"Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption, winding in and winding out. The shine of it has caught my eye, and roped me in. So, mesmerizing, so hypnotizing, I am captivated..."
Vindicated-- Dashboard Confessional
"...we should go back to the Other's settlement. They will have something I can use to charge the battery." Sayid suggested. He stood next to Jack about a hundred yards from the cage he was guarding, where Ben sat trying to look like he wasn't interested in the hushed tones of the conversation they shared. Jack caught Ben's eye for a split second then took a step back, Sayid followed his example.
When Juliet had woken up she'd taken Jack's place next to Kate and told Jack to get some sleep. He had thanked her for her concern but had left to discuss their current dilemma with Sayid instead. Sayid had been sitting in his usual spot next to Ben's cage and had seemed glad for the company. Jack could only imagine how boring and irritating the task of guarding Ben could be, and was more than grateful that Sayid had stepped up and taken it off of his hands.
"How long will it take you?" Jack whispered, unwilling to believe that Ben couldn't hear them. He wished that Sayid would spend a few more hours a day away from the cage. He was far from comfortable discussing anything in front of their prisoner.
"Two days at most." Sayid answered then tossed a look back over his shoulder at Ben. "Someone will have to watch him. Someone who he can't get to."
Jack nodded, knowing exactly what Sayid meant. Ben could be persuasive and the last thing they needed was for him to convince someone that he could help them better outside of his nice little cage. That he was innocent of any wrongdoing. As it was there was already talk back at the beach about the justice of keeping him locked up.
Once the immediate threat disappeared, people, he supposed, were always more than willing to question the measures taken to secure their safety.
"I think you should take Sawyer with you." Jack spoke, his eyes still on Ben. As it was he was surprised that Sawyer wasn't making a big deal about Kate's absence, and he didn't need him hanging around interfering with Kate's recovery. The sooner she moved back into her tent, the better. "I'll stay here and watch him, while you go to the beach and get Sawyer. Talk to Jin, if there is anyone here who won't be effected by Ben's mind games it's him." Jack finished, his eyes drifting back to Sayid.
Sayid nodded and returned back to the cage to pick up his bag before disappearing into the jungle.
Jack sat down next to the cage, his back resting against a tree as exhaustion threatened to close his eyes. He'd ceased to count the hours since the last time he'd closed them to sleep. As a doctor he'd learned how to function on little or no sleep, but he was out of practice and it was effecting him.
"I can help you." Ben offered and Jack's eyes shot open to meet his. Guilty of drifting off for a second, Jack cast his eyes sideways quickly checking to see if anyone had caught him.
"Finally decided to talk huh? Too bad I don't care." He answered when he noted the coast was clear, then settled back into the tree a bit more.
"They can't find you. The island interferes with their navigation equipment." Ben came to stand against the bars and Jack folded his arms across his chest.
"Is that supposed to impress me?" Any genius could see they were still on the island, and it would take a lot of deduction to come to that reasoning. Especially after the helicopter crash.
"No Jack. It's just the truth. I'm not trying to impress you, just telling you the truth." Ben seemed earnest, but Jack was not about to trust him at face value.
"Why me? If you're so eager to tell the truth why didn't you tell Sayid?"
Ben smiled before answering.
"Why would I? You're their leader." and then almost as if an afterthought, "Besides, I owe you for saving my life."
"Whatever you have to tell yourself I guess." Jack chuckled and tilted his head back against the tree, he planned to ignore the rambling lunatic across the way.
"I'm offering you another option. I can help you if you let me."
Jack shifted and laughed uneasily. What if he could help? What if he was the only person who could get them off the island? Ben seemed to know all of the secrets of the island, why wouldn't he know how to get off it, he'd promised Jack that exact thing. He must have a way to communicate with the outside world, he'd brought Juliet in. But they'd destroyed his sub, the substation used for communication had been blown to pieces as well. No, Ben didn't have anything else to add.
Just his delusional dreams. Jack decided to listen to him, if anything it would be an amusing distraction that would keep him awake until Jin showed up to take over.
"Fine, and just how exactly do you propose to help us." He relented and Ben's smile grew. He wasn't a fool, he knew that Jack was only playing along. But he also knew that what he was about to say was something that Jack couldn't afford to ignore. Not if he wanted off the island.
"They could circle out there for years and never find this place." He started out by playing on Jack's fears. "Why do you think no one has found you yet? Why do you think this place isn't on any maps? Those who stumble across this place, don't find it again, not without help Jack. In the back of your mind you know that."
"And yet somebody has the foresight to drop supplies for those of you still here. Seems to me like someone can find this place." Jack stood and walked over to the cage.
"True to a point. Would you care to guess when the last time a pallet of supplies was dropped? I can tell you, though I think you already know."
Fear tried to weasel its way into his heart, cold dark dread threatened to close off his lungs. He did know when the last pallet was dropped, and he didn't have to walk the entire island to know he was right. He had stumbled across that pallet with Kate. It seemed like a lifetime ago, in reality it was only a few weeks. But it was enough to cause concern. Or at least make him question Ben's words.
"That doesn't mean anything."
"But it does. Nothing has flown over successfully since before you and yours destroyed the Swan, and then you destroyed the Flame as well. I can only assume that since your phone is functioning that the Looking Glass is also non functional. For wanting off of this island, you seem pretty intent on destroying your options."
No, he was wrong. None of that mattered. Something tugged at the back of his mind, something he should have remembered before. And then with sudden clarity it hit him.
"The radio tower!" Some leader he was, why hadn't he thought about using it earlier? At the very least leaving a message much like the one they'd shut off to use the damned phone.
Ben smiled. The tower wasn't much of a threat. Locke would shut it off. If he hadn't already destroyed it. Jacob wasn't about to let anyone off the island. He'd allow Jack his dream, if it meant it gave him a chance to get out of the cage and down to the Temple, but he couldn't resist placing some doubt into Jack's mind.
He understood that by telling Jack it wouldn't work, he'd only be encouraging him to try and that by telling him it would work Jack would never believe him. So instead he'd lead him down a path Jack could interpret for himself. He was a smart man and would soon come to realize that his options were limited.
"The signal has been playing for the last sixteen years and no one has heard it. What makes you think you'll have better luck?"
Jack remembered the argument well, Danielle had spoken the same words and then Juliet had told them about the Looking Glass. His prime concern had been about keeping those on the beach safe, about blowing the Other's to pieces, all he could think about was fighting back.
Looking back he tried not to read too much into it. His concern now was getting off the island and he couldn't look back and feel guilty for forgetting that every now and then.
"You were jamming the signal then, any signal but your own." He contradicted.
"For sixteen years?" Ben chuckled. "Why not just shut if off if it was such a threat, Jack? Why would we block it for sixteen years, when we could have just shut it off?"
Because they hadn't blocked it for sixteen years. Only since the crash, only since Jacob had told him to. Sixteen years ago, Dharma was still in control of the island. Sixteen years ago, a trip to the radio tower was a death sentence and Dharma viewed anyone outside of the Barracks or substations as a threat. Hostiles.
But even then, power had been shifting and Jacob had given him a list of people to gather. Ben had not dreamed that it would take sixteen years for all of them to finally get to the island.
"There is a reason for everything Jack. Nothing happens accidentally. Especially here." Ben lowered his voice and Jack spun around as his fears made him angry.
What if he couldn't get them off the island? What if Ben was right?
"I suppose you're here now, not because we put you here, but because you're supposed to tell me how to get out of this mess." Jack snorted, spun around and grabbed the bamboo bars.
"I didn't say that. But I do know how to get off the island."
Jack laughed, pushed off the bars and sat down under a tree across from the cage again.
"Fine." He threw out flippantly, as he cast a somewhat amused but mostly condescending smirk Ben's way. "Enlighten me."
"They will never find you by boat, that is a fact." Ben started, he could see the uncertainty in Jack's eyes. "The magnetic field will tell their navigational equipment that they are heading toward your recorded signal, when in reality they are headed off course. It won't matter how many times they try, they will always veer off course. The only reason the helicopters were able to find you is that they could see the island. A boat does not have that luxury."
Ben paused and Jack gave him a cold look. "Ask Sayid about navigating the island. Ask him about the compass. If you don't believe me, he will tell you."
"So how can you help with that Ben? You got some secret button to push that will make it all better." Jack stood up and scoffed. This was a waste of time. He'd had enough of buttons with Locke.
There was one thing that was certain, this island had the ability to turn almost anyone into a dribbling idiot.
"No. You need to send them a new signal. There is one place on this island that is protected from the magnetic field. One heading a ship can use to approach the island without being redirected. I can take you there."
Jack paused to think about it. At least half of what Ben said was probably true. He remembered a conversation with Sayid about Locke's broken compass, and people had to have been able to reach the island before Dharma created the hatch that controlled the magnetic field. But any genius could see that the most likely location for this mystical, magnetically protected zone Ben was talking about, was the docks he'd watched Michael and Walt leave from.
"If what you're saying is true then I already know where that place is. We don't need you to take us there."
The doctor always thought he was so smart, Ben smirked.
"Are you sure of that? Once the island is in sight, it would be fairly easy to navigate around it to dock. Sawyer and Kate did it without any navigational equipment at all. And how do you know those are the only docks on the island Jack? You seem willing to risk an awful lot. Are you sure you want off this island?"
Sawyer hadn't seen Kate in almost twenty-four hours and already it was starting to irritate him. She hadn't been waiting up for him when he'd gotten back from watching Ben the previous night and he hadn't realized how much he'd come to rely on seeing her there every night, waiting for him, even if neither would admit that's what she'd been doing.
It had been a slap in the face, to return and find her spot empty. An acknowledgment that this time he'd really screwed things up. And maybe it was for the best, but it still stung. Not that he should be caring...
He had not seen her around camp all day either. Of course again, he couldn't blame her. He'd hide too, the last person he'd want to see was himself.
It wasn't until Sun came up to him and asked if he'd seen her that he started to worry about it, though. That was about an hour ago and he was gathering supplies so he could go and search the jungle. Something wasn't right. It was one thing to hide from him, but Kate wouldn't hide from half the camp as well.
He bumped into Sayid just as he was leaving his tent. Sayid had already stopped by Jin's tent and had asked for Jin's help. Sun translated and they both soon agreed to the request. Jin had reached into his tent and grabbed a bag and his water bottle and had headed out to relieve Jack.
"I am going to the Other's settlement." Sayid interrupted Sawyer's departure. "The battery in the phone is dying and we need to find a way to charge it. I would appreciate your help."
"Love to really, but I got something I gotta take care of first. You seen Kate around?" Sawyer asked, his eyes searching the small clusters of people on the beach, his heart sinking further when he once more confirmed her absence. If he'd had the power, she'd come walking out of the jungle at any moment, so intense was his desire to see her do just that.
"No, but I'm sure she is fine. She's very adept at taking care of herself." Sayid seemed unconcerned, and stood waiting for Sawyer to explain the reason for his concern.
"Yeah, ordinarily I'd agree with you. But no one seems to remember seeing her since yesterday and it isn't like her to disappear for so long."
"She was mad at you though, it's possible she does not want to be found." Sayid supplied, though his eyes too seemed to search the horizon for his missing friend.
"And that's all fine and dandy, but she can't run off and not tell anyone where she's gone. Not here, and she knows that too."
"Perhaps we should gather a small group and organize a search. Who have you questioned about her disappearance?"
It was at that moment that a weary Jack half walked, half stumbled, from the jungle and caught the attention of both men. Jack also noticed them and called out to them.
"Sayid! Sawyer!" They hurried over to him and Sawyer instantly pressed him for information.
"Have you seen Kate? No one here has seen her since yesterday."
Jack sighed, his attention wandered over to the larger man who stood a few feet behind Sawyer and Sayid. Hurley looked sheepish and clearly unhappy, it had taken them a bit but Juliet and Jack had finally convinced Hurley that Kate would be fine and that he should keep what happened to himself. The best thing for Kate was rest and she needed to be left alone in order for that to happen. They would not miss her for awhile and if Sawyer found out prematurely he'd be more than pissed. They would handle telling Sawyer, and in the meantime Kate could have some time to recover from her ordeal before he came in yelling and screaming.
Hurley had seen their point and he didn't envy them one bit. He didn't want to be the one to deliver the news. That Kate had lost her baby. He didn't want to be the one to inform his friend of the look on Jack's face, almost devastation, as he'd found her lying unconscious on the ground. The image of Jack holding Kate's head in his lap, helpless, the sound of him screaming for Hurley to find help. The pain and disappointment on Jack's face as he watched Juliet treat her, and then his near inhuman cry when she started to bleed. Like a man in love, like a father losing his child. Hurley could only imagine Sawyer's anger, when he found out, and he couldn't help but be a little angry at Kate as well, for keeping Jack's baby a secret.
And it had to be Jack's kid. Because he'd heard Juliet whispering to Jack, telling him she was sorry. Because Jack was with Juliet now and Kate wanted to get rid of the baby. Because no one could miss the scene on the beach the day before, where Jack called after her, or Sawyer's heated words a few hours later. And lastly because it just wasn't possible for it to be Sawyer's. He'd heard Juliet talking to Jack about it, about how it would have been conceived when Kate was out hunting for Jack.
Of course it would have helped if Hurley had heard the whole conversation. The part where she'd corrected herself and put the conception date as the night Kate had shared a cage with Sawyer. But Hurley had been too overwhelmed with the discovery at the time to catch that little tidbit.
And so he stood, guilty, and feeling miserable for Sawyer as he had asked everyone around him for information on Kate. He hadn't spoken up and Sawyer had trudged off. Hurley had followed him with his eyes and then had positioned himself close by, trying to figure out a way to keep his promise to Jack and Juliet, but alleviate Sawyer's fears as well.
Now, Jack would tell him about the baby and it would be all over.
But Jack didn't tell him about the baby.
"She's fine. I saw her a little while ago. She wants to be left alone." He supplied instead, and shot Hurley a look. Hurley nodded unhappily and wandered off. Jack was only trying to protect Kate, and he supposed that as the father of her child he had a right to do that. He just didn't think it was right to keep that from Sawyer, but he wasn't going to butt in, right in front of Jack. Another time would come.
"Figures. She coulda told someone though. Sun was worried." Sawyer shrugged it off, and his fear once more transformed back into anger. A bitter, dull ache, that flamed just below the surface.
"Now... you want me and Mohammad to do what?"
"I want to go back. You can't keep me here forever." Kate protested, her arms folded across her chest as she sat on the table, very much like a petulant child.
"You nearly died, I don't think it's a wise a idea for you to go traipsing through the damn jungle." Juliet argued.
"You can't keep me here."
"Wanna make a bet?"
Kate had not let up since waking up three hours earlier, and Juliet was about ready to strangle her. If drugs weren't in limited supply she would have drugged her back into sleep, but with no supply drops looming and the chances of rescue becoming more slim, it just wasn't a chance she could take.
And by all rights Kate shouldn't have been awake at all, let alone feeling well enough to hike back just yet. Damned island and its miracle healing properties! She was really growing to hate the place.
"Come on." Kate whined. "People will miss me. Sawyer will come looking for me and I'd rather not be here when he finds me."
That was it right there. She didn't want Sawyer to know anything had happened, and if she got her way, he probably wouldn't. By the time he wanted to spend time with her again, the island would most likely have her healed, especially if her current recovery speed was any indication.
"It won't just go away you know. This is something you'll have to live with. Just because your body heals..."
Kate gave her a dirty look.
"I know." She growled and pushed herself off the table.
And she did know, she already felt guilty about it. She didn't need some self-righteous, traitor doctor telling her how she'd feel. She really just wanted to sleep it off in her own tent, far away from everyone else.
"Kate. Get back up there." Juliet grabbed her arms and tried to steer her back to the table, but Kate had recovered a remarkable amount of strength, and Juliet found herself left with two options.
Fight with her until she exhausted herself or give her, her damned stubborn way.
It would serve her right if she collapsed in the jungle somewhere.
Being tired and irritable, and thinking that it might be entertaining to watch Kate face plant it in the middle of the jungle, not to mention fulfilling, Juliet gave in.
So they'd slowly trekked back to the beach and after another war, much smaller than the one they'd had about leaving the medical hatch, she had Kate settled next to Jack in their tent. It was a good thing Jack had the foresight to send Sawyer away for a couple of days, otherwise Juliet figured she'd still be outside fighting with Kate about her new sleeping arrangements.
Jack rolled over and groggily opened his eyes.
"What's she doing here! I thought we'd decided she'd stay in the hatch for another day at the very least!" Jack sat up quickly.
"Shhhh! If you wake her up, I swear to you I will never so much as look in your direction again!" Juliet whispered fiercely. Jack smiled.
"That bad huh?" He teased and leaned in to kiss Juliet.
Juliet avoided his lips. "You owe me."
Sawyer and Sayid made good time, the trek through the jungle didn't take them as long as it had previously as the route was not a new one, and the sun was just disappearing from the sky when they reached the settlement.
The wind blew through the trees in an ominous fashion, and the heavy air settled over the two men, choking out sound. A swing danced and a scrap of paper blew across a field.
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Sawyer asked after a moment.
"Yes." Sayid sighed, and turned his back on the burning piles of rubble that once held their hope for rescue.