to fuck now."

She smiled and then scolded me for my crude choice of words but she couldn't deny the way her pupils dilated just a bit more, clearly my use of profanities worked well for her and she started grinding again, picking up speed quicker as it awakened the coiling feeling right away. Her eyes were dilated, her breath came in shorter pants and her skin was flushed. She looked beautiful on top of me as she tried to get the words out, obviously feeling every sensation I was feeling at the moment. Soon enough we'd be bringing each other to the brink again.

"It was..."

The sound of heavy footsteps boomed in the hallway as I heard the loud complaints from the janitor, like a warning sign.

"The school is closed."

His voice was pretty loud, he must be warning us. I looked at the frightened look on Rachel's face. She stilled the rolling of her hips and again I groaned in frustration. Dammit I wanted that third orgasm.

"No it's not I know she's here, I uh just talked to her dads Pierre."

"It's Peter Mr. Hudson. And yes she's still in detention class with a student. It's been a rough night on both of them and she needed to have some time alone so she could try and salvage this student's future now I suggest you just go back to your car and wait there Mr. Hudson."

Hearing Peter talk I could hear them coming closer and closer, the janitor knew what happened here after hours I mean we were quite loud but the first time he saw us leaving he had just made a motion that his lips were sealed and so far it had been. That of course had prompted another scolding from Rachel about how we needed to be more careful. But the sound of that name had me in overdrive. Shit a teacher was on the school grounds. Fuck this wasn't good. Now we'd never finish this round. I groaned and threw an arm over my eyes. I knew I was being a horny teenager but right now I wanted nothing more than for him to just go away so she could answer my question and we'd go back to fucking the hell out of each other.

As Rachel moved away from me in a haste to get dressed again I finally came to my senses and jumped off the desk as well, trying to find my clothes that had been spread all over the room. Dammit why didn't we notice where we threw our clothes? Shit, shit.

"No I wanna talk to her now. This student has been taking up so much of her time I barely have had the chance to talk to her and I'm done now. I wanna take her out without being interrupted again or her needing to be somewhere."

I stilled my movements as the words registered. Rachel threw me a cautious glance and the desperation in her eyes reminded me of a bad, really bad premonition.

"Please Quinn, remember what I asked you? Let me explain please?"

But the sting was already growing, the pin rippling through my chest. Damn it, was all we just talked about a fluke? Was I really no more than a quick fuck? A way to get her kicks? But I shook my head knowing that wasn't true no matter how much I wanted to believe that. So I pulled my back pack towards me and plopped down on a chair, watching as Rachel scribbled things about acting classes, Yale and Hollywood on the board. As she tried to find a place to store her soaked undies.

"Just put them in my bag."

I kicked my bag towards her, ignoring her pleading gaze.

"Thank you Quinn."

I just scoffed as she placed the bag pack on the desk we just fucked. But it was clean already and I watched the bucket of water standing next to the chair I smiled, wow she was fast. But then the oaf of a teacher's booming voice bounced off the door and I scowled again.

"Well at the very least knock then Mr. Hudson. That's the polite thing to do."

I heard Peter walk away and awaited the knock. Shit the door! It was probably still locked. I saw the panicked look on Rachel's face before she quickly strode towards the door and unlocking it before opening it. I saw the oaf standing there in a t-shirt and jeans, a stupid tiny bouquet from the local supermarket in his hands. What a dick, he could've at least gone to the flower shop and ordered some lilies. She loved those.

"Oh Hi – Uhm wow I was just about to knock actually."

He looked sheepish before flashing her dopey grin, it might have looked cute or something but I could tell Rachel wasn't impressed with it. That certainly lifted my spirits.

"Yes Finn I heard. Now what are you doing here?"

He smiled and pushed the flowers against her chest before pushing past her and in the room.

"Well I called but you didn't answer and I was – Hi Quinn."

I smiled politely at him and nodded my head.

"Mr. Hudson."

He scratched his head for a minute and then turned towards Rachel again who was leaning against the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. Shit she was on the defensive already. I hoped that by the time she got the oaf to leave, her mood wouldn't be completely sour.

"Well Finn?"

He smiled again and moved towards her grabbing her hands. The sight of his giant hands crushing hers made me sick.

"I wanted to take you out to dinner Rachel. You said 'rain check' but we haven't been out since then and I just wanted to surprise you. So I brought flowers and I made a reservation at Breadstix."

I snorted at that. God, he was so stupid.

"Finn, can't you see I'm in the middle of something important here?"

He shook his head and motioned towards me with a lazy gesture and I blushed at the words she used. Yeah it was pretty important to bang your student's brains out.

"Oh come on Rach, you're already staying behind so many times a week surely she can go home now? You gotta stop being so hard on that kid. I know you want the best for your students but sometimes you gotta know when you've reached the limit y'know? If she wants to throw her life away than that's her choice. She's not your responsibility."

I could tell he just made the wrong call as her face darkened with anger. But surprisingly she turned toward sum and softened her gaze.

"Quinn, pack your bags and go to my car okay? I'll be there shortly. Finn's right, I've pushed you enough for the evening."

Confused as I was I did what she told me to do and went to get my back pack blushing at her choice of words once again. Trying to hold back my smile as I could see she missed a spot on the side of the desk. The white stain was funny enough but I kept silent and just hoisted my back pack on my shoulder with a dejected sigh. She was already choosing him over me. Fuck. I felt tears sting my eyes but blinked them away and pushed passed them, avoiding her gaze. I wanted to completely walk away in anger and just walk home but Peter grabbed my arm seemingly out of nowhere.

"Just, hide here, behind the corner and listen. I'm sure Miss Berry s going to tell him off any minute now."

I looked at him in confusion but the nice man just shrugged his shoulders.

"What? I'm the janitor; I know everything there is about this school."

I smiled at his retreating form and hid where he told me to. Soon enough I heard Rachel's voice loud and clear.

"Now you listen to me Finn. You can't just barge in here, during my work hours and demand I simply drop everything including my own students because you want to go on a date with me."

I could hear him trying to protest but she shushed him.

"No, I'm talking now. Second of all yes I care about my students and I am willing to go as far as I need to, to make sure they are successful but most importantly that they feel good here at school. Quinn is my student and she is not throwing her life away. She's got a promising future ahead of her, she's probably one of the only few who will ever truly leave this dump and I am making sure that when that happens she won't ever have to look back. She's more than any of us ever were, more than any student here and you know it and I know it. She's going to make it out of here and I want to make sure it happens. So I won't apologize for investing my time in this 'kid' because she deserves it! And third, I am vegan Finn. I can't eat shit at Breadstix."

As I heard Finn protest I made my way out of the hiding place and jogged to the exit of the school. Once again bumping into Peter.

"Just so you know Miss Fabray, I am rooting for you guys."

Another wink and he was off again, trailing his bucket and mop behind him. I smiled at the sight of the man. He sure was another mystery at this school. I sighed again though realizing that Rachel did agree to a date with the giant no matter what she just said. She had said yes. I pushed the jealousy down and walked over to her car, leaning against it. When I saw Rachel storm out from the door I stood up straighter, my arms half raised to call her over when I watched Finn storm out behind her and grabbing her arm. He spun her around and pulled her against him before dipping his head down and capturing her lips in a kiss. I felt my stomach hurl violently at the sight and when I didn't see her pulling away immediately my heart felt as if it was breaking in two.

Maybe she wasn't holding me back from my happy ending; maybe I was holding her back.

With tears in my eyes I hoisted my back pack on both shoulders and stalked off quietly, taking a longer route to walk home. My head was spinning and my stomach hurt, who was I kidding everything hurt. There was a voice in my head saying I had to turn back and let her explain but the other more dominant part of me took over and just shut me off from everything. The pain I felt was just too much. In the end I realized, she never did say she loved me back.