DISCLAIMER: i don't own bleach.
Characters: Shinigami Women's Association, minor appearances of Kenpachi, Ikkaku and Hitsugaya, mention of the Shinigami Men's Association
Pairings: none, as far as I know
Word Count: 892
(note: word count excludes observation statement)
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the shinigami all have these Huge Bottomless Sleeves Of Wonder, storing all these miraculous items ranging from things like jumbo Christmas bundles to giant buns.
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There was a sign on a polished wood door. The sign read Shinigami Women's Association in messy scrawls of calligraphy ink. At the bottom of the sign in small print was another messy scrawl, this time in orange crayon. It read All Guys Keep Out, after which an arrow pointed at the word "Women's" in the header of the sign, with a little "DUH!!!" scribbled in blue marker along the length of the arrow. The word "Women's" was also circled several times in different coloured crayons and markers.

Now, standing at the door with a green crayon in her hand was, in fact, the diminutive figure of the chairperson of the said association.

After underlining the All Guys Keep Out, she scrawled an OR ELSE after the Out.

This was the usual procedure of the chairperson before every meeting. She would pause in front of the sign, spot something that could be added in, and then add it in with whatever writing material she happened to have on her, which was usually a crayon.

Satisfied with the amendments, the little girl with the shocking pink hair entered the room and perched herself atop the meeting table and addressed her minions.

'Ne, ne, what're we gonna do today?'

Someone raised her hand. Yachiru turned towards her and said, 'yeah?'

The soft-spoken Nemu said, 'I was thinking we could engineer something that could benefit the entire shinigami population.'

'Mm…I know!' without waiting for further ideas, Yachiru stood herself up to her full height and the height of the table, which probably amounted to a total of one and a half metres. 'We could make somethin' that could, like, help everyone be able to carry a lot of things without carrying anything!' this only earned her confused stares. She continued, 'kinda like an in-built bag in the shihakushou!'

After ten seconds of murmuring, the association approved and sent Nemu off to do the engineering. After all, it was HER idea. Two hours after that, she came back with a mass of cloth in her arms. She straightened it over the table as the association gawped at it.

Finally, Kiyone asked, 'What's the difference?'

Nemu smiled. 'That's the point.' She handed it over to an excited Yachiru who pulled it on over her shihakushou. Still nobody saw any difference.

That is, until the chairperson reached into the depths of her sleeves to find an enormous void. Immediately her eyes grew in size and began sparkling. Without another word, she launched herself towards Nemu and hugged her. That was when she began screaming. 'NEMUNEMUNEMU!!! How'd ya do it?? Huh? Huh? Huh? Are we gonna make more?? Can I keep this? Do I get more?'

'I suppose we could make some for everyone and market them at a 75 per cent profit price. All proceeds will fund our future projects.'

Nanao pushed her glasses up her face. 'But if we market them at such a high price, who will buy them?'

Soifon looked up. 'We could threaten the likely customers.'

Matsumoto smiled an evil smile. 'We could blackmail the unlikely customers.'

Kiyone, slightly aghast by the dastardly tactics usually employed by the Shinigami Women's Association, said, 'why don't we advertise them? Like, put up posters everywhere.'

After doing things the democratic way, they decided to print posters to convince everyone, and then threaten those who refused. If need be, prices would be slashed (by about one per cent, according to Yachiru), and blackmail tactics would be employed.

- -

The Shinigami Women's Association took things rather literally. Each member was given about fifty posters, which they would stick around seireitei, everywhere, to quote the chairperson, who quoted Kiyone.

So everywhere the posters were.

All over seireitei shrieks, groans, moans and accusations were flying.

'Nanao-chaaaaaaaaaaan!! What's this in my sake bottle?'

'Kiyone! What's this poster doing here?'

'Nemu. What is the meaning of this poster stuck to my computer screen?'

'MATSUMOTO!!! Get your lazy butt in here and tell me what the (insert beep) this ugly poster is doing under my (insert beep)-ing PILLOW!!'

'It's not an ugly poster, taichou! It's a work of art!'

'Not when it's scribbled in orange and blue crayon with "trademark of Yachiru" written all over!' (A/N: of course he means it in a figurative way)

'Fukutaichou, why should we look?'

''Cuz it's somethin' important!'

'What?'

'Come on, can't ya just look, Pachinko? Ain't that hard, is it?'

'Tell me why I should look at a piece of paper hanging from taichou's haori.'

'Just look.'

And so Kenpachi spent the day as a walking advertisement. His scary face coupled with the messy poster (with murder threats) pinned over his division number on the back of his haori pretty much scared everyone into buying at least two of the newly-engineered shihakushous.

Having spent more money than they would rather have spent on the new shihakushou, the shinigami decided to put its improvements to use.

Shinigami were carrying things like candy, spare sandals, sake, hair gel and a few particularly on-the-job taichous stuffed stacks of paperwork in one sleeve and a brush and inkpot in the other sleeve.

- -

Drowning in money, the Shinigami Women's Association had another gathering, this time not discussing how to get money but what to use it for.

The first option to be struck off the list was Donate To The Shinigami Men's Association.

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Yeah! long time no post, I know, but here it is! this one goes to Delmarch, yups! I know this is from really long ago, but oh well. that's just the way I work...in no particular order. which is probably why everyone thinks I'm a little odd.

oh, and by the way, at the top of this chapter in the observation, there's this reference to the Shinigami Zukan, where Ukitake pulls Christmas bundles (looking a bit out of season though) out of his sleeves and another one where Byakuya reaches into the depths of his sleeve and stuffs Yachiru's mouth with this enormous bun. looks better than rabbits coming out of hats, if you ask me.