Disclaimer: All characters belong to NBC and the verses from 1 Cor. 13
If I Have Not Love
Part Nine***********************************
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then
we shall see face to face.
***********************************
As John watched Deb as she cleaned up the kitchen counter, wiping it up with a wet dishcloth, he felt content. Contentment had never been a household word in the Carter home. You always seemed to have to be striving for something. But at this very moment John knew for the first time what contentment was.
"What are you staring at John?" Deb asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Hmmm?" John asked, "Oh! Nothing." John ran his fingers through his hair.
Deb walked over to him and pulled on his loose t-shirt. "Tell me what you're thinking John," she coaxed. "Or I have my ways of getting it out of you."
John rolled his eyes at the playful threat. "Sure!" he retorted. "What are you going to do? Clean my face?" John pointed to the moist dishcloth in her hand.
Deb raised her eyebrows and smiled mischievously. "No," she said slowly, "I'll do this!"
Deb flicked the twisted wet cloth at his leg.
"Ow!" John yelped as the high-speed towel made contact with his thigh.
"I told you I had my ways," Deb teased as she jumped out of his grasping hand.
John whistled as he stood up from the stool and rubbed his leg. "Where'd you learn to do that?"
"When I lived in dorms," she replied casually. "Sometimes the girls would get into these wet towel fights while we washed dishes.
John smiled at the picture. "Really? How come I never got to RA those dorms?"
Deb shook her head. "Shut up John."
When Deb had finished cleaning up the mess they'd made in the kitchen she leaned up against the island counter.
John looked over at her and laughed. "You do know that we have maids to do that?"
Deb grimaced. "A little housecleaning won't kill you John," she reminded, throwing the dishcloth at him.
John ducked as the wet projectile grazed his head. "Hey, I work! Just not in the house," he pointed at Deb.
***
John and Deb made their way out to the backyard. "Hey? Do you still have that swing set out here?"
John nodded. He led the excited Deb to an old-fashioned playground swing set. Deb walked over to the middle seat while John took the one to her right. "I forgot we had these," John piped in.
"Well I just remembered these because I was jealous that you got to have one," Deb recalled. "My parents were too busy to push me, let alone have one of these babies in the yard. Too busy working so that they could give me 'everything' they thought I needed."
John watched Deb as she began to swing. She gazed upwards as she rocked back and forth. "Well you can drop by anytime!" John joked. "I'm sure my grams would enjoy the company."
Deb smiled faintly as she looked over at him. "John," she said seriously. "Do you think you'll ever get married?"
John just about choked on the breath of air he'd just breathed in. "Wh…what made you think about that?" he managed to choke out.
"I was just thinking that I'm getting too old to find that someone," Deb said wistfully. "I mean if you haven't found that right person by now…what are the chances you or me will find that person?"
John looked at Deb wondering if she was implying what he thought she was implying. She seemed very distant and contemplative. "I don't…know," John replied hesitantly.
» * »
Jing Mei noticed how uncomfortable John was. He seemed on edge. Oh God…
"John, I totally wasn't talking about you…and…well, me?" she exclaimed incredulously. "I mean, you're my best friend…I think I know too much about you to fall in love with you…"
Jing Mei felt the heat rise to her face. How did she get herself into this situation?
John grinned his famous grin and Jing Mei knew that the tangent about her and John was over. "Well yeah! I wasn't thinking you meant that!" John fumbled.
Jing Mei tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I was just wondering," she said awkwardly.
John nodded. There was a long period of silence. Finally John spoke up. "I get what you mean though," he offered.
Jing Mei sighed. "Yeah, I mean, do you think you'll ever be ready to commit to one person?"
She finally felt the 'bomb' had been diffused and she and John could talk candidly.
John shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he replied. "I don't know if I believe in forever."
Jing Mei stopped rocking and looked up at John. "Why?"
He shook his head. "I don't know. I mean I've seen what it looks like when it doesn't work and how messed up you can get when you convince yourself it's the right person and it's not."
Jing Mei agreed. "And I've seen it when it's working great and you do everything right and find the right person."
John frowned at her. "And what?" he asked confused. "Why would that kill the idea of marriage for you? Or explain a vast list of short-term relationships. I mean, my parent's marriage and divorce is my excuse."
Jing Mei smiled at his attempt to joke about how hurt he was that his parents were divorcing. She swallowed hard. "Yeah, but near perfection or happiness makes it hard for you to live up to it. Especially when it's my parents," she explained. "They make it look so easy."
John swung his leg onto the other side of the seat so he was straddling the swing. He leaned his face against the metal chain holding up the swing. "Yeah, he sighed. "I guess it's hard all around."
Jing Mei nodded this time. "Sometimes I just want to give up. Who needs someone to come home to?" she asked wearily.
But Jing Mei lied. She wanted that. She wanted to have someone to come home to and give her a hug after a long night. Jing Mei looked at John who'd had a vast number of relationships in the past few years. How she envied those women. Not that she wanted a short heart breaking relationship with John, Jing Mei was happy they could talk and were best friends. But part of her envied that the women had had someone like John chase after them.
Jing Mei was resented Abby's treatment of John the past few months. She had this great guy – actually two, in fact – and she just pushed them away. If Jing Mei had someone half as great as John, she'd be happy, but even that seemed like a dimming reality. Between her job and well, her job, Jing Mei was too tired to go looking for someone. If God had someone for her, like her mother used to tell her when tucking her in her bed, then he'd better hurry up. Because slowly, Jing Mei didn't think she would ever find that person.
She closed her eyes. If you're out there…find me.
» * »
John could read that 'relationship depression' was hovering over her head. "Deb," he said softly. "You'll find someone."
He hated saying that. John sounded like a cliché. She wasn't a pathetic woman who couldn't get a man. Deb just wasn't.
John saw her upper body shiver as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Thanks," she replied distantly.
"Do you want to go back inside?" John offered.
Deb looked at her watch and nodded. "I should probably be getting home."
John untangled him self from the swing set and put his arm around the sullen Deb. "I wasn't just saying it, you know?" he comforted.
"What?" Deb looked up at him confused, as they strolled up the to the house.
"That you'll find someone," he clarified.
Deb nudged him with her hip. "Come on John! With all the pretty blondes in the ER, who'd notice me?" she joked.
John shrugged. "Me?"
Deb looked curiously at him. "If I wasn't into older blonde women," John added, winking at her.
Deb rolled her eyes at him and poked him in the ribs. "Yeah, I should have known! Blondes always have the fun!"
"It's true," John exclaimed, laughing. Deb pushed him to the side and for the rest of the walk up to the house John and Deb jostled, until they ended up racing up the small embankment to the backyard patio.
"Whatever!" Deb exclaimed breathlessly as she beat him up the hill.
» * »
Chuny flipped passed the few pages of hospital procedure to the hidden pool chart about Carter. "Who's down for Abby?" she called.
Four or five hands of the hands belonging to nurses and orderlies raised their hands.
"Chen?" she called.
Three or four hands waved as they began their tasks for the day. Suddenly Gallant and Lewis stopped by at the admin desk and grabbed a couple of charts. Gallant stood there for a moment and then left for an exam room.
Chuny quickly flipped back to the hospital procedures on sterilization and pretended to be looking for something. After a few minutes when it looked like Lewis was done with the chart, Chuny thought she might leave. But then Chuny felt someone looking over her shoulder. "Hospital procedures? I can see why you've been staring at that book for so long! It's so interesting!" Lewis said facetiously.
Chuny bit her lip. "Uh, yeah! It is!"
Susan laughed. "Give it up. So who's got dibs on Abby and who's rooting for Chen?"
Chuny was surprised to say the least. She didn't know Lewis would actually get in on the pool. Chuny flipped back to the pool chart. "Wendy and some orderlies, but I've still got some sitting on the fence."
Susan smiled. "Put me down for Chen."
"Really?" Chuny asked. "I would have thought you would have gone with a sure thing with Abby."
Susan shook her head. "No, Abby's got too much baggage right now. Chen's got that friend thing going and she's exotic too!"
Chuny waved her pen at Lewis. "Yeah, but if you look at the type of women Carter goes out with…" she clicked her tongue.
"Yeah, well that's exactly why he should and will pick Deb…oh, I mean, Jing Mei," Susan reasoned. "I mean, he's gone out with so many that are 'his type' and it's gotten him nowhere. I think he's smartening up and realizing, what he wants isn't what he always needs!"
Chuny nodded her head. "You could be right," Chuny conceded. "But I say he's still got that thing going on with Abby. Besides, Chen doesn't look that interested in him."
"Looks can be deceiving Chuny," Lewis chided. "Looks can be deceiving."
I'm not sure how I like this chapter….hey, R&R and let me know what you think?