DC: Greetings readers! Sorry for the lack of updating. Don't expect updates every other day like before. I simply can't do it. So, without further ado, on with the story!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

A dark, cloaked rider rushed through the night on a black horse. In his hand he carried a sparkling gray jewel. After much riding, the figure arrived at an enormous black gate. The gate swung open to give him passage into the dark valley on the other side. The rider rode through the valley toward a massive black tower. The tower loomed over the valley, its flaming eye scanning the land. The figure approached the tower and laid the jewel at its base. The eye roared.

"Idiot wraith!" screeched Sauron, "You got the wrong vessel of power!" The wraith shrugged.

"Sorry," apologized the wraith, "I'm blind, remember? I can only sense things." The eye sighed.

"Just leave it there, then." said the eye. The wraith bowed, mounted his horse, and rode away.


Back in Bane's apartment, all was still. That was, all except Yawackhary. He couldn't sleep. Bane and Carnage had fallen asleep on the couch, leaving him to wander around the apartment. It didn't take him long to find Bane's bedroom. Yawackhary smiled to himself. He opened the door and stepped inside. He stared at the décor in awe.

"Nice red light." he muttered to himself. He looked around and noticed a large black trunk with a hand sticking out of it labeled 'DO NOT OPEN UNLESS YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT/HAVE TO'. Yawackhary REALLY wanted to. He picked the lock and opened the trunk. Light and fog as black as a Goth convention poured out. Yawackhary looked inside. It was empty. He sighed and walked out of the room, leaving the trunk and bedroom open…


The next day, Carnage woke up next to Bane. She got up and went to her room to change. When she came back, Bane was sitting on the T.V.

"Uh, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Noooooothing." replied Bane in a slightly higher pitched voice. Yawackhary walked into the room.

"Hi!" he exclaimed.

"Hey," said Carnage, do you notice something different about Bane?" The cat had Summoned a random pogo-stick and was jumping on it on the ceiling.

"Not really." replied Yawackhary.

"Oh, I love being a Cat Mage," said Bane suddenly, "Casting spells all the time. The useful Teleportation, the mighty Firebolt, the ultimate Celestial Strike, the multipurpose Summoning, why, it makes me want to sing, sing, SING!" Suddenly five random Cat Mages Teleported into the room. They began singing.


Bane: Oh, I'm a Cat Mage, and I'm okay. I sleep all night and cast spells all day.

CM (Cat Mages): Oh, he's a Cat Mage and he's okay. He sleeps all night and cast spells all day!

Bane: I cast my spells, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory! On some days I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!

CM: He casts his spells, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory! On some days he goes shopping, and has buttered scones for tea!

Both: 'Cause he's a Cat Mage and he's okay. He sleeps all night and cast spells all day.

Bane: I cast some spells, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers. I wear Carnage's clothing, and hang around in bars!

CM: He cast some spells, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wildflowers. He wears Carnage's…clothing, and hangs around in…bars!?

Both: 'Cause he's a Cat Mage and he's okay. He sleeps all night and cast spells all day.

Bane: I cast more spells; I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I was a girlie, just like my dear papa!

CM: He cast more spells; he wears high heels, suspenders… and a …bra?

The mages stop singing.


"I know what's wrong!" said one of the mages. She cast an Exorcism. Suddenly, Bane began to glow. The demon that had possessed him was cast out.

"Just like my dear mama." sang the demon as it vanished. Bane tried to clear his head.

"That demon must have escaped the box I had it in." said Bane, "Thanks guys." The mages nodded and Teleported away. Yawackhary was whistling inconspicuously.

"So, should we head for the next emerald?" he asked hurriedly. Bane nodded.

"Let's go!" Bane exclaimed as he teleported them away.


"So it is decided," said Elrond, "The ring must be destroyed. But who will accept such a task?" Suddenly, Team Nightmare appeared out of nowhere. The council gasped. Gandalf had a heart attack and died.

"Great, there goes our wizard." muttered Aragorn.

"Did someone say great wizard?" asked Bane. "I and my team are at your service." Elrond nodded.

"Very well, you are now the Fellowship of the Ring!" exclaimed Elrond.

"Great," said Carnage, "…where are we going?"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Wow, Monty Python and LOTR and one chapter. Have I gone mad? Can the team survive the perils of Middle-Earth? Will Sauron get the ring? Will Fang and Sam return?

Yawackhary: Will you give me cool lines?

Bane: Will you build on my romance?

Carnage: Will you ever shut up?

DC: REVIEW and stay tuned!

        