So, here we get a look into Sesshoumaru's heart in a way, and Touga comes back on the scene too. Sesshoumaru is not in love with Kagome yet, I have to make that clear now, so sorry, but I don't like people falling in love so quickly. The way Sesshoumaru feels for Kagome is platonic, the way Inuyasha feels for Kagome in the anime. He loved her a s a deep friend and is jealous of other people getting close to her, but romance will have to wait. I hope I portrayed this clearly enough in my writing. Sorry for the late update, and for those who care – 'Lord of the West' is going really slowly, it is giving my problems – read, review and enjoy.
Chapter 10 – The air between us
Suddenly Kagome became aware that she was throttling nothing but air. She was, admittedly angry and crazy enough to want to try and kill the atmosphere but a feat such as that was beyond even her fury enhanced powers. The trouble was, with air, being what it was, it could not be restricted oxygen, and therefore could not be suffocated. In fact, it could not be killed in any sort of way at all, and despite her madness, she had to grudgingly admit that the air was useful and she needed it in order to survive anyway.
What was more, simple killing was not enough; she felt the insatiable need to hurt someone. But again, the air continued to thwart her plans by simply being what it was. The air was not alive and therefore it could not be killed. It did not have nerves and so could not be physically abused, and it had fewer feelings than Sesshoumaru so it could not be psychologically attacked either. Yet still it remained to be the one thing between her and her enemy, filling the void between the two bodies like a shield – biased bastard.
The air again it comes into play, being the only thing between her and the source of all her frustrations and anger. He was dangling in the air about a metre in front of her and... he was dangling in the air? She glanced downwards and sure enough, yep, his feet came into view about half a metre from the ground. He was being held up in their by the scruff of his neck as one would hold a kitten, or a puppy. As if on instinct he had curled up into the foetal position on his captors grasp and gone limp as you were supposed to.
He was not happy about his situation one bit though, any fool could see that, he probably wanted to kill her as much as she wanted to finish him off. After all, nobody in their right mind attacked Sesshoumaru and expected to live, and her for his part, lived up to his name. He did not take well to offence, and slapping him was not a good way to kick-start a good relationship. Even after they became friends of sorts, five days after initiating the 'truce' as Sesshoumaru liked to call it, trying to strangle him was not a good way to pursue their relationship.
Yes, he looked at her angrily; well things were too bad for him. This left things free for her to move in for the kill now he was restrained. However, when she tried to advance on him she found she did not move any further, and with one glance down she found she was being restrained too. Her legs dangled about half a metre in the air just like his making it impossible to get to the dojo flaw and rush at Sesshoumaru. She growled at the irritating predicament as she finally realized what was happening to the two of them.
She and Sesshoumaru were being prevented from charging at each other by being help up in that blasted air and away from one another by the scruffs of their necks. Inutaisho was the one who was restraining them, and Kagome had to admit that this was unsurprising when you think about. He was the only one strong enough to hold them both in the air, one powerful miko, and the other a powerful youkai, one dangling helplessly in the air from each hand like some rag doll. What's more he could act as if the whole thing was nothing, to him, it probably was nothing, lucky omnipotent bastard, he was on the hit list straight after air just for that.
He was glaring at them with an expression that just shouted the words 'I am not amused', but he still looked as though he might start laughing any moment. There was also a hint of a... relieved expression on his stony face, hmm, Kagome could think of no reason as to why he should look relieved of all things to look, – it certainly wasn't over them fighting, that was what the queen Victoria expression was for.
He was giving her the brunt of the stony gaze, understandable seeming as she was the one who flew at Sesshoumaru, and therefore initiated the physical part of the fight – well the conflict was stopped before it became physical really. Kagome was not going to pretend to be naive; it was good the Inutaisho had intervened when he did. Sesshoumaru looked ready to retaliate, and if retaliate he did, there was a good chance that Kagome would not live to tell the tale. When Sesshoumaru set his mind to killing someone – they died – well usually, she seemed to be an exception to the rule seeming as he had tried to kill her numerous times now, yet she still breathed, but she was not going not push her luck on the matter of her impending demise.
Furthermore, it was only natural to be biased towards your own son and heir. She decided to give him her best innocent look with the wide puppy dog eyes and charming smile. It did not work, he only glared harder, alright, so she deserved his anger, but still, his eldest pup was at fault too, why did he not get any evil eye? Life was so unfair, she already knew that and there was no one there to complain to either, things just kept getting better and better!
"Hey," she said, smiling nervously up at him, staring into his burning amber eyes. "Umm, it's nice to see you, what brings you here?" The conversational tone was implanted in a ploy to try sand distract him from the fact he was angry about something. She doubted it was going to be any use, he seemed pretty dead set on remembering he was pissed about something – or maybe it wasn't anger, maybe it was boredom, aggravation or something.
When he did not answer, Kagome decided to speak again to keep the conversational tone going; it was not like Sesshoumaru was going to be any use. Yet before she could do anything of the sort, he dropped them and the two teens landed in their own undignified heap on the ground with an 'eek' and a 'humph' from Kagome, and silence from Sesshoumaru of course. They quickly righted themselves and sat on the dojo floor cross legged, about a metre from each other. Yet they were no longer irritated at one another, or even thinking of the other, the new mystery unfolding was the behaviour of the alpha of the West.
"Were you not in a meeting today father?" Sesshoumaru hose this moment to join in, sounding awfully important and more innocent than she could even hope to. He brushed his clothes down to get the dust off them and stood up to face his father as a dignified prince and not a pup, whereas he was actually stuck somewhere in between. Still, his anger at her impudence for attacking him seemed forgotten which is a plus that is gladly received. An angry Sesshoumaru is never an easy thing to try and deal with.
Inutaisho turned his steely eyes from her to his eldest pup, and she noted that his amber eyes did not soften when facing his son. Sesshoumaru however, either did not notice this or did not care; perhaps he was used to the same harsh treatment as any subjects of the Western Lord received. Kagome noticed this though and she could not help but feel the slightest bit of anger towards the dog general. While she respected him for being fair, it was only natural to be biased, you should be biased towards your family.
"I was in meeting Sesshoumaru," he answered him; his quiet voice was kept level and betraying nothing more than faint disapproval. "In fact," he continued, stepping back so he was glaring at the two of them together to show they were both in shame, "I should still be in it, I left half way through due to an unforeseen conflict I had to put an end to. Usually I would hold no qualms over a scuffle held between two people under my care, but when a newborn is concerned, my newborn, I felt the need to intervene before things grew out of hand."
His newborn? Inuyasha! Kagome suddenly felt awful, she was meant to be one of the young pup's mothers and she had forgotten all about him. She had just left him on the ground behind her and flew at his brother. Now she was concentrating on something other than Sesshoumaru and now Touga she noticed Inuyasha was crying – well actually he was wailing. Her heart wrenched as she saw his tiny shaking form, he was curled up into the foetal position, tears trailing down his pale cheeks from his wide amber eyes.
She knew that expression better than any, she had experienced enough of it herself and from others, although none from Inuyasha before, or a baby. He was not just upset about the fight he had seen, he was scared. Seeing someone he viewed as mother throttling someone he also recognized as family frightened him. It spoke that there was instability in his family and being the child he was he was in danger more so than others because he was unable to protect himself. He was scared because people who were part of his pack were in danger. He was scared because kids are frightened and cry when they see fights.
She immediately got up from where she had been sitting n the dojo ground and ran over to where Inuyasha was still crying. She immediately gathered him up in her arms and hugged him close, murmuring nothings, reassuring him the fighting had stopped and he was alright. "It's alright little one; no one is going to hurt you. You're safe I promise, the scawy fighting has stwoppted, see, no one is angwy anymore." She rocked the trembling hanyou in her arms as she murmured to him, getting him to quieten down.
"Don't cry my little inky poo, you're O.K, so there is no need for those little tears anymore."
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, 'inky poo' – it was getting worse.
Sesshoumaru growled at the tone she was using though, he did not like the way she was acting with his brother. His father, on the other hand found in rather amusing, and put a hand on his other son to tell him to let things lie. But he did not understand, what he was feeling was jealousy directed towards his brother, he was gaining such affection, such affection he had never gained himself. His own mother had never paid such close attention to him or spoken to him with such love, even if he did find the tone slightly sickening being the age he was now.
He had turned to his father when his mother died for attention, but he never paid it to him. His mother had loved him he was sure, but she had loved his father more, so he was always second place. His father in turn had loved his mother, and when she died he only got about two years of being someone's most important person before his father's love was redirected to that human woman Izayoi. He refused to feel jealousy over some human woman so he had convinced himself that what he felt was hate and anger that his father was willing to taint the family blood by creating a hanyou – a breed everybody agreed was an abomination.
Yet he now knew this not to be true, he had no problem with their being a hanyou in the family. They could not help how they were born, and hating them was not going to help anything. If his father and Izayoi loved each other then he really had no right to wish them apart. His father had no obligation to not find another mate now his former one was dead really. No, with the meeting of the kind hearted miko Kagome Higurashi, he found out that what he had been feeling was indeed jealousy, and he felt it again now.
He believed he had finally found someone who looked up to him in adoration and love, if only friendship. He had found someone who cared deeply for him and held rightly earned respect for him, not just because of his station. He found someone who listened to his words and took into account his views. He found someone who saw things the way he did, liked the same things he did, someone who was similar to him, someone he could relate to.
He found someone who could teach him things he never thought he would learn – friendship, brotherhood, things he had not known or even cared to know before. He had found someone he found he had loved and wanted to keep around forever. In the five days he knew he had found that he never wanted her to go. He wanted her to look up to him and only him, to love him more than she loved anyone else. The possessiveness he knew was not fair and nor was it healthy, and in five days he found he did not care.
He loved the girl named Kagome Higurashi and in seven days, a mere two days more than him, Inuyasha had won her over. He was a newborn pup, he was only good for crying, eating or suckling and burbling, he could not speak, fight, or even move. He could not protect her, give her the affection she deserved, and yet here she stood, she loved him more than she could ever pay to another. It was not just the love a mother had for a pup too, she looked at him with adoration, respect, comradeship, such deep love.
He wanted to spill his brother's blood, but at the same time, the thought of him doing that to his own blood sickened him. He knew he would protect that blasted pup to the bitter end if need be, for Kagome if not for Inuyasha, or even himself. Kagome, Izayoi, father, himself, just what was it about that pup that made everyone fall over themselves for him? What did he do, how did he do it, and how could he do the same to get the girl he wanted.
They were so close, him and Kagome, but just physically right now. They were a world apart, and in their feelings for each other, two or three worlds separated them. She was his friend, and he did not want another, especially his brother to steal her away. Emotionally they were so far away together, when she was standing but a couple of paces from him. Why did she entice such feelings in him anyway, that human? Not that being a human meant anything of course, she was Kagome Higurashi and she was his friend, nothing else mattered.
He reached out to touch her shoulder with his fingertips and they brushed her arm. She did not turn around to regard him and he let his arm fall back down to his side. There she was, so close yet so far, within touching distance, still there, coddling the pup, he had felt her. So why – why did he feel this way about her being with him. There was only air between them, air that could was not a solid barrier, yet such an inpenetratable one at the same time.
Kagome.